BLLx

12/07/2024

Go to NewAmerica.org to register for the event!

15/08/2023

In our ongoing series of experiments designed to give families a fairer and happier division of labor, we turn our focus to new research and a bigger task. Fill out our survey and help us start the work! Check out experiment No. 35: Thinking Systems Change!

A new study shows change within our households may not be enough.

20/12/2022

Women are our culture’s holiday magic makers. This year, let’s give ourselves a break and have the holidays we really need. Haley Swenson writes for the Better Life Lab Experiments newsletter http://newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/this-holiday-season-give-yourself-the-holiday-you-really-need/

20/12/2022

Is there a long-standing tradition you’re secretly dreading or stressing about this year? That’s okay! It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It might just be a sign it’s time to rethink that tradition! Follow these steps to reimagine your traditions for where you are now in life. Remember, it doesn’t have to stay exactly the same to keep its meaning! Full experiment and more holiday tips at link in bio.

10/12/2022

Beginning to panic about the gifts you haven’t gotten yet? Take this stress out of your own head and spread it around your household! Gift giving should be a family endeavor, not just another stress on mom’s to-do list! Link to full experiment in bio.

02/12/2022

Are you brand new to experimenting with the housework and care load at home? So are many of us! Step one, get buy-in for making changes from other members of your household. Here and Haley Swenson draw on experts’ best advice on bringing others into the process—so change doesn’t become yet one more thing you’re carrying on your own.
Have other tips? Share them with us and the BLLx community!

29/11/2022

This holiday experiment is inspired by the fabulous book by Drop the Ball. It’s as simple as an experiment can get. Is some holiday thing stressing you out! Then drop it! You have our permission to opt out and put your feet up. Trust us, you won’t be sorry.

28/11/2022

The holidays are here and for too many moms, that means STRESS. Start the holiday season with a family meeting, an agreement on priorities, and a division of labor to ensure no one person holds the responsibility of creating holiday magic for everyone else!

23/11/2022

Happy Thanksgiving from the Better Life Lab. May your holiday be happy, loving, and involve teamwork and help from all corners, so no one spends it seething in the kitchen!

04/08/2021

What is CPE? Conception. Planning. Ex*****on. The three ingredients to fully owning a task.

This experiment is inspired and backed by the research of Eve Rodsky in her book, Fair Play. Rodsky identifies RATs as a major mistake people make in attempting to offload some of their load onto their partner without giving them proper context for the task they’re being asked to do and without any real ownership over how it gets done. To avoid this, Rodsky applies something that works in her paid work: Instead of just asking an employee or coworker to execute on a task without ownership or context, give them the whole task and much earlier in the process. Let them fully own it by making sure they don’t just execute, they also 1) conceive of the necessary tasks to meet a goal, 2) plan how best to get them done before they 3) execute them. She calls this process CPE. Give it a try and let us know how this compares with the old RAT approach you may have taken to offloading tasks in the past.

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-6-full-ownership/

02/08/2021

Having a healthy meal on the table every night can be a big source of stress for families. Here’s one experiment to help families not only share dinner load but take the stress out of the daily dinner scramble and even have some fun! The goal here is to get the whole family involved in cooking one big meal before the craziness of the week has started and enjoy that dinner a few times throughout the week when you’re most pressed for time.

As always: Make sure to be clear who “owns” which particular mental or physical task involved in getting dinner on the table. Being explicit about this is the first step to making invisible labor visible!



https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-8-big-pot/

By Brigid Schulte Dec. 3, 2019 The BasicsWe’re Trying to Solve: Reducing the daily 6 o’clock dinner scrambleTarget Audience: Families, housematesAges: 3 and upCategory: Household choresEstimated Time: 1 to 1 ½ hoursDifficulty Level: Easy (some prep)Having a healthy meal on the table every nig....

27/07/2021

Though we may say to ourselves, “I’m too busy to spend any time alone,” reported levels of parent burnout during the pandemic (especially for mothers) indicate we can’t afford not to spend time alone. Levels of anxiety and stress have gone up for just about everyone, and the stress is even affecting our physical health. Time to relax and restore emotionally has never been more important. How to ensure that each member of the household has an equal opportunity for much-needed restorative solitude? Swap equal amounts of alone time with your partner or household members. Let us know how it goes!

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-27-swapping-alone-time/

Jan. 19, 2021 The BasicsTarget Audience: Partners, parents, housematesAges: AdultsCategory: LeisureEstimated Time: 30 minutes – ½ dayDifficulty Level: Easy (smaller time interval) – Medium (longer time interval)During the COVID-19 pandemic, households are spending unprecedented amounts of time ...

