Random Nerds

Random Nerds Random Nerds is a media outlet run by people doing their best. They’re probably a lot like you. Or, even worse, they aren’t worth remembering at all.

They live, they laugh, they love, and they read a lot of writing online. However, unfortunately for them (and you), the vast majority of writing on the internet is, to be charitable, quite poor in quality. You probably run your eyeballs over a dozen articles every day that make organs deep inside your body tighten up with rage. Random Nerds was founded as a response to that. Not by the best and ce

rtainly not by the brightest, but by real-life humans that recognize that ‘views’ and ‘users’ are, deep down, real-life humans too, capable of discerning quality from BS. Random Nerds is, before all else, a sanctuary for passion, quality, and transparency.

19/09/2019
The Cinematic, Life-Saving Sounds of Overwatch

"The more you play Overwatch, becoming acutely familiar with the game and its playstyle, the more you depend on the sounds and the music to orient yourself within the game."

Because a majority of our iconic video game characters were birthed during a time when visuals and gameplay were emphasized over story, they are primarily composed of a collection of distinguishing colors, movements, and, most importantly, sounds. Mario jumps like Mario, wears blue overalls and a re...

12/09/2019
BOOK REPORTS FOR ADULTS: “Dune” by Frank Herbert

TL;DR:

Human beings wrestle every day with the vastness of space and the enormous span of history. Compared to that, riding a giant worm through the desert is child’s play.

Renowned author Emilie Buchwald once said, “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” In our series Book Reports for Adults, we hope to make up for all those parents who turned on Seinfeld instead. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… *** Dune by Frank Herbert Book size:...

09/09/2019
What Are You Without the Suit?

“Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, and what are you?”

Frustrated and under the influence of a malevolent staff, Steve Rogers can think of no greater way to mock Tony Stark than to point out that he has no real superpowers. “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, and what are you?” he spits, emboldened by a feeling of superiority because his [....

08/08/2019
BOOK REPORTS FOR ADULTS: “Dune” by Frank Herbert

So real that you can taste the spice dust:

Renowned author Emilie Buchwald once said, “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” In our series Book Reports for Adults, we hope to make up for all those parents who turned on Seinfeld instead. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… *** Dune by Frank Herbert Book size:...

05/08/2019
A shooting has taken place in ______, leaving ______ dead

Breaking news:

I wrote the following in response to the Arapahoe High School shooting back in December of 2013. However, after reading the details of the recent shooting at the movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, it seemed fitting to repost. These kinds of things will keep happening until we actively decide we....

22/07/2019
Death of an Ad Man: The ‘Use Twitter Lists to Get Followers’ Scam

Follow us on Twitter for more details...

Welcome to Death of an Ad Man, where we celebrate the industry Stephen Leacock once described as “a judicious mixture of flattery and threats.” *** Everyone wants to get them some Twitter followers, right? And who could blame them? Twitter followers are the best. They’re the avatared reminders...

17/07/2019
The Hall of Fame of “Game of Thrones” Quotes

32 Emmy nominations.

Random Nerds is already home to “Just a Game of Thrones.” However, after this former English major finished his pre-Season 8 rewatch, I’ve also found myself with a Citadel library’s worth of Hall-worthy quotes. And, since we’re all in this together, I figured why not post them so my fellow...

11/07/2019
A Day with Android at its Maximum Potential

Excelsior!

*Editor’s Note: The other day I came across this fantastic post on Reddit, and while Mr. Sc4s2cg has to remain r/anonymous, I assure you all Patronizing dollars will find their way to his bank account. A Day with Android Morning: 8:00am Wake up to the vibration of my watch, which is controlled by ...

01/07/2019
Super Tantalus Run: Nintendo, and the allure of the just-out-of-reach

A game that is constantly encouraging us to look backward, to return to terrain we’ve already traversed...

Nintendo has always gotten off on withholding. Legend of Zelda and Metroid games taunt us by making inaccessible areas visible; behind doors locked by keys we don’t have, placed beyond a chasm we cannot cross, protected by shields we cannot breach. Thus, the satisfaction of playing these games lie...

24/06/2019
Getting a Grip on The Knuckleball

there's nothing quite like it

There is nothing in team sports quite like the knuckleball… In no other sport is there a specialized skill, mastered by only a few players, which seems to run contrary to every accepted tenet of that position. Advanced concepts like mixing speeds and eye levels, varying pitch selections, and keepi...

19/06/2019
A Primer to Juneteenth (and a polite heads-up for white observers)

"Our nation is stronger because of the generations of struggles for equal rights and social justice, and our culture is richer because of the contributions of African Americans throughout our history.

