How to Raise Grownups

26/12/2021

I’m still soaking in all the Christmas magic.

The kids are all home (Except the one who’s on his honeymoon…we forgive him 💍).

The house is still lit. You can probably see it from space.

The tree remains majestically decorated, though void of packages under its branches.

The craziness of life has stopped for a brief moment.

My weary heart has been rejoicing for days.

And, in that rejoicing, I think of a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes by a young mother.

I imagine how she lovingly laid him in a makeshift bed.

I think of her espoused husband standing by, amazed at the events surrounding this miraculous birth.

I think of the shepherds - the first to hear of his arrival and welcome him to the world.

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords came to the earth in the humblest of circumstances.

And brought hope with Him.

Hope of deliverance from a fallen world - a hope that still lives today.

A day when confusion, contention, and chaos reign.

A day when brother turns against brother and father against son.

A day when the future feels bleak for so many.

But the babe in the manger turned Savior of the world still stands with outstretched arms, beckoning for each of us to let Him in.

To trust Him.

To follow Him through the confusion to higher ground.

No matter how long or dark the night, hope will always live because of Him.

A weary world, starting with each of our weary hearts, will always have reason to rejoice.

And that is something to celebrate.

30/11/2021

I don’t love the scare tactics here, but this ER doc has some good points about college readiness.

Most parents don't think about the dangers of college. This ER doctor has advice for parents as they contemplate their children’s futures.

23/11/2021

Don’t throw away your shot with your teen!

Talk less.

Listen (and smile) more.

They already know what you think.

Now is the time to hear to what they think.

Who knew Hamilton included sage parenting advice??

P.S. What’s your favorite Hamilton song?? (I love all the ones with King George!)

23/11/2021

You can have a fantastic relationship with your teen AND hold them accountable for their actions.

You can meet your teen where they are AND lovingly invite them to a higher plane.

You can love your teen AND make decisions they don’t like (ahem…encourage them DO things they don’t like…like learn life skills that are HARD and BORING and NOBODY ELSE HAS TO DO THEM, MOM!)

You can be “old” AND “out of style” AND a grounded force your teen trusts.

It doesn’t have to be either/or.

AND can transform your parenting!

Drop a 🙌🏻 if you agree.

09/10/2021

Grand Canyon.

One day. Rim to Rim. 23.5 miles.

5761 feet of elevation gain.

The hardest thing I have ever done times 100.

The views were beyond spectacular. They exceeded my expectations by a million percent.

But the last four miles about killed me.

Each half mile felt like a marathon.

My legs and feet were doing surprisingly well, but I could not breathe.

The altitude combined with hours of exertion on 3 hours of sleep the night before had caught up to me big time.

Months of near-daily training hikes had not prepared me for the mental and physical exhaustion of these never-ending steep switchbacks.

Our group had spread out by this time, and I was alone. The sun eventually disappeared and the trail was speckled with the glow of headlamps. For the last couple of miles, I had to stop for a few seconds every 100 yards to catch my breath. My progress was excruciatingly slow.

Looking above me at the zig zags of headlamps was discouraging because I could see how far I had to go, and it felt entirely out of reach.

“You are so close! You can do this!” I told myself with every step to fight off the growing gloom of despair.

Finally, I reached the last long switchback. I radioed my group to let them know where I was.

A couple minutes later, I saw the headlamp of someone coming down the trail. When I got closer, I saw it was Greg. He hugged me and said, “Let me carry your pack.”

I had never been more grateful to see anyone. He had dropped us off at the north rim and drove over to the south rim to pick us up. He had been waiting for hours for us to reach the top. And he had come to my aid.

That last quarter mile felt doable because I was no longer alone.

Climbing that rim was grueling, but I did it!! I CAN do hard things. And maybe…just maybe…I will do this hike again. Now I know my weak spots and how to better prepare.

But first, I need to be able to walk again.

05/10/2021

Teens are hilarious!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Parenting them has taught me all sorts of lessons. Swipe to see some of my favorites.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What would you add to this list?

01/10/2021

T minus 7 days until my Grand Canyon rim-to-rim hike.

24 miles. Over 5000 feet of elevation gain. Nearly 50 degrees of temperature change.

I have been planning for this for seven months.

I have hiked almost every day during that time.

But, a couple of days ago, I was freaking out just a little. I have done nothing of this physical magnitude before.

What if I wasn’t prepared? What if I got down into the canyon and couldn’t make the trek back out?

What if I didn’t have enough energy to climb the last four steep miles after having hiked 20 miles already? (A real concern when I have no thyroid to help sustain my energy!)

