Favvy's blog (2024)

26/12/2023

BEING INTENTIONAL AT A CROSSROAD.

Have you ever been at a crossroads before? Having your heart swing in different directions all at once. I can't be the only one here who has suffered the excruciating pain of having to make a really difficult choice.

Last night, I felt the pressure to choose between something I wanted badly and a particular of my principles. If I were to choose this thing I wanted, I'd be breaking a promise made to myself.

God knows at that point I wanted to eat my cake and have it, but things don't happen like that, do they?

There's this force that compels us to crack under pressure and it is intense. Before you know it, you're deep into it, it is not a joke to have to choose between what you want and what you know is right by your standard.

The only way I was able to pull through last night was via the thought of my laid-down principles, I thought long on what to do and the fact that I had a rule against it, guided me.

I woke up this morning happy I didn't give in.
What principles govern your life? Are you specific about your do's and don'ts or do you just go with the flow?

Dearest reader, If you crack under pressure you have no strength, yet it is via God's grace and a disciplined mindset you can overcome.

🖤.

25/12/2023

INCONSISTENCY IS LEARNT.

At first when my coach mentioned this to me, I just shrugged and then smiled.

"What harm will a few days of not being consistent do?" I thought to myself. A lot of harm apparently.

Once a writer isn't always a writer, just a year back I could write really good love poem and then I stopped, an attempt at writing in that line currently will be really difficult if not impossible, that's what inconsistency does.

Well, long story short, I had this particular daily task, I haven't been able to keep up with it for a few weeks now and trust me, initially I had really strong reasons for being inconsistent with these task, now it's just laziness since my mind had already adapted to being inconsistent.

Funny enough, motivation and positive confession doesn't help in this case. The knowledge that I've got to get back to these task hadn't helped me start, same way beating myself over it didn't still help.

Today I happened to motivate myself so much, backed up with a zillion positive confession quote, in the end i'd go to bed without doing it.

Dearest reader, inconsistency sucks, and it's a disease. It all starts subtly and soon the impact blows on your face all at once, fueled by laziness and excuses. But when you notice the symptoms or see the warning, oga take heed.

Merry Christmas❤️
🖤.

24/12/2023

INVITE CHRIST.

"In preparing for Christmas we often lose sight of the reason for the preparation", Mr Karo.

Today I was told a story, i'd like to retell it.
Imagine a case scenario, a birthday party was held for you, without inviting you to it. How will that feel?

There's this excitement we all get close to the Christmas period, the anticipation and preparation for the celebration, but somehow, somewhere in between we lose sight of the intent of the cause.

Why do we celebrate Christmas? What's the essence? As Christmas is celebrated in remembrance of the birth of Jesus Christ, thus, there's need to acknowledge the celebrant.

Dearest reader, in spite of your celebrating don't leave Christ out of it, celebrate Christ in a way that pleases him rather than in a way you are engineered to via society.

🖤.

23/12/2023

ABOUT SEEKING VALIDATION.

During the just concluded Empowered camp meeting, I was one of the speakers in the panel session. One of the questions we were asked was, "What are some of the problems young persons like yourself face in our generation?". Myself and the rest panelist answered to the best of our knowledge.

For me, I spoke about how we seek validation as young people, but due to time factor I wasn't able to fully do justice to this point. Now, seeking validation is a common thing in our generation, as people see it as a way of expressing themselves.

Imagine doing something stupid and then go online to find a quote that resonates with that stupidity or makes it seem okay. As young people we want to be shown that our feelings are valid, in psychology this is called confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias is a systematic tendency that we actively seek only information that confirms our belief and reject/neglect/ignore information that disconfirms our beliefs.

Once upon time, I suffered from academic validation. It didn't really seem like a problem initially until it really turned out to be. While it had it own positive effect in making me focused, the negative impact outweigh this. Funny enough, it started subtly, down from crying when I'm not topping the class to attempting su***de for not doing well at my UTME Exam. This taught me that seeking validation can be toxic.

Young people going through a lot of changes, and tend to have a need for confirming their untamed dam of overwhelming emotions. It's normal to seek validation yet an unhealthy amount or seeking wrongly may become too dangerous.

