Within the Triad Podcast

05/07/2022

Sometimes I get blessed enough to work/mentor/meet moms who are going to place, but haven’t yet. And every time it affects me deeper than working with those who have already placed. It’s as if I’m next to them, reliving my own placement. My heart breaks the same, the pit in my stomach is the same, and the need to go and hold my children is the same as when I walked out of that hospital in 2015.

Something is to be said about their strength though. They muster up something to stand up out of those waves that pull you under. It always inspires me to do the same, to fight harder against the current of grief. So here’s to reminding even the newest of birth moms that you make a difference. We aren’t heroes because we made a decision, birth moms are heroes because they impact the community of other birth moms, they show us we’re stronger than we think, they remind others to keep standing up and keep pushing through because land is so close. 🌊

24/05/2022

Seven and a half years ago I never thought I’d have what I have now. I had made the guilt I felt from not being able to raise my daughter spill into my future and convince me that I wasn’t worthy of this. I now get to go to bed with my husband, who accepts not only me but my past decisions and my daughter I placed. I get to tuck my other two babies in bed and kiss them goodnight. They will never know what that small moment each night means to my heart.

But last night, we talked to our four year about her sister who she has never met, adoption is a weird thing. Being a birth mom means learning to navigate life after and celebrating the smallest happy moments in your journey. I worry regularly about how the girls will feel that they have a sister that isn’t in their lives and one day they may be angry with me, but tonight I’m choosing to celebrate and cherish the kindness and love this smart baby of mine has 💗 she accepted it with no problem and instantly talked about her like she’s known her forever. It’s the kind of acceptance and grace that we should all strive for in adoption and outside of adoption.

11/05/2022

Let’s talk grief ✨

In adoption there is grief on all sides, every single person experiences it differently but this coming week we’re going to discuss it. So remember that in adoption the grief is rooted in love, but to break the stigma we have to talk about the negatives as well 💗

Stay tuned 🎙

09/05/2022

We started this podcast in hopes of giving others a voice, educating on all the things within adoption-not just the good and not just the bad. It’s opened my eyes to the fact that for every person their emotions are a little different than the next. However, there are a few things that remain consistent.
❤️The desire for respect, love, and the best for the adoptee.

So since we did a small week of how to honor and respect the birth mom, drop a comment or send us a pm and let us know, for YOU, whatever part of the triad you are, what would make you feel respected and loved within your adoption?

08/05/2022

❤️This sweet girl came along three years and three days after I gave birth to the daughter I placed for adoption. I didn’t know if I could handle it, I was upset that my oldest would be mad because I had another child that I planned on raising. But she showed me that it’s possible to love more than I thought I could, that it’s possible these tiny humans can heal a persons heart. She saved me, she forced me to grieve and heal so that I could be a good mama to her. Nobody prepares you for life after placement or the feelings of having a child after. They are complex, but I wouldn’t trade it. Now I have her and baby sister and love all THREE of my girls because they each made me a mama in their own unique way.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there, despite the pre text. You’re worth celebrating ❤️😘

07/05/2022

Today is the day 🎉 It’s Birth Mom’s Day! So hold that special person close and let her know she’s not alone. She’s strong. And she’s worth celebrating because of who she is, not because of her choice.

Below are some quotes sent in for this day:

“To every birth mom who was courageous enough to put the needs of your child before your own despite your broken heart, never forget how special you are and hold your head high always.”

“To S’s Birthmom, I am so grateful that you gave your daughter life and cared for her as best as you could while she was in your womb and afterwards. You also stayed in her life as long as you could, so I know she is and always will be important to you. She is an absolutely amazing little girl and one day I hope you get to know her!

To C’s Birthmom, thank you for giving him life and making the brave decision to let him go. I know you love him still. He will always know that he is loved twice.”

06/05/2022

Day 3: Be intentional, but vulnerable. 💗

Pre placement, watch what you say. Are you making verbal promises? If so, make sure they are something you’re willing and capable of upholding. Post placement, be thoughtful and intentional with what you say in updates/visits. But be open, share what’s important to you too. Remember birth families hold on to words because it’s what they have left and sometimes we just need to know we aren’t the only ones with our heart wide open out there.

But most importantly, show grace. Tons of it. To the birth mama, to your spouse, and to yourself and your adoptee(s). It’s an emotional ride for all of you and intentional wording and a kind, understanding heart goes a long way.

