15/10/2025
Hello everyone. I haven’t introduced my husband, Eric, on this page, so here he is. I’m not hiding him or anything; he’s on my personal page often.
This is a great time to talk about why I finally got married to help those who are at that part in their life.
I came across a video the other day about marriage and it said men marry when they have clarity and women marry based on age/timeline. I couldn’t agree more with it.
In my 20’s, I had time (du***ss self), so I took my time. I stayed in relationships that were below or at the bare minimum because I’ve always been independent anyway. I’ve always expected myself to get the things I needed done. Trust me, I assemble and load everything I sell on FB marketplace lol (cries in Hmong).
I’m a “simple” person, lmfaooo. I mean, I don’t care for fancy or expensive dinners. I don’t need anyone to pay for my trips or bills. All I want is hikes/active hobbies, homemade food, a clean home (counter free kitchen), and bills paid. However, just because I don’t ask for anything else, doesn’t mean that’s all I should get though. The “wishlist” is simple so that my partner doesn’t “fail” in my eyes lol.
As I reached my 30’s, I realized, “dang, if I want kids, I might need to get going.” I was in a relationship that wasn’t on the same timeline or took too long to be on the same timeline. My ship sailed because I chose happiness (whatever that is) alone over a relationship. It was also cheaper :P. I focused on increasing my credit score, work/career, and saving for a house and ultimately buying a house.
Then I met my husband and he changed my view about marriage/commitment.
Turns out, I had just been with the “wrong” people.
He accepted me for everything I was (like being extremely clingy, attached, and wanting physical affection all the time) and am (wait, I think? Lol). I’m obviously an approachable and friendly person, but he was able to decipher me in my secret “language” ways. We shared a lot of the same values, ethics, and discipline. Then I realized he was also tall :P.
Something I struggled with often is his help. I wasn’t used to someone who would just complete a job/task without me. I’m also annoying when I try to inject myself with a job/task he’s doing too. I’m a major backseat driver lol.
The biggest difference I saw in him was how he handled my "masculinity." Growing up in a family of seven girls and three boys, without an older brother, the girls became masculine. The relationships before my husband always made me feel like I was intentionally being an "alpha" in the relationship. But with my husband, I never feel that way, and he never feels that way (I think? lol, jk!). My success, trash talk, backseat driving (lmfaoooo), pettiness, "independent women" moments, "men ain't s**t" lmfaooo, and view on life do not bother him. He's able to take it all in, and it allows me to transition to be a very feminine and soft person. I wasn't able to be that because I felt like I was always fighting lmfaoo or taking charge. Ultimately, I found someone I can trust with my heart and who can be a safe place for me.
The few questions/observations I had were
- Would I want to be stuck on an island with this person?
- Would I want to be on the same headstone with this person? Lol
- Is this the person I want to have kids with?
- Is this the person I want my kids to model after?
- Do I constantly need to tell/remind this person “right” from “wrong?”
If you’re at this part of your life, I hope those questions will help.
📸 ThorPhoto&Film
