24/10/2021
First off this is not an easy post to write, but here it is...
Over the past few weeks and months I haven't been able to find the enthusiasm for creating content, and this is for numerous reasons.
1. Demotivating growth
The channel has never grown how I truly thought it would. I always talked privately amongst friends about "giving it two years". Well those two years passed nearly 8 months back, and I can't truly say I'm happy with the channel.
2. Cost vs reward
I was never in YouTube to make money or earn a living, but financial breakeven is an absolute must to survive. Being a self-styled "product basher" (independent reviewer), comes at a cost. That cost being that very few brands are confident enough, or comfortable with dishing out free products to me. There are a few who have, namely The Detail Guardz, Garage Therapy, Powermaxed, TurtleWax, and Jennychem, but that's it! I don't get products thrown at me week in, week out, and that then costs me personally to buy products to produce content. Most videos I make barely make 10% of the initial outlay.
The reward that I am getting from YouTube is dwindling with each day that passes, and I'm not just talking about financial reward here.
For example, last week I removed/deleted the lowest performing 45 videos from my channel, combined over the last 12 months, those 45 videos made a grand total of £2.56.
3. Psychological issues
Producing "negative" content invites "criticism", my blocked lists on Facebook/Instagram/YouTube runs into the high 100's (and I'm not exaggerating), most of these are simply trolls aiming needless insults. But a handful have been over the line. Regardless of what you think, typing some of this stuff into public domains is NOT acceptable. These comments and conversations (behind my back on public pages 😒) are seen and do take their toll.
There is also the obsession with the channel numbers. By nature I am a very obsessive person, and having the YouTube Studio app is a curse! Every morning I was waking up, and before even getting out of bed, I checked my stats, EVERY day! Before bed it's the same, and literally tens of times a day.
I spoke to a friend of mine this week and discussed all of the above, his tongue in cheek response was "become a shill" (a definition for those who don't know is...
"A swindler who poses as a genuine customer to entice or encourage others.")
But he was right, that's how content creators in most areas ultimately survive. You say bad things you diminish your pool of free content, you say good things and it's likely to continue as it benefits both parties financially. Just have a think, when was the last time you saw a negative review from some?
I am NOT prepared to do this, but I am also not prepared to financially or mentally continue as it is. I tried to offer a real difference on my channel, and I thought that brutal honesty was what was missing from the platform, and that people would really appreciate that stance I took. This clearly (in the main) was not what the "community" wanted.
As an outcome from all of the above, I have decided to step back from producing product review content for a little while, possibly/probably a long while/indefinitely. Any ongoing long term tests will be completed in private for my own knowledge, but will not be filmed for the channel. I will be going back to simpler times when it was just me and my garage. 🙂
Thank you to everyone who has genuinely supported my channel, some of you on every single video, regardless of the genre of the content. You select few guys are amazing. But for now, it's just a "See you next time, goodbye" 👋
Beast... out.