The Alarmist

The Alarmist We were The Alarmist. Oh, you were too? Great. The Alarmist is a dark, funny, silly and twisted printed literary magazine published biannually.

It’s not about trying to prove how clever or well-read you are. We want to buck the modern trend, and tickle and entertain with what we publish. Twitter:
Email: [email protected]

03/03/2018
The Alarmist

Since the demise of The Alarmist (more info about that here: https://medium.com//memoirs-of-a-dying-swan-4075ab99c3a5), our former co-editor, Gary W Hartley has been busy writing depressing, droll and maudlin short stories and prose (https://trainlitmag.weebly.com/featured-story.html & https://flapperhouse.com/2018/02/28/polis-fiction-by-gary-w-hartley/ etc etc) whilst in Greece. He's also managed to continue to add a load of football articles (https://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/fourfourtwos-definitive-guide-new-signing-welcome-interview) and some cracking (and still depressing) articles about the current state of Athens (https://www.citymetric.com/business/ghost-malls-athens-are-icons-urban-crisis-they-could-be-start-greek-comeback-3071) to his [sexy] body of work.

Where as our other former co-editor, Mansour, has been busy sh****ng about, pretending to be an intellectual on Medium.com (https://medium.com/), and very occasionally writing weird and/or absurd stories (http://talkingsoup.com/soup-bowl/derick-johnson-football & http://www.crag.dog/pishy-pishy-pish/).

Follow them on Twitter (if you can be arsed):
twitter.com/garyfromleeds
twitter.com/megapad

We were The Alarmist. Oh, you were too? Great.

www.alarmistmagazine.co.uk/buy/

10/08/2016

Timeline Photos

22/03/2016
Memoirs of a Dying Swan

As we didn't renew our domain, here's a chance to read our editorial from the last ever issue of The Alarmist. It's probably more of a commentary on journalism and the hazards and barriers to running an independent magazine successfully.

We've also added some pretty pictures to go with it.

This is a slightly edited version of our editorial from our fifth and final issue of The Alarmist, released Spring 2015.

09/02/2016

We've just been re-reading some old love letters to The Alarmist mailbox.

"I shat out my intestines when I read it."

"I found The Alarmist next to a dead man who had shat out his intestines. I started reading and immediately shat out my intestines. Thankfully, I quickly replaced them for the dead man's intestines and everything seems to be in working order."

"I found The Alarmist next to two dead men. As a coroner, I ran some checks and it appeared that both men had shat out their intestines. The second man had made a rather crude attempt to replace his shat out intestines with the first man's intestines."

"I found The Alarmist next to three dead men who had shat out their intestines. One was wearing a white lab coat which led me to believe he was involved in science or medicine of some sort. I noticed the book was turned to page 47 and upon noticing this, I immediately shat out my intestines."

Ah, those were the days.

17/01/2016

Well, we're quite close to no longer existing. And to use the title of a Semisonic album, we're feeling strangely fine.

If you want to buy issue 4, you can still get hold of it on Newsstand. Otherwise, we might have the odd copy of issue 5 still left, so message us if you're really desperate.

30/12/2015
The Alarmist | Memoirs of a Dying Swan |

We're not going renew our domain when it expires, so here's [probably] a last chance to read our final editorial about our experiences running an indie lit mag and our thoughts on the state of the independent magazine industry as a whole, as well as wider-linked musings on society, technology, art, journalism and more.

This is a slightly edited version of the editorial from Issue 5 of The Alarmist released Spring/Summer 2015. We started off The Alarmist‘s first editorial by avoiding self-congratulation. The writing should do the talking, we said. And it might have done if there were enough people around to listen.…

12/11/2015

We should probably remind you that we still have some copies of Issue 4 and Issue 5 to sell.

There are not that many left, so if you are thinking about buying a few copies as a Christmas present (which, let's be honest, you probably aren't), then go to www.alarmistmagazine.co.uk/buy/

PS: If you can guess who's in the photo we'll give you a prize.

04/11/2015
Sometimes magazines die - magCulture

This is a great opinion piece from Rob Alderson raising some interest arguments about how we might assess a magazine's demise.

For this month’s Opinion post, Rob Alderson asks if its always bad news when a magazine closes. Late last week, ESPN announced it was closing Grantland, its four-year-old sports and pop culture site. Grantland was much-loved by many for championing longform writing – with thousands of words expended…

28/10/2015

We've decided to celebrate the dizzying heights of having 910 Facebook likes by no longer publishing any magazines. 🎂🍾🍺🍷🍸🎉🎊🎈

26/10/2015
The Alarmist Issue Five | Ti Pi Tin

Aside from the few issues available to buy from our website, Ti Pi Tin is one of the last remaining places you can get your hands on our fifth and final issue.

