Speaking In Relative Terms: A Family History Podcast

11/05/2024

With Finding Your Roots – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉

07/05/2024

In the "you just never know" department, I just learned I had a slave-owning branch of the family where 6 of the 9 boys were Union jacks. How did THAT happen? And good for them! I'll be looking into this crew later!

27/04/2024

Does anyone else find Facebook's AI creation to be next to useless? Where is the simple human being lookup these days - on my Android phone, I can't find it. I just get thete stupid AI and it says to ho look them up some other way. Really? That's stupid. I guess I need new lessons!

04/04/2024

Keep this in mind when you think nobody cares. Someone in that string of folks who gave their DNA to you have thought about their future, their descendants.

11/01/2024

Today's question: did your parents ever use pet phrases that today seem odd, but you catch yourself using them? One of our family favorites was "going to bop you in the beezer".

After considering the English slang and Scottish and Irish slang (both in the family), we opted to go with the Merriam Webster version, simply "nose".

Honestly, we knew it meant nose, but we sat here tonight wondering if the American version came out of one of the older languages.

So, what are your pet phrases, and have you any idea where it came from? Did any of you "get your beezers bopped"?

31/12/2023

Once again on the trail of a new cousin. My Swans have been mysteries now for ages. I've made a couple of significant breakthroughs, but still need the DNA and documentary evidence.

So, Swan cousins, 3 or 4 times removed, let's talk! Did you do your DNA study? Let's see if we connect!

08/11/2023

At the hungry squirrel cafe

17/10/2023

I am very excited. After 45 years, a new cousin came into my life that might have some of the answers in my Swan family.

This has literally been decades of digging. It has been a push through Irish records that may (or may not) be available... but this is much more plausible than "one person's hypothesis".

Some of you may have read some time ago my thoughts on my Swan family. I am feeling it... this is about to reveal a great story!

So, before I give details, my new-found cousin and I are going to do some more digging. I will let you know how it goes!

11/10/2023

Game plan: while I'm off the next few days, I'm planning to cook up my 2x great grandmothers' coffee cake. Yep. 150 year old recipe, complete with "sour milk"... I think I will video it and time lapse. Anyone up for an ooooold recipe?

17/09/2023

Genealogist approved!

23/07/2023

Sometimes, there is a bucket list item worth trying.. like a hot air balloon ride!

22/05/2023

Hi, Ann Duncan. Welcome to my page. The podcast has been on hiatus due to way too much going on at home... but I offer stories and comments fairly regularly. Thanks for coming!

06/05/2023

I've been participating in as a fundraiser for cancer research. I've already posted my first 5 writings ( #5 below). Most are on my profile page. If you'd like to see them, drop a DM and I'll get you to the right page.

THINGS TO KNOW

I’ve been ashamed, I’ve lived in fear. I’ve much regret in life, my dear.
Many times my head’s laid low but I still think I’ve far to go.

So, don’t feel bad for me, sweet child. At times it seems, all things grow wild.
In life we have to persevere. We have to learn, to grow, to care.
When misery comes sneaking in, it’s tough to think that Joy can win.

I’ve lost my wits and been inspired. At times, I’ve even been admired.
There were times that I was compromised. Other times I was just surprised.
I’ve been angry enough to break some dishes, then prayed and hoped and sent good wishes.

So, don’t feel bad for me sweet child. At times it seems all things grow wild.
In life we may have to persevere, to learn to grow and even grow to care.
Don’t let misery sneak on in. Be open enough and let Love win.

When last we confront all our past ghosts we’ll see they weren’t the best of hosts.
They let us think we’re not enough, but girl, let me tell you – you too are tough.

So, don’t feel bad for me sweet child. At times it seems all things grow wild.
In life we have to persevere, to learn to grow and even grow to care
So misery won’t sneak on in. You’ve got to stop a moment and let yourself win.

Connie Dexter Spicer
May 5, 2023

02/05/2023

The Dexter and Hibbard Connection: Tracking the Old Folks As difficult as it can be tracking ancestors, our best options are working forward and backward. Our clan, like many others, uses many of the same common first names, but bear with me and I will try to walk you through. I started through vali...

