Roel McNoel (2024)

27/12/2023

Guess the year. Man have really grown ❤️

18/06/2023

Things are very costly now o. Imagine a kilo of "I love you", which used to be "I love you too"
is now "MY GAS HAS FINISHED" . what is the cost of i love u in your area😂😂😂😂😂

14/06/2023

If you know u know

10/06/2023

Maths no be my mate abeg

10/06/2023

THE DEVIL I KNOW

Last night i was with Tunka, he showed me a big bag with cash and told me it was money given to him by one Alhaji for the construction contract he won. It was part of the payment. Little did i know it was counterfeited, i also didn't know Tunka stole the money from a set of cult boys. I don't even know how he did it but he always does the impossible. Tunka told me to dress up, that he wants to take me out. Per the kind shege wey a don see, I had to agree. He removed a bundle of money from the back and told me to follow him. We went to an eatery that wasn't far from the house. I was so happy because i had not eaten since morning, and was even so happy because i know Tunka have never done such a good thing for me. We got to the eatery, ordered different types of food and drinks, The bill was 53k. We ate and drank till our satisfaction, then Tunka told me he wanted to go and handle the bills. After a while, Tunka didn't come back. I wasn't that worried because i saw him at the counter handling the bills. After i was done taking my last drink, i tried calling him but his phone was off, so i just decided to go and meet him home. I stood up and took the way to the exit door.

Sales girl: Sir, ( walking towards me with a piece of paper) Your bill.....

Me: My bill????

Sales girl: Your houseboy told me you will handle the bills. He said you send him to go home and run an errand for you...

Me: Ma, he was the one to handle the bills, He's not even my house boy and, He bought me here, I thought he....

Sales girl: ( Seeking the attention of the security guards) Security, , security, come and handle this guy, he doesn't want to pay his bill..

Any ways if you care to know what happened to me, I haven't seen outside for almost 2 months now. I just wash plates indoors and every evening they bring garri for me to soak. Tunka will never change😭😭😭. Its the devils work. I don't know why i always believe him😭😭😭

08/06/2023

Feast OF THIEVES, The saint of HEIST

The story is in a developing village setting, with entrusted leadership in the hands of mayors. For almost 5 decades now, only one family have been leading the village. The present mayor is super rich and have turned the mayorship to a family business, where he extorts and exploit the villagers. His last son protest and doesn't want to follow the wicked footsteps of his supper rich family. He Tries to change them to good and helpful people. Had to steal from them to help his villagers. He continued doing this and his dad got fade up and disowned him. Few years later the dad passed away leaving his elder brother in charge of his properties. The elder brother fearing his younger brother will revolt and take the property away from him planned his ass*ssination. The attempt was termed successful by the ass*ssin's as one would have thought he was successfully burnt in the house after those heavy blows and punches from them. He was safed by a stranger, who coincidentally is also a thief. After he was healed, He ( Stranger) mentored him more own heist and how to conduct them more successfully. He was also trained to know how to defend himself and protect people around him. He became a master of Martial arts after also learning from a very good master. He brought an ignition of vengeance and swore to redistribute the stollen wealth enjoyed by his family over the years. He ventured into the community where he made friends with some brave men and few honorable thieves. They sat together, feasted together, Leading many heist in the community. They Will steal from the rich politicians and distribute the wealth right at the door steps of the poor villagers. Will the saint of thieves succeed in this quest for a feast???

Let's watch out:::;;;;;;;;::::::::::

07/06/2023

MR. SETUP

It was still far from over when I saw Tunka Running with 2 big live chickens. I stopped him and ask:

Me: Tunka, this one you de run with chicken, Weti happen?

Tunka: Na for that poultry down the street oh. Them say any body wey fit carry chicken, reach house wey e no cry, automatically own the chicken. Just go there tell them sey na you send me. and you go see how de go appreciate you.

Me ignorantly, I ran to the poultry farm. I saw the manager outside and the staff of the farm. Everyone seemed unhappy. To me, maybe they are just shock on how a person could carry 2 chickens, and run that fast without them making noise.( Tunka was a master. He can even carry a TV while u are watching and u won't even notice it)

Me: ( laughing) Oga manager, e shock wuna abi?

Manager: What are you talking about, and please who are you?

Me: ( still laughing)That guy wey carry wuna 2 chickens, na me send am. shey e shock you?.

