Inspired Marriage

26/12/2024

Reflecting on 17 Years of Sobriety: A Marriage Built on Faith and Redemption

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/reflecting-on-17-years-of-sobriety-a-marriage-built-on-faith-and-redemption/

25/12/2024

Merry Christmas Everyone!

25/11/2024

The Silent Mistress: How Scrolling Is Stealing Marriages

We’ve all been there—lost in mindless reels, while precious moments with our spouse slip away. Scrolling has become the silent mistress in too many marriages, robbing us of connection, intimacy, and communication.

If you feel like scrolling is pulling you apart, check out my latest article. Let’s fight for stronger marriages together. ❤️

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/the-silent-mistress-how-scrolling-is-stealing-marriages/

25/11/2024

Trusting God & Loving Recklessly: A Journey of Faith and Marriage

Marriage isn’t always easy. There are moments when doors seem closed, prayers feel unanswered, and God’s voice feels distant. But what if those very moments are when He’s working in the most powerful ways?

In my latest article, Trusting God & Loving Recklessly, I share the story of how Sandy and I navigated tough seasons in our marriage—times when it felt like we were stuck, uncertain, or even questioning our purpose. But through it all, we learned to trust God’s timing, love recklessly, and believe that even in the waiting, God was doing His best work.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected or unsure in your relationship, this article is for you. Check it out and be encouraged to keep loving boldly and trusting that God is with you every step of the way. 🙏❤️

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/trusting-god-loving-recklessly/

24/11/2024

💔 Is your marriage feeling stuck? 💖

We all go through seasons of struggle, but the good news is healing and renewal are possible. In my latest article, I share the lessons Sandy and I learned during one of the most challenging seasons of our marriage. These are the same steps that transformed our relationship into something stronger, deeper, and more united than ever before.

✨ Why read this?

If you’re feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or just need a little hope, this article will give you practical steps to reignite the bond with your spouse. It’s filled with encouragement, actionable advice, and faith-based inspiration to help you move from struggle to strength in your marriage.

👉 Read it now and take the first step toward a stronger, more inspired marriage.

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/from-struggle-to-strength-steps-to-renew-your-marriage/

Let’s grow together! 🌱

23/11/2024

Healing Together: From Brokenness to Beauty in Marriage
Marriage is a journey, and sometimes the road is rough. In my latest article, I share the powerful story of how God used my relationship with Sandy to heal both of us, despite the challenges we faced in the early years of our marriage.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling broken, unworthy, or trapped in cycles of blame, this article is for you. I open up about my journey through addiction, pain, and how we navigated the healing process together, trusting God every step of the way.

Why should you read this?

-If you feel like your marriage is stuck, this story offers hope.

-If you’ve ever struggled with personal pain or addiction, you’ll find encouragement.

-If you want to understand how love, grace, and faith can rebuild what’s broken, this article will inspire you.

It’s time to stop blaming and start healing—together. Read more about how we overcame the tough years and discovered the beauty of a God-centered marriage.

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/healing-together-from-brokenness-to-beauty-in-marriage/

23/11/2024

Guarding Your Heart: Protecting Your Marriage From Within

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/guarding-your-heart-protecting-your-marriage-from-within/

22/11/2024

The Power of Shared Passion in Marriage: Transforming Lives Together

https://www.inspiredmarriage.com/the-power-of-shared-passion-in-marriage-transforming-lives-together/

29/10/2024

I regret not keeping up with the marriage articles I used to write. By now, I’d have well over a thousand! Life just got in the way, and I let that sidetrack me from God’s main purpose for our marriage.

So now I’m diving back into those older articles, reworking some of them to make sense for where we are today.

Writing has always been a passion for me. I even wrote one or two marriage pieces each month for a magazine, though it’s no longer in publication.

We’re finally planning to launch the Inspired Marriage podcast in February. I may share the details about why we haven’t launched until now as we go along.

Right now, I’m trying to organize everything because in 2025, I want to be sharing our marriage addiction story on 5–10 stages. And I’ll also have the Inspired Marriage book completed in 2025. I’ve actually started rewriting it. I had around 10–15k words already, but I decided to start fresh. I recently finished the outline, introduction, and chapter layout, so I’m ready to dive into the heart of the book. This book will weave our story into a framework for building and sustaining passion, love, and purpose in marriage.

I know this foundation should have been laid down a long time ago, but better late than never, right?

As I get older, I’m more aware that I’ve lived more years than I have left at 53. None of us know how much time we’ve got, but we do know it’s limited. I never wanted to just live life—I wanted to live with purpose, to live a life that God uses to touch other marriages.