17/09/2015

You can read the editorial from our fifth and final issue, described by magCulture as a "must-read", for free here:

www.alarmistmagazine.co.uk/memoirs

And if you like it, maybe you can buy yourself a copy.

22/08/2015

Looking back at our first issue from 2012. We were so young and fresh-faced.

04/08/2015
The Alarmist Memoirs of a Dying Swan |

Here's what most magazines won't tell you. Our editorial, doubling as an exposé on the independent magazine industry, from our fifth and final issue (still available to buy).

This is a slightly edited version of the editorial from Issue 5 of The Alarmist released Spring/Summer 2015. We started off The Alarmist‘s first editorial by avoiding self-congratulation. The writing should do the talking, we said. And it might have done if there were enough people around to listen.…

17/07/2015
The Alarmist Memoirs of a Dying Swan |

Good/awful news! Our depressing/refreshingly honest editorial from our current and last issue is available for free.

That issue and our previous issue are available to buy at www.alarmistmagazine.co.uk/buy/

This is a slightly edited version of the editorial from Issue 5 of The Alarmist released Spring/Summer 2015. We started off The Alarmist‘s first editorial by avoiding self-congratulation. The writing should do the talking, we said. And it might have done if there were enough people around to listen.…

08/07/2015

Well, we may have published our last issue, but it's pretty damn nice to finally be stocked at MoMA PS1.

25/05/2015

And maintenance of semi (or perhaps even progression to full-blown) when we see it stocked at the Tate Modern Shop.

25/05/2015

It always gives us a right semi when we see our magazine at Foyles.

20/05/2015
The Alarmist Memoirs of a Dying Swan |

Our final editorial talks about the increasing and perhaps unhealthy "thirst for free".

Here's an attempt to quench some of that thirst with the full editorial for your perusal.

Amongst many other topics, we look at our experience of running the magazine, our thoughts on the state of independent magazines (the scene and producing them), and how free content and the Internet can negatively impact on artistic and journalistic output.

Read it, and then feel free to purchase a copy!

This is a slightly edited version of the editorial from Issue 5 of The Alarmist released Spring/Summer 2015. We started off The Alarmist‘s first editorial by avoiding self-congratulation. The writing should do the talking, we said. And it might have done if there were enough people around to listen.…

15/05/2015

Sincerest thanks to all those who braved the dismal drizzle to see us off as a magazine-launching entity.

Also, huge thanks to 93 Feet East for having us. We made a decent crack at cleaning up the gnarled vegetables.

14/05/2015
The Alarmist Issue 5 Launch Party

As recommended by TimeOut, join us tonight as we launch our swansong edition with a bang.

Literary magazine The Alarmist launches its fifth (and final!) issue with a live gig featuring comedians, spoken word artists and DJs. The line-up includes unhinged...

28/04/2015

Issue 5 is available to pre-order (with a sample to peruse) now at www.alarmistmagazine.co.uk/buy/

It will hit UK shelves in the next 7 days, and overseas shops will get it about 4-6 weeks later. But if you can't wait til then you can get it sent direct to your door on the link above.

Issue 5 will be our swansong issue so, fittingly, we kick things off with a self-indulgent editorial/exposé on the state of the independent magazine industry.

Lastly, we'll be launching our fifth and final issue with a big fu***ng party on Thursday 14th May at 93 Feet East. Performances to be announced soon.

23/04/2015

We're launching Issue 5 at London's 93 Feet East on Thursday 14 May. More stuff to satiate your thirst for additional knowledge about this happening is on the way shortly.

09/04/2015

Some Easter goodness, courtesy of Ohara Hale.

Happy Easter Bunny Day! A couple years ago I saw a bunch of kinda creepy kinda funny Easter Bunny photos and decided to draw them. Here are a couple from the series. Later on they were published in The Alarmist. AND ALSO here is one of my favorite anthropological internet photo treasures too. ;)

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The Alarmist was a dark, funny, silly and twisted printed literary magazine published biannually. It was not about trying to prove how clever or well-read you were. We wanted to buck the modern trend, and tickle and entertain with what we published. Twitter: @AlarmistMag Email: [email protected]