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DOJ And FBI: There Is No "Naughty List", And Mall Santas Do Not Report To The Real Santa
17/07/2025

DOJ And FBI: There Is No "Naughty List", And Mall Santas Do Not Report To The Real Santa

Following a thorough investigation from the Department of Justice and the FBI, investigators have found that there is not nor has there ever been a "Naughty List" which Santa Claus had reportedly been using to record the names of bad little boys and girls who would be getting coal for

Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats
19/04/2024

Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats

"Please get out and vote, please. You don't understand. Something needs to be done. Please. I'm so fu***ng scared, man. I'm so fu***ng scared. God, please. I don't know what else to do, I don't even know if that will stop him." Democrats urged voters, making some quite ominous claims

Eclipse Will Allow "Entities" To Cross Over To Our Reality, Claims NASA
29/03/2024

Eclipse Will Allow "Entities" To Cross Over To Our Reality, Claims NASA

The internet has been abuzz with the upcoming total solar eclipse, but NASA thinks we should all be taking more precautions for our safety and for the integrity of our dimension, apparently. The important astrological event will apparently make the boundaries of our reality thinner and more "permeab...

Republicans Push For "Temporary Legalized Slavery" For Social And Economic Woes
25/03/2024

Republicans Push For "Temporary Legalized Slavery" For Social And Economic Woes

Desperate times call for desperate measures, apparently, as Republicans are now pushing to bring back a "controlled, temporary form of slavery" that would allow men to own "lesser individuals". The confusing and convoluted proposition would, allegedly, be a "multi-purpose solution" to the many probl...

Quaker Oats Mascot "Larry" Coming To Fortnite
24/03/2024

Quaker Oats Mascot "Larry" Coming To Fortnite

Epic Games has secured yet another impressive crossover for Fortnite. Move over Rick and Morty. Joining the impressive roster of collaboration characters like Goku, Master Chief, and Thanos is "Larry" from Quaker Oats. Quaker's parent company PepsiCo has struck up an incredible deal with Epic that w...

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