12/12/2014
#2
(This one was sick as f**k)
"Normal P**n For Normal People"
This urban legend starts off with a standard chain letter urging recipients to visit the website “normalpornfornormalpeople.com”, because it was for the “good of mankind.” Naturally, having such an intriguing URL, many decided to check it out. As it turned out, it was a fairly basic web site with a wall of text on the main page. The only thing that stuck out was the site’s tagline: “Normal P**n for Normal People, A Website Dedicated To The Eradication of Abnormal Sexuality.” Apart from that, nothing was of particular interest. Once people visited the site, most would leave after seeing that it was just a bunch of words. However, those who stuck around found out that a lot of the words in the boring text were actually download links to various distressing videos. The shocked people would then gather around on forums and share their experiences, as well as the videos themselves.
One of tamest videos was called “peanut.avi,” which showed a man, a woman, and a dog in a kitchen. The woman would prepare a peanut butter sandwich, which the man would then give it to the dog. This happened for a whole half hour. The videos then quickly took a turn for the worse, with the most bizarre being “jimbo.avi.” Here, an obese mime is seen performing for five minutes. It was somewhat funny, typical mime stuff, but in the last 30 seconds, the man is seen sobbing quietly with his mime outfit and makeup still on.
“Stumps.avi” is a five-minute video of a man with no legs attempting to break dance in a kitchen similar to that shown in “peanut.avi,” but much dirtier. The man collapses in exhaustion, and begs someone off-screen to let him rest. The off-screen person becomes enraged and yells at the man to keep dancing, which he does. As the video ends abruptly, the off-screen person can be heard screaming.
The video “privacy.avi” starts with a woman ma********ng on a mattress while the man with no legs from “stumps.avi” walks around on his hands wearing some kind of goblin mask. What’s unusual about this video is that the door is open, while in the rest it’s closed. This is significant because, near the very end of the video, an animal can be seen quickly running through the hallway.
Finally, “useless.avi” is 18 minutes of pure terror. A blonde woman is tied down and her mouth is taped shut. After the seven-minute mark, a man in a suit opens the door, but doesn’t enter. Instead, the animal that was briefly seen in “privacy.avi” enters. It is revealed to be an abused chimpanzee, with its hair shaved and painted red. The man closes the door behind him, leaving the bound woman alone with the animal. The starved chimpanzee sniffs the air, notices the woman, and immediately begins to maul her alive. The assault goes on for an excruciating seven minutes, until her eventual demise. The video ends with the chimpanzee feasting on the co**se.
-Marcelo Santos