05/05/2022

Day 2 of how to honor your birth moms: Let’s talk “Gotcha day”

Not only in Gotcha Day disrespectful to birth moms, it’s also disrespectful to your adoptees. They have a birth date, that date is the day they were born and should be celebrated. Gotcha day is celebrating a woman’s pain.

They are also not something you “got”. They are humans, not property.

Instead here are some ways to honor the adoptee and birth family on this day without calling it “Gotcha”!
-If international, have food from their country. Do activities that represent their culture.
-Pull photos of birth family, if you have any.
-Talk about where they come from, why adoption is apart of them, and how they feel about it.
-If it’s an open adoption, have dinner with the birth mama.

This day isn’t monumental, unless it’s a foster situation, and shouldn’t be treated like the first day of their lives. It’s legal work but remember they have always been yours in your heart.

04/05/2022

❤️ Let’s remember to use language that is meaningful. This coming Saturday is Birth Mom Day so this week we will be sharing all the ways to honor those special women who have placed their children.

Day 1: “Gave up” for adoption is hurtful, it’s disrespectful. As someone who hears it every single day from those closest to me, strangers, and others within the triad, it makes my heart hurt. I PLACED HER. I hand picked her family, I made a decision to place her in a home that was better than I could’ve ever dreamt for her. So yes, I gave a lot. I gave her life, I gave all my love I had to her and her adoptive family. I gave her a chance to enjoy childhood and be successful in life. I gave her an opportunity not to suffer in poverty and an opportunity to have a two parent household. But I NEVER ONCE GAVE HER UP, despite what my legal paperwork says.

So please be mindful of when you’re talking about your birth mom and their decision to place ❤️

27/04/2022

I know there was no episode released last night, but Kami took a quick trip to Louisiana to watch her sister graduate police academy! So it was an eventful Tuesday 💙🖤 We appreciate all the love and support and all the excitement each week though! Stay tuned because we have a mini episode coming at the end of the week.

20/04/2022

Sometimes kids just know. Our sweet Evie girl has been so set that she will get a baby sister, not a baby brother. She’s got so much love to give and is [impatiently] waiting for that little one to come along. 💗

“If we could all see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything…”

Listen now to Krystle’s side of this last potential birth mom and the feelings that they both felt during their journey.

13/04/2022

“Every time I see the girls together, cuddling or laughing so hard their bellies hurt, I think about -Braleigh-. I also soak that moment in time in because every memory is valuable when you don’t have those with your first child.

But here’s a secret most don’t know: in those moments, and in so many others, I take a second to write down something important. It may be small and sometimes it’s just on my phone, but it’s something to share my heart in that moment. And then, I put it in a box.

In that box there are pictures, letters, printed out emails, small things that felt important, and my thoughts. It’s a box that one day, -Braleigh- will get. She will have 18 years of life and love in a box so she knows she was always at the center of this life even if she isn’t here physically.

The point of saying this is to show adoption doesn’t mean the end. It doesn’t mean you can’t show your love. You just learn to do it in your own way because even if she never comes around, I see her and can feel the love radiating in the small moments. I can heal my heart by knowing I intentionally make her a part of our memories. So, find what works for you and your grief. And then be proud of it 💗”

-Kami, cohost and birth mom of seven years

12/04/2022

✨ When we started this journey we had no idea that Krystle would be encountering two potential birth moms and that certain things along Kami’s journey would come up. We just knew there had to be more open dialogue.

It’s taken us by surprise and has quickly consumed our lives. It started out just recording episodes, now it’s being up for hours late at night just trying to decompress from the emotions the episode pulled out that evening. Being so vulnerable and so raw with strangers is HARD but we’re so thankful for y’all who have made it easy.

Today: Our UPDATED birthmom episode re-releases. And stay tuned to hear a release date of Krystle’s side. We recorded it last night and it’s too good 💗

06/04/2022

🚨Due to editing issues, for privacy reasons of the children involved, we had to remove the episode released this evening. We apologize.

The updated version with the names completely removed will be released tomorrow after we edit them out.

03/04/2022

We know this week no episode was released, but we want to be transparent and let y’all know why. Krystle recently had another potential birth mom reach out and the past week we have had a lot to digest, pray on, and take care of. We spent the downtime we had to take a mental breather, due to all the emotions that do come with adoption.

