The Buchanan County Free Press

13/02/2023

Crash Site Peaks Interest Amid Recent Aerial Sightings Across America
- Burl Crowe

The Chinese "Weather Balloon," has caused a considerable amount of concern regarding America's sovereignty over the past week. In addition to this unprecedented incident several other sightings have been reported throughout North America causing political and military leaders in both the U.S. and Canada to sound the alarm.

These same concerns have now reached local authorities and has garnered the attention of media sources as well as foreign governments. Apparently, what is now being called the "sixth event," since the "weather balloon," incident recently took place in Buchanan County.

According to local authorities what is being called a "downed space craft" was discovered in the right hand fork area of Guesses Fork, in the Hurley section of Buchanan County. The craft was discovered late Saturday night by a group of c**n hunters who were out training their dogs. The Buchanan County Sheriffs Department was called to the crash site and upon arrival the deputies discovered that the wreckage had been pillaged and several segments or parts of the vehicle had been removed or consumed in the crash explosion.

"I am pretty sure that the wreckage had been compromised," said a Sheriff's Deputy. "There were several foot prints discovered around the site and based on the crash site it appears that all forms of Copper had been removed from the vehicle as well as other pieces and parts of the machine."

The Buchanan County Sheriff's Office informed the The Buchanan County Free Press that it is illegal to loot, pillage, disturb or compromise a crash site and that those involved are now wanted for felony charges. The crash site has since been quartered off and the FBI has assumed authority over the case. The agent in charge of the investigation, Fox Mulder, said that his partner would be issuing a public statement as soon as the investigation is completed.

09/02/2023

CHINESE SPY BALLOON DISCOVERED IN BUCHANAN COUNTY
by BURL CROWE

A 911 call was placed Monday at approximately 9:30 am into the Buchanan County 911 Dispatcher reporting the sighting of what appeared to be another Chinese Weather (spy) Balloon. The Balloon was sighted near the Compton Mtn. area of Buchanan County. The authorities were dispatched immediately and reconnaissance by Sheriff's deputies began at that point.

According to deputies reports the balloon appeared to be shot down sometime around noon. "We were sitting in the car monitoring the balloon, looked down for a second and when we looked back up we couldn't see it anywhere," said Deputy Parks. The Deputies immediately began driving throughout the neighborhood and soon discovered the balloon entangled in a tree on the farm of local resident and chicken farmer, Sam Drucker.

"When we arrived Mr. Drucker was already in the process of removing the balloon, we warned him that it may not be safe but he kept rambling on about his chickens," said officer Parks. According to the police report Mr. Drucker was adamant that the officers exit his property. "The police had no business on my property, I haven't done anything wrong and unless they've got a warrant, they didn't have any business being on my land."

The officers left the scene and proceeded to the court house where they obtained a warrant for a "disposed Chinese Weather balloon." "When we arrived back to Mr. Druckers farm, the balloon was nowhere to be found," said a spokesman for the Sheriff's Department.

The Buchananan County Free Press reached out to Sam Drucker regarding the incident and he said, "I don't have time to talk about this nonsense with you folks, I've got to get these chicken coops covered with this tarp." The Buchanan County Sheriff's Office is investigating the situation and it is believed that the Federal authorities may get involved.

13/08/2022

BREAKING NEWS

Elon Musk has reportedly made an offer to buy the FBI from the DNC.

Stay Tuned for more.

27/04/2022

27/04/2022

Elon Musk Offers To Buy Slate Creek For $80
-Burl Crowe

Slate Creek, Va.,

The worlds richest man, Elon Musk, just made an offer to purchase the entirety of Slate Creek for $80. According to sources, the mega billionaire has expressed interest in the Slate Creek area of Buchanan County. The Billionaire apparently is interested in using the creek for hydro-electric power which he hopes to power his newest project, a state of the art cyber security center.

Musk, who recently purchased Twitter for 44 Billion dollars appears to be making another power play for total control of Slate Creek. According to a spokesman for Musk, "he is not interested in the housing, or property along the creek, just the creek itself." "Musk plans on creating a dam just above the former J.M. Bevins Elementary school and using that dam to generate hydro-electric power to operate his new cyber security center which will also be housed in the former Elementary school.

