Phat Dabs In The Morning

11/04/2024

with the death of oj i wouls strongly implore those close to khloe kardashian to check on her since she just lost her daddy, she probably is not okay

03/04/2024

well now, let's have a look here. 122 episodes and 420 listens later, wait a minute we hit 420 listens, oh s**t!!!!! for a crew all about that 420 this is delightful!!!!! we been seshing for a while and always happy to have ya'll come on and slide thru for a listen or two to listen to our silly ass show. always a pleasure to do this and even more so with the bowl mates and we haven't even gotten to episode 420 yet. oh yeah we got that coming up soon as well, but we will get to that soon. we feeling good right now. know i am.

30/03/2024

711..........why do you have big bite flavored sparkling water????

20/03/2024

Phat dabs fan space for the week, tell us something about harry potter, besides the author, that you don't like or a story arc that got under your skin or something that made no sense to you. since a part of our episode this week is about harry potter slander, we would love to hear what you have to say about this series.

17/03/2024

new phat dabs segment in the works thanks to this previous weeks episode, so here's the deal ladies and gentlemen. we have decided to take a fanfic from whatever genre you choose to read and have a good laugh at for your amusement. all we need to know is what you would like your favorite bowl mates to read for your amusement and our trauma. from video games to anime to your favorite shows, let's pick one and wonder what the f**k is wrong with this fandom together. sound fun?? sound good??? you smoking??? well then let me talk to ya.

05/01/2024

Should you ever get lost

In your travels of ambition

Should you ever wander

Into a realm of complacency

Follow the light

That cuts through the smoke

For your journey has begun

A odyssey you must embark

Mark every step you take

For your travels will be mythologized

Should you be the one to make it

For any race

Any class

Any creature

Be it human

Be it fairy

Be it orc

Be it elf

Be it dwarf

All are eligible

Yet only one will be worthy

To take the seat

And cement their people’s new era

Upon the crystal throne

Your desperation will fuel its glow

Your ambition will blind you

To the reality of the fool’s errand

That is being ran

For once again

Every race

Every class

Every being

Is eligible to reach for the throne

As with any myth

Everyone is eligible

To reach for a throne

That you can never attain

03/01/2024

Wishing to get away from your kingdom for a minute???

Longing for a reprieve from living your life for a while???

Well allow us to make a suggestion

Should in your travels while you follow the light

Of the crystal throne

Take the other route in the fork

And soon you will end up here in the hybrid city

Looking for the finest long leaves in the land???

Ask around for sativa

Looking for a pub where ale is endless

And the wenches with the phat calves are abundant

Indica’s pub is where you wish to go

Every village represented

From the fairies of the purple haze forest

To the elves of the marijuan mountains

The hybrid city has the best of everything

All for those willing to make the trip

Whatever stories you might hear

Whatever curiosities you might have

Should all be seen for yourself firsthand

Rather than be told by third party

Peace be your journey

And goodwill to the traveler

We will see you soon

03/01/2024

Long leaves

Crystal resin

Both equal a good time here in the land of smoke

Every race

Every creature

All in an endless cycle of battle

All the fighting

All the destruction

All the stains on your soul

All that mire on your mind

Please believe a merchant when he tells you

These two things go quite a way here

Yet i myself

Sativa the merchant

My apologies for not introducing myself sooner

Yet setups and whatnot

See past that and

Dare i say another path

Branched completely from that one

You see the denizens of the land of smoke

Merely see these two things as an escape

A reprieve from a life of trauma and tribulations

I see these two things

And i see gold

I see currency

I see opportunity

I see that i have the finest smoke in the land

I also see the hybrid city

And i see the finest colored long leaves

I see crystal resin that will with one puff

Will send your soul to the site of sesh

The original site at that mind you

I see the good times you seek

And i possess the means to have them

So if on your travels

You ever happen to come to the hybrid city

Ask around for sativa

Yet always remember

You can have the best high in your life

You just won’t get it for free

03/01/2024

My dreams are always cast in a sea of blue

Setting my troubles to sail away

My eyes remain a shade of crimson

For my troubles can no longer return

And from my blue dream

I can no longer awaken

These are the words eternally spoken

By the denizens of the blue dream kingdom

A kingdom beset by an azure haze

Giving its residents the illusion

Of its finest hour

Of a golden age that spanned

Long before the first spark of life

Long before the discovery of the crystal throne

An illusion fine grained of finer times

Their eyes of crimson remain open to the deceit

Their minds longing for a reprieve

From a dream of blue

For which they can never awaken

02/01/2024

Take me away

Take me away from the battles

Take me away from the blood shed

Take me away from the innocents slaughtered in the name of ambition

Take me away from the flames of war

Take me away from the haze of conquest that violates my soul

Take me away from all of it

The fog of war has blurred my vision

To the point that even the light of the crystal throne

Could not guide me back home

And to be frank

After all i’ve done

Is a return home even warranted at this point

For i can wash the blood from my hands

Yet i cannot satiate the sorrows that swirl in my mind

The terrors that only man can experience

When two opposing ideologies are willing to impose

Another man’s will upon another

Well no more of that

Nay

There is a different path to my journey

One that goes past the crystal throne

Past the avarice of kings who delude themselves to be gods

No

I will never pick up my sword and shield in the service of madmen again

I no longer wish to see the black smoke of destruction

No

I wish to feel the smoke from the crystal rig as the finest resin hit my lungs and brain

I could not think of a finer reprieve from a life of battle

No matter where these travels may take me

The site of sesh awaits

30/06/2023

30/05/2023

ladies and gentlemen vai and voe alike it's your storyteller, that original gerudo sliding through to let you know that he will be taking a little break from playing tears of the kingdom this evening to share with you his five favorite legend of zelda games. perhaps tears of the kingdom will end up in the favorites one day. time will tell. but i will leave the comfort of air conditioning and the trading post to freefall back home to the valley once more for the once more. roll one up pack a bowl whatever you do and have a smoke break with your teller while he tells you his favorite zelda games. hell if you a zelda fan listening feel free to drop your favorite zelda game in the comments. smoke a nug and sip a noble pursuit with your teller tonight. he'll be waiting for you in the valley.

04/01/2023

so yeah for those who know us and for those that don't, we finally decided to make a page for our podcast. for those who have enjoyed our show so far, sit back and relax roll up a thick one and heat that banger up because we always got some good smoke and some silly s**t to talk about. from countdowns to sesh talks to even telling you who which characters can't smoke with us. we got enough silly s**t on this mic to keep that buzz gong we promise. but stay tuned and tune in to what we put out here and what we also put out on spotify. also feel free to come join the sesh at any given time. we will be lighting one in the gerudo valley.









**tcoming