Widget

Widget Welcome to Facebook, the worst website on earth! Comedy website based in Hamilton ON Canada. Fart jokes and anti-capitalism. Socialist comedy website.

Maker of the Canadian socialist comedy podcast Work It. Absurd comedy website, black comedy website.

How I miss civilised discourse with friends, now that I’m confronted with the brutality of modern commerce!~~~Dispatches...
05/12/2022

How I miss civilised discourse with friends, now that I’m confronted with the brutality of modern commerce!
~~~
Dispatches From The Captives In The Geico Commercial Writers Room by Nadia Iqbal.

How I miss civilised discourse with friends, now that I’m confronted with the brutality of modern commerce!

Imagine my surprise when I discovered the next Charlie Chaplin right here in town! The similarities are endless.~~~I Hav...
08/06/2022

Imagine my surprise when I discovered the next Charlie Chaplin right here in town! The similarities are endless.
~~~
I Have Discovered The Next Charlie Chaplin by Sam Allemang.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered the next Charlie Chaplin right here in town! The similarities are endless.

Nomadland is a movie about what happens if you don’t go to high school and get an education, starring Frances McDormand....
18/02/2022

Nomadland is a movie about what happens if you don’t go to high school and get an education, starring Frances McDormand.
~~~
Best Picture Winner Nomadland Reviewed By Mr. Shick, PS 189’s Vice Principal by Adrianne Frost.

Nomadland is a movie about what happens if you don’t go to high school and get an education, starring Frances McDormand.

We won’t get into the details of this gritty, complex political drama—but we will say that we definitely understand its ...
16/02/2022

We won’t get into the details of this gritty, complex political drama—but we will say that we definitely understand its nuance and cultural significance!
~~~
Widget’s Guide To The Greatest Films Of All Time (Which We’ve Definitely Seen!!) by Giulia De Vita.

We won’t get into the details of this gritty, complex political drama—but we will say that we definitely understand its nuance and cultural significance!

Please use your hall lockers to store your school supplies between classes in order to protect them from sand and radiat...
08/02/2022

Please use your hall lockers to store your school supplies between classes in order to protect them from sand and radiation from the planet’s surface.
~~~
First Day Of School At Elon Musk’s Martian Colony by Connor Relyea.

Please use your hall lockers to store your school supplies between classes in order to protect them from sand and radiation from the planet’s surface.

At one table are soon-to-be graduates who invested in Bitcoin before they were ten. At another, weeping, are less-than-g...
06/02/2022

At one table are soon-to-be graduates who invested in Bitcoin before they were ten. At another, weeping, are less-than-gifted students who bought at ATH.
~~~
A Typical Day At Sir James P. Bitcoin High, Canada’s Top Crypto School by William Vaillancourt.

At one table are soon-to-be graduates who invested in Bitcoin before they were ten. At another, weeping, are less-than-gifted students who bought at ATH.

On group projects, he’s useless. He reads at a grade zero level. He was my partner for a chemistry lab and he did nothin...
05/02/2022

On group projects, he’s useless. He reads at a grade zero level. He was my partner for a chemistry lab and he did nothing to help with the assignment.
~~~
Air Bud Goes To My High School And It Sucks by Nicolas Allard.

On group projects, he’s useless. He reads at a grade zero level. He was my partner for a chemistry lab and he did nothing to help with the assignment.

The Plank once again motioned that members start stuffing their bras with bags of pudding (to achieve optimum b**b consi...
02/02/2022

The Plank once again motioned that members start stuffing their bras with bags of pudding (to achieve optimum b**b consistency in a second base situation).
~~~
Minutes From The Meeting Of The Itty Bitty T***y Committee by Lauren Davis.

The Plank once again motioned that members start stuffing their bras with bags of pudding (to achieve optimum b**b consistency in a second base situation).

You could make up for earlier stumbles by totally crushing it in Pie In The Pants. They should have called it P*e In The...
23/01/2022

You could make up for earlier stumbles by totally crushing it in Pie In The Pants. They should have called it P*e In The Pants since that’s what you did.
~~~
Things Only 80s Kids Who Went On Double Dare And Absolutely B***d It Will Remember by Jenny Crowley.

You could make up for earlier stumbles by totally crushing it in Pie In The Pants. They should have called it P*e In The Pants since that’s what you did.

Easton’s melancholy guitargasm on “Double Trouble” is the perfect tune for when negotiations over the Stevenson account ...
21/01/2022

Easton’s melancholy guitargasm on “Double Trouble” is the perfect tune for when negotiations over the Stevenson account stall.
~~~
Top 10 Elliot Easton Guitar Solos To Inadvertently Ruin Your Career To by Justina Kolb.

Easton’s melancholy guitargasm on “Double Trouble” is the perfect tune for when negotiations over the Stevenson account stall.