Dearest reader, what sort of validation do you seek?

🖤.

22/12/2023

LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

At work today, my boss sent me on an errand, I wasn't familiar with the area so I went with someone. On our way, we came across this water body, immediately I sighted it, i was mesmerized by the view.

"Wow, this looks so beautiful, I wish I had a good camera to capture this scenery", I said with a large smile. But the person with me saw it as ordinary and asked what I was amazed at.

The point is, everything boils down to perspective. Myself and my acquaintance had a different point of view and hence, the scenery took different meanings.

It is best to view things from all sides. While she have seen this view multiple times because she lived close-by, I was seeing it for the first time. Our environment/experience has a way of shaping our perspective.

Just this evening I told my sister a story of what happened to me few days back and my interpretation of it, then she reminded me of the, "View all sides of the coin" thing I always talk about. From her analysis using a perspective opposite to mine, it shocked me how wrong I was.

Now, from this two experiences encountered, I relearned a lesson. There's 3 sides to a matter, try as much as possible to see things from others view and then you'll find it easier to understand people.

🖤.

21/12/2023

WHAT ARE YOU LOYAL TO?

This morning I visited the market to get some stuffs. I was in an hurry, yet it surprised me how I had the time to search for the particular person I get things from whereas they were other places that will be closer and faster.

What stroke me was how loyal I was to these sellers that it was almost impossible to buy things elsewhere. Loyalty is one great quality.

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, loyalty is the state of being faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product. Often times, we find ourselves dedicated to a certain cause.

My writing coach will not use any other pen aside Bic, so he's been loyal to Bic pen for a while now. As a business person, having loyal customers regardless of how small they are will go a long way in boasting your business.

Dearest reader, what are you loyal to? What or who will you go the extra mile for? And why is that?

My coach will tell you that the word, 'original' is encrypted in every Bic pen that's why he's loyal to the brand. We all have our different reasons for loyalty.

What or who you are loyal to, defines certain of your attitude and there's a reason behind the loyalty.

🖤.

20/12/2023

EMBRACE GRATITUDE.

"When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable." Myles Munroe.

Mind you, purpose in this context is synonymous with meaning, importance, value. We do this as humans, where we disregard a thing because we do not know the value it holds.

I have a really good friend, he's literally at my beck and call, I hardly wonder how he manages to show up when needed. And not until I got to know he'd be traveling miles away, did it dawn on me that he had a his own thing going on. We want people to be there for as, ask after us whereas we hardly pay attention to their tiny yet important details.

Did you know it is an abuse to exploit someone's time with no appreciation? I didn't either. Have you ever wished you were nicer to a person just before you don't have the opportunity to meet the person again?

Value persons who show up for you, you would never know what tomorrow brings. Be grateful for the time people devote to you, trust me, there's a plethora of things they can productively use it for.

Dearest reader, embrace gratitude. I'm a little sad yet happy I had to learn to value his time.

🖤.

18/12/2023

FACING FEARS 02.

Recently, I've been having a lot of first attempts you know. Down from making my hair to speaking as one of the panel speaker at a camp meeting, yet so far it been good and enlightening.

We learn everyday. Before being called to stage for the question and answer session as a panel speaker, I was so anxious ehn, I even began running temperature out of anxiety and fear.

The thought of getting up stage and having my brain go blank was a nightmare, it even had me shivering.

And then I was called upon, I did my little silent prayers and put on my perfect public façade whereas my heart was literally in my mouth.

Funny was how I didn't really have to brainstorm much when the questions were asked, I was just human and myself. This did help with providing me with the eloquence of words to express myself well.

Indeed, it was an amazing experience.

Now, I can motivate you to attempt facing that fear, emphasis on 'attempt'. When you start planning to do something you haven't attempted, you plan to fail.

Start with an attempt and it will all fall into place by God's grace. I'm certain to do better in my next attempt at speaking to a crowd.

🖤.

17/12/2023

IGNORANCE IS NO LONGER AN EXCUSE.

In the words of Esther Paul, "Ignorance is no longer an excuse", this struck me.

Our generation has no excuse for why we shouldn't do well, for if our parents knew better, they would've done better.