Presently, the Buchanan County Board of Supervisors are discussing the access and sale of the J.M. Bevins school property as well as Slate Creek itself. A spokesman for the board said, "this is a good deal, when else are we gonna get an offer like this, I mean $80 is $80, but the long term impact could be huge for our areas development our biggest issue right now is how we will divide the $80 between the seven districts."

The area under consideration would be from the headwaters of Slate Creek to where it flows into the Levisa River. This does have some concerned as many would like to see the Slate Creek area from Mtn. Mission School to Grundy remain property of the town of Grundy.

19/04/2022

Strange Trail Cam Images Haunt Dismal Area of Buchanan
by Burl Crowe

Dismal, Va.

The entire county is buzzing with the discovery of a few trail cam images that were collected in the Dismal River section of Buchanan County. According to brothers Phil and Doug Graves the images were pulled from an SD card that they use in one of their many trail cams along the Dismal River.

The images appear to show what many are calling photographic proof of a Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Wooly Bo**er, type creature in the Dismal area of Buchanan County. 'We were out in the woods on Saturday, checking our trail cams and when we came upon one of the cameras we noticed that it had been tampered with somewhat, after we downloaded the SD card we discovered the strange images," said Phil. This is not the first time the Buchanan County Free Press has reported a bigfoot or other type of creature in the Dismal area (see previous links below). However, this is the first time that we have been given access to photographic evidence.

The Graves brothers reached out to the Buchanan County Sheriff's Office and were happy to know that a full investigation will take place regarding the images. BCFP readers may recall that the Sheriff's department previously hired the A.I.M.E.S crewe to investigate a sighting that took place a couple of years ago. The investigation did not prove the existence of a bigfoot or river creature but it did corroborate several sightings and left the door open to further investigation.

The Buchanan Free Press spoke with some local residents regarding the discovery and this is what they had to say. "I've had said all along that there is something strange in these woods, dogs and cats go missing all the time, strange screams in the night, I hope they get to the bottom of it, those pictures are pretty disturbing," said Bill Loney a lifelong Dismal resident. "I know them fellers saw that thing in the river a while back, not sure if it is the same thing, but those pictures don't leave any doubt, there is something in these woods," said Dilbert Pickles.

This is a developing story and the Buchanan County Free Press will post updates as information becomes available.

19/04/2022

Shack of Sit Coming To Buchanan County
by Burl Crowe

- Grundy, Va.

Doug Schitt and his wife Kathy "Kat," are the newest franchisees of the world famous Schack of Sit franchise and they are proud to announce that the newest location will be here in Buchanan County.

According to the Schiit's the process began nearly one year ago when they visited their first Shack of Sit and "from that moment forward, we knew that we wanted to be owners, " said Doug Schitt. The Shack of Sit is a world renowned franchise specializing in sitting products such as chairs, sofas, bar stools, patio furniture, bean bags and other exotic and hard to find seating products. The franchise currently boasts of having over 240 franchises nationwide with a 98% retention rate amongst owners after five years.

Presently, the Schiit's have hired six full time workers and 2 part-time workers. The family owned franchise is still searching for a secretary/operator to answer the phone and despite interviewing several locals they have yet to find anyone who can wrestle through the stringent requirements of Corporate, which require all operators to repeat the stores name five times correctly before hiring. "The corporate headquarters are pretty strict when it comes to hiring operators for each store, the stores name does create an alliteration problem for many, Schiit's Shack of Sit, isn't easy to say," said Doug Schitt.

According to the Schiit's as soon as they hire a secretary/operator that they will begin negotiating a lease to locate their business in the Grundy area. The Buchanan Free Press reached out to the Franchise headquarters regarding the strict requirements on hiring someone to simply answer the phone and we were told that the company was holding firm to it's hiring practice, "we want every customer experience to be professional and friendly, even when on the phone, this is very important, considering our Franchise name, it is imperative that our operator's get the store name correct" said spokesman Sue Ridge.

