The Daily Dhoka (2024)

04/09/2023

In a bold and electrifying move, a bride-to-be has rewritten the Haq-Mehr playbook by ingeniously adding "unlimited electricity usage" to her marital contract. As electricity bills continue to skyrocket across Pakistan, this visionary bride has harnessed the power of negotiation to secure a future of unmitigated comfort in the face of scorching temperatures.

Haq-Mehr, a traditional Islamic practice, is designed to provide financial security to the bride in the event of unforeseen circumstances. However, this bride has taken it to the next level, recognizing the undeniable necessity of 24/7 air conditioning in the horrid Pakistani heat.

As the country grapples with surging electricity costs, this bride's strategic foresight serves as a beacon of inspiration for others seeking creative solutions. Share this story of marital ingenuity and tag to celebrate this bride's commitment to a cool, comfortable future.

24/07/2023

A teenage mind grapples with a perplexing question that has puzzled many: Why does the Disney logo end with a "P"? The iconic Disney logo, written in Walt Disney's own handwriting style, features a quirky "Y" that appears suspiciously like a "P." This optical illusion has left generations of kids scratching their heads.

As the mystery endures, teens around the world remain captivated by the enigmatic Disney "P."

At a recent movie screening, when another teen was confronted with this confusion, their knee-jerk reaction was “Haan ofcourse mujhe pata hai ye.” before scurrying off to their friends.

Share the bewilderment and tag a friend who's always wondered about the curious Disney logo.

Join the conversation and explore more of life's intriguing oddities.

24/07/2023

A father's patient repetition of an age-old lesson reaches comical heights as he once again explains to his son that "TOLET" doesn't mean toilet. Across cities in Pakistan, billboards and pole signs display the puzzling word "TOLET" to indicate vacant spaces for upcoming brand campaigns. However, the word's uncanny similarity to "toilet" has led many children to grow up with this quirky misconception.

As kids innocently inquire about the mysterious "TOLET," fathers find themselves hilariously debunking the toilet-related confusion time and time again.

Stated one disappointed kid from inside his car “Magar phir toilet hai kahan? Mujhe abhi kay abhi jana hai”. His dad was seen rushing off before giving any further comment.

Know a kid who discovered the true meaning of "TOLET"? Share with them.

24/07/2023

In a not-so-surprising turn of events, Defence Housing Authority (DHA) in Karachi has won an international award for simultaneously digging up the most roads. Residents of this upscale neighborhood found themselves entangled in a maze of roadblocks and diversions as DHA embarked on an extensive "maintenance work" project.

While DHA claimed the digging was to preempt urban flooding during the monsoon season, the poorly managed project left residents struggling to navigate their own neighborhood. Some were even stranded, unable to reach their own homes.

A disgruntled resident was overheard saying “Oh bhai, yeh Pakistan ka sab se mehenga neighborhood hai. Magar lagta aisa hai kai hum kisi warzone mein rehtay hain. Khandaq-e-Shahbaz dekhi hai apne?”

Share your DHA road-digging horror stories and join the conversation to discuss living in this "award-winning" experience.

24/07/2023

In a groundbreaking move, a local appliances company has launched a special air conditioner remote that maxes out at 26 degrees, leaving fathers everywhere ecstatic. With the burden of electricity bills weighing heavily on their minds, dads have become the guardians of the 26-degree rule, cautioning their kids not to set the AC any lower.

As summer temperatures soar, fathers' obsession with optimal AC usage reaches new heights. They proudly wield their new remote control, ensuring that the family remains comfortable while also maintaining energy efficiency.

One affected teenager was quoted as saying “Abba jee toh bikul drill sergeant ban gaye hain. Itni garmi mein bhi 26 say temperature neechay nahin karnay daitay. This new remote is totally killing my vibe.”

Know a dad who's the AC master of the house? Tag him and celebrate his passion for oppressive cost-effective cooling solutions!

30/06/2023

Generation Z, known for their deep reliance on smartphones, finds themselves in a perpetual battle with low battery anxiety. The mere sound of the "low battery" alert triggers a state of discomfort and jitteriness. It's as if they are transported into a realm of digital PTSD, anxiously awaiting the resurrection of their beloved devices.

This unique phobia of a drained battery has gained recognition as the scariest piece of audio among Gen Z audiences. With their lives intricately woven into the digital realm, the fear of disconnection becomes an all-consuming presence.

A local girl going through such a dilemma whilst being out was overhead urging to her friends “Kisi ke pass C-type charger hai? Please yaar - I’m all out of juice!”