21/07/2021

Sometimes fixing a small imbalance in sharing the load can have outsized effects, especially for the little ones who are soaking up knowledge and building new habits every day. Teaching kids to start the day by making their bed is what Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, calls a “keystone habit.” It creates a sense of accomplishment that can lead to better decisions and habits throughout the day, and greater happiness and wellbeing as a result. How can you get the whole family to develop this habit? Check it out!

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-16-rise-and-shine/

Feb. 3, 2020 The BasicsWe’re Trying to Solve: The unequal work of navigating morning chaosTarget Audience: The whole householdAges: 4 and upCategory: Household choresEstimated Time: 20-30 minutes upfront, 5 minutes a day for a weekDifficulty Level: EasySometimes fixing a small imbalance in sharing...

19/07/2021

Sometimes it can be hard to put into words all the work we do for our families and households each day. Many household tasks can be put on a chore chart, like dishes or vacuuming. But other things are harder to chart or quantify, such as researching potential new schools for a child or overseeing e-learning. The pandemic has increased this invisible labor—that unseen, unpaid daily work—for everyone, especially women and mothers. In order to make that invisible labor more visible to yourself and your household members, we suggest that all (adult) household members track the responsibility they feel for their household for one week. Try it out by following the directions at this link and let us know how it goes!

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-25-household-responsibility-meters/

By Emily Hallgren Nov. 16, 2020 The BasicsTarget Audience: Partners, housematesAges: AdultsCategory: Mental loadEstimated Time: 5 minutes per dayDifficulty Level: EasyFor many of us, the pandemic has piled up responsibilities at home. The necessities of social distancing have centralized our work,....

15/07/2021

Anyone else struggle to find down time away from the hustle and bustle of it all? How do you make sure you are setting aside time for you?

Research shows that most people have a hard time taking leisure time for themselves. This is especially true for women. They tend to think they don’t deserve it and have to earn it, that they have too much to do, or that they should put others first. But families are happier and work better when they understand that everyone needs time to play and recharge. Here’s something that works for many families, adapted from family psychologist Dr. B. Janet Hibbs:

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-1-leisure-co-sponsor/

Experiment No. 1: The Leisure Co-Sponsor

14/07/2021

Has anyone tried this experiment out yet? If you have let us know how it went in the comments below!

Sometimes one repetitive chore can become so daunting and so overwhelming that it can affect your attitude about everything else on your plate. Laundry is one of the non-negotiable chores we hear the most complaints about falling on one person - one person who ends up totally resenting it. Every week, it has to be done. Even if you keep up with the washing and drying, you’re still left finding time to fold it and put it away. (Brigid’s favorite cartoon, posted in her laundry closet: Three machines. Washer. Dryer. Folder. And above it, the words, “You wish.”) But because laundry breaks down into so many steps, it also lends itself to collaboration better than some.

Here’s one experiment we love, in part because it helps families who don’t have enough time in the day combine a big job and quality time together into just one hour. It can take something daunting and, by sharing the load, transform it into a communal and fun activity. An added benefit of this experiment? You model sharing the load for your kids so they can learn good habits from the start. It’s made a big difference in Brigid’s family. Give it a try and let us know how it goes.

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/experiment-no-5-laundry-folding-party/

By Brigid Schulte and Haley Swenson Nov. 4, 2019 The BasicsWe’re Trying to Solve: The clean laundry is piling upTarget Audience: Families, housematesAges: 3 and upCategory: Household choresEstimated Time: 1 hour or moreDifficulty Level: Focused work for at least an hour, but fun tooSometimes o...

13/07/2021

A lack of childcare infrastructure in the US creates problems that couples have to face when unexpected care disruptions happen. Here are a few tips provided by BLLx’s Haley Swenson and Emily Hallgren for taking on the challenge and maintaining equity in the home. Is anyone already practicing some of these? How is it working out for you? Let us know in the comments!

https://www.romper.com/life/how-to-handle-childcare-disruptions-equally-with-your-partner

Three Tips for Gender Equality From Researchers at the Better Life Lab

22/06/2021

25/03/2021

This month, we're running our first experiment specifically for dads! (But even non-dads could benefit from learning to recognize and appreciate how much your partner does on the home front!)

Giving these challenges times, we're all about small steps that can add up to something bigger. That's what this experiment is all about. Check it out, and let us know what you think!

By  Emily Hallgren March 15, 2021 The BasicsWe’re Trying to Solve: Making partners’ contributions at home better seen and appreciated.Target Audience: DadsAges: AdultsCategory: Mental load, Household choresEstimated Time: 10 minutes per dayDifficulty Level: EasyDads, this one is specifically fo...

24/02/2021

Better Life Lab is highlighting men who value & advocate for equal caregiving and equal sharing at home. Check out (professor and dad of a toddler) William Scarborough's call for a new cultural ideal of fatherhood based on equal caregiving:

Does this resonate with you? What would this new cultural ideal mean for your life at home and at work?

