10/05/2024
Cape Town – you've been a distant end goal for so many months on the road that it was hard to imagine ever getting to you.
Now that I'm here, well, I don't really know what to do with myself.
Tomorrow it will be three weeks since I arrived to complete my trip down the southern half of Africa. 🚲
But for at least half of those days since arriving, I've scrolled the time away on my phone or procrastinated the things which are actually worth my time.
Things like properly resting, or calling family and friends, or seeing new things, or... catching up on the videos I want to edit from my trip.
When you go from every day having a singular clear objective – cycle to the next destination and keep yourself alive – it's hard to then be in a place where there are a million different potential objectives to chase.
Suddenly it feels like I have no time at all.
Life on the bike had a LOT of time to just think and wonder, formulate plans and dream future ambitions.
I literally couldn't scroll on your phone. Or sit and watch YouTube. Or look at F1 memes.
I just had to keep pedalling and observe my surroundings.
And think about stuff.
It was perfect.
Now that I'm done and I actually have to CHOOSE what ambition to chase next or FOCUS on the particular idea or thing I want to work on, and I'm a bit, well... lost.
I'm "travelling" but I'm also in limbo.
I'm "resting" but I'm also anxious.
I'm "living" but I'm also frozen.
And I'm sitting here writing this, not knowing what the f**k I'm doing out here still.
But I don't have my own home to go back to.
And I don't have a job to go back to.
I don't have a clue what I'm doing tomorrow or the day after that.
What does the path forward even look like?
It's scary, that's for sure.
But one thing I must learn is to not beat myself up when I get to the end of the day and I haven't spent it the most optimal way possible, or achieved everything in my to-do list, or suddenly worked out all the problems in my life.
I should've learned that lesson when I left university without anything to show for it, and yet here we are.
Don't beat yourself up Liam.
Tomorrow is a new day.
And that new day is a gift.