Tag a friend who experiences low battery anxiety and share your own tips to cope with this haunting sound. Join the conversation and let's explore ways to prioritize digital well-being.

battery

30/06/2023

Desperation knows no boundaries, especially when it comes to some Pakistani men and their quest for companionship. Cultural limitations have hindered their ability to court women with nuance, leaving them particularly eager to make an impression whenever they spot a potential romantic interest in public. In a bizarre turn of events, a Pakistani man flew too close to the sun when he immediately sent a friend request to an air hostess after reading her name on her badge, ultimately resulting in his deportation.

Prior to sending said request, the overconfident gentleman is reported to have quipped to his coworker “Abhi dekh na bhai kaisay patata hai is ko”.

Pakistani men have earned a notorious reputation for their persistent friend requests, even on professional platforms like LinkedIn, where thinly veiled attempts at courtship often take the form of networking. This cautionary tale serves as a reminder to exercise discretion and respect personal boundaries, both in the virtual and physical world.

Know someone who can relate to this unusual approach to courtship? Tag them and share this post to spread awareness about healthy online communication - or not.

30/06/2023

A renowned local fashion chain catering to urban affluent women has come under fire for their dodgy sales marketing tactics. Their advertisements feature a tiny "upto" clause, such as "upto 50% off," often difficult to read.

However, upon visiting the store, customers are met with disappointment as they discover that only a handful of items are actually on sale, while the majority are sold at full price, resulting in a 0% discount.

This arguably deceptive practice has sparked widespread protests and dissatisfaction among customers who feel misled by the brand’s marketing strategies.

One auntie is reportedly taking her business elsewhere - when probed, she responded with “Itni mehengai mein yeh konsi sale jis mein koi item sale pe hi nahin? Ye sab mil ke humein pagal bana rahey hain!”.

Know someone who has fallen for the upto thing? Tag them

30/06/2023

LinkedIn, the professional networking platform, has become a battleground for individuals striving to showcase their wisdom, accomplishments, and expertise. However, amidst the sea of self-promotion, one particular species stands out: the startup bro. Their grandiose status updates, aimed at projecting an image of brilliance and success, often end up being nothing more than self-promotional drivel.

In a rather ironic twist, a local startup bro was recently awarded the prestigious "Cringiest Self-Promotional Update" medal at the LinkedIn Annual Awards 2023. This recognition highlights the prevalence of ego-driven self-promotion and the need for inauthenticity in professional networking.

Said individual accepted his award with a speech that ended in “I’m proud to be a Linfluencer - and I will post about this very incident in an overly dramatized way later when I get to it.”

Share this post and tag someone who has encountered cringeworthy self-promotion on LinkedIn. Join the conversation and share your thoughts on building a more authentic and less creepy professional community.

29/06/2023

Eid-ul-Adha, a time for spiritual reflection and community gathering, also brings with it the early morning challenge of waking up for the special Eid Namaz. However, some teenagers in Pakistan, known for their penchant for late nights, often find themselves missing the prayer, much to the dismay of their traditional parents.

Blaming westernization and late-night rendezvous at chai dhabas, parents express their frustration at their nikamma (lazy) sons who struggle to rise early for this important religious observance. The clash of generational habits and teenage rebellion finds its battleground on the day of Eid. “Iss nain masjid mein hamari naak katwa di aaj” said a furious father of one such boy.

As the sun rises and the echoes of the Eid Namaz fill the air, the struggle continues between tradition and the allure of late-night outings.

Keep an eye on for more as this news unfolds and share this relatable post with others who have experienced the clash of traditions on Eid morning!

29/06/2023

In a classic laundry mishap, clueless husbands continue to forget to remove used tissues from their pant pockets, leading to disastrous consequences. As the laundry machine churns away, these innocent tissues disintegrate into hundreds of tiny fragments, creating an unwanted lint party on dark clothes.

This peculiar predicament has sparked heated arguments between couples, with exasperated wives pointing out the tissue-laden laundry. Yet, despite repeated reminders, men seem to have an uncanny ability to forget, leaving their partners exasperated and the laundry in shambles.

One local homemaker claimed that if her shohar does this again, she’s seriously going to have to leave him. Said shohar claimed innocence and said “Meri maa toh ko iss say itna problem nahin tha”.

Will husbands ever learn the importance of pocket inspection? Only time will tell.

Know someone who can relate to this tissue-induced laundry chaos? Share this post with them and tag !