This is why Juneteenth, while rooted in the history of a people, can be celebrated by all Americans." — Obama

Independence Day is fast approaching, with the Fourth of July only a couple of weeks away. But the American colony’s big split from mother England really only presented a small, select group of people with newfound freedom and agency: adult, landowning white men. To a black population kept in serv...

14/06/2019
Andre Iguodala Got the Last Laugh

Never forget.

It’s been two days since the Golden State Warriors defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers to win the NBA title, and reality has set in. Not that a franchise that won 23 games during the lockout-shortened 2011-12 season and got bounced in the first round of the playoffs last year won its first championsh...

11/06/2019
BOOK REPORTS FOR ADULTS: “The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood

"A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere as long as it stays inside the maze."

Renowned author Emilie Buchwald once said, “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” In our series Book Reports for Adults, we hope to make up for all those parents who turned on Seinfeld instead. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… *** The Handmaid’s Tale by Margare...

22/05/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #806: Ask Me Again in 10 Years

The imp is right.

There is, indeed, nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. And nothing can stop it. No enemy can defeat it.

But where exactly does a good story’s power reside?

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** Ask Me Again in 10 Years Mere hours before “the finale endured round the world,” my mother-in-law confessed to an assemblage of friends and family members congregated around her dinner table that...

19/05/2019
The War of Roses that led to the Game of Thrones

Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before

Welcome to TV Minus the TV, a column full of thoughts about TV shows watched on laptops published on the internet for you to read on your phone. *** No fantasy comes completely separated from reality, and Game of Thrones is no different. While the magic, dragons, and White Walkers may come from vari...

15/05/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #805: Down Pat

Qyburn was the smartest person in the entire show.

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** Down Pat A few hours before the show, my buddy Pat texted me to ask if I thought “we have a shot at being surprised tonight.” My reply: “I’ve had so many possible endings and [...]

13/05/2019
The Hall of Fame of “Game of Thrones” Quotes

"The true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms" — Tyrion Lannister

Random Nerds is already home to “Just a Game of Thrones.” However, after this former English major finished his pre-Season 8 rewatch, I’ve also found myself with a Citadel library’s worth of Hall-worthy quotes. And, since we’re all in this together, I figured why not post them so my fellow...

10/05/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #804: The Finnish Line

To quote Bronn from the fifth episode of season six,

"This song really is all about the ending."

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** The Finnish Line There’s a popular, self-effacing joke Finnish people like to tell that pokes fun at their culture’s well-known tendency towards introversion: “An introverted Finn looks at thei...

08/05/2019
Mind of The Wandering Monk: #0020 – Lifting The Veil

"Crack a cold one and settle in, but be weary.

You just might send in a resignation letter and set sail to find your own truth after listening."

In early April, I booked a one-way ticket to St. Thomas from Providence, Rhode Island in order to join my friend Captain Phillip Gutowski and his First Mate Lexi Ossinger on a sailing adventure from St. Thomas, through Puerto Rico and the Bahamas, up to Boston, with stops in Florida and New York Cit...

08/05/2019
A shooting has taken place in ______, leaving ______ dead

You’re going to sigh heavily.

A little piece of your heart might calcify a bit.

I wrote the following in response to the Arapahoe High School shooting back in December of 2013. However, after reading the details of the recent shooting at the movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, it seemed fitting to repost. These kinds of things will keep happening until we actively decide we....

30/04/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #803: In Awe

Arya = Batman

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** In Awe The English language makes no sense. For instance… Knot and not. Knight and night. Knew and new. White and wight. Write and right. Read and red. Cite and sight. Lead and led.   [...]

23/04/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #802: Yada Yada S*x

"In just an under an hour, we were inspired by once-inconceivable absolution, crushed by the weight of impending sorrow, and assuaged by bouts of absurdity."

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** Yada Yada S*x In 1997, Peter Mehlman and Jill Franklyn were nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series for “The Yada Yada,” the 153rd episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. An ...

16/04/2019
Just a Game of Thrones #801: All My Friends

"That's how it starts..."

Welcome to Just a Game of Thrones, the column singing backup vocals on the Song of Ice and Fire. *** All My Friends That’s how it starts… We go back to your house… You check the charts, And start to figure it out… And if it’s crowded, all the better, Because we know we’re gonna [...]

15/04/2019
Mind of The Wandering Monk: #0019 – The Pirates of Culebrita

After storming a beach in Puerto Rico, the crew of Eclipse find themselves off the coast of Culebrita...

In early April, I booked a one-way ticket to St. Thomas from Providence, Rhode Island in order to join my friend Captain Phillip Gutowski and his First Mate Lexi Ossinger on a sailing adventure from St. Thomas, through Puerto Rico and the Bahamas, up to Boston, with stops in Florida and New York Cit...