Manager: ( Now laughing) Chaiiiii, oga, you get mind oh. Ano even know sey na so God de take do miracle. So you send person to come tiff from us, still get mind to come report yourself. Oga you don try niii. ( To the security). Take him to that cage where the chickens were stollen from. Ago find ye buyer tomorrow.

It was at this moment I knew what Tunka did. I started begging and pleading with them. telling them it was a prank. No one believed me. I know you reading won't also believe me. But it's ok. One day na one day. Ago do Tunka back.

If Sabi na name, call and na me go answer. My name na Roel McNoel

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07/06/2023

GHOST RUN

Tunka Sabi run ehh. Ever since we joined the police force, the money they were paying us was just 41k. So we needed to Expand our hustle. Tunka suggested we should open an illegal control post at one junction in his village. Tho I had heard stories before about that place, how witchcraft is practiced there and how many foreigners are afraid of the place, I still bought the idea of the hustle. So the next day we mounted a road block at the villages junction. The hustle was going well and paying fine. I even started calculating in my mind how I could buy a car and build a house if I continue like this for 2 years.
It was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon when we saw a guy dressed in white with a face that looks like it have been painted white. He was carrying a Casket with cotton on his nose like a dead man. I alerted Tunka and he just told me not to worry, That it's a prank. Immediately I started hearing some strange sounds but I remained calm and summoned courage to see what will happen. The person approach us and we stopped him..

I and Tunka: ( unanimously)Hey Hey, Oga stop. where you dey go with that Casket?

Stranger: Officers, wuna de see me?

Tunka: Who you be and where you de go with that Casket.

Stranger: Officer, where them bury me before a no like am. I want go bury myself for another place.

Before I could blink an eye, Tunka had already dissapeared. I tried to follow but I couldn't feel my legs. i couldn't move even an inch. It was at this moment I knew Tunka have finally k!lled me.😭

If Sabi na name, call and na me go answer. My name na Roel McNoel

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06/06/2023

This morning. I was with Tunka, I saw one of my uncle (Uncle Chidi) that once promised me a bicycle when i was a kid.I told Tunka how uncle had always promised and failed. Tunka just laughed and reacted like he didn't hear me. We greeted Uncle chidi and he waved at us and went his way
The next morning, it was around 11 o'clock a.m when i heard a loud bang on my door. I was surprise so i started thinking if offended anybody or even owe anyone. I wasn't owing any one, neither was I a trouble maker. I asked who was on the door and Tunka answered affirming he was the one. I became so angry because i know Tunka never knocks at my door before entering, I just had to subdue the rage and face the trouble Tunka was bringing. I opened the door and was terrified by the mass gathering of almost all the kids in my area. I didn't know what the surprise was yet as I saw uncle chidi standing behind them..

Tunka: Ehhhh Noelus, uncle wants to see you.

Me: Good morning uncle...

Uncle Chidi: eh, morning... I know you are fine as usual. I just came to ask you, How old are you???

I started wondering if it was my birthday but in my mind I knew wasn't.

Me: ( smiling) uncle today is not my birthday. and am still 26....

Uncle chidi: so you even have mouth to smile. Are you not aware you are an uncle?. ( pointing at the kids one after the other). See Edwin, didn't you promise him a phone, is it Anna here that you promised to buy her shoes. you promised all this children something. why haven't you gotten them yet.

Tunka: uncle he even promised to buy joy ur daughter a car...

uncle chidi: Ohhhh, and he still have mouth to say i am stingy. ( pointing at a small bicycle standing behind him). This is the bicycle I promised you. Today, you must buy my daughter a car.

Uncle ordered all of them to enter my house and collect anything they see. Tunka even collected all my cloths and boxers. I am homeless and clothless at the same time oh. Tunka have finished me

05/06/2023

After planning to show Tunka pepper, I took all my servings for 3 months. There was no food in the house so i wanted to treat Tunka bad. I went to a Barbeque spot where i both one large barbeque fish. I bought one big Holandia, and went home.
When i got home, Tunka greeted me like never before, my responds signal they was trouble for him. I brought a large tray and big cup. I poured the Hollandia on the cup and spread the large barbeque fish on the tray. It was well garnished and captivating. I was sure Tunka's nose couldn't take it any more as he started salivating.

Tunka: Noelus, Noelus. My guy afar na?

Me: ( singing timaya's song and munching). Hmmm... This life i can't kill my self....