Then, I talked to my friend who has done this hike 20 times.

“You will be fine,” she assured me. “It is 80% mental, and you are absolutely ready physically. Now, you must believe you can do it.”

I felt better, but then she added: “You will also feel like you’re going to die at some point (or many points) during the hike. You will curse me for telling you that you can do it. But I promise you that you can, so keep going when you feel like the next step might kill you.”

I have yet to test her words but I believe they are true in hiking and in life.

It’s 80% mental.

Whatever the challenge, you can do it even (and maybe especially) when it feels like the next step might kill you.

So keep walking, my friend. The best view is just up this steep stretch.

You’ve got this, and I am cheering you on!

16/09/2021

For all of you out there who are struggling with challenges while raising teens, I see you.

I know the teens years can be tricky for parents.

I know you are carrying heavy burdens that you cannot talk about because you are holding space and honoring privacy.

I know you are loving and supporting and praying and talking through tough things until the wee hours of the morning.

I know it’s hard to sleep after that because there are so many things to process and so many “what ifs” left hanging in the air.

I know you sometimes feel like you are alone in this place, and you wonder if will ever end.

But you are not alone.

And all stages eventually come to an end, even this one.

So, hang in there, friend.

Life goes on after the tumultuous teen years.

There is more light and hope ahead than you can now imagine.

Take it from one who has lived on both sides of this fence.

20/08/2021

“I hate the desert. I hate hiking. I am literally going to die right here on the trail.”

Those words were running through my mind this morning as I ascended 1208 feet in 1.2 miles to reach the summit of Piestewa Peak, one of the steepest trails in the Phoenix area.

The fire in my lungs matched the burning in my legs as I trudged onward and upward.

Though I had started the hike with my son, I had long ago ushered him ahead.

“Don’t wait for me. I will see you at the top.”

Gratefully, he hurried along, allowing his long legs to propel him forward at a speed I could not match.

I kept thinking I was nearing the summit. But then, the trail with its massive, steep, jagged steps, slippery with loose gravel, would turn and continue its ascent.

Inhale. Step forward. Exhale. Repeat.

The next step was the only one that mattered until I reached the top.

But then - the view!!

It was worth the climb. *Cue Miley Cyrus music*

And I felt amazing all the way down, except for the time I fell. But that is another story for another day. :)

Life is like that sometimes: steep, rocky, seemingly impossible in some stretches when your lungs and legs are screaming for a break, but always worth the climb.

P.S. I love hiking again. Let’s do Camelback tomorrow!

P.P.S. For those who saw my post yesterday, I am well. My family is fine. I was talking about the heaviness I felt due to fallout from the Prophet’s recent statement. Many people reached out to check on me, which I appreciate. I took the post down so I didn’t worry anyone else :)

11/08/2021

The room at the end of the hallway used to be her brothers’. But, now that they are away at college and on missions, it is hers.

The door is usually open, revealing the clothes she just can’t bring herself to pick up from the floor.

But now?

She is going through every thing she owns, packing the most important stuff in collapsible bags and plastic bins.

Eight and a half year of memories live in that room.

Late-night talks.

Dried tears.

Laughter.

Gatherings on the bed to sing silly songs.

Two sons packing for missions, going over checklists again and again.

And now, she is preparing to leave home for a new chapter of life like her brothers before her.

The empty bedroom and the memories it houses will remind us of all three of the kids who no longer sleep there.

But, even more than that, it will remind us of the messy, chaotic, loud, dramatic but amazing years we all had together.

The end of an era is quickly approaching.

But, without endings, we would not experience beautiful new beginnings.

And, for me, new beginnings, along with the sweet memories of days past, are among life’s greatest gifts.

08/07/2021

Want to raise responsible kids/teens? I've got your back!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Did I miss anything? What works for you?

07/07/2021

Raising teenagers feels like…🌊🎢

Let’s throw our hands up and enjoy the ride!

30/06/2021

Truth bomb: You are not responsible for your child's mistakes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Parenting can feel really heavy when you believe that everything your child does or does not do is up to you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I've been there, my friends! From bad behavior to apathy about school, I owned it all. I felt like all my kids' mistakes were my fault and shamed myself because of them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Trust me: it was not a happy way to live.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After years of that, I tried something different. I put the responsibility for my kids' choices on their shoulders.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I stopped feeling bad when they made a poor choice and allowed them to feel remorse instead.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And guess what? It felt like FREEDOM!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can own my choices, my reactions, and my behavior and allow my kids to do the same.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Give it a try! It just might change your life.

