15/10/2023
Your ego is NOT your enemy
If you desire a life of greatness, your ego is your biggest ally.
Here’s why:
Most spiritually inclined people think ego is a bad thing.
They work to overcome the ego.
Transcend the ego.
Even kill the ego.
But the ego is an inherent part of our being. We are all born with it. It cannot be killed.
The ego doesn’t need to be overcome because it's not inherently“bad”.
Everyone has an ego. Just like how everyone has a hand.
Can you hand be “bad”?
Maybe if you use your hands to hurt others.
But you can also use your hands to heal and help others.
The ego is neither good or bad.
It’s harmful when you are stuck in the wrong ego identity.
When this happens, your ego uses YOU instead of the other way around.
But the ego is awesome when you can skillfully use it to achieve your goals.
First, let’s back up a little.
What exactly is the ego?
My definition of ego is: the sum total of all your identifications.
What are identifications?
It’s believing “I am ____ “
We all identify with countless things unconsciously.
Ego identifications feel “real” you don’t even question them:
- Physical body (tall, short, handsome, ugly)
- Gender (male, female)
- Role (parent, mom, husband, friend)
- Personality (confident, weak, generous, insecure)
- Philosophy (liberal, Christian, atheist)
- And so on
You *think* these identifications make up the “real” you.
But they don’t.
But they are just thoughts and feelings in your consciousness.
The real you is pure consciousness.
Eternal, infinite awareness.
Imagine Marlon Brando acting as Don Corleone in the Godfather.
While filming, he has IDENTIFIED with Don Corleone. He...
- Speaks like Don
- Moves like Don
- May even feel and think like Don
But afterward filming the movie, he is no longer Don.
He is Marlon again.
The ego works the same.
It helps you achieve a GOAL by taking on a point of view (POV).
Say you’re a doctor (POV).
At work, you treat patients (GOAL).
On your way back, you are a driver (POV) to get home safe (GOAL)
At home, you greet your wife. Now you're a husband.
If your goal is to avoid embarrassment in big groups, you can take on the ego identity of a “reserved person”.
If your goal is to give a good presentations, you can take on the ego identity of a “confident person”.
If you want harmony, you may become a "tolerant person"
This is normal and healthy as long as you can DROP that identity when it’s no longer needed.
Otherwise, you get stuck in an identity!
Imagine Marlon Brando not being able to slip out of the identity of a crime boss after filming.
Sounds silly, but it happens to most people.
Some examples of stuck ego identities :
- Your “tolerant person” identity prevents you from setting proper boundaries
- Your “shy person” identity prevents you from speaking up in social situations
- Your "independent person" identity prevents you from asking for help
So what happens when you learn how to SKILLFULLY use your ego?
In the words of Bruce Lee, you become like water.
You become infinitely more effective because you can CHOOSE the best identity to achieve your goals for any situation.
You have conscious control.
Take someone like Mohammed Ali.
Literally held the title of “The Greatest”
Yet Ali had the humility and selflessness of a monk.
He could de-identify with being a “legendary boxer” and just be a regular human being outside of the ring.
Compare that to someone like Connor McGregor (at his peak).
He was self-confident, aggressive, and worked hard.
Yet he could not DE-IDENTIFY from the traits that made him successful outside of the ring.
He once punched an old man at a bar for refusing to drink his whiskey!
So don't try to get rid of the ego or kill it (it’s impossible).
Instead, know what you want first.
Then, recognize the identities you need to be to have that.
Next, become aware of UNCONSCIOUS goals you have (to release opposing identities).
And most importantly...
Know that your ego identities no matter how great - are ALWAYS limited from the perspective of infinite consciousness.
And that, my friend, is your true Self.