Tunka: My guy make a bring plate?, hope say no be because of that thing a do u yesterday day make u dey behave like this. Na play that time na.

Me: Oh, so na now u come know sey na play. Me sef this enjoyment na play. A no even dey wicked like you. Take this 500naira go buy garri chop.

Tunka was disapointed but he really was hungry. So he took the money and went out singing( with God, ago make am....) I just laughed and continued waiting for him to bring back his garri let me beg and add to the barbeque. (Yes i know, i am greedy).
10 mins had gone by and Tunka wasn't back, so i started wondering what could be the problem. Soon i heard a loud cheer from the street. It sounded like a crowd celebrating something. I dropped what i was eating and went to check. I saw people lifting and cheering someone from a distance. I couldn't see so clearly who that was, so I asked someone near me and she said, the guy whom they were cheering won 100million from bet9ja. I went closer to join in the cheering, behold, it was Tunka. I shouted..

Me: Tunka, we don make....

Tunka: you and who?. Thank you for the 500. No worry ago give u back once a collect my 100milla.
Tunka have finish me ohhhh😭😭😭

If sabi na name, call and na me go answer. My name na Roel McNoel

04/06/2023

Tunka will not kill me. Just this morning oh, I was on my own, Since today was our school rags day, Tunka suggested we should should dress rascally, and go out to hustle for money. Here in Owerri na normal thing for students na. I was reluctant at first, but when i thought of the garri i will drink in the evening without sugar, I had a rethink. We went into our various rooms to wear our rags and paint our selves for the hustle. I tore my nice Chelsea Jersey since it was already a sign of failure, stained it with some ash and charcoal. When dressed up, i wore the craziest display of a madman. I then came outside to meet Tunka. I was so shock, Tunka just wore his fine, grey, jeans trouser and folded one leg with a singlet. Me on the other side looking like a competitor for the madmen in town let the way for the hustling. We went pass our street and then through the market. It was at this moment i started hearing whispers around.

Woman 1: Mama Ejiro, e be like sey another madman don add for town again oh??

Woman 2: My sister, a tire oh. But a think sey doctor Nnamdi be still dey carry all this people for ye hospital. make we call people to help us carry them go there na.

Me: Mummy I am not mad......

Woman 2: ( To woman 1)Chaiii this one sabi English even. En be like who go school. Na wow oh. Just see as all this ritualist don waste this one e destiny.

Woman 1: Make a go gather boys to come help us carry am to doctor Nnamdi.

Tunka: Mummy a fit help oh, make a hold am for u.

It was at this moment i knew i was alone. Tunka already unfolded his trouser. He was looking so decent. Tunka pinned me down like bobolo, while the first woman called some boys to join Tunka carry me to the doctor.
I am still trying to convince doctor Nnamdi that i am not mad. He ask me what the nearest place to USA is and i answered USB. We are making progress

If sabi na name, call am and na me go answer.
My name na Roel

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03/06/2023

The other day I was with Tunka walking back home after a long night vigil. It was about 2:30 am and every where was so quiet and so dark. It was just then that we remembered how we were casting the devil and shouting " d!e by fire" in church. I even went as promising to bury the devil by myself in church. Omoh everything just flashed our mind like it was time for reckoning. We still had about a 30 mins walk to get home. How could we get home shivering like those dug up from ice. Omoh na fear cause am oh.

Me to Tunka

Guy, you dey see weti a dey see so?

Tunka: weti na, baba no de shake this table....... U no know sey fear de catch me?

Me: De go na, me a no dey go again. Abeg Jhor lets go back to church.....

Tunka: you de mad nii, follow me for back

Me: Tunka, something de move for front.

Tunka: weti na, a no de see anything oh.

Unknown voice from our back:
So you de see our oga eh?

At this moment i hard to turn, because i knew only i and Tunka were on that path. To my greatest surprise i saw nobody and as i turned to face Tunka in front, I only saw a thin shadow, disappearing in the dark. Chaiii, Tunka can run. I had no choice than to face the unexpected👹👹👹👹

Guess what happened🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

If Sabi na name, then call and na me go answer. My name na Roel.

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Roel McNoel

27/12/2023

18/06/2023

14/06/2023

10/06/2023

10/06/2023

08/06/2023

07/06/2023

07/06/2023

06/06/2023

05/06/2023

04/06/2023

03/06/2023

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