There's this thing we do where we tend to blame everyone and everything else aside from ourselves for our mistakes/misfortune.

Now, if you are still ignorant with the easy access to information we have in our present time, then it is on you, gone are the days where ignorance was an excuse.

Lack of information is danger in itself, you cannot afford to be uninformed. The quality and quantity of what you know, has a long role to play in who you are and how far you'd go.

Dearest reader, invest in your knowledge and whatsoever you consume.

🖤.

16/12/2023

DON'T JUST EMBRACE...

Often times, we are advised to take in pain as it comes, 'Embrace the pain, don't complain'. As much as this is important, it also is necessary to evaluate/investigate the pain and it source.

A journey of a thousand mile start with one step, trust me, that isn't an ordinary step. Before you are to take that one step, you must have prepared beforehand for all the 'shege' that comes with that path.

Dearest reader, just before you take that one step, just before you embrace that journey, do well to deliberate on the pain it will cost you. Sit down and count the cost.

I made my hair for the first time yesterday and it was bloody(extremely painful). This is something I had expected, though it exceeded my expectations, at least I knew what to expect.

Prior to now, I had battled for weeks with preparing my mind to bare the pain and it wasn't easy, yet it had already been evaluated so I did pull through.

There's need to embrace the pain but also, ensure you evaluate it.

🖤.

15/12/2023

BEAUTY IS PAIN.

You see that thing they say about facing your fears, omor, today I tried it. Well, make I nor sha catch the person wen quote am, because blood go flow.

I decided to make my hair for the first time since forever to empowered camp tomorrow, plus the plenty pressure from friends. After much motivation I did attempt the su***de of sitting down for several hours for someone to twist and bend my hair.

Honest to God, it was hell!!!
I tried really hard to not cry but then the pain was too much. Good thing I didn't visit a saloon(I for chop knock tire), my neighbor was frustrated as I kept screaming each time she held the hair.

I knew it would be very painful given the nature of my hair and soft scalp, but none of my imagination could meet the reality of how the pain was. Even as I write this down, I'm still in the endless torture of coping with the pain.

Next time someone tells me I can do it, I will just dash the person slap. The final product of the hair is really fine, but the pain didn't seem fair, though it was. Even after the hair was done, the pain still resided.

This brought me to thinking about the different fine hairstyle I use to admire, as I thought of the pain ehn, it made sense. The beauty demands not just your money, but your time and energy as it will also cost you so much pain.

I really would've given up before the hair was made, but I had already programmed my mind that it was a necessity.

Dearest reader, that beauty, that glamour, that prize or award that you seek will cost you. It will cost you more than your money, the process to attain it will kill you in fact, but you must survive it via crossing your heart.

Today I understood that determination will not ease the pain and facing your fears isn't a joke.

🖤

14/12/2023

THE THING ABOUT ASSUMING.

Hello there, how did your day go?
My day was amazing, I did spend quality time with one of my best persons. We were basically indoors all day long as we caught up with various stuff.

Well, on my way to her place, I boarded a tricycle(keke). Given that I hadn't been there before, I told the driver the location she gave me so he could stop me there.

"Sir, I'd stop by the Funcare hotel", I said. The driver retorted that he didn't know the place, and all at once the other people in the vehicle questioned in shock because that was a famous hotel along the road. The driver's reply to this was that he didn't have any business to do in a hotel, he said this with a disgusted expression.

At this rate, I already understood what he was driving at. A young girl dropping at a hotel, what comes to mind? I just laughed in my head at how quickly the driver assumed.

Funny enough, my friend's place was just beside the hotel. When I arrived I told her the story and she wasn't surprised, "That's how they do", she said.

The driver had perhaps thought I was going to the hotel, which if I were, was none of his business. It is somehow to just conclude about a person who you don't know.

Don't assume, and try keeping to your business.

The thing about assumption is that, when you assume you make a fool out of yourself.

🖤.

13/12/2023

WHAT YOU DO, WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING.

"Greatest Indication of Your Success Is What You Do When No One Is Watching", John Wooden.

When no one watches, what is it that you do?