31/03/2022

SUPERVISORS TO OPEN PAY FISHING POND(S)
BOARD AMENDS POT HOLE ORDINANCE

Hurley, Va.
-Burl Crowe

A member of the Board of Supervisors is so frustrated with the Virginia Department of Transportation that he is going on the offensive to solve his districts pot hole problem.

In an effort to make the most out of a bad situation an emergency meeting of the Buchanan County Board of Supervisors was called last night. During the meeting a board member requested that the recent Pot Hole ordinance be amended. According to a spokesman for the Board the amendment included the addition of a 4th Category being added to the new county ordinance.

The board voted unanimously to add a 4th Category, which will be titled Pay Ponds. The proposal was met with resounding support from all 7 board members and is expected to be effective immediately.

"After some initial observation we discovered that we had some pot holes that exceeded the Category 3 size and while driving down Paw Paw I saw some kids walking down the road with fishing poles and it hit me, we need somewhere for these kids to fish," said a board member. "We will be utilizing all Category 4 Pot Holes and turning them into pay ponds and the county has agreed to stock these ponds, at present, we are expecting anywhere from six to eight of these pay ponds in each district."

The Buchanan Free Press contacted several board members and asked them what type of fish they would be stocking in their respective ponds. We received a variety of answers, but it appears that blue gill, catfish and trout were among the most popular choices.

The Buchanan County Free Press spoke with several citizens and it appears that the idea to stock the category 4 pot holes is being well received. "If we can't get these pot holes filled, we might as well make the best of a bad situation, I don't know about anyone else, but I am gonna go dig some bait," said local resident Dilbert Pickles.

The decision to categorize all Pot Holes was determined a few days ago during the regular monthly meeting of the Board. (See Related Story)

30/03/2022

Hurley - Va.
-Burl Crowe

POT HOLE PROBLEM RESOLVED BY BOARD MEMBERS

The citizens of Buchanan County will no longer have to wait on the pot hole problem to be resolved. In a recent 7 to 0 vote by the Buchanan Board of Supervisors a growing problem with pot holes could be ending. In a 7-0 vote the board agreed that something needed to be done about the increasingly large and numerous pot holes throughout the county. "With this 7 to 0 vote, we have proven that we have unity on this issue and we are determined to fix the problem with the county roads," said a spokesman for the board.

So, what is the board going to do? According to a spokesman for the board, each pot hole in Buchanan County will begin a numbering process. "We are going to send out county workers to document and log the location of each pot hole in the county." Once these pot holes are logged, mapped and numbered, they will then be assigned to one of three levels. These levels will determine how each pot hole is addressed moving forward.

"We have been studying this for a while and we have come up with a system that we think will best help us resolve our problem," said a spokesman from the Hurley District. The Hurley district seems to have a disproportionate amount of pot holes and the number of complaints far exceed those from other districts. Nonetheless, this is a county wide problem.

The Buchanan County Free Press has learned that once the pot holes are assigned a category that work will immediately begin on resolving the issue. According to Doug Graves the new Director of Pot Hole Maintenance, the following categories will be assigned to the pot holes.

1. Category 1 -Public bathing - These pot holes will remain, however they will be maintained by the county. An equal number will remain in each district and they will be utilized for public bathing. "The size of category 1 Pot holes will differentiate them from Category 2 Pot Holes, these pot holes will be smaller," said Graves.

2. Category 2 - Public Recreation - These pot holes will remain intact and will also be maintained by the new Director as well. "We will utilize these pot holes for public recreation, they will serve each district as a local swimming and recreation facility, we are basically taking a bad situation and meeting a much needed demand in each district and that is the demand for local recreation. In the end, not only are we resolving the problem, we are also creating life guard jobs," said Graves.

3. Category 3 - Public Burial - These pot holes are nothing new as the board simply revisited a former board decision to allow family members to name sections of highway after deceased love ones. The Category 3 Pot Holes will be used for burial, this will allow us to fill in the pot holes while at the same time, honoring loved ones by naming a section of highway after them, although this has not been used to it's full extent, we hope more county citizens will jump on board with this option, not only will it save them money, it will also solve a problem," said Graves.