Feb. 22, 2021 My two-year-old is just starting to form sentences, but one phrase he has perfected is “Wake up!” Each night he sits between my spouse and me as we read a few books before bed. Dad reads a book, then Mom, then back to Dad, and so forth. Between turns, Mom or Dad take micro-naps: tw...

18/02/2021

Problem: The mental load is invisible.

Potential Solution: Make it visible with a Mental Load Swear Jar!

Get together, talk about what the mental load is all about, grab some real cash & coins or monopoly money, and try it out!

Once you test it out, let us know how it goes!

Feb. 15, 2021 The BasicsFor: Partners, Spouses, Older Children.Best for Ages: Adults. Older Kids.Category: Communication, Mental Health, Well-Being.Estimated Time: 15-20 minutes per dayDifficulty: Easy to ModerateI almost need a way to assign dollar amounts to these [household tasks]... I need a way...

08/02/2021

Have you tried January's experiment, Swapping Alone Time? We felt this one was so needed in this overwhelming year. If you tried it out, how's it going? Please let us know below!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScBdZKNi14bRgzvJLlTQ-VZEqOFRbaUSbirjB7r9NXIWwvMoQ/viewform

If you haven't had a chance to try out, what's standing in the way?

27/01/2021

Girls Who Code is calling for a to "pay our mothers for their unseen, unpaid labor".

"Two million of us have left the workforce, at a rate of four times that of men in September alone. Millions more have been forced to cut back our hours or work around the clock to keep our jobs and be full-time caregivers."

What do you think? Does this hit home for you (whether you're a mother or not)?

We need a Marshall Plan for Moms—a plan to pay our mothers for their unseen, unpaid labor. Sign the letter.Other countries have social safety nets. America has moms. It's time to compensate moms for all they do to keep our economy, our country, running. Join us, sign our letter to President Biden,...

19/01/2021

Feeling burnt out? Need time to restore? We suggest trying out our latest experiment, Swapping Alone Time!

We're excited about this one... we need it, and we bet you do too!
Try it out, and please let us know what you think! Drop a note here or write us at [email protected].

Ready for some alone time? Here's our guide to make it happen:

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/experiment-no-27-swapping-alone-time/

Jan. 19, 2021 If you're at home and looking for others to talk to about communication strategies and how to more fairly share the new household challenges you're facing, please join our Facebook group for BLLx Beta Testers. We want to make you a full partner in this big experiment in sharing the loa...

15/12/2020

Who's ready to curl up with some good books? That's what we're asking you to do in our latest experiment, Flip the Script!

This novel experiment helps advance gender equality, builds supportive networks across quarantine bubbles, and can give parents a little breather – all by reading books!

Flip the Script was guest written by author, gender equality consultant, and BLLx beta tester Kate Buban Mangino!

Dec. 14, 2020 If you're at home and looking for others to talk to about communication strategies and how to more fairly share the new household challenges you're facing, please join our Facebook group for BLLx Beta Testers. We want to make you a full partner in this big experiment in sharing the loa...

30/10/2020

Wondering how to make fairness in housework and carework a priority during the pandemic? Check out our latest BLLx blog post covering key insights from our recent 'Gender Equality Starts at Home' BLLx Happy Hour!

https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/better-life-lab-experiments/bllx-blogs/keeping-fairness-mission-home-track-during-pandemic/

Takeaways from BLLx's most recent happy hour event.

19/10/2020

Hello beta-testers!

Feeling stuck in a pandemic rut? Ready to break the rut, meaningfully connect with your household members, and get your mission for a fair division of household labor back on track?

This week, we suggest an experiment for your household to create a Ritual of Connection. Check your inboxes for some easy steps.

14/10/2020

One week away! Beta-testers, you are specially invited to our 'Gender Equality Starts at Home' Happy Hour! RSVP today!

We'll learn from diverse experts, share strategies, and brainstorm how we can share the work load at home fairly-- even amid the pandemic. See you there!

Better Life Lab Experiments (BLLx) Happy Hour with special guests -  Fair Play Author Eve Rodsky and Dadventures co-founder Stephen Dypiangco

12/10/2020

Hello BLLx beta-testers! BLLx is hosting a "Gender Equality Starts at Home" Happy Hour next Wednesday!

Our BLLx Happy Hour will feature special guests Fair Play Author Eve Rodsky, Dadventures co-founder Stephen Dypiangco, and our own Research Associate Jahdziah St. Julien.

Join us at this lively relaunch event where we learn from expert advice, share strategies, and hear from YOU about how the gender equality mission is going at home amid the pandemic. Families need support to create fairer households now more than ever– Join us!

Prior to the pandemic, women were bearing more of the load at home. On an average day, women spent 37% more time on housework and childcare than men and were carrying more of the ‘mental load’ to keep their households running. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the work at home has only become more s...

08/10/2020