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GingerGarlic Real News. Fake Articles.

29/05/2021

Bollywood Plot Idea: An Indian woman and man are in jail. Romantic prospects are slim. Parents convince them to tie the knot.

Movie title: Arraigned Marriage

14/05/2021

Medina Spirit, doping derby-winning horse, was arrested today at his apartment.

No chance for bale.

Husbands, facing great personal and reputational risk, explain to inconsolable wives that there are free websites which ...
03/04/2021

Husbands, facing great personal and reputational risk, explain to inconsolable wives that there are free websites which show similar scenes in Bridgerton with significantly more nudity.

20/03/2021

Motel industry staff, thought to be on strike, found just glued to TV for a week watching Rutgers stay in tourney.

20/03/2021

“Oral doesn’t blow it!”

14/03/2021

Often when I text with both hands and hold a pizza slice delicately in my mouth...
I feel like a strong mother lion carrying its cub.
Just me?

18/02/2021

BREAKING: Using "lol." in a text msg w/ a period, authorities finally identify serial killer.

12/02/2021

Analysts take 'shorty' position on Bumble stock.

11/02/2021

Houston Texans part ways with cafeteria staff, accepts janitor resignation.

10/02/2021

Impeachment 2:
Racist Boogaloos

08/02/2021

Madden-like camera filters remind how close we are to the singularity.

I have ventured black. And now, betwixt myself, would really rather not go back. ~Bridgerton
06/02/2021

I have ventured black. And now, betwixt myself, would really rather not go back.
~Bridgerton

Re Second ImpeachmentDemocrats: This is the worst, most dangerous president. Most Republicans: This is the worst, most d...
02/02/2021

Re Second Impeachment

Democrats: This is the worst, most dangerous president.
Most Republicans: This is the worst, most dangerous precedent.

We may not unify over spelling, but we can unify over pronunciation.

31/01/2021

Nick Sirianni is the new coach for the Philadelphia Eagles. Are you as sold as we are on him?

Real post in image. Other Companies that Suffered Today:Robe N’ Hood - Attire for the Wizarding GentlemanLoxlee Bagels -...
30/01/2021

Real post in image.
Other Companies that Suffered Today:

Robe N’ Hood - Attire for the Wizarding Gentleman
Loxlee Bagels - They’re tired of this schmear campaign.
Knotty Hams - Been bad this Christmas? Get yourself a Knotty Ham.

Real post in image. Other Companies that suffered today:Robe N’ Hood - Attire for the Wizarding GentlemanLoxlee Bagels -...
30/01/2021

Real post in image.
Other Companies that suffered today:

Robe N’ Hood - Attire for the Wizarding Gentleman
Loxlee Bagels - They’re tired of this schmear campaign.
Knotty Hams - Been bad this Christmas? Get yourself a Knotty Ham.

28/01/2021

So there’s a repub senator named McCarthy. His party openly supports political violence. And if you disagree w him, you’re branded a Leftist or Socialist...
AP History or News Alert?

26/01/2021

Local Car Repair Co. Slogan
"Whether it's broke or not, we'll fix it."

21/01/2021

With Trump out of WH and banned from social media, comedians face mounting pressure to tell actual jokes.

21/01/2021

Biden lifts Muslim ban.

“It’s felt like forever. But we’re so excited to finally come to this great and safe country...” said exactly two Muslims.

19/01/2021

Y’all can’t touch me, they call me Teflon;
And even if you did, I’m on that pardon;
I’m so good at golf, they call me Par Don
~Trump Rap

CEO of MyPillow states “I’m more of a health and disease expert. Nothing I can do here.”
14/01/2021

CEO of MyPillow states “I’m more of a health and disease expert. Nothing I can do here.”

11/01/2021

Trump to award Bill Belichick the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Calls the decorated coach ... “a true Patriot.”

06/01/2021

White Walkers breach wall.

(Live updates in comments)

Senator...for sale?!?Millions of Georgians state Ossoff “just felt like the best bargain”“I know it’s just two cents,” s...
06/01/2021

Senator...for sale?!?

Millions of Georgians state Ossoff “just felt like the best bargain”

“I know it’s just two cents,” said Michael Crowley, big box shopper and self-ascribed credit card points expert,

“but it all adds up.”


