15/06/2024
Precisely.
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It's not clutter... it's a three-dimensional archival system, best left to knowledgeable hands.
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Life’s inconvenient truths, served on a platter of dry humor with a side of optimism’s leftovers.
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13/06/2024
What would you tell your younger self? Mine - It's okay to let go of that shirt. It doesn't picture well.
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Adulting: the art of looking back at your younger self and whispering, 'You had no idea.'
10/06/2024
Enjoy.
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Life's favorite hobby: proving you wrong.
03/06/2024
Betting on my back - that sucker is a regular Judas. Good morning ☕
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Ah, morning... the thrill of discovering which part of my body has randomly decided to betray me overnight.
01/06/2024
Absolutely.
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You are capable of amazing things... statistically, you will likely give up. But, yes, it's 'possible.'
30/05/2024
Winning.
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Welcome to adulthood, where your dreams come with an interest rate and your student loan payments last longer than most of your relationships.
27/05/2024
True.
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Ah, life. Where success is simply the art of disguising your failures as character-building experiences.
23/05/2024
Absolutely. Like a nice Époisses de Bourgogne.
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Why age gracefully when you can age like an old cheese... full of character and slightly offensive.
21/05/2024
Accurate. 🎯
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They call it 'midlife' because 'slightly-used life with some mileage' didn't sound as appealing.
18/05/2024
Agreed.
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Trust your instincts... because who needs rational thinking?
16/05/2024
Affirmative.
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Impulsiveness: making life exciting one regrettable decision at a time.
12/05/2024
Like fine-tuning sarcasm or binge-watching a show - fancy.
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They say life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger... in reality, you don't actually get stronger, your coping mechanisms just get fancier.
07/05/2024
Affirmative. 🎯
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Choosing the steep path builds endurance; choosing the path of least resistance builds joy.
03/05/2024
Find your inner Shakespeare in the slow lane 🖋
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Traffic: turning the most prosaic commuters into poets of profanity.
30/04/2024
Absolutely 👍
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Dress for success; it'll distract them from your glaring lack of qualifications.
30/04/2024
Should lull you right to sleep... 🧠
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Sleep well... or spend the night reliving past conversations and perfecting comebacks you'll never use. Equally refreshing.
26/04/2024
Absolutely. 🎯
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Passive-aggressiveness: when you can’t afford a therapist, but you have a Twitter account.
25/04/2024
Correct.
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It's not disorganization... it's simply redefining the chaos theory in practical terms.
24/04/2024
Good morning. ☕
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21/04/2024
Invading personal space so efficiently, you'd think they were land developers.
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Close talkers: because apparently, they need to feel your breath to hear your words.
20/04/2024
Some days it's like the mind is preparing for the witness protection program.
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It's not forgetfulness, it's practicing plausible deniability on a personal level... well played.
18/04/2024
Handed out like spray cheese on crackers at a wholesale club.
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Life: relentlessly handing out responsibilities like free samples of exhaustion.
17/04/2024
It's like Miracle-Gro, but for problems we're not even sure exist.
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Worrying: because why face your problems when you can just grow them in your imagination?
16/04/2024
The placebo effect in action. 🏆
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The best is yet to come... just kidding.
15/04/2024
True.
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You can be anything you want to be, within the limited range of options your circumstances allow.
14/04/2024
Affirmative.
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Life’s like a relentless wave that doesn’t just knock you down—it holds you under just to see how long you can hold your breath... good times.
12/04/2024
Absolutely.
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Dream big—worst case, you'll have fantastic stories for your therapist.
11/04/2024
Effective tactic. Introvert's playbook.
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Oversharing: Ensuring your presence is a contraceptive against further invitations… use liberally!
09/04/2024
Storytime: Once upon a time, I was at a get-together, and someone asked me what country I wanted to visit and I replied very confidently "Africa". As soon as the word left my mouth I melted into my chair. I was the idiot. The look on their face when I said it is forever seared in my memory.
Hasn't happened to you yet? Don't worry, you'll get your chance.
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'Be yourself’ is great advice until you realize you’re an idiot.
08/04/2024
Isn't that the truth.
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Unsolicited advice: Like a verbal colonoscopy, invasive and unwelcome... but hey, at least they 'care', right? So sweet
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