The Buchanan Free Press spoke with a board member regarding the new proposal and according to them, the project will begin immediately.

PLEASE SEE RELATED STORY FROM
APRIL 18, 2017 - Located on this page.

08/12/2020

LOCAL BUSINESS UNDER PRESSURE TO MODIFY COVID 19 PROTOCOLS
Vansant, Va.
12/8/20 - Burl Crowe

A local business man is irate after authorities from Richmond recently investigated his business for "egregious violations of COVID 19 protocols." Asa Flots, a lifelong business owner in the Vansant area of Buchanan County recently had his business investigated by the health department for COVID related infractions. The Buchanan Free Press was notified on Monday evening of the investigation and we dispatched senior reporter Burl Crowe to investigate the scene.

According to Health Department Official, Harry Pitts, an anonymous tipster issued a complaint regarding the COVID protocols taking place at Asa Flots Variety Junk & What-Not Emporium Store. According to the complaint, Flots was implementing unprecedented methods to follow COVID 19 protocols. The complaint did not specify exactly what those methods were thus causing the health department officials to investigate.

Upon arrival at the store, Mr. Pitts discovered all patrons wearing masks and practicing social distancing, "Mr. Flots even had all of the correct signage up in his store," said Pitts. However, there was one area of concern. "Despite the fact that Mr. Flots does appear to be following all COVID 19 protocols to the letter, his method of acquiring temperatures is a bit unusual," said Pitts.

According to Pitts, Mr. Flots has been conducting a temperature check on all patrons before they enter his place of business, in addition to making them wear a mask and practice social distancing, however, he is using a re**al thermometer to do so. This apparently was the reason for the anonymous tip to the health department.

"Although, it is highly questionable, there is technically nothing wrong with the method of using a re**al thermometer, the state just indicates that businesses are to take temperatures, the method by which they acquire it is not specified" said Pitts.

The Buchanan Free Press sat down with Flots and asked him about the controversial manner in which he was following COVID 19 protocol. "Listen, the state said we had to check temperatures, I went to the Wal Mart and all they had in stock were re**al thermometers, so that's what I bought," said Flots. When we asked Flots if his business had suffered because of this unorthodox method, he replied, "heck no, if anything, I've seen an uptick in business, some folks come in here and shop two and three times a day now!"

The Buchanan Free Press caught a few customers who were willing to be interviewed and we asked them their thoughts about the unorthodox method of collecting temperature data. "I don't see any problem with it, I've been shopping here for thirty years, Asa knows me and my family and I consider him a good friend, it's not gonna keep me from spending my money here, " said Lee Nover a long time patron of the business. "If anything, I shop here more now, I feel safer knowing that Asa goes the extra mile to keep his customers safe, sure it's inconvenient, but if a man wants something bad enough, standing outside with his pants down around his ankles for a few minutes to get his temperature taken is a small inconvenience to get it," said long time patron Kenny Dewitt.

As of Press time the Health Department had not issued any citation and to our knowledge Asa Flots Variety Junk & What-Not Emporium Store is still open for business.

22/07/2020

ORGANIC NAIL FARM OPENS
Davenport, Va.
- Burl Crowe

Peter Stiffley has farmed his entire life, at the ripe old age of 75 he has set out on a new venture and it appears that this one could prove to be very profitable.

Stiffley, recently finished construction on a 2,000 square foot facility on his Council area farm. The structure will serve as the base for his new organic worm farm. Traditional worm farms grow and harvest worms as well as develop excellent potting soil and organic mulch. However, Sttiffley is not starting your average worm farm.

"Well, to be honest, I discovered the process by accident," said Stiffley who is opening the worlds first organic nail farm.Thats right a nail farm, as in hammer and nail.