25/06/2021

What if protecting our kids was actually diminishing their resilience?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Dr. Tim Elmore, a world-renowned expert on Generations Y and Z and founder of the non-profit group Growing Leaders, believes that: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“Adults have actually diminished the development of grit in American kids. We’ve conditioned them to avoid pain or hurt at any cost, which has diminished the cultivation of resilience in them. We work to make life simpler and easier than in past generations. We have a safety-first policy on everything, placing helmets and pads on kids and protectors on every device. Parents do so because we believe a lie that if our kids get hurt, it damages them in the long run…While this safety-first policy makes sense in the moment, it leaves teens miserably unready for adulthood, where they’ll spend most of their lives.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sobering words, especially that last sentence.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I think some amount of protection is necessary when kids are learning to make wise decisions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But when do we step back and give them more freedom?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How do we prepare them to make wise decisions on their own?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Isn't preparation the ultimate form of protection?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you balance protection and preparation with your kids?

25/06/2021

Yesterday, I said goodbye to 43 and hello to 44.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am on the downhill slide to the empty nest. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In a few weeks, three of our five kids will be living away from home.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One is seriously dating a girl we adore. 🤞🏻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Another comes home from a mission in four and a half short months.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One is saying tearful goodbyes to all of her friends, one by one, as they leave on missions and other post-high school pursuits. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We are already drying tears of the kids who will be left at home because they can't imagine life with just the two of them. (Apparently, having amazing parents to spend time with is "not the same," and we "just don't understand!" 🤷🏻‍♀️)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our lives are in a constant state of transition.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
On top of that, I can no longer pull out all of my gray hairs unless I want bald patches on the sides of my head.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I fall asleep almost every time I watch a movie because apparently, 7:30 is way past my bedtime. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm pretty sure I will soon start to wake up at 3:00 am for no reason and start paying the bills because what else am I going to do at 3:00 am?? That is what happened to my grandma.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Though I am not yet a grandma. We must first wait however long it takes for my son to marry the girl of our dreams. 🎶 "If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it" will be the way I answer his calls from now on.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And, though this past year has been a roller-coaster like no other, I am grateful for the ride, except for the drop at the beginning that makes my stomach fly into my throat. I really hate that part. 😜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bring on another year! Getting older is a party, and I am ready for the celebration of my life!

10/06/2021

Are you willing to lay it all on the line for the hope of something incredible?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This quote will not leave my mind, so I will leave it here.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Who is up for daring greatly? Show me with a 💯

08/06/2021

Has life knocked you down this year?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yeah, me too.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I do not remember a year quite so challenging, at least in my recent history, and the pandemic was not even the culprit.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It has been a flood of everything: health, family, personal challenges, life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have spent many hours in prayer and meditation lately, trying to make sense of the chaos. Here is what I am learning:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We all must face HARD things that sometimes feel insurmountable.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But what if we could find joy in the middle of the mess?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What if we could see beyond the difficulties of the moment into a future of incredible possibility?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What if we could surrender the worry of "how will this ever work out?" to the only one who knows the end from the beginning?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What if we could choose peace instead, knowing that He has our backs?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What if we could STAND and SHINE when life knocks us to the ground, refusing to allow overwhelm and discouragement to s***f out our light?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What if we could teach our kids to do the same?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That, my friends, is what I am on a mission to do and help you do. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have a feeling that challenges will be abundant in the days ahead, and our kids will be called upon the lead the charge.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We need to SHINE through the darkness of HARD things so they can see how it's done.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Daunting? Yes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But we were born for this, and so were they.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Together, we can STAND and LIGHT the world with JOY; come, what may.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Drop a 🙌🏻 in the comments if you will join me.

26/05/2021

Last week taught me the value of small and simple things.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A few months ago, I was frazzled and overwhelmed, barely holding life together by a thread.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nearly every aspect of my life felt chaotic.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I signed up for a coaching program with ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For four months, she has been teaching me about the compound effect of small and simple things. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have been prioritizing sleep, movement, nutrition, meditation, scripture study, and spending the first hour of the day without a screen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Just two weeks ago, I noticed that I was feeling SO much more grounded. My circumstances had not changed, but I felt equal to the challenges.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then, last week, my daughter graduated. She hosted a grad party on Wednesday until 1:00 am and a sleepover on Thursday. I went to bed after midnight both nights. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was too tired to get up at 6:00 and exercise, so I slept later than normal and skipped hiking. I hike more for my mental health than my physical health and I felt the difference in a BIG way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My late sleep also meant I was rushing and didn't take time for scriptures or meditation/meaningful prayer. I grabbed my phone right after I awoke instead of spending an hour without it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My entire routine fell apart, and it was not long before I noticed how terrible I felt. I was irritable. My emotions were all over the place. Challenges that used to be manageable felt massive. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was plagued by thoughts of failure in ALL areas of my life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I wanted to run from things I was excited about just one week prior.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What was wrong? I had stopped doing all the little things that were supporting my progress.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Without them, I was a mess.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have learned for myself that small & simple things bring GREAT things to pass.

