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"Obedience, sacrifice and the damage (and allure) of a high-demand God"
In this episode we use the framework of 'world-building' (like we see in literature) as a way to start thinking about Evangelical/Pentecostal assumptions about reality and how they shape us. In particular we look at a world that is built on a high-demand God who needs to be pleased through obedience and sacrifice and the problems that arise with all of this. There was something so potent about this world as we understood it - it gave us confidence we were on the 'right' side, it provided us with something clear to follow and there was often a promised kind of freedom or breakthrough that was tantalisingly out of reach but available if we could just do what is required. We talk through this 'world' and how it shaped us, exploring the insecure and anxious attachment to God (and to leaders) it fostered, and how it impacts our sense of identity when we are formed in ways that constantly demand we bury our own sense of self.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
P O D C A S T E P I S O D E 9 2
"Growing “good” kids? Rethinking obedience, connection and healthy spirituality."
In this conversation we explore a central theme of many Evangelical/Pentecostal/Charismatic approaches to parenting over the past few decades - namely, "obedience." We discuss the ways that obedience and compliance stem from the theological paradigm that views children born as corrupted sinners along with the looming threat of hell as eternal suffering for those outside the faith. In this context, obedience and compliance become central to parenting and discipleship, and in forming spirituality for all ages. But the outcomes of this can be deeply troubling; what does this say to a kid (or an adult for that matter) about God and about what really matters in the world? This can all contribute to a loss of autonomy and connection to our own wants, desires and needs, the suppression of genuine questions, fawning and people-pleasing extolled as a virtue (especially toward parents, pastors and leaders), and a susceptibility toward authoritarian and abusive leadership. So we tackle all of this, and begin to reflect on what it might mean for healthy spirituality, and what we should do with the themes of obedience found in Christian scripture.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact via email: [email protected]
Support via Patreon: www.patreon.com/intheshift
P O D C A S T E P I S O D E 9 1
“On faith, kids, deconstruction and parenting”
New episode is up!! In this conversation we explore the questions that come up for us around faith and parenting and how we approach the process of discussing spirituality with our kids.
For many folk who have experienced some kind of shifting or deconstructing faith, this can feel complicated or come with feelings of pressure. What should I be telling my kids? What happens if they ask a question but I don’t have a concrete answer? Can (or should) I pass on the good without also passing on the bad? Should I pass on anything at all?
We talk our way through these questions not to offer solutions but to explore how we find ourselves navigating them at this point in our lives. We discuss what we hope for our own children, why we’re interested in having spiritual conversations with them and how that might connect to the kinds of humans we hope for them to become. And in all of this, how these conversations can be approached through the lens of wonder and curiosity, hope and invitation, rather than fear, anxiety and punishment/reward.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
In the Shift episode 90
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"Jane Kennedy on voice, authenticity and gender"
This episode is a follow-up to our previous episode (89) about navigating relationships post-deconstruction, and this time Shane Meyer-Holt does the interviewing! He talks here with Jane Kennedy (a counsellor who works in the field of religious trauma) about the gender and power dynamics that are at play within high-demand/high-control religious communities, and in particular she reflects on the ways in which patriarchal systems - both explicitly and implicitly - impact on what it means for women to find authenticity, to take up space in the world, and to negotiate through the complexity of friendships and relationships after faith change.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
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Jane Kennedy is a Sydney based Counsellor working on Wan-Gal land. She has lived experience of religious trauma and works with people as they go through faith transitions, leave church and/or God. This experience, still frequently misunderstood, can be life-altering. She brings language and framing for the complexities of religious trauma to the counselling space and works with other Australian therapists to broaden knowledge among those working with affected clients.
Jane has written her story, an e-book, The Sentimental Non-Believer, on Loving & Leaving God. Her mini-course, What I Wish My Therapist Knew About Religious Trauma, is a resource for therapists. A new course, Freedom from Religious Trauma, for those with lived experience will be available in 2024.
With much of her career spent in the International Aid & Development sector, Jane has a special interest in trauma-informed programming and the mental health of practitioners. Jane continues to work in this space with agency teams, navigating the impact of saviourism and vicarious trauma using radical self and collective care models.
