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27/04/2024

Mother Nature is poppin off with her bs today folks.
RED ALERT. RED ALERT.
Birds are dive bombing vehicles, flying like they’ve lost their damn minds! Cows are already gathering on the fence line. Turtles on the road, and I even seen a damn tarantula in my driveway.
We are talking some hairy stuff going to hit us today so pack your spend the night bag because you will be sleeping in the hole tonight ladies and gents.

01/04/2024

We got a bad mama jamma coming for us crossing the red river as we speak.
I’ve had bees in the damn mailboxes, roadrunners darting out in front of me, cows laying on the south fence line, squirrels gathering up food for the s**t show. Imma thinking we will have twisters just POP POP POPPING down on us.

Big ole biscuits are just a bubbling, which means big ole hail coming for us! Grab your mamaws frying pan for your head, get those running shoes by the door because you’ll be hitting the hole this evening Okies.

07/03/2024

More than thunderstorms imma telling ya right now.
The watermelon is ripe for the thumpin, yall.
I seen a turtles getting to higher ground meaning FLOODING!
Cows laying down at noon today. Riddle me that.
Mr. Ed packed his s**t and he gone!
I’ve seen it all today.
Get them shoes by the door Oklahomans your ass will be hittin the hole tonight

15/06/2023

Healdton Ok teeth in, bras on grab ya pappy and s**t and get!
HIT THE DAMN HOLE

15/06/2023

Sure as s**t we got it cinnamon rolling right to us. Anchor down the patio furniture, and strap them damn running shoes on! Get ready for a wild ride ladies and gents these bad boys are going to be popping off like popcorn all night.

15/06/2023

High alert today people! Mr. Ed has his ass facing straight west. Cows lined up on the south fence line you know what that means? Some rank s**t is a rolling in. I got roadrunners not knowing if they’re coming or a going. Squirrels going friggin crazy, birds dive bombing mailboxes. The animals have lost their ever loving minds today. Get your running shoes by the back door because you’ll be hittin the hole tonight and I ain’t a jokin

27/02/2023

Don’t get caught with ya pant down, Oklahoma.
This s**t ain’t nothing to mess around with! Don’t stay inside and end up in Oz hit that damn hole and lock it down!

16/02/2023

Ada & Sulphur, Ok it’s time to s**t n git!
Get dressed, grab the babies and hit the damn hole!

30/03/2022

We going to be hunkering in the bunker tonight

29/03/2022

I feel it in the air tonight. It’s going to get bad ladies and gents

13/10/2021

I’m hear to say my prediction is
It’s going to turn at the river and go right down
I 44. Yukon and El Reno, Ok get ready to boot scoot and BOOOOGIE

13/10/2021

The pot if full of steaming s**t tonight. We going to have naders popping up everywhere! Stay on high alert people 🚨🚨

13/10/2021

Fredrick, Ok pop them teeth in, slap on those Boulder holders and your run fast shoes. Get your asses to the damn hole!

13/10/2021

You mark my words when I say we got ourself a sidewinder two stepping her way through the prairie tonight 💃🌪
Cows lined up on the east fence line. Spiders hunkering in the mailboxes, squirrel going ape s**t to get their nuts in time for the big show.
Let me put it to you this way. She will be a sucking that watermelon dry and spitting pumpkin seeds at ya the thumping is a coming ladies and gents.
Anchor down them damn lawn chair, pull them boots on and get ready to shimmy ya ass to hit the damn hole.

10/10/2021

🚨 Red friggen alert 🚨

The cinnamon roll batter is in process as we speak. It’s on the damn rise.

I’m talking a damn outbreak.

TORNADO OUTBREAK PEOPLE

Horses have their asses facing the north of the barn so that means friggin bad news a coming.
My right knee is a killing me that means is coming in a kicking. Rank sob going to let us know when it’s arrived, because it’ll be coming in hot let me tell ya.
Be on red alert people. I’m talking get the hidey hole cleaned out, & stocked up. Keep your shoes on Oklahoma because ya ass will be booking it to the damn hole and I ain’t a kidding ya.

12/06/2021

I’m here to tell ya the storms are ramping up. The watermelon is ripe for the thumping and it’s going to try to catch us all by surprise tonight while we sleeping without our drawers on.
Keep those teeth on the bed side and the running shoes by the door bc ya ass might be hitting the hole!
Mr. Ed had his ass facing the SE today and the turtles where crossing the road like they was in a disco. So that means rain, hail, and hello TORNADOS!
Sleep light tonight ladies and gents

27/05/2021

I’m here to tell ya my hairs doing curly Qs, the freaking hair on my arm is sticking straight up! You know what that means? Electrical, it’s going to be electrical! Cows are on the south fence line. Mr. Ed has lost his damn marbles. Tell Paul to strap on them steel toes because the snakes in the hen house!! We are in for a ride wilder than any 8 seconds I promise ya that.