24/05/2021

"You were born with great momentum."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I cannot stop thinking about those words from my Stake President to the seminary graduates last night.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What does great momentum look like?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
From where I stand, it looks like kids who are born ready to learn, especially when it comes to spiritual things.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It looks like youth whose eyes are filled with light.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It looks like young people who are anxiously engaged in goodness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It looks like imperfect teens who make mistakes but dust themselves off and keep walking.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It looks like a generation of youth who were born to shine in the darkness of these days.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It looks like your kids and mine.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How lucky are we to their parents?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To teach them and learn from them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am a mom of teens and young adults, so I KNOW it is not easy work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some days, I do not feel lucky.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But when I can step back and see them in the light of their potential - the way God sees them, I feel differently about raising them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In that light, they are incredible.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
They are warriors.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Even in their imperfections, weaknesses, and mistakes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It's all about the momentum.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How have you seen that in your kids?

22/05/2021

And there she goes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Eyes forward⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Barely a glance back as she takes her first steps into a new life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She is strong. Confident.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ready.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A little girl no more.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She is locked into my heart.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pigtails, baby dolls, and sass.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But the world needs her light⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
and I must let her fly.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My heart overflows with joy⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
and breaks a little with each step she takes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I will miss her⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
but she was born for this.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I will always be her biggest fan.

14/05/2021

Does your teen know how to check a car's tire pressure and fill up a tire with air?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If not, now is the time for them to learn this simple skill.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you have a few minutes this weekend, plan a field trip to the gas station and show your teens the magic of the air/water machine.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Another good skill to know? How to drive to Discount Tire and get tires checked/filled up with air for FREE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Have a tire pressure weekend party. It will be fun!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
P.S. If you want a hard copy of a checklist that includes 40 skills every teen needs to know, you can download it for free right here: https://learn.lynnettesheppard.com/40skills

11/05/2021

Let's get real for a minute. Here is a current snapshot of my life: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Graduation is 10 days away. Our world is about to change again.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. My 4th child is getting her driver's license this week. Heaven, help me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Teenage friend/relationship drama coupled with upcoming finals and school projects is stirring up all sorts of emotions that show up in unexpected ways.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. More than one of my kids is struggling with massive challenges that have no easy answers.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Almost daily, someone falls apart. I never know when it will happen or what the trigger will be.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There is excitement in the air, but we are also wading through a thick patch of mud.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A few weeks ago, I was talking to my coach. After listening to the mess of thoughts that came pouring out of my mouth, she said this:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"Lynnette, I am blown away. I am watching as the parenting principles you live and teach work for your family in a real-life, high-stress situation. You are showing me through your life why what you teach is absolutely vital."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am FAR from perfect. I still make mistakes ALL the time.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But 22 years of working on myself and my parenting has allowed me to SHOW UP without crumbling in moments (and weeks...and months...) when things happen that I CANNOT CONTROL. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Regardless of what happens to or with my kids, what they choose to do or not do, and how little control I actually have, I get to choose how I show up.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And so do you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Parenting is not easy because life is not easy. But so much of it depends on choosing to try and try again, love big, apologize when you mess up, aim for the future, and lead by example.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Your life is your greatest teaching tool.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
P.S. The baby girl in this picture is graduating! Holy moly!

03/05/2021

Did you know that problem-solving skills are in high demand in the workforce? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But how do we help our kids develop the ability to solve problems?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We let them solve problems!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That means we refrain from swooping in and fixing things for them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It means we can ask, "How do you think you should handle that?" instead of offering advice right out of the gate.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We can also discuss real-world problems from the news (you won't have to look far!) and ask our kids to come up with solutions they think will work.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This makes for great dinner table conversation! My challenge for you this week is to give it a try.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let me know how it goes!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
P.S. If you want a hard copy of 40 skills to teach your teens before they leave home, you can download it with the link in my profile.

29/04/2021

It’s getting real around here!

Also, my fourth child turns 16 next week. She told her friends that I was 48 years old and was shocked beyond measure when I informed her I was *only* 43. She literally held her ground for 10 minutes, convinced I did not know my own age.