Jane has two completely delightful
In the Shift episode 89
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Navigating friendship and relationships after "the shift"
In this conversation with Shane Meyer-Holt, we discuss the complexities of navigating relationships with those from our 'past' when we've undergone some kind of fundamental faith transition. How do we negotiate what happens when we change, when the version of ourselves that people are used to relating to has shifted, and what are the complex intersections that collide when we seek to take up authentic space in the world?
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
E P I S O D E 8 8
"Making 'peace' with the past"
After a bit of a podcast hiatus, the first episode of 2024 is here! In this episode I talk through my own reflections on what it means to make some kind of 'peace' with the past - especially as it relates to a past of harmful religious beliefs and communities. This can be a complex journey, even more so when this has impacted the very core of identity formation and important relationships in our lives. This is not about moving on and forgetting, but about continuing to make space for what we feel, as well as reflecting on the importance of understanding systemic dynamics, and of cultivating levels of empathy for self and others. The hope is that this points us toward what it might look like for us to take up authentic space in the world.
Listen: wherever you find your podcasts
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
In the Shift episode 87
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"Where we've been: a conversation on suffering, friendship, vulnerability and resisting hustle culture."
In this episode, Shane Meyer-Holt joins me for the final episode of 2023. This episode is an unplanned departure from our series on experience and comes after an unexpected hiatus with the podcast too. In this personal, raw, and wandering conversation, we talk through why we’ve not had an episode out in the past couple of months amidst the complexity of life and the presence of suffering and profound challenge. We also talk through the demands of hustle culture and how we care for each other in a world shaped by the internalised social and economic assumptions of what matters. And we use this to springboard into a conversation about our friendship, about how Shane and I have been present to one another through various crises and contrasting experiences of pain. This then connects to how vulnerability and empathy have shaped both the contours of our friendship, as well as becoming the central paradigm for our theology and spirituality.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
P O D C A S T E P I S O D E 8 6
"Experiencing God (or not) - then and now."
In this conversation, Shane and I discuss the paradigms for experiencing God we used to hold and the theological shape of those paradigms. This led to a lot of energy being expended in trying to create the right conditions for 'experience', and an unspoken set of 'signs' that these experiences were being had - something that created a set of problems that we both found problematic in our life and spirituality. We then explore the ways we think about God now, how we see the God-world relationship, and what this means for how we may or may not experience the divine in the present. Finally, we undo some of this good work by throwing a spanner in the works - which means we'll need a follow-up episode to deal with all of that!
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
In the Shift Episode 85: (Un)Certain: Stories of Deconstruction with Olivia Jackson
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"(Un)Certain: Stories of Deconstruction with Olivia Jackson"
Olivia Jackson is the researcher and author of the recently published book, "(Un)Certain: A Collective Memoir of Deconstructing Faith". In this book, Olivia draws together insights and themes from more than 140 interviews of people from around the world whose Christian faith has gone through a process of deconstruction. The range of experiences, stories and reflections from "regular people" (i.e. people without large churches, book deals, social media followings, or other forms of power) offers a sense of solidarity for those who may have felt isolated, confused and alone or simply curious about their own experience and how it is or is not reflected in the experiences of others. Olivia is able to draw out a number of themes from the wide range of stories, and reflect on the commonalities (among the many differences). In this conversation we talk about her own journey of faith, the pain of deconstruction and the unravelling of certainty, the variety of causes for a shifting faith, and reflect on what this can offer those who have experienced (or are experiencing) a process of deconstruction, or who want to understand the experiences of those who have.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
You can find Olivia's book here: https://scmpress.hymnsam.co.uk/books/9780334063636/uncertain
Contact In the Shift: [email protected]
Support In the Shift: www.patreon.com/intheshift
Episode 84: In this second conversation on the complicated world of ‘experiencing God’, we explore the ways in which all experience is mediated, and so the meaning is thereby a matter (to some degree) of interpretation. We examine the role that suggestibility plays in certain forms of experience, and chat about the unhelpful ideas of ‘spiritual hunger’ or ‘desperation/expectation’ as keys to divine presence, and whether particular songs are ‘anointed’. We also reflect on the ways we think about the relationship between God and us/world. Does God withhold divine presence and love for some kind of ‘greater good’, and if so, what does this say about God?
Also, I should point out that I chose this particular clip for the promo mostly because it features Shane singing, which I know he’ll love.