29/06/2023

Jain's hit song "Makeba" has taken the world of Instagram Reels by storm, becoming the go-to background music for videos across the platform. However, even the otherwise-reserved Mark Zuckerberg has grown weary of this viral sensation. The Meta CEO has embarked on a global journey, urging creators to put an end to the reign of "Makeba" as the default Reels soundtrack.

What was once seen as a fun and foreign element has now reached a point of saturation. Zuckerburg, with a touch of humor, quipped, "It's time to give 'Makeba' a break, folks. Let's explore new tunes and unleash your creativity with fresher tracks. How’s about something from Coke Studio, eh?"

As the global community of creators ponders the future of Reels background music, remember to stay tuned to for more updates and trends!

29/06/2023

A recent survey has shed light on a fascinating kitchen phenomenon in Pakistan. It turns out that 96% of the rubber bands found in your kitchen drawer are sourced directly from Dawn bread ki packaging. These humble bread bags, sealed at the top with rubber bands, have unwittingly become the unsung heroes of every household.

Over the years, Pakistani families have built up a steady supply of rubber bands without ever needing to purchase them separately. The convenience and practicality of repurposing the bread's packaging have turned it into an unintentional rubber band dispenser. “Kabhi zaroorat hi nahin parhi” claims one homemaker from Karachi. “Aur itni mehengai mein har rupiah bachana important hai”, quips the husband

Next time you're rummaging through your kitchen drawer, take a moment to appreciate the humble doubleroti wala rubber band, a testament to the resourcefulness and everyday ingenuity of Pakistani households.

Know anybody with a treasure trove of rubber bands? Point them over to

29/06/2023

In a bid to expand the tax net, Pakistan's Federal Board of Revenue (FBR) has introduced a surprising new levy. A 10% tax on Eidi, the traditional monetary gift given to children during Eid celebrations, is the FBR's latest move to appease the IMF's incessant demand for an increased tax base.

This unconventional tax proposal, revealed as part of the new mini-budget, targets the lower of the nation’s youth, previously untouched by direct taxation. Experts have suggested the move signals a desperate attempt to swell the national coffers and lighten the country's debt burden.

There is, however, widespread skepticism over the feasibility and ex*****on of such a tax. Parents, in particular, are left wondering if the next generation's Eidi savings would now be subjected to the same scrutiny as their taxable income.

As the nation grapples with this unexpected turn of events, the IMF's next move remains eagerly awaited. Will Eid Mubarak lifafay be taxable assets next?

Are you in favor of such a tax? Let us know

29/06/2023

In a shocking revelation that has rocked the world of international politics and espionage, the CIA has admitted that a Pakistani uncle has successfully cracked their global conspiracy. Known for his knack for weaving intricate theories about the West's clandestine operations, the middle-aged man seems to have hit the bull's eye this time.

The uncle, a regular in many whatsapp groups, is infamous for his lengthy discussions on global politics and the hidden agendas of foreign powers, including the Yahoodi Sazish. His passionate discourses, although often met with skepticism and ‘mute group’ actions, have now gained a newfound credibility.

The CIA's admission sent waves of validation through conspiracy theorist circles. Meanwhile, other uncles across the nation are gearing up, determined to unmask more global plots.

As for the victorious uncle, he has become an unlikely hero, and has since been invited to Geo as a host to a new show called “Absolutely Not”.

Do you know someone with a whatsapp-wala uncle like that? Share with them

29/06/2023

In a scene familiar to many Pakistani households, a local mom declared the newly opened Chinese restaurant at Bara Bukhari overpriced, insisting that she could whip up the same dishes at home. This sentiment comes as no surprise, as Pakistani moms are known for their unwavering confidence in their culinary prowess.

Following a family outing to the restaurant, the mom, unimpressed with the price tag attached to their Chowmein-centred meal, asserted her capability to recreate the same experience at a fraction of the cost.

While her children nodded along, familiar with her claims, the restaurant owner seemed unfazed. Perhaps accustomed to such declarations, he seemed to understand that for many, the comfort and flavors of home cooking hold a unique charm.

As for the mom, she appears ready to prove her point. Homes across the city may soon resonate with the sounds and smells of home-cooked Chinese food as her husband has encouraged her to start her own Foodpanda homechef business.

Has your mother ever said something like this? Let us know

29/06/2023

In a tale as old as air conditioners, a local AC repairman in Karachi is making a habit of cycling through a familiar pattern of repairs. Despite fixing the outer unit, inner unit, and even the 'card' of the AC, he insists the problem still lies with the outer unit.

