Mr Critic_zw

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15/09/2023

Baba Hararekuma story kwenyu kunopedza data vamwe tatova addicted

vamwe tinevakadzi muchatipisisa nemafuta😂😂😂😂

Welcome to Zimbabwe😂😂-We call every toothpaste COLGATE!We don't care😂 😂 😂!We are like that😂 😂 😂!-We call every insectici...
29/05/2023

Welcome to Zimbabwe😂😂
-We call every toothpaste COLGATE!
We don't care😂 😂 😂!
We are like that😂 😂 😂!
-We call every insecticide DOOM!
We can't help it😋😋😋!
-We call every detergent SURF
It's in our DNA😜😜😛!
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who's sitting there”?
We are like that🙅🙅
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️!
We use our mouth and our hand to knock at the same time "koh koh koh" Who's in the house🙅‍♀️
We are just like that.
-When ZESA⚡ takes Electricity, we go out and, check if it's the whole
street!
We are just like that🙅🙅!
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a sim card
We don't have a problem🙈🙈🙈!
-We buy something, skip instructions & ask neighbors how it's
used!
We don't care😂🤣!
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it before walking away.
We don't trust anybody, not even a machine that is made by man😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣.
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before walking away!
We are courteous 😂🤣😂🤣🤣.
-We turn off the volume just to smell what's burning,
-We are like that😂🤣😂
-We can't change, the way we are 😂👍
-We are 😂😂🤪zimbos
🏊🏊😂😂😂
When We are inside a bus and the driver takes an unfamiliar route or turn, we all remove our ear phones to see clearly 😂😂😂.

We are Africans😂😂😂😂😂😀

RULES TO TEACH YOUR SON1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.3. The man at the BB...
23/05/2023

RULES TO TEACH YOUR SON
1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Request the late check-out.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
9. Play with passion or don’t play at all…
10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.
15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
18. Never turn down a breath mint.
19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
22. Eat lunch with the new kid.
23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
25. Manners maketh the man.
26. Give credit. Take the blame.
27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
28. Write down your dreams.
29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you.
30. Be confident and humble at the same time.
31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
32. In all things lead by example not explanation.
33. Dress how you want to be addressed
34. BE BLESSED BY BEING A BLESSING

Please follow my page Mr Critic_zw for more updates!👈👈

THE BANANA BOYMoral Story Of The Day.A frail old man stopped a young boy carrying a bunch of bananas, and said to him."C...
22/05/2023

THE BANANA BOY

Moral Story Of The Day.

A frail old man stopped a young boy carrying a bunch of bananas, and said to him.

"Can I get some bananas for free? I'm really tired and hungry"

The young boy dropped his bunch of bananas, pulled three off it and offered them to the old man.

But the man frowned his face, as if they were some pieces of crap.

"Oh, no! They aren't ripe!" he grumbled. "How I'm I supposed to eat these?"

The boy was taken aback by the old man's attitude, but said humbly.

"I'm so sorry sir... Uhm, I've got some ripe bananas at home. Why not wait here while I get you some?"

"Hurry up then" the old man said.

The young boy carried his banana bunch and dashed off. He returned shortly with three big ripe bananas. He smiled as he handed them to the old man.

But the ungrateful old man had a look of discontent flashing across his face. He wasn't impressed at all.

"Good grief! Why would you bring me over ripped bananas...? Boy, you should know I'm an old man and these will upset my stomach"

The boy became confused and worried about the nagging old man. He said.

"I feel sorry that I'm unable to please you sir. But what else would I do?"

"Just bring back the unripe bananas. I'll have to keep them until tomorrow. Hurry up, my legs are hurting" he croaked.

In the hope of pleasing him, the young boy left in a hurry. He came back in few minutes with the first bananas. But the old man became angry.

"You really are a slow kid! I've lost my cravings already and I no longer need bananas. Just go with your bananas!"

The boy shuddered. But he was surprised at what the old man did next. His wrinkled face broke into a smile, then he tapped his shoulder and said calmly.

"Boy, the most valuable lessons in life cannot be taught, they must be experienced. You should know that all the bananas you presented to me were perfect but my ungrateful attitude was an act I put on to teach you a valuable lesson of life, something I learnt too late. In life

Nadah Pachiputukezi AlbumNow available on all digital platforms here is a link to your favourite platform https://ampl.i...
03/05/2023

Nadah Pachiputukezi Album

Now available on all digital platforms here is a link to your favourite platform https://ampl.ink/nadahpachiputukezi

Mambo Dhuterere has shown he has mastered his art on this album
VANASANIBHARATI

This song speaks of people undermining you and it speaks of trusting in the Lord

I rate this song 8

KUCHEMA RUDO

This one speaks against domestic violence and the curses which come when your partner shed tears

This one ndoipa 9

MUPEI MUKANA

haaaa this one is a master piece and its speak against child marriages in the name of religion

Apa pakataurwa zavakadzama and i rate it pa 9.5

DZIKISA MUNYENGETERO

Is a petion of someone akuda kudzidziswa kunamata against the ills of the world apa he drop a notch because it has removed the dhuterere we have grown to know so apa i rate it a 7

Overally the album is good and ndoipa 8

Good album Mambo may God continue using you to be a voice for the voiceless

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