Dump Stats - The Podcast

14/08/2023

The Humanoids that Bad together continue to creative together 🧟‍♂️
📸: Tia Woller

07/07/2022

Saviik now knew he had a twin. A twin “sister” who completed the key, his mother said.

“I created you both to lessen the chances of losing you,” she whispered before nodding off, “If one of you is lost, the other gains their power. If neither of you is lost, you both must be present at the right time.”

“…and if we’re both lost?”

“Then we all are.”

…

Saviik looked up at the twin moons and couldn’t help but think of this “sister” out there.

“Mother what is our purpose?”

“…to teach…her…how to ascend.”

“Who? My sister?”

“…no. Another.”

26/05/2022

Meanwhile, Saviik and his mother traveled far from the city. They flew over the open sea until finding refuge on a deserted island. Neither needing sustenance, this was a perfectly fine location to regroup.

“The second moon doesn’t seem to affect the tides here,” Saviik said.

“Hmm,” began his mother, “curious because it should.”

Saviik obviously couldn’t tell if his mother was smiling, as she was an oddly calm yet still very much undead dracolich. He blinked a few times in annoyance. He knew she knew. He just got there a few seconds after she did.

“Unless,” they both began.

“No, you,” said his mother.

“Unless,” Saviik said as he cleared his throat, “unless the second moon isn’t physically here.”

“Only one way to find out, I suppose.”

“Mother. If you’re suggesting we fly—“

“What?! No! No no no. We wouldn’t dare such a thing…”

Saviik held his incredulous stare.

“…not without your sister.”

Okay, that one got to Saviik.

29/04/2022

Nero needed his book. It had everything, and his memory—though bolstered by the advice of the mind mage—had gaps. He just kept repeating it:

The Prophecy of the Waking Life:
The False Gods of Rygar
The Demon Lords of Fel
The Child Ghosts of Ishaan
The Ancient Horrors of Aether
…

And that’s all he could remember.

“Nowhere near good enough,” he’d say. And then start again…

28/04/2022

“So, what are they?” Captain Millennia Darkspine sat at the table across from her longtime comrade, the interim god of death, Nero. She fiddled with her stein of lukewarm ale, not sure if she wanted to know the answer anymore.

“They’re not from here, never have been,” Nero casually responded. “But I guess that’s not what I’m worried about, fam.”

“That fits,” Millennia said back. “You’re always worried about something else. So. What is it we should all be worried about?”

Nero took a second. (He never takes a second.)

“How old they are.”

27/07/2020

If you enjoyed the game mechanics and rules used on the show (let’s be honest; who didn't enjoy our rules, or lack thereof?).

Check out this humble bundle for Paizo Inc.'s Pathfinder games. Great games + worthy charities = win-win.

Pay what you want for $360 worth of Pathfinder RPG books (including the physical Core Rulebook) from Paizo & Humble Bundle. Plus, support charity. Learn more!

18/06/2020

Covid has us all locked down while we regroup for our next campaign. Here's something fun I've been working on! We hope to have more fun content like this in the future!

Love, Mike
https://www.dumpstats.com/e/the-adventurers-guide-to-florida/

  A Traveller’s Guide to Florida A lawless, unforgiving land, rife with storms, exotic monsters, eccentric citizens, bizarre events and vicious warlords. But among the danger lies opportunity, treasure, and more importantly… adventure. Tallahassee  Tallaha...

06/05/2020

03/05/2020

03/05/2020

The Dump stats guys are going live join us!

01/04/2020

Listen to us fools on April fools!

https://www.podbean.com/eu/pb-9qqx5-cd6a23

The gang goes off on a news story about genetic modification. Listen to a group of fools on this April fools Day.

31/03/2020

This is is folks! Dump Stats will live on but this story ends today! Say farewell to your favorite characters like KRANDLE, Frail Kevin and Jeff! for the future of Dump Stats! Here’s the grand finale!
https://www.podbean.com/eu/pb-2gf5e-d6933c

Tonight...on the grand finale of Dump Stats, the saga of the Bad Humanoids comes to a close. Jurm addresses his people. Nero calls in the big guns. Sozé leads a charge. Dash faces her destiny. Good night. Good luck. We love you all...Bad Humanoids for life. Music and sound effects from FesliyanStud...