We appreciate all the support, understanding, and kind words. We have tons of content coming your way and some hard conversations happening soon. Keep posted because we will be releasing a date for our Facebook Q&A live soon 💗

01/04/2022

🚨 BIG BIG NEWS COMING YOUR WAY!!!

✨Make sure to share to share the podcast to any birthmoms(specifically in the Houston area) because this news is all about them. I’m honored I, Kami, gets to be a part of this and I can’t wait to take y’all along with me! ❤️

01/04/2022

Over The Table, they are always sharing such insightful posts and I feel this one fits our thoughts of today. Here they are: There is no one birth mom made the same. Each one has their own story, their own unique quirk and personality, and what has made them choose this decision. Some are young…that means immaturity with relationships, some are older…that means they may have other children. Whatever their story is, whatever issues they have and traumas that come with their story show them grace.

BUT also create boundaries. Create hard fast lines. Your sanity needs it too, but theirs as well. Boundaries mean less room for failed expectations. Place them and stick with them until it’s MUTUALLY decided to change them. You can love them from afar when needed, that doesn’t make you a bad adoptive mom. But just remember to love them. Their decision is a hard one, they don’t take it lightly.

22/03/2022

I know we’re all ready for the new episode today! But, until it releases at 6 CST we wanted to share some accounts/resources for those who want more education and research ❤️

Instagram:




Organizations:
BraveLove
Adoption . Com
Birthmom Buds

✨These are just a few, but if you have any you think are great let us know. And as always, reach out if you need any help. We’re here to provide resources and support for any part of the adoption community 💗

13/03/2022

“❄️ Back when I was teaching we would have dance parties and Frozen soundtrack was always a favorite. But, I found myself skipping Love is an Open Door because the adoptive mom compared our adoption to it.

It would crush me because I hadn’t faced the grief and in those years I didn’t feel like the door was ✨open✨. But then Scarlett became Elsa obsessed…We have jam sessions on a daily basis and that song is included. I don’t cry or avoid it anymore. I learned that the phrase Love is an Open Door is true to adoption, but not the way I had thought. To me, it means MY door is always open, whenever she’s ready, I’m here. And now I listen to the song and get to live in the moment and just enjoy Scarlett because my heart is at peace knowing my door or heart will never be closed.

Point is, maybe as a birth mom you have something similar to this. If so, don’t avoid it. Face it. Embrace it. Work through it because you don’t fully heal until you learn to conquer the pain. And adoptive moms, please please please remember as birth moms we hold on to EVERYTHING said because it’s all we have post placement. Choose your words carefully and be intentional with them. Follow through or don’t say anything at all.”

-Kami, co host and birth mom

🎙You can catch our episode “Post placement grief” over at Spotify, apple podcast, or Within the Triad Podcast 💗

08/03/2022

🎉NEWS ALERT🚨

We’ve had such a positive feedback, so we are opening the dialogue even further! We are now offering VIP perks on our Patreon.
This includes:
👚 Merch
🎧 Exclusive episodes
🎙Early releases
🎟 Early access IN PERSON EVENTS
(YES, in person live events are coming sooonn!)

Join us below, we will be doing our first live Q&A soon👇

https://www.patreon.com/Withinthetriad

Become a patron of Within The Triad today: Get access to exclusive content and experiences on the world’s largest membership platform for artists and creators.

07/03/2022

It’s all the emotions on this weeks episode! Join in tomorrow to hear Krystle and Kami break down post placement from a birth moms perspective and adoptive moms 💗

06/03/2022

💗Recording days are our favorite! Stay tuned to hear our special guest share her story as a birthmom.

Reach out to us if you have a story and want to share, no matter what part of the triad you are. This is your podcast as much as it is ours!

04/03/2022

❤️ Ranson and Kami’s story is truly a meet them where they are story. Between trauma from military on his side and trauma from placing on her side, they grew together. Hear it from him tonight at 6 pm ✨

03/03/2022

Y’all got to hear Kami’s story as a birthmom, now it’s time for a ✨BONUS EPISODE✨

We get to hear from Ranson’s side and what it’s like to build a life with someone who placed their child for adoption. This specific photo is from their wedding when Kami played a slideshow of Braleigh to ensure she was a part of the wedding. It releases Friday so buckle in because it’s so good ❤️

01/03/2022

It’s Tuesday, which means it’s release day 🎉 Grab those headphones or turn those car speakers on and listen to our open interview with On Your Feet Foundation and let us know what you think! 🎧🤍