The History of China Podcast

24/05/2024

As below, so above...

Chinese afterlife be like:

23/05/2024

In court at E'Pang Palace having the time of my life with my fellow ministers admiring this amazing new horse Zhao Gao just gave to Qin Er Shi. They're all just out of frame, agreeing it's definitely a horse, too.

18/05/2024

1246, outside Karakorum - Giovanni da Pian del Carpine to Güyük Khaghan - vamping the hell out of Pope Innocent IV's letter "explaining" Catholicism and the Triune God and why it's "bad" to slaughter Christians:

18/05/2024

#270 - Qing 14: From Russia, Rome, and Ningxia With Love

Russians, and Jesuits, and Mongols, and Tibetans... oh my!

07/05/2024

"well, that sure escalated quickly..."

02/05/2024

Player-Hater of the Century.

They had to bury his ass alive to stop his bitch-ass from hatin'.

19/04/2024

#268 - Qing 13: The War of the Three Feudatories

There's an old saying in Yunnan - I know it's in Beijing, probably in Yunnan - it says, betray me once, shame on - shame on you. Betray me - you can't get betrayed again.

15/04/2024

great magazine, any other subscribers?

24/03/2024

17/03/2024

Yassa Detective Columbo, 1218:

"Governor Inalchuq, good day, sir. Oh! I hope I'm not intruding - I know I'm unannounced, and I hate to be a bother. It's just, well, as you know I'm on a case right now, and it's really giving me trouble. I just can't seem to figure it out...
And when I get stuck like this, well, I tend to go riding. My wife actually encourages me - the longer the better, she says! So anyways, as I was saying, I was riding and thinking about this case - lo and behold, I find myself here in Otrar, so I thought I'd stop by.
It occurred to me that it was actually right around here, Otrar, that the Great Khan's caravan went missing. Of course, it's a big desert - but it does seem strange that their last known whereabouts just so happen to be the domain of... well, that'd be you, wouldn't it?

"When we last spoke, I, ah, remember you saying that no one in your province would so much as wipe their nose without your say-so. You were quite proud of that, if memory serves. It really shows just how well you keep your house in order- all in your nephew's name, of course!
Of course, This is all just speculation! Nothing at all linking you directly, I just get strange ideas in my head when I’ve been walking for too long. It’s getting late, & I’ve used up far too much of your precious time with my idle thoughts. I’ll be on my way, take care now...

"Oh, before I go, just one more thing. On my way in, I couldn’t help but see your venerable wives & their fantastic taste in jewelry! Y’know I’ve only ever seen those particular designs & patterns two other places before. The first was way back, about 4 or 5 years ago. That was during the conquest of Jin when we looted Zhongdu.
The only other time I saw those jewels, sir – before just now on your wives, & now that I’m looking carefully, on you, as well – was just before they were loaded onto the caravan that so recently went missing."

15/03/2024

It is the Ides of March!
And you know what that means... that's right... it's

The Shunzhi Emperor's birthday!!
Today he's 386 years young!

Happy birthday, Fulin, you lil' Hongwu-wannabe scamp!

Nothing else important ever happened on March 15th!

14/03/2024

#266 - Qing 11: Shunzhi's Personal Rule

Personal rule moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

08/03/2024

"School Club Day" this afternoon, which I'm not a part of, so it gave me time to get up a new

The message to my students this time: Believe in yourself... from a man who very well may have believed *only* in himself...

24/02/2024

In 1218, in one of the true turning-points of global history, Shah Muhammad of Khwarazm decides to mess with an unknown chieftain from the east, and learns the true definition of FAFO...

23/02/2024

long past time for another whiteboard

16/02/2024

#265 - Qing 10: Zeelandia Has Fallen

Taiwan, kiss your netherlands goodbye...

16/02/2024

“After a 6-month forced march across Asia, we're now on location here in Karakorum, just ahead of Mongke Khan's enthronement. It's backwards pit of barbarism - at least, that's what the Papacy tells us. But the air is clean, & you won't believe what just 1 groat can get you..."

01/02/2024

Huh, how 'bout that.

That's a number

27/01/2024

#264 - Qing 9: Koxinga Attacks!

The penultimate episode on Taiwan's early colonization

21/01/2024

#263 - Qing 8: Lord of the Imperial Surname

The Dutch East India Co.'s the last-man-standing on Taiwan... at least until a certain Ming warlord out of Fujian starts eying their lucrative operations...

12/01/2024

Hello & Welcome to the History of China...

11/01/2024

Two circus clowns crouch before a steppe dung fire, each feasting upon a Mongol warrior.

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got the premise of this joke mixed up."

05/01/2024

The Imperial Censorate impresses upon you the absolute importance of you only looking at the 1st panel....

04/01/2024

The Dynastic Cycle, in a nutshell:

22/12/2023

Santa Guan quickly mounted Rudolf, turned down his mighty glaive, & flew down the hill, his phoenix eyes twinking, his silkworm eyebrows drawn up like a bow & his belly fiercely shaking like a bowlful of jelly.
He made directly for the enemy chimney.

22/12/2023

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
The very next day
You swore to Liu Bei

18/12/2023

Qapla'!

Oh, one more thing, B'Etor, daughter of Dural... I have transmitted an image to you, and know that I have your Bird of Prey locked on in my targeting computer.

I ask you thus:
Is it a Betelgeusian horse, or a Rigellian hyperdeer?

15/12/2023

#262 - Qing 7: Triple-Colonization

The Spanish challenge Dutch operations on "La Isla Hermosa"

27/11/2023

[The average modern fool]: "Wow, ancient Chinese poets were so mysterious and inscrutable. We can't possibly relate to the depth of their art."

[Li Bai, 8th c. Tang poet grandmaster]:

𝘈𝘩 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬! 𝘈 𝘱𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘰’𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦;
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸, 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘻𝘦 – 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴... 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦?

𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘥;
𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦.

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘔𝘦, 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦;
𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘦.

𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴.

24/11/2023