The episode featured a 34-year-old uterus named Euterice, who says her tenant of one year, copper IUD Paragard, violated...
20/01/2022

The episode featured a 34-year-old uterus named Euterice, who says her tenant of one year, copper IUD Paragard, violated the terms of their agreement.
~~~
5 Wildest Moments From The Latest Episode Of Dr. Phil: “I’m A Uterus And My IUD Tenant Is Driving Me Nuts!” by Kasia Kalinowska.

The episode featured a 34-year-old uterus named Euterice, who says her tenant of one year, copper IUD Paragard, violated the terms of their agreement.

Chronicler: A mid-level management position that writes briefs for clients, or a wizened elder who secretly records the ...
19/01/2022

Chronicler: A mid-level management position that writes briefs for clients, or a wizened elder who secretly records the history of his civilization…
~~~
Consultant Lingo Or Phrase From A Dystopian Young Adult Novel? by Kath Dunham.

Chronicler: A mid-level management position that writes briefs for clients, or a wizened elder who secretly records the history of his civilization…

Thanos appears as a ghost to titansplain to the Guardians that they are unwitting participants in an elaborate ritual of...
19/01/2022

Thanos appears as a ghost to titansplain to the Guardians that they are unwitting participants in an elaborate ritual of slasher film tropes.
~~~
Marvel: The Kishotenketsu Horror Remix by Anna I Wu.

Thanos appears as a ghost to titansplain to the Guardians that they are unwitting participants in an elaborate ritual of slasher film tropes.

As a session musician, I have played with some really famous artists. What I’ve noticed is, they do things a little diff...
17/01/2022

As a session musician, I have played with some really famous artists. What I’ve noticed is, they do things a little differently than us ‘common folk’…
~~~
Confessions Of A Session Drummer by Magesh Magesh.

As a session musician, I have played with some really famous artists. What I’ve noticed is, they do things a little differently than us ‘common folk’…

Look out for signs of a playground union forming: whispered conversations and signs of hope on their faces. A happy play...
15/01/2022

Look out for signs of a playground union forming: whispered conversations and signs of hope on their faces. A happy playground is a deceitful playground.
~~~
Games Ruthless Executives Played During Recess by Nat Hrvatin.

Look out for signs of a playground union forming: whispered conversations and signs of hope on their faces. A happy playground is a deceitful playground.

Choosing a memorable moniker is about building character! And strength! And dragon-slaying, mead-guzzling, ring-giving e...
14/01/2022

Choosing a memorable moniker is about building character! And strength! And dragon-slaying, mead-guzzling, ring-giving excellence!
~~~
Want A Truly Unique Name For Your Little Angel? Check Out “The Big Book Of Baby Names From Beowulf”! by Ashley Memory.

Choosing a memorable moniker is about building character! And strength! And dragon-slaying, mead-guzzling, ring-giving excellence!

The quality of the work is directly related to how tied into the alarm system the piece is. As your fingers glide down t...
13/01/2022

The quality of the work is directly related to how tied into the alarm system the piece is. As your fingers glide down the sides you’ll notice the wiring.
~~~
A Guide To Determine If Art Is ‘Good’ by Tara Millette.

The quality of the work is directly related to how tied into the alarm system the piece is. As your fingers glide down the sides you’ll notice the wiring.

20 years ago, US intelligence arrested Habib for terrorism and threw him in Guantanamo Bay. Now, it turns out they had t...
12/01/2022

20 years ago, US intelligence arrested Habib for terrorism and threw him in Guantanamo Bay. Now, it turns out they had the wrong guy all along – whoops!
~~~
Five White Savior Sitcoms To Make You Feel Better About American Imperialism by Sai Dharmarajan.

20 years ago, US intelligence arrested Habib for terrorism and threw him in Guantanamo Bay. Now, it turns out they had the wrong guy all along – whoops!

What makes a magician truly great is knowing which audience members to choose as volunteers. And unfortunately, Orlo the...
11/01/2022

What makes a magician truly great is knowing which audience members to choose as volunteers. And unfortunately, Orlo the Outstanding did not choose me.
~~~
Review Of A Magic Show By A Woman Bitter She Wasn’t Chosen As An Audience Participant by Libby Marshall.

What makes a magician truly great is knowing which audience members to choose as volunteers. And unfortunately, Orlo the Outstanding did not choose me.

Grown Ups, Before They Grew Up: Sandler and the crew really put their acting chops to work as they play themselves – as ...
10/01/2022

Grown Ups, Before They Grew Up: Sandler and the crew really put their acting chops to work as they play themselves – as babies!
~~~
Movie Franchises We Missed Out On by Nadia Sadri.

Grown Ups, Before They Grew Up: Sandler and the crew really put their acting chops to work as they play themselves – as babies!

Walmart will be closing in seven minutes. We don’t want to be pushy, but it takes roughly three minutes to get from one ...
07/01/2022

Walmart will be closing in seven minutes. We don’t want to be pushy, but it takes roughly three minutes to get from one end of the store to the other…
~~~
Your Local Walmart Will Be Closing in Ten Minutes—And Counting by Paul Cecchini.

Walmart will be closing in seven minutes. We don’t want to be pushy, but it takes roughly three minutes to get from one end of the store to the other…

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