27/02/2023

Checking Information From The Past A Second (Or Third) Time

I was re-reading some of the articles on my 2x great grandfather and his son - my uncle Carl - in an attempt to glean more information and to refresh my own memory.

I re-learned that 2x Great Grandpa George was blind in 1935 - but despite that, he kept in march-step with help from his companions in a parade display of vets from the GAR. He passed on his 93rd birthday, in 1937.

I also re-learned that, despite "remembering" that my great Uncle was supposedly "never married" until he was in his 60's, 2 articles in 1928 indicate he and "his wife" were entertaining family, according to social pages articles.

That said, I'm not entirely sure he was actually married. I've never found a marriage record that fits (except his later life marriage). 1940 and 1950 census records say he was never married. But that doesn't mean he never had a child. And it doesn't mean he didn't marry outside of the US.

I've had a recent hit with my father's family of a potential 2nd to 3rd cousin match out of England.

He doesn't match my great grandmother's family, so I have to go back one more generation. He doesn't match my great-great grandmother's family either.

That narrows it to the men in my great or great-great grandfather's line, based upon the cM's. (I can't do a DNA paint since I don't have his info, but I'm hoping he will respond so we can connect on another DNA site.

This new cousin would be the child of the child born or perhaps even the grandchild of my great grand-uncle or an unknown individual in my father's direct line.

None of the men in my 2x-great grandfather's family went to England... they all stayed in the US and moved further west.

Only my Uncle Carl went to the British Isles in the appropriate time frame. He was in France in WWI, but in 1927 he went to England. Is it possible, he brought a bride to the US? Did she take their child home with her, to England?

The evidence is circumstantial. I have more work to do to prove his relationship, but he LOOKS like family. He looks a bit like my dad, actually.

So, off we go with another mystery!

06/02/2023

This week, the call is out for social media for . I have used it to connect with so many family members in the last 13 years, especially.

While I don't want to intrude into the lives of others, I do want to help them when I find they are interested in our shared history.

Without naming names, I can say that I have added nearly - if not more - than 100 cousins through my research using a combination of genie sites and social media. Many others have been invited and have chosen, for their own reasons not to participate.

Some may ask why I have had success in contacting and staying in touch with them when many get no response at all?

I think it is largely because I take time to introduce myself, I acknowledge our connection and I let them know I will share and teach. Then I invite them to join me on social media, email or by text.

Some I offer a friend request on my side, and leave it to them to decide if they want to accept. Others, I let them know it is ok if they friend me - it is entirely up to the individual.

I'm incredibly happy that so many of my cousins have accepted and correspond. Some say very little, others tap in on occasion, some tell me their family history, and some accept my request that write up a story and publish it on the family website, https://www.dextergenealogy.com

I encourage all who are reaching out to new family to understand how important it is to give first before asking to receive. To listen and read before judgement.

I don't stalk my family members, but consider myself a harvester. Each individual who puts forth their information makes it available for others in one way or another. They are seekers.

All due diligence falls upon us, as harvesters, to use the information discovered thoughtfully, carefully and with great understanding of what it means to the person you have discovered. Not all will welcome your harvest. Not all who seek wish to be found.

Social media should be a tool in our research. But if we are intrusive or rude, we should expect rejection instead of welcome.

Thank you, cousins, for your kindness and acceptance. As always, your comments and questions are welcome.

From Staines and Beyond

18/01/2023

I would love to meet 2x grandmother Mary Dunlap Dexter. I want to know why she founded a club called the 3 O'clock club for women to learn about literature and current events.

She started this group in 1884 and it is still going on today. I doubt she could have imagined that after 139 years, her club would have succeeded to this extent.

In a time of great changes for women, Mary was ahead of her time... as was my 2x great grandfather George.

I want to ask her about all the people in the photo album and daguerrotypes and tintypes she left me through my cousin Dee (thanks, Dee! I'm still so pleased!).