26/03/2020

Here you go folks! Happy quarantine! Only one more episode to go!

https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e56-coda-millennia-viii/

Tonight on Dump Stats... Baphomet is dead, but Jurm is left in the wind...he's LITERALLY plummeting to the earth while Crandle (sp?) takes the helm. Nero faces off against Orcus, while the Planeswalkers rally against Haster. ...

19/03/2020

Boo caught you sleeping during quarantine! New episode has been up all day! Keep your social distance with a
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e55-coda-millennia-vii-angels-demons/

Tonight on Dump Stats... after wading through legions of undead...the Bad Humanoids must now face off against the Demon Lords Haster, Orcus and Baphomet. Things are gonna get ugly. Music and sound effects from FesliyanStudios.com!...

26/02/2020

Lunch break??? More like Dump Break??!? Have yourself a new episode, on me!
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e54-coda-millennia-vi-waking-the-dead/
Bob Beshere John Chenoweth John Kirby Farrington III William John Lavasque Rob Rinaldi Mike Rinaldi Mason Slate Mikey Munday

Tonight on Dump Stats... the Dead march against the Bad Humanoids forces as Akova unleashes the power of Death Magic. Nero has flashbacks. Rax makes an important decision. Sozé makes a rough landing. The Drake's Sigh takes a detour.  The hoards plan to ove...

18/02/2020

You may experience minor turbulence...
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e53-coda-millenia-v-the-eye-of-the-storm/
Bob Beshere John Chenoweth William John Lavasque Rob Rinaldi John Kirby Farrington III Mason Slate Mikey Munday

Tonight on Dump Stats... the Bad Humanoids continue their battle, facing off against Eight Schools of Magic erupting from the volcano Akova. Strap in...things might get windy....

18/02/2020

FANS. This Sunday, we’re recording a Dump Stats: Coda Millennia retrospective episode.

DM us your questions, and we’ll answer them!

For instance: Bob, who was your favorite NPC to straight-up MERC?

29/01/2020

Just in time for your drive home! Part four of our insanely long finale! The real finale is the friends we made along the way!
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e52-coda-millenia-iv/

Tonight on Dump Stats... The Au'Roq unleashes the Octarcana against Candera...and its up to the Bad Humanoids to contend against the forces of the universe itself. FYI the first 24 minutes of this episode is all character stats, ship stats, army stats etc....

14/01/2020

I've always found the phrase "There aren't words..." to be confusing, because I always feel like there are TOO many words to accurately express my feelings.

I feel honored to have had your attention and real estate in your imaginations for nearly four years, as I crafted this narrative.

I feel humbled by the INCREDIBLE roleplaying that John, Rob, and Mike have executed since minute one of sesh one on day one.

I feel grateful for the HUNDREDS of hours that Mike put in to edit our adventure and make it consumable for the public.

I feel indebted to Kirbs and Will for all their technical work in the studio and with story continuity.

I feel fortunate that Paizo Inc. provides FREE resources for gamers like us who want to have a good time and tell a good story.

I feel proud that we have built a small community of fans and friends that continues to grow (be on the lookout for exciting news coming soon!).

I feel overwhelmed by the incredible players, producers, and fans this campaign has had.

I feel. I feel. I feel.

That's all I've got for now because everything is just swirling. We wrapped the last official sesh of Coda Millennia last night. There was joy, there was tragedy, there was a capstone to an 11-year story that began with a simple 4th Edition campaign about the restless undead and a demon prince hellbent on usurping his competition from the throne of the underworld.

Final episodes will be released soon, including a group retrospective episode where we discuss all the things. If you'd like, feel free to DM us any questions, statements, or feelings of your own; we'd love to share them on air.

Thank you to everyone involved in this endeavor and thank you for seeing it through to its completion.

If I truly have earned the "Master" part of "DM," then it's only because I've been surrounded by the best damn gamers, enthusiasts, and listeners one could ever hope for.



Cheers,
Bob

14/01/2020

It’s done.