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"Experiencing God - Interpretation, suggestibility, and the harm of a withholding God"
Episode 84: In this second conversation on the complicated world of 'experiencing God', we explore the ways in which all experience is mediated, and so the meaning is thereby a matter (to some degree) of interpretation. We examine the role that suggestibility plays in certain forms of experience, and chat about the unhelpful ideas of 'spiritual hunger' or 'desperation/expectation' as keys to divine presence, and whether particular songs are 'anointed'. We also reflect on the ways we think about the relationship between God and us/world. Does God withhold divine presence and love for some kind of 'greater good', and if so, what does this say about God?
Also, I should point out that I chose this particular clip for the promo mostly because it features Shane singing, which I know he'll love.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
Episode 83! In this conversation with Shane Meyer-Holt we dive into the complicated world of understanding experiences of God. For some, particular kinds of experiences with God are central to their spirituality, to feelings of closeness with God, to a sense of meaning and purpose. And yet for others, the attempt to impose certain forms of experience have resulted in harm and even trauma. Some have never ‘felt’ what they’ve been told they’re supposed to feel, have never sensed God in the way that those around them are apparently sensing God. Does this mean it is all pretence, or am I simply being ignored by God?
For many, this just ends up as a very confusing jumble - we might have had meaningful experiences but no longer know what to make of them, or we may have had a mixture of positive and negative experiences and now we’re left wondering if any of it was real at all. So this episode is the beginning of a series of conversations trying to unpick all of this and see if we can make some sense of it.
In the Shift episode 82
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"Dr Karen O'Donnell - Trauma-informed theology and post-traumatic remaking"
Dr Karen O'Donnell is a specialist in theology and trauma. In this conversation we explore the nature of trauma and, in particular, we reflect on spiritual trauma and abuse and the ruptures it can cause to the embodied person. The field of trauma theology seeks to take the experience of trauma as a starting point for theological reflection - both in terms of critiquing the ways in which theological beliefs can cause harm, and also in terms of constructing theologies that can create room for what she calls 'post-traumatic remaking'. This conversation moves from grappling with the large scope of these ideas, to talking about the personal and very real experiences of trauma and how they impact us. Karen shares from her own experiences of grief and loss as we discuss how the theology, practices, prayers and worship of the church can either be a contributor toward harm (or even the cause of), or can help cultivate safe and nurturing communities within which we are able to rebuild a new self.
Please note as a trigger warning, this conversation includes references to various causes of trauma, including pregnancy loss, sexual assault and abuse, violence and spiritual abuse.
Karen is the author of several publications including Broken Bodies: The Eucharist, Mary and the Body in Trauma Theology and The Dark Womb: Re-Conceiving Theology Through Reproductive Loss. You can find her on twitter: @kmrodonnell
Get in touch with In the Shift via email: [email protected]
Support In the Shift: www.patreon.com/intheshift
Episode 81: Marc Fennell is the force behind the new SBS documentary, "The Kingdom". It is a doco that explores the rise and fall of Hillsong Church in Australia (and around the globe), but that also asks harder and more nuanced questions of the wider pentecostal megachurch systems and structures that have grown so rapidly in recent decades. This form of Christianity clearly appeals so deeply to so many, and yet can also grow on the back of coercion and abuse of power that often leads to burn out, spiritual trauma, and to many thousands of unsaid, unheard stories of pain, dislocation and harm. In this conversation we talk with Marc about his approach and hopes for the doco, about his own story of growing up in these kinds of churches, the good, the bad, the ugly... and the kinds of hard questions that the new emerging churches should be asking of themselves (and that participants should be asking) if there is going to be a healthier future ahead.You can get in touch: [email protected]: www.patreon.com/intheshift
Episode 79: Amanda Pilbrow works in the space of helping support LGBTQIA+ people in the church, as well as working with churches, pastors, ministry leaders and others to go on the journey to become fully affirming churches. She is the facilitator of the website www.alreadyenough.co.nz which is a sorting house for a vast range of resources in relation to this conversation.
In this episode we talk about her journey as a young woman growing up within very conservative traditionalist church systems. We discuss the exclusion of women from ministry and leadership, and the impact this had on her sense of self. And we explore how her journey of processing through this is connected to the ongoing passion she has for the church to change its stance on queer inclusion. Her postgrad research focused on hearing the experiences of LGB Christians in New Zealand, and has deeply informed the way she approaches these conversations.