07/05/2021

Listen to me! I just drove by Mr. Ed and he was a BUCKING and pacing the ground like a man waiting on his wife to pop out that 4th child. What does that mean, Okies?! It means today’s gonna get rank. I see it building as we speak so get ready. Get ya go bag ready because ya ass will be hitting the hole ladies and gents.

04/05/2021

People in Pauls Valley Antioch, Katie, EC get your asses below ground. I’m watching my radar now and it’s about to come in your back door. Knees to chest and hook it to the hole! Grab ya kids, ya dog, and some snacks because you’ll be down there for awhile. Don’t forget to pop them teeth in just in case news 9 wants an interview!

28/04/2021

Stay on red alert Oklahoma🚨
We had cows laying down under the trees today at noon. Squirrels running ape s**t crazy gathering the food to be prepared. We are going to have hail bigger than Ethels bunions! Wind that’ll blow your eyelashes three counties over.
Better tell Pa to put his high waters on and give you a pair to because I’m talking flooding!
About witching hour and you’ll be running your ass to hit the hole!
And I ain’t a kiddin ya! 

09/04/2021

We got birds attacking squirrels cows gathered on the southeast fence line and and Mr. Ed has his ass facing straight east! You know what that means folks s**ts about to get RANK!! Animals are going crazy. Get your running shoes by the door and the pot for your head because your ass will be hitting the damn hole today probably more than once and I ain’t a kidding ya!

07/04/2021

I’m over here in Hennepin, Ok and imma telling ya right now I’m watching super cells build as we speak! Just building and building like someone’s stacking LEGO’s or some s**t. Listen to me Arkansas better have their asses ready to HIT THE HOLE! 2 hrs from when it crosses Oklahoma line it’s going to be a rockin and rollin right to y’all and I ain’t a kidding ya ⛈⚡️☔️🌪

08/05/2020

I'm hear to tell ya, Tuttle is in the line of fire. Flooding expected in Norman. People south of Canadian rivers are going to get slammed with severe weather, so southern okla needs to get prepared. The damn dogs are howling and the moons a full and I've got damn mocking birds singing but this s**t is fixing to roar.... hit the hole!!!

08/05/2020

Burns flat needs to hit the hole. Damn thing is fixing to cross the rivers. More intensity with wind and hail. The storm has an inflow because of the heat rotation...
People in Geary it's your turn to rock n roll.... So Hit the Damn Hole!!!

08/05/2020

Hit the damn hole OKC!!! Sh*ts about to get rank.

08/05/2020

Mother Nature is having a menopausal breakdown and doesn't know which way she wants to spin. Two lines of storms from the southeast and from west to east, they will merge and intensify the storms in okc,Moore area. Powerful but will come extremely dangerous when they merge that is when they cross the N Canadian and South Canadian river all extremes should be measured with a red damn alert for a extensive observation for spin enough to produce a damn twister in okc/metro to Norman. OK,Winds are going to getup to 100 miles per hour and it is still 73 degrees and when the cold front hits the adventure will begin Helter Shelter. People in eastern okla be ready for a daybreak of havoc. Hit the damn hole Hit the Damn hole

08/05/2020

Yes! the rooster will crow around here in Garvin Co about 3:00 am I hope the weather men don’t take it to lightly down here because night time storms seem to be the worst with this kind of instability. Imma say it’s going to be an all nighter. So get your power naps in and get ready to rock. Your ass might have to book it to the damn hole in the middle of the night so go to bed dressed tonight ladies and gents.

04/05/2020

If you are in or around Byars hit the hit the friggin hole. Your ass is in the line of fire.

28/04/2020

Cows on the sw corner of the pasture today during my route. The turtles are moving to higher ground! Meaning flooding! Mr. Ed. had his ass to the east and the bulls didn’t want to move out of the road there asses was facing the east too! Chihuahua  dog came darting right at my damn vehicle in the middle of the road like he was gonna remove my car. the damn birds were having a singing melody this morning doing the warning gossip of the approaching storms!
The doves were taking shelter in a cedar tree and the red bird flew out and done a complete 360 hooked his ass right back to the nest for shelter. Damn animals were going absolutely crazy.
Imma tell you now this storm will produce enough lighting you’ll think it’s the 4th. Grab your rubber boots, a hard hat!
Twisters and large hail. Tell Pa to grab his Spurs because we are dealing with a rank one.

Don’t forget to pack ya an overnight bag your ass might be in the damn hole all night. Mother Nature is going to be a rockin and rollin.

24/04/2020

Imma tell you right now after 2 oclock dont plan on nothing. We are going to have a showdown today. I’m talking hail, and high winds. Mother nature’s got her mixin bowl just expect things to get raunchy.
I got calf’s sucking early on the east fence line.
I got circulation already. The heat is on high. Perfect mixture for a s**t show.

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