Oftentimes, we are hypocritical, we put on this 'good person' façade in public, and what we do outside the view of others is evil.

Our true character is what we do, and how we act and behave when no one is watching. In Civic Education it is called integrity when it entails doing the right thing.

No matter the effort you put into creating an illusion, it is what you do when no one is watching that really counts.

Success at a point isn't all the glamour we see it as, but rather it's an entity that is birthed in a secret place. Therefore, a large percentage of what you do when no one watches, has a long role to play in your success.

Dearest reader, who are you when no one is watching?

The moments that define who we truly are, are created when no one is watching.

🖤.

12/12/2023

EMBRACING, YET NOT BECOMING IT.

You see that thing people do, where they become evil because something evil happened to them, I find it quite dumb.

Don't become your negative experience, transcend it. You begin to live an illusion when you allow the attitude of others or the negative effect of some experience dictate your standards.

Don't stop being a nice person because someone took advantage of your kindness, instead, take the lesson and then channel your kindness towards something/someone worthwhile.

If you suffered an heartbreak, don't lock up your heart and turn into something you weren't in the first place because of the pain of recovering.

Change is good, it's one thing that's constant and it is normal for pain to change you, yet it is wise of you to dictate how it accomplish that.

Often times, when we change our personalities due to an experience, it is simply allowing our emotions control us rather than move past the hurt from the experience. Don't fool yourself by thinking that in changing your personality negatively after an experience, then you've moved past it or healed from it.

Dearest reader, let the healing from that heartburn/traumatic experience change you positively and don't allow the pain change you negatively.

I've seen people go from being the kindest souls to being heartless after an heartbreak, and that's an error.

Pain can be good and evil, it's dependant on the person's reaction and interaction with it.

Embrace the pain, don't become the pain.

🖤.

11/12/2023

LESSON LEARNT.

"Learning the lesson isn't going to eradicate the pain, but the lesson will regulate the pain", Mr. Pojomatics.

Today I misplaced a work phone, we are yet to get it up till now and it just hurts so badly, how it all happened still leaves me fazed. As I headed to the motor park to send down a waybill, I boarded a vehicle(motorcycle), and before we got to the park I realized that the phone was no longer in the pocket I kept it.

This was frightening, I stopped the driver, paid him, and immediately traced the road back to the office and still didn't find it. As the crybaby I was, my eyes were beginning to bring out water, but crying will not get me back the phone so I cleared my eyes.

When I sat down to evaluate what happened, I saw where I messed up. I was on my mobile phone while the motorcycle rode, that's only how something could fall out of my pocket without my notice.

The pain I felt was a lesson, I wasn't going to try that again, at best I'd be more careful next time. But the fact that I've learned my lesson doesn't take away this pain, the lesson learned won't get the phone back, but it will help me avoid such an occurrence again.

The essence of a lesson is to avoid the repetition of vices and embrace virtue.

🖤.

10/12/2023

MAGNESIUM TRISILICATE MIXTURE.

This evening my dad sent me to get a drug by the name, "Magnesium trisilicate mixture"’, I knew the drug very well, but since I was concentrating on something else, I wasn't able to get the second/common name for the drugs.

You wouldn't believe I visited over 5 different chemist stores and all claimed to not have the drug, I was fazed. I racked my brain on what exactly the ubiquitous name for the drug was but it wasn't forthcoming.

As I stopped at yet another mini drug shop to ask for the same drug, the other name just came to mind. Firstly, I called the correct name, "Magnesium trisilicate mixture", the seller said he didn't have it and when I called it, "Mixt. mag", he went mad as to why I had to call it another name.

I tried explaining that I couldn't remember the common name at first, but he just saw it as me trying to form, "Know-it-all". That wasn't true, but I couldn't force him to understand my reason so I just bought the drug and left.

If I were to explain, 'I for explain tire, no evidence' so I just rested my case.

In this life, people will misunderstand your intentions and that's fine, even you have misunderstood someone before. Get used to that reality, you can't please everyone.

Even I saw all the previous drug sellers as 'dumb' given that the drug's name was boldly written on it.

Merry new week
🖤

06/12/2023

THE FAULT IN OUR SELVES.