11/04/2019
Mind of The Wandering Monk: #0018 – Don’t Fall Off The Boat

"In early April, I booked a one-way ticket to St. Thomas from Providence, Rhode Island in order to join my friend Captain Phil and his First Mate Lexi on a sailing adventure..."

In early April, I booked a one-way ticket to St. Thomas from Providence, Rhode Island in order to join my friend Captain Phillip Gutowski and his First Mate Lexi Ossinger on a sailing adventure from St. Thomas, through Puerto Rico and the Bahamas, up to Boston, with stops in Florida and New York Cit...

10/04/2019
Dear Writers, It’s Time You Learn How to Code Because 01010111 01011001

Enjoy your journey down the rabbit hole, Alice

It’s become ‘a thing’ to tell people that they need to learn how to code if they’re going to survive in the modern work world. That is completely untrue. You do not need to learn how to code unless you actually get paid to be a programmer, developer, or computer scientist. However, as more a...

08/04/2019
The Marvel Cinematic Universe and Tolstoy’s Philosophy of History

"Marvel’s storytelling feels generous because every character has the chance to be a lead sometimes."

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is a massive project, spanning multiple TV shows and a dozen films. Its scope includes the streets of New York and extends to the far reaches of the galaxy. Many superpowered characters live somewhere in there, all leading their own individual lives. But through these i...

06/04/2019
The Cinematic, Life-Saving Sounds of Overwatch

The Cinematic, Life-Saving Sounds of "Overwatch"

Because a majority of our iconic video game characters were birthed during a time when visuals and gameplay were emphasized over story, they are primarily composed of a collection of distinguishing colors, movements, and, most importantly, sounds. Mario jumps like Mario, wears blue overalls and a re...

01/04/2019
Iron Fist vs. Freedom Beast

Pass the loincloth...

Superhero movies are largely exercises in nostalgia. Dr. Strange is Dr. Strange, rather than Lady Mystical, or Captain Weird, or Saint Aardvark because I just made up Captain Weird and Lady Mystical and Saint Aardvark. There aren’t fifty year-old comics with any of them on the cover. People presum...

29/03/2019
The Hall of Fame of Game of Thrones GIFs

Get ready, one repeating image at a time...

Welcome to the Hall of Fame of Game of Thrones GIFs, where we celebrate the best mini-moments in the (Known) world. And if you think this is good, check out our Just a Game of Thrones series. *** The Hall of Fame of Game of Thrones GIFs (The HoF of GoT GIFs) From #703: “The [...]

21/03/2019
Our Surefire 2019 NCAA March Madness Bracket Win Yes Now

Now go out there and win some money off your coworkers!

March Madness is officially upon us (streaming options listed here). Thus, I feel preternaturally compelled to partake in the yearly ritual of throwing $20 to the college basketball winds in hopes of living out my very own Cinderella story. Unfortunately, for as sharp as I am when it comes to gambli...

14/03/2019

A true Random Nerds OG.

https://randomnerds.com/random-nerds-is-throwing-a-concert/

It’s been a year. 2 days ago was my year anniversary of stepping into full time creativity. I’ll start by saying; I feel great, I still own my house, kids haven’t missed a meal, etc. I’ve stepped out on faith both feet and it’s real life scary. I ain’t scary, but this is scary. It’s a test of all that faith & higher power pseudo spiritual that you be blabbing about when you’re gainfully employed. Gleefully walking in your ignorance of assumption and safety net, until you get let go or the gov’t shuts down. This is that implementation of your faith ethic meeting your work ethic and trusting in both the process AND your higher power. No I’m not well off, no I don’t own that Tesla I want- shout to (I covet the purp wagon 😉) yes, you do have to pay me for my time, yes I’m still consulting. (Thanks to and for hiring me. Yes, I’m fortunate to be gigging this year w/ genii thank you. I put out some dope records w/my brother (like for real) worked on some dope songs w/ the amazing .zen and thank you. Sold out shows thanks currently: I’m a Fellow my project HUBRI$ will be seen during God has been good, while I’ve been working. Emphasis on working. You can hire me for a variety of services, because kids y mortgage. Thanks to everyone that has supported me in this iteration of my life. Many thanks & much love to for making a safe space for me to live as intended. I appreciate you. https://ift.tt/2F8Om1u

13/03/2019
Joe and Bryce Explains It All: #0010 – Road Rash

SXSW scooter injuries, the need for IT co-pilots, and the inexorable video game wars...

In this episode, our ventursome adventurers discuss SXSW scooter injuries, the need for IT co-pilots, and the inexorable video game wars. Also, dragons: And remember, Anthem is a sucky Destiny clone that wasted its massive budget.   Relevant Links: “Dear Writers, It’s Time You Learn How to Code...

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