Partum The Mess

28/09/2022

Even if you didn't understand what the heck they're talking about ❤️

Be a listener.

18/07/2022

Never enough

In our society, a mother suffers guilt no matter what she does.⁣
⁣
If she’s on top of her kids making sure everything’s okay, she’s called a helicopter mom, and if she lets them run around as she sits on the side talking to a friend, she’s neglectful.⁣
⁣
If she prefers cooking from scratch and organic everything, her kids are “going to go crazy on junk food when they go to someone else’s house.” And if she feeds them donuts and muffins for breakfast some mornings because she’s in a rush or "just because," then her kids are unhealthy. ⁣
⁣
If she breastfeeds and doesn’t produce enough milk, and her baby isn’t thriving, then she’s a failure. But when she adds formula, she’s more of a failure for not giving her baby all breast milk.⁣
⁣
If she stays home with her kids, she should be working—"how can her family financially keep up?” But if she's working, she's met with "they're only little once."⁣
⁣
If she hasn't lost the postpartum weight, "gosh, she let herself go." But if she did, "wow, she must not eat, spend hours working out, and neglect her children.”⁣
⁣
In a society that knows “everything” and places too many expectations on moms,⁣
If you listen to everyone else,⁣
you’re always going to fall short.⁣
⁣
So, DON’T LISTEN,⁣
and stop feeling bad for your choices.⁣
⁣
Throw those internalized unrealistic expectations away,⁣
and do what’s best for you and your family.⁣
⁣
It’s called “your family” for a reason.⁣
⁣
Besides, if you love your children and try,⁣
you’re a good mom.⁣

📸: angelica.ch.r....................................................⁣
Words by Living FULL

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Repost Living FULL

18/07/2022

🤦‍♀️

13/07/2022

You know you're a mom when...

I was taking notes via sp*ech-to-text and didn't notice this about my shopping list until later😅

13/07/2022

We got a from Chillbo (now AKA "the green hammock" at our home) and it may have been one of the best investments. The kids love it. We have a hanging hammock that they love but now the Twinkies have a hammock ( ) and mama and daddy have a hammock.

Have you ever had something like this and struggled filling it with air? Though I watched the YouTube and attempted the clear instructed methods I still struggled . But my husband had an ingenious idea!! : Fill it with the output end of your vacuum or an air pump!

☀️

21/06/2022

Who needs clothes? 🤷

15/06/2022

What do I say?🤷

17/05/2022

🥰 I love solids. I feel happy watching him eat. This isn't a statement of how everyone should act. But I think everyone deserves to know options to make informed decisions for their family. I am very grateful for the guidance from .
*Disclaimer: tho we are trying to follow we may not be perfect. But we are aware of what not to give him yet and watch him closely.

13/05/2022

💯

⚠️ 🚫

09/05/2022

I often reflect on where life takes me and often thank God for letting me intersect with Jessica and Codee . NO exaggeration, I would not be the mother I am without their positive influence. I am more informed, confident, long suffering, loving, kind, and compassionate because of what I have learned in my association with them, individually and collectively.

I started with the hope to encourage parents to have courage and confidence in themselves and their ability to resource/network ( ) to find answers along the journey... and through my many hours of research, listening, interviewing, and sharing I have received by what I hoped others would gain.

Motherhood is HARD ( ) and I am grateful for the support I have received during this *WILD* ride.

I have not always felt the easiest to love but these two magnificent women have made it seem so easy. They have brought strong, lovely young men into this world who are my Twinkies' best friends, (I am excited to see how little lady and Swiss get on, Codee), and care for my kids like their own.

we wouldn't be the same without you.

07/05/2022

Handyman in training 🔨🔧🛁
We are so grateful for my father-in-law coming at a moment's notice to look at a water leak in our furnace room and broken bathtub. 💧
He has taught my husband so many things over there years and now Buddy is riddled with enthusiasm to learn too!

04/05/2022

I am getting really good at using my hands for things I wouldn't have thought. But it's all good. Happy early hot warrior mamas.

