06/04/2019
What They Could Have Said by John Bonner
Three and a half years ago, we implemented a policy regarding the LGBTQ members of our church and their children. In our Handbook of Instructions for ecclesiastical leaders, we stated that same s*x couples are to be considered “apostate.” Historically, apostasy was defined as being “an enemy to God.” In the modern church, apostasy has been defined as “open, public, and repeated opposition to the church and its leaders.”
In the policy, we recommended that disciplinary councils be convened for church members living in same s*x relationships, with the potential outcome being excommunication from the church.
We went on to specify that children living with a parent who was in a same s*x partnership would not be able to be baptized or confirmed, receive other church ordinances, attend the temple, or serve full-time missions until they reached the age of 18. We further imposed the condition that upon turning 18 they would be required to “specifically disavow the practice of same gender cohabitation and marriage” in order to become members of the church and enjoy the blessings inherent in church membership.
At that time, Elder Christofferson said of the policy change, “This is about family; this is about love and especially the love of the Savior and how He wants people to be helped and fed and lifted, and that’s the whole motivation that underlies our effort.”
On January 10, 2016, President Nelson declared:
“Filled with compassion for all, and especially for the children, we wrestled at length to understand the Lord’s will in this matter. Ever mindful of God’s plan of salvation and of His hope for eternal life for each of His children, we considered countless permutations and combinations of possible scenarios that could arise. We met repeatedly in the temple in fasting and prayer and sought further direction and inspiration.
“And then, when the Lord inspired His prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, to declare the mind of the Lord and the will of the Lord, each of us during that sacred moment felt a spiritual confirmation. It was our privilege as Apostles to sustain what had been revealed to President Monson.”
Over the course of the subsequent three and a half years, we have witnessed the effects of this policy in the lives of our LGBTQ members, their families, and loved ones. We have read the accounts of the despair it has caused -- even contributing in some tragic cases, to the devastating decision by some LGBTQ Latter-day Saints to end their lives.
We recognize that myriad factors are involved when it comes to su***de, including underlying depression and anxiety, possible alcohol or substance use, physical ailments, strained or distant family relationships, pervasive feelings of loneliness, rejection, and hopelessness.
We also recognize, because we have been listening, that a deep sense of shame and unworthiness stemmed from this policy and the majority of the church’s rhetoric which preceded it on the subjects of s*xuality and gender identity. We now know that such feelings of shame and unworthiness can become the treacherous underpinnings of life-threatening despair.
We can no longer, in good conscience, continue to perpetuate the sense of shame and despair created and reinforced by our past policies, practices, and teachings.
Effective immediately, the policy change which first came to light on November 5th, 2015, has been revoked. No part of this policy will continue to be implemented.
We wish to express, unequivocally, that we were wrong and we are sorry.
We realize how woefully inadequate those words are in the wake of the unfathomable pain, grief, and loss which arose out of this policy, but we hope they can offer a meaningful place to start.
Our hearts go out, above all, to the parents, partners, siblings, and friends of the beloved LGBTQ Latter-day Saints whose lives were cut tragically short. We are aware that nothing we could say would ever fully assuage your pain or atone for our past ignorance and misunderstanding..
If you will allow us to, we would welcome the opportunity to sit down across from you, face-to-face, to hear your stories and bear witness to your pain. Our doors will remain open to you for as long as it takes to find some healing amidst the heartache. We hope you will continue to share your stories with us until we can begin to forge some way forward, together.
We are learning as we go. We implore your patience as we seek to do so.
You are our teachers. Our hearts have been changed and will continue to change.
We believe a brighter, more inclusive tomorrow is in store for our church and its diverse membership across the globe.
We are invested in never returning to the limited understanding, bias, and faulty assumptions of the past.
We will be offering counseling services at no charge through available mental health professionals in your area to any who may benefit from having professional assistance in working through the pain behind by this policy.
We will be donating a considerable amount of our time, financial means, and other resources to help create safe spaces for LGBTQ individuals throughout the world who have been made to feel unwelcome in their homes, places of worship, and communities.
We invite other religious institutions to join us in seeking to create welcoming spaces for all.
To our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, please forgive us. We have hurt you. We have wronged you. We recognize that any process of reconciliation and restitution will take time. There are not words sufficient to address the anguish you have experienced. But we wish to express again, to each one of you, that we are sorry.
We hope we will have the opportunity to tell you that in person.
The halls of our meetinghouses and pews of our chapels have been less vibrant without you in them. We have missed your vital voices, your presence, your unique and varied perspectives. We welcome you to come back and worship with us. And we will understand if you don’t, or can’t. But we want you to know you have a place here.
You are beautiful children of Heavenly Parents who love you unconditionally. We failed to see that before.
We see you now.
You are worthy. You are loved. You are enough, exactly as you are.
As we strive to entreat you in building beauty from ashes, we promise to never forget that.