According to Stiffley, he was out digging for night crawlers and had placed them in a small bucket. After putting some soil in the bucket he sat the bucket down on his bathroom floor and began to prepare for bed. "I placed the bucket on the floor, washed my hands, brushed my teeth, you know the normal night routine and I figured I would pop one of those blue pills, I was feeling somewhat frisky." Well later the next morning, according to Stiffley, when he gathered up the bucket and set out to go fishing he noticed that everyone of the nails were as "stiff as a railroad spike."

Apparently, one or more of the blue pills fell into the bucket and the rest is as they say, history. Stiffley immediately had a brilliant idea and it is that idea that led him to start his organic nail farm.

The Buchanan County Free Press visited the farm this past Saturday and observed the operations. According to Stiffley, he takes a handful of night crawlers and drops them in a bucket of Viagara laced water. Within minutes the earth worms are "stiff as a poker," and ready for nailing. Stiffley demonstrated the incredible dexterity of the nails by building a picnic table right there in his 2,000 square foot facility.

"With all of these folks concerned about the environment and the dangers of stepping on nails, I reckon this here idea can not only save the planet but it might also keep folks from catching lockjaw." The BCFP asked Stiffley if there had been any unforeseen issues with the farm or the process to which he replied, "other than Limpy accidentally turning up one of them buckets and getting a drink the other day, things have went off without a hitch." Reports indicate that Stiffley's lone employee Dave "Limpy," Johnson had to go home early after consuming the water, but returned for the next shift of work.

29/06/2020

County To Purchase Social Distance Security Animals
Grundy, Va.
-Burl Crowe

The Board of Supervisors recently voted 6-1 in favor of purchasing 125 Social Distance Service Animals. The service animals will be issued to any county employee who signs up for the service animal. " Presently, we cannot afford to purchase one for each county employee but we have agreed to purchase 125 of these animals and we will be issuing them on a first come first serve basis," said a board member.

According to the board, these service animals will "assist a large portion of our county employees in their implementation of social distancing." "The animals are trained and each one comes with a 6 foot leash that attaches to the employees belt or belt loop." The lone dissenter on the board cited the cost of feeding the animals as his main objection and reason for casting the lone No vote. " I just dont think we can afford to pay the food bill for these animals moving forward."

The Buchanan County Free Press reached out to LePew Industries and spoke with a company spokesmen regarding the animals. "We provide a well trained animal that is trained to only spray when someone gets within six feet of its handler. These animals have amazing control and accuracy and we guarantee that they will help the county employees maintain social distancing and thusly prevent them from contracting Covid-19."

The Board of Supervisors have agreed to pay $499 for each of these animals bringing the entire project cost to $62,375. The County Officers and each board member will be issued an animal and then the animals will be assigned to other county employees on a first come first serve basis.

21/06/2020

New Swingsets Installed At All Elementary Schools
-Burl Crowe
Grundy, Va

The local school system recently received a donation from a nonprofit organization that provided each county Elementary school with a new set of playground swings. Dale Gribble, a spokesman for PlaySafeAmerica, presented the equipment to the school system last Tuesday and the nonprofit organization installed the swingsets on Thursday at each Elementary school. "We are dedicated to helping rural communities and schools upgrade their playground equipment," said Gribble.

The swingsets,and the installation came at no expense to the county. "We are happy to upgrade equipment or in this case add new equipment, student safety has always been high on our priority list, not to mention, happy, smiling faces," said Gribble.

One of the Elementary school Principals was overheard saying, "we expect the swingsets to be a big hit with the kids."

22/05/2020

School Board To Consider New COVID-19 Rules For Re-Opening

Grundy, Va. - Burl Crowe

The Buchanan County School Board will be voting to accept or decline new recommendations for re-opening school in late August. The new recommendations arrived in a memo from the Governors office on Tuesday from Dr. Soshal Distanz.

According to a school board member, who asked to remain anonymous, the recommendations, if approved would allow school to open "right on schedule in August."