I’ve known since we got married 22 years ago that God would lead us into a marriage ministry. I just never knew what form it would take. Even with that calling, I almost destroyed everything in the middle of my own addictions.

Over the years, I’ve often sensed when something wasn’t right with other couples. I’d tell Sandy, and sure enough, I’d be right every time. I’m not sure why God gave me that gift, but to be honest, I almost hate it; I’m always hoping I’m wrong.

One of our greatest strengths is that Sandy and I discuss everything—everything! It’s a big part of what keeps us strong.

As I write the Inspired Marriage book, I’m praying for the Holy Spirit to guide my words so they say what needs to be said. I’m hoping I’ll stay tuned into those promptings, just as I have over the years

29/10/2024

The Power of Labels in Marriage: How Are You Defining Your Spouse?

Some may think, “I haven’t labeled my spouse,” but let’s be honest – we all do it to some extent. Labels can slip into our relationships without us even realizing it. And whether the label is positive or negative, once it’s there, it affects the way we see our spouse. When those labels s...

28/10/2024

More arguments in marriage are caused by tone of conversation rather than content of conversation!

22/10/2024

Parents remember, your kids have a front row seat to your marriage. They will view marriage through your eyes!

21/10/2024

When faith leads the way in marriage, Passion flourishes, Love deepens, and Purpose transforms ordinary moments into extraordinary memories

20/10/2024

Reigniting the Fire in Your Marriage

Can You Feel It? If you’ve been married for a while, chances are you’ve felt it: the drift, the quiet moments that don’t quite feel the same, the subtle shift from passion to routine. Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it’s also full of seasons. And while it’s easy to celebrate the highs...

10/08/2024

Here is an article I wrote 6 years ago called "Reckless Love in Marriage". This article got me on a podcast because of it.
https://wp.me/paDJHB-qA

10/08/2024

Anyone who knows Sandy and me for any length of time knows our passion and purpose for God is marriage. God has even confirmed this through several friends over the years.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve already allowed that door to close—the door to speak and tell our story on stages for God.

I truly believe this was meant to be our purpose for our marriage, and I also believe that God can take a purpose away if you never pursue it. Some may disagree with that second part, and maybe I am wrong.

Either way, throughout our nearly 22 years of marriage, we have invested over 10,000 hours in studying marriage through books, audios, sermons, study groups, conferences, etc.

At one point in our marriage, we were listening to 4-5 hours a week of audios focused solely on marriage. That didn’t include other audios outside of that as well.

To be honest, in the last 2-4 years, I have focused on everything except that mission. I guess part of me has been so scared that I’d rather push it aside until it’s too late, but the problem with that is it’s eating me up inside.

I mean, I believe God brought us together. I believe He used Sandy to help heal me through 19 years of addictions. I believe God gave me the name “Inspired Marriage” because of the passion we’ve always had for each other.

I also believe He kept Galatians 6:9 deep inside my heart because He knew it would take me YEARS to build this ministry.

As I study the Bible more and more, I realize that from David to Joseph, many years passed from the point where God revealed their vision to the time they actually walked in it. They had to go through a lot in between.

The "in-between" is the hardest because you have to have pure faith in the middle of all that. You believe it will happen, but you don’t always see the result.

One of my most often-repeated lines is, "Marry the process, divorce the results." But as you know, that’s easier to say than to actually live out.

I have a lot of praying to do, a lot of thinking to do because this aches inside of me. I don’t want to be on my deathbed saying I wish I had followed God’s plan like I knew I was supposed to.

In 2018, I got to speak 5 or 6 times in front of people. I thought that was it; God was opening that door for the next phase of my life, but then I backed away.

All I’ve ever wanted was to read, write, and speak on marriage. God placed that inside of me the day He healed me on December 26th, 2007.

I remember hearing a pastor say, “What deep down bothers you? If you figure that out, you’ll be on your way to figuring out where God is leading you.”

Watching couples fall apart deeply bothers me. It’s hard for me to watch TV couples fight and all that. It’s hard for me to hear a couple fight. I cringe because I know that’s not what God wants, and that’s also not what either of them wants.

Sometimes it’s just small things that need to be tweaked in a marriage, and other times the couple may need a therapist, or anything in between.

We have a heck of a story, and so many have told me they could see our story in film. That would be cool, but to be honest, I just want our story to inspire other couples to find the way God is calling them—to find those little details within their marriage that will make all the difference.