07/01/2020

First episode of 2020!!!! Hopefully one of the last of the season!
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e51/

Dump Stats is back after a holiday hiatus. Tonight, the invasion commences as Akova erupts. The Planeswalkers have arrived and given a temporary reprieve to the Bad Humanoids, but their defenses will not hold forever. Nero and Jurm assess their new assets,...

05/01/2020

It ends tonight.

25/12/2019

See you in the New Year for the thrilling conclusion to Coda Millennia, and then some new-new content in 2020 including:

• The Best Little Frat House in Santa Ignaçia
• Cap’n Jurm’s Oops! All Trolls: An Alan Davenport Mystery
• Krandleclaus: The Audiobook: The Movie
• A Patreon (give us your money, pls)
• William John William John Lavasque Sings The Hits
• John Kirby Farrington III Sings William John Lavasque Sings the Hits
• How the Shardoq Stole Voskañaar
• Will Lowry And Becky Byers Sing Dash’s Greatest Lullabies (feat. BB Liam)
• Mantlers 2020
• David Harbour Reads Nero’s Spellbook (NC-17; TV-MA)
• I Saw Mommy Kissing The Auroq
• Chess Schmidt Designs Another Amazing Ship We Use Like Once
• Please Stop Doing 3-Hour Episodes So I Get My Editor Boyfriend Back: A Spoken-Word Essay by Marina Lovelace
• Star Wars: The Rise of Crowley
• Mark Miriello Designs 20 Characters in 20 Minutes (Complete with Backstories!)
• Bob Mongolian-Throat-Sings the Encyclopedia (A-C)
• John Chenoweth Can’t Believe It’s Not Cthulhu
• Strider And Gwnn’s Arbor Day Adventure
• Legal And Copyright Chat with Mat Schantz
• Canderran Story Structure: A Children’s Fireside Chat with James M. Barra
• Rob Rinaldi Is So, So Tired: A Memoir (ghostwritten by Andre Agassi)
• Sheetz Appetizer Zampler ASMR
• Mike Rinaldi Reads The Silmarillion in Old English
• Now That’s What I Call Museum Sounds Vol. 34
• Erin Hayesoweth Interprets the Campaign from the Sounds She Hears Coming from the Other Room
• Wizard House Fantasy Football 2019: A Season to Remember, Especially How OMG You Guys Do This for Money? I Am A Literal God (feat. Mason Slate)
• Bobby Scrimps Presents Uncle Nykos: A Life
• Too Close Yet Too Far Away: How We Don’t Know How to Use Microphones, A Four-Year Journey
• How to Actually DM: A Primer with Keegan Gemmell
• Scheduling Seshes: A Waking Nightmare Necronomicon

Thanks to our super-fans and friends of the cast. ❤ you all; Happy Voskañaar to all and to all a good fright!

25/12/2019

Happy Vaskañar to all you Dump Stats listeners! We are taking a holiday break from episodes! We’ll be back after the New Year with the last few episodes of the season! If you don’t celebrate Vaskañar then Happy Honda Days or Toyotathon or whatever you’re preferred holiday car sale may be!

18/12/2019

New ep. dropping really soon. We've got one more sesh left in this campaign, as well. Almost there...

03/12/2019

Simply blown away. “Coda Millennia” by Dee Rax.

03/12/2019

“Coda Millennia” by . That’s Nero, giving the business to the Auroq...
..stay tuned to see if the Bad Humanoids can stop the onslaught...

20/11/2019

Welcome to Dump Stats: Nights! Another extra long episode with special performances by William John Lavasque and John Kirby Farrington III
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e50-coda-millenia-ii-akova-speaks/

Tonight on Dump Stats... Akova erupts earlier than expected and the Bad Humanoids scramble to defend Candera. Listeners are offered a glimpse into another world effected by the Au'Roq... a tale told in three parts.  Additional music provided by FesliyanStu...

13/11/2019

New episode for all you dozen(s) of listeners! PSA: Expect future episodes mid-week instead of Monday mornings!
https://dumpstats.podbean.com/e/s4e49-coda-millennia-the-last-temptation-of-rax/

Tonight on Dump Stats... the Bad Humanoids wrap up an epic Boat Prom aboard the captured Rebel Queller. Later, Jurm suggests a radical plan, and Nero pays a visit to an old enemy and an even older friend. The beginning of the end draws near. ...