06/01/2021

US History professor predicted massive GA election turnout;

Reminds millennials of a 90s song about “millions of peaches” by a band called “The Presidents of the United States.”

06/01/2021

Reverend Warnock to reporters:
Loeffler? Citizens of the great state of Georgia, I barely know her.

06/01/2021

Wife: Who’s winning?Condescending Couch Guy: GA won’t be decided tonight.
Wife: Oh, then you can help w dishes.
Guy: ... I’m watching this so that I can tell our kids we did everything we could.

06/01/2021

“Slide down to refresh” holding steady lead over “push notifications” in GA Election coverage.

06/01/2021

Belated Georgia Debate Headline

Perdue fried; chickens out

John Elway Steps Aside as Denver Broncos GM; Cites ‘Back to the Future’ reboot as next step for Biff hopeful.
04/01/2021

John Elway Steps Aside as Denver Broncos GM;
Cites ‘Back to the Future’ reboot as next step for Biff hopeful.

"Winter will come when it comes, ok?!" Night King concerned over new strain found in UK.
28/12/2020

"Winter will come when it comes, ok?!"
Night King concerned over new strain found in UK.

17/12/2020

Rudolph insists “hard work not red nose” got him to the front.

16/12/2020

Ad for Gino’s Funeral Home reads:

“70% OFFED! Everyone must go!!!”

Fake Electors; Faker Bagels staffLansing, MichiganRepublican Trump Loyalists—their options dwindling—held a series of f...
15/12/2020

Fake Electors; Faker Bagels

staff
Lansing, Michigan

Republican Trump Loyalists—their options dwindling—held a series of fake Electoral College meetings across swing states on December 14th and assigned their fake votes to Donald Trump.

Usually upbeat and energized with chants of “stop the steal,” for the first time, the mood last night was somber.

“Joe Biden will never be my President,” said Ezekiel Jones, a self-proclaimed Michigan militiaman and outdoor pizza oven enthusiast.

“But we were told there’d be bagels. Like, why lie about that?” He looked away and couldn’t complete the interview.

“They could’ve been day-olds, wouldn’t have cost em nothing,” chimed in Ezekiel’s friend, Timothy Jenkins.

Timothy identifies as a local Craigslist buyer-seller and was not at all inspired by the individual snack pack of pretzels he was given after the fake event.

Indeed, across the country, physical brochures and splash pages online had promised an “alternate democracy” but also “fresh-baked pies,” “spreads and dips,” and other local fare depending upon the region.

The Trump re-election faithful are being tested and not everyone is choosing to let things slide.

“If they’ll lie about heavy hor d’oeuvres, what else are they lying about?” said a fake elector who wished to keep his identity and pronunciation of hor d’oeuvres anonymous.

GingerGarlic News
Real News. Fake Articles.

Get your dad a Time Magazine subscription for Christmas this year.Depending on who wins Person of the Year and your dad'...
10/12/2020

Get your dad a Time Magazine subscription for Christmas this year.

Depending on who wins Person of the Year and your dad's politics, GingerGarlic News is offering a 50% off discount code on a LIGHTER FLUID BUNDLE PACKAGE!!! 😎😎😎

Code: GG50

09/12/2020

RELEASED!!! Exclusive look at sample Trump Citizenship question. 😬😬😬😬😬😬

Where do you have friends?
a) Loser Countries?
b) Lonely Places?
c) Russia?
d) B and C
e) All of the above

Real News. Fake Articles.

04/12/2020

My Indian Aunt GOES OFF at Michigan Election Hearing!!!

UPDATE 1: Upon closer look, she is NOT my aunt. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UPDATE 2: Mindy Kaling tweets "That's not me, guys"

03/12/2020

Zappos CEO died in November house fire. Company issues press statement:

“Stop with the puns. We’re not the cigarette lighter company.”

03/12/2020

BREAKING: Claiming Victory Under Many Worlds Theory, Trump Exhibits Uncanny Knowledge of Quantum Physics

(Full article drops tomorrow morning!!!)

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My Indian Aunt Goes OFF at Michigan Election Hearing
My Indian Aunt Goes OFF at Michigan Election Hearing

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