In the Shift episode 78: Reframing Easter
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“Reframing Easter” (live recording)
This episode is a live recording from an event called "Reframing Easter" held in March of this year. Here I talk through my understanding of how the Easter story fits within the wider historical, cultural, political and religious context of its day. The imperial power of Rome, the backdrop of suffering for the Jewish people, religious leadership and belief being used in the jostling for power, status and control, and the tense and very real potential for a violent revolution. Jesus lives and dies in the midst of this moment - and the meaning of Easter can only really be grappled with in light of what's going on here. Unpacking this story can then help us to make sense of how all of this might still speak to us in the present moment. It helps us to reframe ideas of Jesus' death as "atonement for sin", and to reimagine what "salvation" looks like in contrast to the power, violence and abuse of harmful systems, beliefs and practices.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
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“Flipping the Script”
One of the common themes of our recent conversations has been how churches have been able to co-opt Christian language and ideas and use them to enforce power, to gaslight victims, and to justify their actions as God-approved. This can often leave victims feeling confused, isolated and ashamed.
This episode is a theological exploration of how the language of sin/repentance and blessing/empowerment is used in the biblical narrative in the almost entirely opposite direction to how we see it used in the contemporary church. In the biblical narrative, confrontation of sinners and calls to repentance are directed to those people in positions of power who are abusing that power. And the language of empowerment/blessing is directed at those who have been harmed, marginalised, abused and mistreated. Ironically (and sadly) in the church, those with power often claim the language of empowerment and blessing, and the language of sin/repentance is directed at those who are already vulnerable.
This episode tracks the competing imperial and prophetic trajectories of the biblical story, and how the words of Jesus (and Paul) must be understood within this wider context.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
In the Shift episode 76: Sons and Servants: A case study in religious conditioning
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‘Sons and Servants’: A case study in religious conditioning
Shane Meyer-Holt returns to the podcast, and this time he brings his church notebook from the nineties! One of the things we’ve heard a lot over the past year is “how can people stay in these toxic communities for so long?” or even more troubling can be the question “why did I stay so long?”. We explore an old sermon by a charismatic American preacher we both heard when we were young and use it as a case study in how religious language can be used to condition people to a coercive system. This sermon - titled “Sons and Servants” - is a perfect microcosm of the journey over time for many folks; from a seemingly admirable desire to “do something for God”, through to a loss of boundaries, a dissolving of the self and an internalisation of authoritative voices that become the internal critic that we carry with us everywhere.
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift
In the Shift episode 75: Mega-close to home
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"Mega-close to home"
In the first episode of 2023, I (Michael) spend some time reflecting on the stories of the past year but in particular on the most recently published article by journalist David Farrier about church harm and toxicity in more NZ megachurches - a story that prominently features the church in which I spent around 13 years of my life - both as a participant, and also on staff for around 8 years. In this episode I unpack as honestly as I can the feelings that come up in this whole conversation, about what it feels like to speak publicly about a community that I once helped to build, about the long-term relational impact, and about why I think we need to hold people and communities/systems to account - especially when they are closer to us. All of this feeds into some reflections on why it continues to be so muddled and conflicted for so many people, why it's so hard for members to leave and/or move on, and why it's the inability to hear, empathise, listen and learn that become the most problematic features of these organisations.
Listen via Spotify, Apple podcasts, Podbean or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen at www.intheshift.com
Get in touch via email: [email protected]
Support via Patreon: www.patreon.com/intheshift
In the Shift ep 74 - Q & A
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"Q & A on unravelling, changing church systems, and why we’re still Christian."
Carly Lahana and Shane Meyer-Holt are back for another round of Q & A! In this episode we respond to a range of listener questions on faith deconstruction, personal spirituality, church structures and systems, and some practical questions about what is possible in church life. These questions include:
- What do you do when all your beliefs start to unravel?
- How not to become "bitter"?
- What are some blind spots in the deconstructing community?
- Why are we still Christian? (why not just leave it all behind?)
- Do we still need church?
- How does the church move forward when it is overwhelmingly led by old white men?
- How is talk about money abused in the church, and is tithing biblical?
- Is there still room for quality, creativity, music and production in the church?
Listen wherever you find your podcasts.
Contact: [email protected]
Support: www.patreon.com/intheshift