02/02/2024
COLLINSVILLE, IL - After famed Punxsutawney Phil declared a short Winter and early Spring this morning, Collinsville's very own weather predicting ground hog, Collinsville Kyle, had his own opinion on the matter, "F**k that bitch Phil. He don't know s**t. How many times that bitch been wrong about the weather? Pretty much every mother fu***ng time. Nobody ever goes back and be like 'Hey Phil, you was fu**in' wrong about the weather!' Nah. They just believe him and forget about it. Like he's some genius and s**t. F**kin' ridiculous. You want a weather prediction? Here's my prediction. There's a 100% chance the weather here is gonna suck ass like it always does because because this is the fu***ng Midwest. There you go."