The Buchanan Free Press has received a copy of the new recommendations and we have agreed to publish them in this article, per request of the board member. The list of recommendations are the comprised result of several hours of research recently completed by Richmond experts appointed to a special Governors task force led by Dr. Soshal Distanz

The following recommendations are required in order for school to re-open as normal in August:

1. All classroom desks will be turned and remain upside down to prevent cross contamination of COVID-19 through the touching of desktop surfaces.

2. Students will not be permitted to sneeze inside the school buildings or on the playground while attending school. This will help eliminate transmission of COVID-19. In the event that sneezing becomes a problem, nostril corks (similar to ear plugs) will be provided

3. Clothing is a major transmitter of COVID-19, therefore all students will be required to wear gloves, masks and complete personal protection equipment, plastic face shields can be used in place of safety goggles.

4. All students when transferring from one location to another inside and to and from the building will be instructed to walk backwards, this will direct any airborne pathogens away from the faces of other students.

5. Indoor restroom facilities will be off limits and portable toilets will be utilized outdoors. School systems have the option of constructing permanent on-site outhouses in order to offset the expense of renting toilets.

6. Lunch will be served in the gymnasiums, students will sit on the floor on designated X's, that will meet 6 foot social distancing measures. In the event that a facility does not have a gymnasium or adequate gym space, schools may place X's on the floor in hallways assuming the same social distance guidelines of 6 feet.

7. All meals will be prepared at a remote location and delivered to each facility by school bus drivers, similar to the current food delivery program. Preparing the food at an alternative location will assure food safety, eliminate cross contamination and inconvenience the largest number of persons possible during this pandemic.

8. Since teachers and older adults are more vulnerable to COVID-19, all classroom instruction will take place using chromebooks and iPads. The teachers will remain outside the classroom in a desk placed 6 feet from the door entrance. Currently, the national fire code requires all classroom doors to remain closed, the Governors special task force is asking for a waiver of this rule to better assist teachers in their instruction. *In the event that the waiver is denied, large window size holes with mesh screen will be placed in each classroom door, allowing teachers to instruct their class vetbally.

9. Classwork will be done primarily via the use of digital technology, teachers are encouraged to use computers and iPads instead of paper. When paper assignments are completed they will be immediately graded and then incinerated in a mobile incinerator. The Commonwealth of Virginia is providing a subsidy to help schools purchase mobile on-site incinerators. It is believed that BCPS has already ordered 30.

10. All athletic activities that do not require human interaction or physical contact will be permitted as long as the athletes wear gloves, masks, goggles and personal protective clothing while participating.

11. Bus routes will be modified, students will be placed one student per seat with six seats between each student. This will require multiple bus runs per route, following each run, a complete wash down and decontamination process will take place between runs. This process will include water hose cleaning, drying, lysol spraying of each seat and window, bleach wipe drying of each seat and window and a decontamination smoke bomb will be utilized prior to students boarding the bus.

The Buchanan County Free Press has reached out to several board members regarding their thoughts on the new recommendations from Richmond, but as of Press time, we have not had any responses.

17/03/2020

Contraband Seized By Sheriffs Deputies
Harman, Va. -Burl Crowe

Breaking News Report

Sheriffs deputies have detained a tractor trailer load of illegal contraband near the Virginia and Kentucky state line. According to authorities, the tractor trailer was stopped along route 460 West in the Harman area of Buchanan County this evening.

"The driver of the truck was reluctant to cooperate and at first turned his basset hound, Fred, lose on the deputies," said the Sherriff. "We later discovered an entire trailer load of toilet paper, estimated at 50,000 rolls," said the Sheriff.

Apparently the truck driver had an accomplice running interference for him in a black Pontiac Trans-Am. The Buchanan Sheriffs Office in coordination with Pike County Ky, law enforcement were able to surround the driver a few miles east of the state line following a high speed chase that reached speeds in excess of 120 mph.

Presently, both drivers are incarcerated and the vehicles have been impounded. "This is a unique situation, especially considering the current shortage of toilet paper, this appears to be some type of interstate toilet paper ring and we hope to get to the bottom of things shortly," said a Sherrifs Department spokesman.

In the meantime the basset hound, Fred, is being housed at the Buchanan County Animal Shelter.