Nobody wants to be bossed around.

Today I was told a story about an organization. This organization had two managers, manger A was constantly receiving resignation letters from those who worked under him, whereas manager B never had an employee resign.

Dearest reader, what do you suppose is the cause of the people's inability to work with manager A? Could there be a reason for the frequent resignation from manager A's end?

In the word of Mr Paul, "There is a thing line between management and slavery and it isn't defined by the manger but rather via the attitude of the employee". When people are constantly unable to work with you, it means there is something wrong with you.

As leads, it is so easy to dismiss the persons under us without regard, yet there are some of these person that no matter how huge the pay is, they can't handle certain treatment/display.

You can't keep replacing people. It is my claim that not everyone can be replaced, therefore there's a need to treat people right.

Often times, when we manage people, we make it a job to lord over them, be bossy and make their path harder, which in the end may not turn out well for us.

There's this tyrant feel of having power, the funny part is how we hardly see that we are more of bosses than human.

Treat people better, with regards and spread love. Note; not everyone can be replaced.

🖤.

05/12/2023

EXPERIENCE ANALYSIS.

"Experience isn't always the best teacher, evaluated experience is!", X.

In our individual lives, the worth of unevaluated experiences encountered daily is simply priceless. We go through stuff every day and in between lies fractions of experience meant to be evaluated.

Without evaluating an experience, no matter how big it is, it still is nothing. Two persons can experience the same thing yet based on extensive analysis, one can derive so many lessons from it.

What you do with a thing is greater than the thing itself. All through this year, I documented every important experience I had as a way of analyzing them and deriving lessons. Down from Utme experience to Post Utme experience and many others, these serve as feedback for every other journey.

Therefore, the value of an experience lies in the evaluation/analysis of the experience. You can't learn from mere experience but rather evaluated experience.

🖤.

04/12/2023

EXTRA-ORDINARY.

"I still do not believe that my regular effort or competence alone will be enough to succeed", Jonathan.

Success from my point of view is more of the process than the product, and like Mr Pojo would usually say, the path is bloody, the prize is shiny.

There's no shortcut to having something worth having, you can't stumble upon success by chance, it's just not possible. Therefore, it takes more than the regular you, to attain and sustain success.

Success as an entity requires an extraordinary version of you, the process of getting it is the most essential as it molds you into the being that can sustain it.

If you do what everyone else is doing, you'll get what everyone else is getting, to want a better outcome entails stepping out of your comfort zone and being 'extraordinary'.

Everything has a required amount of effort and no matter how much effort is applied, if it doesn't match the required it is as good as nothing.

The regular every day you can't attain that height you've envisioned.

🖤.

03/12/2023

WHAT MADE THE DIFFERENCE?

Hey there!
Merry Sunday, I trust that you had a good day.

Mine was awesome, I've got a very very short story to share with you.

I have two friends, and while I'm friends with both of them, they don't like each other and are never in agreement. Well, today I had this huge task to carry out, one I couldn't do alone.

I needed more hands, but they were both the only people available and willing to help out. So we met up and worked together, and in between all the stress, they bonded and became good pals.

This surprised me greatly given the level of hatred they shared before. We all went home exhausted yet in high spirits from the time spent together.

Here's the essence of the story; all these two individuals needed to get over their differences, was simply to spend quality time together.

Dearest reader, spend more time with that thing that you really don't like and see how biased you've been.

🖤.

02/12/2023

THE THING ABOUT LYING.

What is a lie?

A lie is simply something not true and often times, it is said to be the opposite of the truth. And just the same way darkness is said to be the opposite of light, which isn't so, so is a lie said to be the opposite of the truth.

I came across a piece that explored the concept of darkness being a form of light rather than the opposite. Well, this write-up isn't about that, but instead to look at the concept, "A lie". Why is it much easier to tell a lie? Why does a lie come with so much ease?

Have you ever told a lie and afterward wondered why you did because the truth wasn't so hard?

It is my claim that a lie isn't the opposite of the truth but a form of the truth. Before telling a lie, you5 must firstly start by convincing yourself to believe it and that's why is comes so easy and natural, for in the process of convincing yourself to believe the lie, you become one with it.