It’s a downhill slide to the nursing home from here, folks. Let’s get this party started! Who wants an invitation?? 😂

21/04/2021

Ten months ago, I had a total thyroidectomy to remove a fully-functioning thyroid. Why would I remove an organ that regulates metabolism, energy levels, mood, and SO much more? I asked myself the same question.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But when push came to shove, I could not justify leaving a baseball-sized collection of thyroid nodules inside my body, even though the initial biopsy came back clean. It was starting to displace my esophagus, which was not good.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I read all the horror stories about how a thyroidectomy made people feel terrible. They gained weight like crazy (apparently 20-30 lbs is considered NORMAL!), had little energy, were depressed, etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That did not make me feel better.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But the baseball had to come out. They found a little spot of cancer in there, too, which went away with the thyroid and didn’t require further treatment. Dodged a bullet!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I know SO many people struggle with thyroid issues, so let me offer you the perspective of 10 months sans thyroid:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. I feel pretty darn good. I do not suffer from the debilitating conditions I read about online. Annoyances? Yes. But all is well.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. I am a HIGH energy person and, even post-thyroidectomy, I wake up before 6:00, work all day, and RARELY nap. After 7:00 pm, I am exhausted, but I am OK because I have energy all day.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. I have gained between 3-5 pounds depending on the day. But, let’s be honest: with COVID and a STRESSFUL year, a couple of pounds is not that big of a deal. And I have not changed my diet at all until I decided to give up sugar a few days ago. I am currently not willing to give up gluten, dairy, and all joyful foods, which many thyroid experts recommend. Baby steps.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Moral? The horror stories, while valid, do not represent all thyroid patients. And, while I would prefer a thyroid to none, I am cancer-free, and life is still beautiful!

13/04/2021

I LOVE sweets. Like really, really, love them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As part of a coaching program that I am doing right now, I have to give up drinks with sugar/sugar substitutes for 200 days. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I hardly ever drink my sugar - water is my jam - so that will not be a challenge for me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But eating sugar is a whole other ball of wax because I love chocolate way too much, so I will tackle that one instead.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
200 days...almost seven months of not eating sugar...heaven, help me!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have gone six weeks without sugar before, so I know I CAN do it. In fact, I didn't even want it anymore after a week or so.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am struggling to WANT to do it, however.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But, let's get real...since I no longer have a thyroid, sugar is not my friend.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And I DO want to gain more self-mastery.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So please give me all your tips, friends. How can I make this process more doable? I need all the help I can get!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

12/04/2021

My teens get the lovely opportunity of meal-planning and grocery shopping as part of their weekly chores.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The first time my daughter went to the store without me, I got several frantic texts and calls: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"I cannot find the __(fill in the blank)___!! Where is it in the store?!?"⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If your teens know the layout of the grocery store, they will be one step closer to independence.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And, as an added bonus, they will be able to do the grocery shopping without the added stress of "I CAN'T FIND WHAT I NEED!!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Help your teens learn this week's skill of the week by showing them where things are located at your grocery store. Then, at some point soon, we will teach them how to do the shopping. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Who is in??⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
P.S. If you want a hard copy of my guide: 40 skills every teen needs to know - you can download it free right here: https://learn.lynnettesheppard.com/40skills

07/04/2021

This book is awesome!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It is written for teens in a funny but informative way with plenty of pictures.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It teaches them 65 practical skills they will need to be amazing grownups.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you want to prepare your kids for real life, I cannot recommend it enough!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grab your copy on Amazon today.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
P.S. I am not affiliated with this book at all. I just really love it and think you will, too!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Person-Hugely-Super-Important/dp/1635861829/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2HTRW776PO2LW&dchild=1&keywords=how+to+be+a+person+book&qid=1617750118&sprefix=how+to+be+a++per%2Caps%2C204&sr=8-1

06/04/2021

Time for the skill of the week!

Do your teens know which services require a tip and how much to pay?

20% is customary for most things except pizza delivery, where you can tip less - 10-15% - but no less than $5.00.

A valet? $1 to $2

A hotel shuttle? $1 to $2 per bag if they help with your luggage

A skycap? $1 per bag (more if it is heavy)

These are good things to know!

If your teen isn't great with numbers (I am raising my hand!), an easy way to figure out 20% is to start with 10% and double it.

To find 10%, get rid of the last zero.

10% of $5.00 is $.50

10% of $50.00 is $5.00

If your total is $4.89, round up to $5.00 and go from there.

Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy, even for those of us who are mathematically challenged!

This week, allow your teen to practice their tipping skills either in real life or role play.

You've got this!