One reason I am posting this is so that I have a record of this moment for one year from now when I look at my Facebook memories. Another reason is to show people that your mission and purpose from God won’t come easy. You’ll have to fight for it. Remember, He wants the full credit, so if it came super easy, could you really call it His calling?

09/08/2024

THE MOMENT OUR MARRIAGE CHANGED!

We are approaching 22 years of marriage on October 5th, 2024. In these nearly 22 years, there was a moment that I truly believe saved our marriage. We've had a few moments like this, and we are grateful to God for the healing of our relationship.

As many of you know, I struggled with addictions for 19 years until God healed me almost 17 years ago on December 26th, 2007.

The first five years of our marriage were extremely difficult for my amazing wife due to my addictions. I believe one of the things that kept Sandy with me during those tough times, not knowing if I would ever change, was that we both truly believed God brought us together for a reason.

Fast forward to 2010. I had been sober for a few years. We were back in church and growing. I was healing immensely, and God was working on my heart like never before. We were even watching several marriage sermons and videos each week to strengthen our marriage.

Despite all of this, I felt like something was still missing within our marriage. We had always shared an amazing passion from the day we first met online. Even through the addictions, our passion remained strong on my sober days. But since I had gotten sober, I felt like that spark wasn't as solid as it had always been. We were just going through the motions.

I began to look inward even more to try and figure this out. I believe this is the point where people either grow together or grow apart because many see the spark fading and think that’s normal. But that has never been normal in our marriage, so I had to figure out why.

As we continued to learn more about marriage, I started to realize that although I was healing, I had never given Sandy a chance to heal from the damage I had caused in her heart. Being the shy one, she wasn’t just going to say, “Yes, I am still hurting,” especially after she had prayed all those years for God to help me stop using drugs and alcohol. I think she felt she should just be thankful for the healing God had done in me, but He wasn’t done yet, and she didn’t realize it.

So one day in 2010, I sat Sandy down and asked her a couple of marriage-changing questions. First, I asked her to tell me everything I put her through during those early years of our marriage due to my addictions. I also asked her to share what she was feeling during those times.

She immediately asked me, “Are you sure you want to know?”

My first thought was, “I think so,” but I also knew she needed this to start her healing process. God was already working on me, and I needed her to know that I understood. I knew what I did, and I was sorry for it. But to truly apologize, I had to understand what happened and how she truly felt.

As she started telling me everything, I was blown away. To be honest, I was surprised she stuck around long enough for us to reach this point. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I never physically cheated on her and never laid my hands on her, but I did cross many lines in those early years.

When she finished, I told her I was so sorry for all of it and thanked her for being so honest. Hearing everything she said was like a punch to my ego. She was in tears as she recounted everything.

I will never forget that moment, and I know it changed our marriage! That was the moment we both began healing together, bringing us to almost 22 years of marriage now.

I’m writing this because I know many couples find themselves in similar situations. I have seen many go through some of the things we have but end up with different results. Many times, it's ego and pride that prevent a marriage from growing deeper.

For example, one spouse might almost destroy the marriage. Then, he or she completely changes, and although the other spouse seems happy, resentment begins to build. They feel like they put up with that pain for 2, 5, or 10 years, and now that their partner has changed, they wonder why they should fully forgive. They think forgiveness cancels out what happened, but that’s not true.

Sandy could have felt that way, but I believe that by swallowing my ego and pride when I did, it gave Sandy a chance to vent everything I had done. It provided an outlet for everything she had been holding inside.

If I hadn’t tried to understand what I put her through, we probably would have ended up like many couples, with our love fading as she kept all that bottled up.

Because of both of us, God was able to heal our hearts through that heavy conversation, and it wasn’t long after that our spark reignited.

I hope if you’ve read this far, you’ve gotten something out of it because when both people swallow their egos and truly listen to each other, God can heal anything!

Ask God to come into your marriage. Ask Him if your heart is pure, and if not, to heal it. Ask Him if you need to do what was discussed in this article. Ask Him to build a solid foundation between the two of you. And ask Him for forgiveness for your part in your marriage!

Now, go do the right thing and change the direction of your marriage! Always remember, just because you think the two of you are healed doesn’t mean you are. Talk about these kinds of things with your spouse!

Inspired Marriage

09/08/2024

Is Personal Development Affecting Your Marriage? Inspired Marriage

As you read this title, you probably have many things going through your head. You may even think you know what I am about to say and how it affects your marriage in a good way, but you are actually wrong in my opinion. Let me explain what I mean. First, a disclaimer: I 100% believe in personal deve...