28/04/2022

. This girl is my example of how to . She is full of imagination and anything can be anything. I love her energy and passion.
"You can do it!“ is her mantra to anyone. So this is for you Mama, you can do it!
She bats her eyes without guile and her smiles lights up the room.

25/04/2022

says "eat more broccoli, broccoli, broc, broc, broccoli! 🥦"

Thanks to the Solid Starts app we felt confident attempting this with Squeaker tonight. 🥦

He loved exploring it! *We* are still learning to like it (as Kids Eat in Color says).

🥣We are JUST starting food and I'm here for it! Tonight was SO fun seeing him explore the food 😍.
We are changing our game from last time we introduced food. I'm not ashamed of the approach we took last time and I believe we did our absolute very best. But the beauty about learning is you are not required to do what you did before... in fact it should be encouraged that we change when we want to and know better.

And if you don't know who Pamela Pupkin is, do yourself a favor and look her up via Laura Clery

18/04/2022

The second ➡️is probably my favorite 😆.

I'm still trying to figure out traditions that won't set a precedent I can't continue. But some things I like and WANT to do.

I love matching outfits (the theme for the kids was pink but it's difficult to tell) and making special food for holidays. I've learned that food is a way I express creativity and love.

I'm grateful my kids are young and fairly flexible, I'm also grateful to be learning about myself and giving myself grace to do things different than when I was young and different every year.

Ultimately I'm grateful for Christ allowing multiple chances for change, grow, and learn. I know He understands the drama, trauma, and grind experienced every dang day by parents.

I'm really practicing going with the flow and reframing my mind. I had a lot of opportunities to do this today. Between planning outfits and prepping for church we had miscommunications and opportunities to combat fault finding. There was stress about possible potty accidents at church and not being prepared despite preparation. In the end of things that I was worried about didn't end up happening, I attempted to value the peaceful moments and beautiful music and accept my situation and trust that I could work with whatever what happens. We had a blowout right before this picture but we still got done what we needed to!

24/02/2022

It's been a long day, what time is it?

24/02/2022

I know everyone is different and we change as we have more kids. But I things there are definite stages I've seen with my kids. ie: moving out of my room, getting out of the crib into a bed, sitting at the table and not the high chair, using family dishes not kid dishes and cutlery, potty training, riding a bike...
Sometimes they have progressed faster than I have been emotionally ready, but I can definitely see a progression for me and I think it is interesting.

I'm certain I forgot some, what milestones do you have as a parent?

22/02/2022

But why tho 🤦‍♀️🤔🧐

22/02/2022

Well said

When I think of intimidation, I think of a boxer intimidating their opponent. This ain’t what I want for my kid. Our kids are not our opponent.

Connection over intimidation family! Every time! Trust me it is easier said than done but I’ll keep repeating this until it’s second nature.

22/02/2022

I would have enjoyed that.

21/02/2022

With these snowy days thank goodness for indoor parks. Anyone else's kids have to get out?

Honestly it is a toss up which is more work: packing up and going out, running to the bathroom while keeping an eye on three kids, eating while out or getting back before getting too hungry, and comforting owies while dealing with other people and pushy kids...or being at home 😂😭

21/02/2022

I am trying to change the words I use. CLEAR COMMUNICATION

19/02/2022

❤️✌️👍❤️👍👍👍

Thank you Nedra Glover Tawwab, Therapist] !!!

Posted • Nedra Glover Tawwab, Therapist] Relationships can be salvaged and repaired when people are accountable and willing to change. ⁣

Whether children are under 18 years old, or adults, they benefit from an apology, words of affirmation, and changed behavior.

⁣

15/02/2022

This is interesting! If you're disinterested in getting call phones yet but want a way to contact them check this out.

15/02/2022

I came in to this in the kitchen "I don't love you to touch my magnets!"

Same, sis. 🤦‍♀️ It is super obnoxious to have them take all the magnets off our fridge including what the magnets are holding up.