After lying to yourself, the lie becomes a part of you, thus out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speakth. As a retired professional liar, I will tell you this for free.

There's no way you would be able to convince someone on something you don't believe.

Note that, the difference between a lie and the truth is most times minute/tiny. A lie as a form of the truth simply is a disorganized or perhaps rearranged version of the truth.

01/12/2023

DOWNSIDE OF HUMANS.

"People management is one of the hardest jobs in the world, you have no idea how many mad people are walking around with phones in their hands in this country", Bolanle.

I couldn't agree more with the above statement. Humans can be the annoyinest(If that's a word), and as a customer service rep, I will tell you that for free.

My job as a customer service rep isn't a difficult or tasking one but, you see humans with their inability to listen to simple instructions have made it one hell of a job, leaving me with migraines every day.

As humans, we want to be heard even before we attempt to listen, we scream at the tiniest discomfort and throw baseless accusations at innocent people with the business of helping us. Both you and I are guilty of this.

So today as I ended yet another annoying call, I thought to myself that if I were in the person's shoes I would've reacted the same way. Hence, I resolved to not be irritated as I swallowed the unnecessary shouts and complaints in good faith.

You know, the funniest part of this job is having to listen rapidly to their life story (complaints that have absolutely nothing to do with you).

Nobody wants to be told what to do even if it's for their own good, hence, with the realization that I would've acted like or even worse than my callers if I were in their position makes it easier to deal with them.

🖤.

30/11/2023

OUR RELATIONS.

I watched a Nollywood movie a few days ago. This movie managed to mirror the place of quality non-sexual relationships in one's growth journey.

We can't do life alone, it is just not possible. There are people you'd come across that will help you get to the top. Even God uses men to help men, so the ideology that you can do life alone is just re****ed.

I feel everyone should put effort into creating quality non-sexual relations, and invest in their relations as they intentionally and deliberately define their crowds.

To have people come through for you whenever and however you need is a huge blessing, do well to value the ones who show up for you and also do show up for others.

Treat people and relationships with the same regard you'd love to be treated, without expecting the same in return.

🖤.

29/11/2023

WHY CONDEMN?

There's this thing we do where we
condemn people in the wrong, while ourselves has never been placed in such a situation.

"Why did you let that happen?", "You could've just walked away", "What were you expecting being that close?".

We judge, discriminate, and paint ourselves righteous all to the fact that we've never been in such a place.

You can't assume you've got a killer self-control when it has never been put to a test. In a real messy situation you'd find out how useless motivation could be.

So if you've never experienced bad or wrong, don't judge one who fell into it.

If you've never been at a crossroad don't judge someone who happened to pick the wrong path, because you will never know what it feels like to have your heart sway in a different direction at the same time, if you've never experienced it.

Love and not condemn.

🖤.

28/11/2023

IMPATIENCE.

In our today's world, everyone is in a hurry, we want things sharp sharp or at the speed of light. But often times this has some negative impact.

Just yesterday evening on my way home from work, I stopped at a Pos stand to withdraw transport fare. Given that I don't have an ATM card, I transferred to the Pos attendant. From my end it was showing 'Successful' yet she hadn't received it.

This was the first time I was encountering such with Opay, so I stood waiting for a while hoping the money will drop but it didn't. Out of annoyance I left that Pos to another one, did the transaction smoothly and received my money Asap.

As I boarded a vehicle home, I received a message from the first Pos attendant(Cause I gave her my number) saying that the money had just dropped. I felt really angry because it wasn't long since I left her stand, if I had only waited a little longer, I wouldn't have had to wait till I resume work tomorrow to get my money back.

Well, on getting home my friend told me a similar story of how he managed to destroy his bathroom because of impatience. According to him, the bathroom needed a plumber, he called one but the guy wasn't forthcoming so he attempted it himself, only to do more harm.

This costed him twice the initial price when the plumber finally arrived.

We were both in an, "Had I known", situation. While he paid twice the supposed cost based on impatience, I had to wait till next working day to get my money.

Don't attempt to be faster than your shadow, when we are in an hurry we often make a mess of things which in turn cost us something.

🖤.

Favvy's blog