The repairman's visits have become a regular event, much to the homeowner's despair. Each repair, initially greeted with hope, only seems to be a precursor to the next. Accusations of dishonesty and ulterior motives have begun to surface.

The homeowner, weary of the recurring cycle, is left contemplating if there's an end in sight. Is it time for a new AC or a new repairman?

Meanwhile, the repairman seems unfazed by the allegations, sticking to his prognosis. "Baji yeh inverter AC Pakistan mein nahin chaltay" he maintains. Will the summer heat finally break this cycle, or will it be another round of 'card' repairs?

Is your AC guy reliable? Let us know

29/06/2023

As the season of Eid ul Adha rolled in, along with the customary tradition of sacrifice, a local butcher in the upscale DHA neighborhood saw an opportunity for a lucrative business innovation. Not content with the traditional pricing, this enterprising Qasai decided to offer an exclusive 'VIP' service.

Marketed as a premium add-on to his butchering services, the highlight of the package was a set of gold-plated knives. The gleaming utensils aimed to justify an inflated price tag for the affluent residents who wanted an extra touch of luxury in their sacrifice. As per some uncle in Phase 6 “Qurbani karni hai toh apni auqaat ko match kartay huay karnee chahiye.”

Critics accused the butcher of price-gouging and exploiting religious traditions for personal gain. But the Qasai defended his golden innovation, arguing that it offered a unique experience for those willing to pay. It is rumored that his biggest client is Tiger Memon.

As residents reluctantly reach deeper into their pockets, the golden knife saga has left them pondering - what other luxury services will next year's Eid bring?

Would you pay for a premium Qurbani package? Let us know .

29/06/2023

In a social media world where holiday photos typically flood feeds for a week or two post-trip, one Instagram user seemed to be stuck in a time loop. This bandi, known for her adventurous spirit and seemingly endless holidays, pushed the boundaries by sustaining a vacation-themed photo offensive for a whole six months after her week-long beach vacation ended.

The series of photos and cringey boomerangs, featuring everything from golden sunsets to strategically hidden cocktails (because Pakistan) with tiny umbrellas, took a turn from exciting to monotonous, and finally to downright exasperating. Her followers were treated to a virtual deja vu of beach waves and sandy feet with every log-in.

After a whopping half a year, the curtain finally fell on the beach-themed saga. To the relief of her weary followers, the tropical dream turned infinite holiday came to a halt.

Relieved sighs echoed across the Instagram community, leaving everyone to wonder, how long will her next vacation last on our feeds?

Know someone like this? Tag them here .

29/06/2023

As inflation continues to spiral out of control in Pakistan, it seems no one is immune - not even mobile snatchers. A local phone thief raised concerns over the skyrocketing prices in Darra Adam Kher, the notorious black market for illegal weapons.

While these hardened criminals have been reaping the benefits of the technological boom and rising smartphone costs, they are now being brought down to earth by the increasing price tags on their tools of the trade. The increase in pistol prices has left a gaping hole in their once lucrative profit margins.

When questioned about his prospects amidst these challenging economic conditions, the disgruntled mobile snatcher mused about a possible shift in tactics. "Bohat mehangai hai bhai" he lamented, "Lagta hai ab bachon ki water gun se kaam chalana paray ga."

Indeed, this unusual complaint sheds light on the far-reaching tentacles of inflation, touching even the shadowy corners of society.

Will bailout solve this crisis for all? Stay tuned to .

29/06/2023

A regular office was recently rocked by an unlikely event. A crafty co-worker had been clandestinely harvesting ballpoint pens from his unsuspecting colleagues' desks, all under the guise of "borrowing."

This intriguing episode was unearthed when a sudden scarcity of the office’s pen supply was noticed. An impromptu investigation led to the shocking find of a hoard of these pens neatly stored in the accused employee's drawer, mostly Picassos but some dating back to the Piano days.

When accused of his covert operation, the sly worker feigned forgetfulness as an elaborate cover. Even amidst the revelation, he daringly secured another pen from a coworker's desk, smirking as he uttered a dismissive "Bro abhi waapis karta hoon"

The event has sparked a wave of vigilance in the office, with everyone closely guarding their precious writing instruments. Previous co-workers from multiple workplaces have also accused the ‘pen-chor’ of swiping their scribblers. As per former colleagues’ statements, they had tried to unsuccessfully set an intervention for him in the past, which declined with an off-hand “Abay chal. Aik pen hi toh hai yaar.”

More as this news unfolds. Stay tuned to .

The Daily Dhoka

04/09/2023

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