Christian News Satire
Feel the love and unity...
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/politics/next-step-for-bidens-unity-plan-revealed-ban-communication-using-pigeons/
Today, Biden unveiled the next step to unify America: ban communication using pigeons. "We've done a good job so far of making sure only
Now it makes more sense.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/news/merriam-webster-changes-its-definiton-of-unity-to-mean-conformity/
UNITED STATES (DD) - After changing the meaning of the term "sexual preference" during the Amy Comey Barrett nomination hearings, Merriam-Webster is at it again. This time, they're changing the word "unity" after presumptive president-elect Joe Biden called for unity earlier this week. Under the upd
Right on cue...
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/news/with-biden-in-office-media-embark-4-year-vacation/
UNITED STATES (DD) - Media outlets across the country greeted the news that a Democrat is the president-elect by immediately embarking on a four-year vacation. As is customary, all mainstream media will refrain from hard-hitting journalism for the next four years, or until there is a Republican pres
BREAKING: Media Taking 4-Year Vacation
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/news/with-biden-in-office-media-embark-4-year-vacation/
UNITED STATES (DD) - Media outlets across the country greeted the news that a Democrat is the president-elect by immediately embarking on a four-year vacation. As is customary, all mainstream media will refrain from hard-hitting journalism for the next four years, or until there is a Republican pres
You gotta have goals I guess.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/politics/california-governor-optimistic-capitalist-free-society/
SACRAMENTO (DD) - In a Zoom press conference Thursday, Governor Gavin Newsom declared his optimism for a capitalist free society by the year 2030. “We know, um, it’s going to, uh, take a lot of, um, work but we, uh, uh, uh, uh, believe we can eliminate, um, free-market business, uh, by the end o...
We have a winner!
WASHINGTON D.C. (DD) - In a remarkable turn of events, election officials have declared a winner in the 2020 presidential race. Donald Biden is the 46th President of the United States. If his name sounds familiar, that's because Donald Biden is an AI robot that combines all the qualities of Donal
Biden's attempt to start looking alive....
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/politics/obama-trains-biden-for-three-step-jogs/
WASHINGTON D.C. (DD) - You may have noticed a little spring in former Vice-President Joe Biden's step recently. That's no accident. The presidential candidate has been hard at work for months, training to jog three steps on stages across America. What you may not have known, however, that Biden h
Not the worst idea of 2020....
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/sports/incredible-is-this-the-luckiest-penalty-youll-ever-see/
NEW YORK CITY (DD) – NFL commissioner Roger Goodell issued a statement Tuesday announcing the Super Bowl will continue as planned despite coronavirus concerns. "The safety of our fans is of paramount and we will do everything possible to protect the health of everyone who attends the game," said G...
Republicans parched at the office.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/news/dorsey-installing-democrat-water-coolers/
SAN FRANCISCO (DD) – A week after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey testified before Senators concerning censorship of conservative content, Dorsey is launching an effort to replace water coolers in offices around the country. The water cooler is the unofficial meeting place for millions of workers to disc
Did he really say that?
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/politics/cnn-hosts-burst-laughter-biden-declares-himself-moderate/
NEW YORK CITY (DD) – On the eve of the 2020 United States presidential election, former Vice-President Joe Biden told declared himself as politically moderate. The statement, which was aired live on CNN, prompted an immediate outburst of laughter from the network's prime-time pundits, Don Lemon an...
Students at this university can now major in Bidenese .
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/politics/duis-aute-irure-dolor-in-reprehenderit-in-voluptate-velit-esse/
NEWARK, NJ (DD) - In a surprise move Tuesday, the University of Deleware announced the creation of a new language studies major to honor one of their alumni. The major will be called "Bidenese," named after former Vice-President Joe Biden. The university wants to recognize Biden's unique way of s
Rivers wants legit football games at home.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/sports/rivers-wants-enough-kids-to-make-football-team/
INDIANAPOLIS (DD) – God says be fruitful and multiply. Indianapolis Colts quarterback Philip Rivers and his wife Tiffany are doing their part. The couple, who are devout in their Catholic faith, are parents to nine children. And if Philip has his way, they'll have even more kids. Many. More. K
A true inspiration.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/christian-life/man-understands-14-percent-of-revelations-sets-world-record/
LE CLAIRE, IA (DD) - The Guinness Book of World Records recognized David U. Korne as the world-record holder in Book of Revelation comprehension. Korne beat out three other finalists at the Revelation Bowl in Le Claire on Saturday. The contestants were put through a battery of rapid-fire question
The internet broke yesterday but not because of the election.
https://www.thedoomsdaily.com/christian-life/the-dooms-daily-launches-on-election-day/
UNITED STATES (DD) - Christian news satire site The Dooms Daily launched on November 3, 2020. Almost immediately CNN suspended election night coverage to lambast the launch. Host Chris Cuomo went full "Network" saying "Americans are mad as hell. Seriously, is this what it's come to? A news satire si
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