I want to know about the Civil War generals - those photos used to help fund the Civil War through stamp taxes. Did Great grandfather George serve with one of them? Was he the collector or perhaps it was your own father, James Hamilton Dunlap-who also served?

So many questions!

What ancestor would you like to meet and why?

Join us in coming weeks as we explore more about our ancestors.

11/11/2022

Exciting news! I will do what I can to get it on Dayton PBS!

Did you hear the news?! I am so excited and honored to be a part of the new television show, Your DNA Secrets Revealed! But I need your help to make sure as many people as possible get to see this incredible show. Can you help me? I need each of you to reach out to your local PBS station to make sure it gets added to their programming. You can do this by contacting your local PBS station and telling them you hope they’ll air Your DNA Secrets Revealed.

05/09/2022

Working with cousins, especially "over the pond" (no matter which side you're on, physically) can create unexpected challenges! I am working on building out trees for a few cousins who are shared matches - that is to say, they are exclusive matches, one to another. As there are so few of them/us, it will be easier - on the one hand - to trace (depending on the brick walls, of course). But if many of them or their directs are adopted, it will definitely be tricky. Let's see what happens, shall we?

20/08/2022

Few things are as satisfying as having a young person in the family tell you they are interested in the family history.


!

25/01/2022

These images came out of a notebook hidden amongst my mother's things. My dad had put it in their "firebox" - most of the papers in there were not very good... But these are work from my great grandfather, Edward Harvey Dexter. These are copies, so I'm not sure if the originals survive, if he made a bunch of copies (somehow? with color?) and gave them to my dad or what. Unfortunately, none are signed! Boo!

Ed was one of the first Councilmen of the newly formed village of Kettering, Ohio. Some of these drawings were done on the backs of memo paper.

Oh, Great Grandpa, I have plenty of paper to share with you!

03/10/2021

A few years ago, I was totally disconnected from this segment of my fathers' family. Today, this happened. To many people, this is just a beat up old chair. To me, it is more valuable than gold. My great great grandfather, George, came to the US as a 7 year old boy in 1851. By 1856 his family relocated to Lafayette, Indiana. About 5 years later he was fibbing about his age to get to serve in the Union Army. A few decades later, this chair came into his household by way of his work at the newly formed Purdue University's very first president, Richard Owen.

08/06/2021

Hummingbird at our feeder

14/01/2021

Family history - and history in general - is about evolution, growth and the future generations - joining with each other and hopefully, sharing your common past so that your life continues to have value in the present and to your descendants; leaving a life of value behind, It isn't always easy - we're human beings, after all - and today, with the judgment, anger and lack of compromise on all sides we stand to alienate those we love because we refuse to even consider the value of other people. When you pull out your family photos, remind yourself what will go with you when you leave this plane of existence. Because really, there's only love.

28/12/2020

Gen. Winfield Scott-photo from my GGGrandfather's photo album.

27/12/2020

Military photos in my great grandfather's photo album. Now, why on earth would he have a photo of General Winfield Scott?

26/12/2020

This collection of photos comes from an album gifted to me by my cousin, Dee Dexter Hively. The photos therein are a wide array of family photos of the above named family-specifically, James Dexter and wife Elizabeth Hibbard; George James Dexter and (possibly) both spouses, Mary Brackney Nash and Mary Dunlap and their related families - especially siblings of George James who migrated westward to Colorado. More on that later!

If you can identify photos or date the photos or tintypes more specifically, I would certainly appreciate the help. I have an idea as to who many of these folks are but it would be more helpful to have a stronger option than my best guess. Thank you for your help!

11/11/2020

11/11/2020

to our own family today, on 2020

28/10/2020

So, over the past few days, I've located a potential "black widow" in the family! Within 4 years she "lost" 2 husbands and a child. One was a blatant murder, one was "lead poisoning" and one was "acute rheumatic fever". OK, maybe not a black widow, but very unfortunate... Of course, there were 3 more husbands, but I haven't studied them as yet!