15/02/2022

Ugh. 😭Bedtime after dropping naps.😭feel me? Does it get better?
I'm someone who likes to know what will happen to be prepared and I wasn't prepared for the excessively early tiredness and excessive tiredness, meltdowns, and repeated bathroom runs.

How was dropping last nap for you? Ugh, naptime how I miss you 😭😭
A sort of bonus is we have more time at night for our own things BUUUT now I just want to go to sleep with them at 7:30 😂.

P.S. we are still working on quiet time! Thanks for your ideas! They are doing better (🤞) at staying in their room at night.

11/02/2022

🙌 😜 Reeeeeally I'd rather NOT go through everything, but it *is* a good opp.... .
Anyone else's kids so helpful?! 🙄

10/02/2022

Wow, 2 years later...
We find we are still dealing with messy eating (I mean ... I'm their mom...) but it is amazing for Phil and I to reflect and see the control in movement in using utensils and motorskills. Sometimes it takes seeing a memory to see the progress.
Original post on IG on Jan 21, 2020

09/02/2022

Ridiculously true. It's really tried us recently. I've tried methods of having designated times "we all" pick up, ignoring it, or rage cleaning up. Ultimately nothing is perfect so I'm just 🔥 everything...

JUST REMEMBER it's ok that your house looks like it's lived in... especially with kids.
AND, if you come over you will know I'm always being authentic with you.

08/02/2022

I thought I'd be a pro 🤷‍♂️

08/02/2022

Oh my goodness. Going places with kids is...an experience ?

I feel like a baller. I'm glad I had this little guy with me for our outing tonight (we went to the tonight). Our Twinkies went potty in it before and right after (no icecidents 🙌-see what I did there?😂) and then right before leaving for home (we were ). Then one of them 💩 in their underwear...so I cleaned it up (thanks self having extra bags in the car) . Then another needed to 💩 so we put the bag in the little potty to catch more. Then after leaving one needed to p*e so we pulled over again. MAN it was rough, and MAN I'm glad I had it.

Navigating events as a parent is rough sometimes.

Shout out to all the 💩 warriors out there rocking potty training.

06/02/2022

How many of you needed this reminder too? ✋😭❤️

Thanks Big Little Feelings

🌪🌪🌪

06/02/2022

Then someone in the comments said, "Yes! And then we carry the shame we felt as a child into adulthood so it can manifest in all sorts of unhelpful ways. Helping children be OK will ALL of themselves will create healthy adults and a healthier society."- Kristina Bruce

What do you think? Agree/disagree?

I appreciate the commenter's two points and see it in my life. Thoughts don't have to be acted upon and they don't have to be shamed.

04/02/2022

I had the opportunity to meet with Anna from Prenatal Insights IBCLC for a consult for Squeaker's latch. She helped me realize some things about his latch and lip/tongue tied, and I learned that around 3-4 months milk supply turns from hormone driven to demand driven. If the baby does not have a good latch the supply can wane.

I'm grateful for the information and references from Anna and recommend you reach out to her if you have questions. She has the ability to meet digitally and you can check if your insurance is accepted on her site (linked in her bio)
Also, check her out in our podcast episode (found wherever you listen to pods🎧👌) or here: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucGFydHVtdGhlbWVzcy5jb20vUlNTL3BvZGNhc3QucnNz/episode/aHR0cHM6Ly9wYXJ0dW10aGVtZXNzLmNvbS9lcGlzb2Rlcy9zMl9lMTAubXAz?ep=14

Make sure to see the last picture to see the cutest pic of Squeakers

PC: Britanee Jean Photography

03/02/2022

I took Swiss with me to the store and my husband texted with me as we were leaving the store... Kill me 💔😭❤️ "I asked Buddy if he was bored and he started crying lightly and said "Yeah..." and I asked him if he missed Swiss and he cried a little harder and said "Yeah...." and I asked him if he needed a hug and he cried a little harder and said "Yeah!" "
These two ❤️ I don't realize how close they must be or how used to being together they are until they are separated (or "threatened" to be).
They are SO different in personality I was surprised.

