12/04/2024
I saw this on twitter today and thought it was an interesting take:
"To all the ppl who were in elementary school or younger when the OJ Simpson s**t happened talkin abt "why yall not RIP'ing that man?" lemme give the short sweet answer:
He wasn't black. He was OJ.
The North remembers."
OJ is a PERFECT example of someone who, at least it seemed from the outside looking in, completely turned his back on his own people. And when white people turned on him (justified or not, idc. This ain't that conversation. Fight with your wig.) he had no choice but to come home. But black folk remember.
As a black q***r person, I understand how HARD it can be to be with your own people. ESPECIALLY when your own really don't want you around and make that part clear EVERY chance they get. So a LOT of us black q***r folk find our "tribe" outside of our race. Oftentimes we'll find that camaraderie, love and acceptance outside of our own people.
But as we're creating our tribe, let's not forget there are loving allies within our own communities. They may be hard to locate depending on where in the world you reside (Oklahoma black allies stand up!), but they're out there.
For the longest time, we're talking YEARS at this point, I have felt out of place and misunderstood by my own people. I am q***r, which seems to put me at a disadvantage with a lot of non-q***r black people here in Oklahoma. (Again, black Oklahoma allies PLEASE stand up!) I also have ideas about spirituality and how we fit into the greater scheme of things. Those ideas are a driving force in my life and dictate how I move. Yet those ideas are oftentimes looked upon in fear and righteous contempt amongst the "good Christian black folk" around Oklahoma.
Because of these things, I too found my "tribe" outside my race. I found love, compassion, understanding and camaraderie with mostly white folk. White folk who are either STAUNCH allies, q***r themselves in some way, on similar spiritual paths as me, or a combination of some, or all of the above.
I want to be clear here: I NEVER turned my back on my own people. Never. But through what I've seen and experienced firsthand, coupled with my own insecurities, I chose the path of lesser resistance when creating my own "tribe". And quite frankly, by and large it was easier to find that unconditional love, compassion, understanding and camaraderie with white folk. It just was. And so, I have.
But lately, I find myself in a lot of ways needing to "come back home". To expand my tribe to include more black q***r people and black allies. If for no other reason, as a black person first, I have shared experiences with other black people that no one else can fully understand. As much as I feel "different" and "weird", black folk get me because we have the shared experience of being black people on this planet. And that's a bond we share that no one else on earth can.
The hard part of course is what I've already stated. Finding those black people that love unconditionally, are compassionate, that you can build understanding and camaraderie with while allowing for EVERYONE involved to be their authentic selves, can be hard. It's like trying to find a needle in the proverbial haystack. I know they're out there. I even have a few in my biological family who I KNOW love and accept me unconditionally, even if they don't quite "get" me. But outside of those blessed couple of people, I don't know anyone. But I'd like to.
My experience is WILDLY different than OJ's. OJ Simpson was BELOVED by not only the black community but by the WORLD. He had everything going for him. Had the world on a string. But somewhere along the way, rightfully or not and for whatever reason, he became known within the black community as someone who turned his back on us. I'm just a black, q***r, pagan, psychic guy in the middle of Oklahoma who has found it easier to create my chosen family by and large outside of my race. I am not beloved by the world, only by a wonderful few. I don't have the world on a string, I'm just holding on by a thread. (HA!) I haven't been accused of murdering two people or stealing back my own sports memorabilia.
I'm just Stephen. And I wanna come home. But that home needs to be FILLED with unconditional love, understanding, compassion and camaraderie. Otherwise it's not really home, is it?
