The Fine Young Gents (as we know them today) were founded by the last remaining lord of Gentdom, Slim Delgado. In his last days on earth he trekked the globe searching for the earth's mightiest warriors to form the ranks of the new Fine Young Gents, who would then take part in an epic quest for glory. Unfortunately he died before he could explain what the quest actually was, however we do know the
history of each Gen. These are their stories:
Ben (Russian Smuggler, Piano/guitar)-
Ben started life in the late 1940's on the streets of Moscow. As a young boy he could never find enough food to eat, or any long lasting work. This all changed, however, when he made the acquaintance of Jaquies Lestradio, the proprietor of an 'adult' club. For the next thirty-seven years Ben made his living as a professional pole dance, it was here that he mastered the art of Judo and Piano. It was, however, a lonely existence for him, and as he danced more and more Ben began to realize that the plethora of foreign businessmen who told him that they loved him were just a shallow attempt to fill the whole left by Nikolai Vodka, Ben's pet cat and former lover who left him eleven winters ago. It was then, in the summer of 1983, that Ben decided to make a clean break from his life as a stripper and went on the run. Ben resurfaced 11 years later working as a smuggler out of the city of New Munichsyzi. He was the leader of the ruthless Black Anorexia gang, who smuggled guitars and foreign flora, as well as certain specialty dish soaps. Ben found his forte in this cutthroat business, using his mastery of the acoustic guitar and sword to cut a bloody swath through eastern Europe. It was in the summer of 2012 that Ben's life would be changed forever once again. One day, while moving a particularity purple crate, he noticed the sounds of light breathing inside. Ben quickly broke the create open with a large candy cane, and discovered Slim Delgado inside. At first, Ben had planned to kill Slim, but so convincing was the man's tale of heroes and gents that Ben's heart was moved. He would use his skills as a pianist and judo expert to help the Fine Young Gent's, in any way they needed. Sam (Lion Tamer, Piano)-
Sam was born in the year 1776 to a clan of practicing druids. Here he enjoyed an idealistic childhood, and made friends with much of the local fauna. It was of course inevitable that tragedy would strike this poor boy's idealistic youth, and in 1832 it did. One day, while out frolicking with his pet mushroom, Alphie, Sam discovered the remains of an ancient artifact called the mirror or death. Thinking the name to be mere rhetoric, Sam decided to show the mirror to each of his clan members. Unfortunately the first of his clan mates to see the mirror died instantly. Sam was dismayed by this turn of events, but not totally disheartened. He decided to show the mirror to another friend and was met with similar results. It was only after Sam's entire clan lay dead in front of the mirror that he decided the artifact was probably dangerous. In an attempt to protect the rest of civilization from this instrument of evil he decided to smash the mirror. This caused a temporal shift, killing the entire population of the land. Many historians believe that Samuel died that day, and we too would believe it, except for evidence suggesting that he resurfaced as a lion tamer some years later in the southern Arabic peninsula. The first confirmed sighting of Samuel after the catastrophe was at “Mr Fandangos Circus of death”, circa 1942. At this point Sam was working as a lion tamer/key board for the circus. His act consisted of standing atop a lion while playing fur elise and singing an off key rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds – a song that wouldn't be written for another twenty-odd years. In mid-august, 2012, Samuel was approached before the show by an adoring fan named Slim Delgado. At first, Sam refused to sign the autograph, but the man insisted. Believing this to be a normal piece of paper, Sam did so, and then went on to perform his eight best show since he played the Superbowl in 1964. It was only later that Sam learned that the paper was actually a binding contract, forcing him to serve the Fine Young Gents until the day he died; and so Samuel tearfully said goodbye to his life at the circus and his pet iguana -Tibial- and went with Slim Delgado to begin life anew as a Fine Young Gent. Garrett (Super Spy, Drums/backing vocals)-
Garrett was actually born under the name Eldrid Johnson in 1982, and was raised by a family in a small Argentinian village after his real parents had died from black mamba poisoning. There he learned the ancient art of tribal drumming. Sadly for Garrett, he could never achieve his life's wildest ambition of creating a perfect square. As early as 1973, he was attempting to devise a square that was exactly symmetrical, down to the nanometer, but each time he tried to create that level of squarey goodness he failed -as the Argentinians had yet to go metric. In a rage Garrett killed the entire population of his village with a particularly aggressive drum solo. When he realized what he had done Garrett swore to devote his life to the good of the world. To that end he joined the secret service. After joining the secret service Garrett was stripped of everything; his drums, his pet mouse Todo, even his name was taken from him. The secret service started calling him agent Garrett, as he had been originally recruited standing next to a sign bearing the word -and they forgot to ask him what his name was. In the coming years agent Garrett devoted his time to being a super spy. He has saved the world a total of eleven times, three of which inspired James Bond movies. (Gold Finger, the Spy who loved me, and Die Another Day respectively). Garrett's life working as a super-spy was a lonely one however, he missed Todo and the village that he grew up in, but worst of all he missed miso soup- the Japanese delicacy that he was forbidden to eat. It was then, one night in the winter of 1993, that Garrett swore to one day break out of the super-spy life style and become a force for good. In the year 2012 Garrett's wish would finally be answered. The last known member of the ancient organization, FYG, named Slim Delgado had decided that the first place he should look for an elite warrior was at the secret service. At first, the organization was reluctant to give up their most prized agent, but Slim invoked the rite of conscription; and thus forced them to give Garrett over. As Garrett walked away he smiled, knowing soon he would enjoy miso soup and a drum solo again. Nora (Time Agent, Base/Kazoo)-
Nora was born in the year 2076 to an elderly woman by the name of Grandma Ozoco. (Her first name was actually Grandma) As Nora lived in the future, she had a fairly boring life. Emperor Gore had declared world peace years ago, and everyone was nice to each other because intolerance was so under evolved. Everyone except for Nora, who craved excitement, action, and at least twice weekly manicures. In the year 2101 she had had enough with the future and decided to invent a time machine. Once she realized that time travel was impossible due to the laws of causality she decided to invent an interdimention time machine, allowing her to enter a parallel universe, our universe. Nora landed in the year 2004, and quickly realized that the world was a much more terrible place than the future that she had come from. On her first day here she was mugged at comb-point, and was force to relinquish her time machine by a turtle-necked bandito. (A few years later, that technology would be used to invent the first smart phones.) Disheartened, but not defeated, Nora decided to hunt down her only living relative, Grandma Ozoco, who she then lived with for the next seven years, of course Grandma Ozoco was only four at the time, but time travel's a bitch. In the year 2012 Nora was sitting in a park, making trees catch fire with her future-beam. She hadn't realized that life would be just as boring in the 21st century as it was in the 22nd, and so she sat there wondering what to do with herself. It was then that she was approached by a man, slightly on fire, by the name of Slim Delgado. He told her of a way that her life could be made interesting again, and that was if she became a Fine Young Gent. (The term Gent has been gender non-specific since the 1980's) Immediately seeing a chance for entertainment Nora jumped at the opportunity; making her one of the last Fine Young Gents.