02/02/2022

I am going to be clear, I don't pretend to be qualified to say much on this subject. But as it is when I saw this post I thought it was helpful.

Some other helpful resources we also recommend are learning more from Let’s Talk Sis ; listening to our podcast episode with one of the hosts of that page, Chante Season 1, Ep 17 (linked below) Diversity and Inclusion for the Next Generation. Chante kindly and beautifully articulates ways for us to teach our children to be advocates and allys; and listening to/following .basis (she may be on Facebook but I know she's on IG)

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucGFydHVtdGhlbWVzcy5jb20vUlNTL3BvZGNhc3QucnNz/episode/aHR0cHM6Ly9wYXJ0dW10aGVtZXNzLmNvbS9lcGlzb2Rlcy9zMV9lMTcubXAz?ep=14

We celebrate Black history every day over here, but here’s our BHM challenge with 28 ways to make it an intentional ! We hope you’ll accept! ✊🏾

02/02/2022

What women really want! What others would you add?

Funny to get this post from HowToBeADad and have a Guy tell us what we want😆...but if the shoe fits 🤷‍♂️

Too bad they taste like chalk and broken promises.

02/02/2022

So what now???!?!?! Soliciting ingenious, loving suggestions.
Buddy and Swiss get out of their bed ALlLllLlL the time recently and NOW Buddy showed us tonight he can open this kind of lock. SoOoOooo 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ we can't even put it in the inside of the bedroom if we wanted to.

Attempts to keep them in their room. Have included: cuddling in their bed with them, sitting in their room until they fall asleep, I'm sitting outside their door. Some have worked better than others, but none of them are sustainable.

Don't get me wrong! I love how smart my son is proving to be, but COME ON!! Mama needs a mental break. I feel like and . (yes, my daughter is smart too, blah, blah, blah don't *worry* I see it, that's just not what's causing this post 😉).

01/02/2022

ETA: PC: Jessica Rushing da Roza I'm so sorry I forgot to tag you. Thank you for taking Squeaker's blessing day photos!

Blessing day for baby Squeaker. I have SO much gratitude to have been surrounded by some of the people who love us most in a home we love to be in. This was a beautiful opportunity to contemplate on the blessings I received from the people in my life and the blessings it was to meet them.

In our faith, people (usually as babies) have an opportunity to receive a blessing early on in life. It is filled with direction and guidance. I think they are beautiful. As a mother I love hearing the words and am grateful we have them recorded and written for our reference. So much mystery in these little people. I'm SO grateful they are part of my family.

Also, out of 10 shots we had one, 1, ☝️, with them both looking and I feel grateful for that. You feel me? I usually am grateful just to see their faces. 😄 Pictures are rough sometimes but kids don't hide their personality and that's a gift.

28/01/2022

So, showering your floor with p*e is isn't normal? I learned this from a Pelvic Floor therapist while pregnant, but SoOoO many women think they have to live with that. OBs don't often talk about pelvic floor therapy. I say there should be a therapist meeting with every mom at your first appt in pregnancy and in recovery at the hospital/birth center.
I only learned about PFT from course.

If you aren't sure whether to go, DO ANYWAY. It never hurts to get an assessment after delivery (no matter the type). And getting in early pregnancy is really a good idea too. They can set you up with exercises to help you through your pregnancy and strengthen areas of pain (I addressed a weak pelvic floor, round ligament pain, and scar tissue from my appendectomy and ).

Post delivery the PFT diagnosed my diastasis recti, addressed my weak pelvic floor/tenderness, and gave exercises to strengthen my core. She also helped me understand better how to do exercises with diastasis recti and some common misunderstandings.

Whether you have symptoms or not I really encourage you to go, even if it's been years since having a baby. If you have insurance, check your insurance to find somebody who accepts it or and go. I have only gone two or three times each time and then was given things to set me up to do at home, so it doesn't have to be a forever thing.