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DOJ And FBI: There Is No "Naughty List", And Mall Santas Do Not Report To The Real Santa
17/07/2025

DOJ And FBI: There Is No "Naughty List", And Mall Santas Do Not Report To The Real Santa

Following a thorough investigation from the Department of Justice and the FBI, investigators have found that there is not nor has there ever been a "Naughty List" which Santa Claus had reportedly been using to record the names of bad little boys and girls who would be getting coal for

Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats
19/04/2024

Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats

"Please get out and vote, please. You don't understand. Something needs to be done. Please. I'm so fu***ng scared, man. I'm so fu***ng scared. God, please. I don't know what else to do, I don't even know if that will stop him." Democrats urged voters, making some quite ominous claims

Eclipse Will Allow "Entities" To Cross Over To Our Reality, Claims NASA
29/03/2024

Eclipse Will Allow "Entities" To Cross Over To Our Reality, Claims NASA

The internet has been abuzz with the upcoming total solar eclipse, but NASA thinks we should all be taking more precautions for our safety and for the integrity of our dimension, apparently. The important astrological event will apparently make the boundaries of our reality thinner and more "permeab...

Republicans Push For "Temporary Legalized Slavery" For Social And Economic Woes
25/03/2024

Republicans Push For "Temporary Legalized Slavery" For Social And Economic Woes

Desperate times call for desperate measures, apparently, as Republicans are now pushing to bring back a "controlled, temporary form of slavery" that would allow men to own "lesser individuals". The confusing and convoluted proposition would, allegedly, be a "multi-purpose solution" to the many probl...

Quaker Oats Mascot "Larry" Coming To Fortnite
24/03/2024

Quaker Oats Mascot "Larry" Coming To Fortnite

Epic Games has secured yet another impressive crossover for Fortnite. Move over Rick and Morty. Joining the impressive roster of collaboration characters like Goku, Master Chief, and Thanos is "Larry" from Quaker Oats. Quaker's parent company PepsiCo has struck up an incredible deal with Epic that w...

Musk Proposes Tesla Cars Be Fitted With Giant Spring To Avoid Collisions
04/09/2023

Musk Proposes Tesla Cars Be Fitted With Giant Spring To Avoid Collisions

The genius scientific mind behind Tesla, SpaceX, and now the social media site X (formerly and lesserly known as "Twitter" before Musk brought attention and public acclaim to the niche little website) has once again revolutionized the world with his massive, scientific brain. Einstein must be rollin...

Black Mold Exposure Actually Very Good For You, Makes You Happy And Live Longer Actually, Study Finds
03/08/2023

Black Mold Exposure Actually Very Good For You, Makes You Happy And Live Longer Actually, Study Finds

Fake news has been destroyed once again. I love black mold exposure. I love it so much. I love having black mold in my house. I love to have black mold in my house so much and I always feel so happy. I feel so happy whenever I breathe in

Apple's "Vision Pro" VR Headset Will Allow Demons To Show Themselves To Mankind Finally
07/06/2023

Apple's "Vision Pro" VR Headset Will Allow Demons To Show Themselves To Mankind Finally

The final barriers are being broken. Soon, with the release of Apple's "mixed reality" headset, we will be able to mix the reality of our realm with the realm beyond our senses. Those that lurk in the realm beyond our senses will be able to interact with us for the

Christian Leaders To "Have No S*x" In Protest Of Pride Month
05/06/2023

Christian Leaders To "Have No S*x" In Protest Of Pride Month

Pride Month has begun to receive more and more backlash from conservative and Christian leaders, with many calling upon corporations to stop pushing the "homosexual agenda" upon the country and their children. They've organized boycotts of companies that have ran pride-themed ad campaigns, and prote...

"Link Loves Zelda, Not Ganondorf" Confused Miyamoto Confirms
04/06/2023

"Link Loves Zelda, Not Ganondorf" Confused Miyamoto Confirms

Nintendo has made a very perplexing official statement today, confirming that main protagonist of the Legend of Zelda series, Link, is not in love with the main villain, Ganondorf. Link, the hero, is in fact in love with the princess that he very often is rescuing, Zelda. For some reason,

Re-Election Of Turkish President Erdoğan Will Have No Bearing On Next Season Of "90 Day Fiancé"
03/06/2023

Re-Election Of Turkish President Erdoğan Will Have No Bearing On Next Season Of "90 Day Fiancé"

With Erdoğan being re-elected for yet another new term, many were concerned that the state of Turkey's democracy and world government as a whole might somehow impact our lives. What does Turkey mean for me? This guy, I don't even know who he is. Will I still be able to

Mad Catz To Release Third-Party Candidate For Upcoming Election
29/05/2023

Mad Catz To Release Third-Party Candidate For Upcoming Election

Mad Catz, known for their third-party gaming peripherals, has announced that they will be creating their first ever third-party political candidate for the upcoming election in hopes of giving voters a cheaper wired alternative to the often expensive first-party political candidates from the major f...

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