Survivors Discuss

10/12/2023

Anti-racism **has** to be more than an intellectual pursuit. It needs to breathe through every part of our lives.

Learn more from R Scott Okamoto on Survivors Discuss podcast episode 4!

09/12/2023

The world runs on whiteness, and deconstruction circles are no different.

Hear more wisdom from Faithfully Radical on Survivors Discuss episode 4!

08/12/2023

Hear more truth from LaToya Thompson on Survivors Discuss podcast Episode 4

07/12/2023

As survivors, we are used to white-knuckling through life. We're used to fighting to survive. Many of us struggle with self-compassion for a few reasons:

1. We've internalized all the shame that was poured out on us through years of abuse. We have the voice(s) of our abusers living in our heads, telling us the cruelest lies about ourselves
2. When we live in survival mode, self-compassion seems like a luxury we cannot afford.
3. We have no model or example for what it means to love ourselves well.

But we can start small.

We can choose to say nice things to ourselves. We can take a moment to notice when we've accomplished something - even if accomplishment looks like just getting through the day.

We can allow ourselves a treat now and then.

We can allow ourselves to rest when our bodies are exhausted.

Friend, you are so very worthy of love and compassion. Please don't ever forget that. 💜

06/12/2023

R Scott Okamoto is shining light on toxic church culture and its impact on BIPOC communities. Listen to episode four of Survivors Discuss now to learn more!

05/12/2023

White supremacy is baked into the very foundations of society. Listen to this clip from episode 4 as LaToya Thompson describes what this means and why it's important to both deconstruct AND decolonize.

04/12/2023

Listen to episode 4 of Survivors Discuss Podcast to hear more from R Scott Okamoto

03/12/2023

Leave it to Clare to say what everyone else is thinking.

03/12/2023

i don’t know who needs to hear this but

02/12/2023

So I don't know whether any of y'all have watched the Twin Flames documentary on Amazon Prime or on Netflix. There's two of them. Both quite worth a watch.

But I have two thoughts to bring to you about cults:

One is that it's a very important observation that not all cults are religious. Twin Flames didn't start out as a religious cult, it ended up that way, and one might ask why.

Well, I think it's this. Religion dovetails so nicely with cultism because the first person we externalize our power to is God and, in some context, this isn't necessarily a bad thing if faith is enriching and free of coercive control. But if you're already in the habit of externalizing your power to, to God, it's pretty easy for a central charismatic figure to establish the kind of relationship, or the kind of social power, that can let them step into the gap between the human and the divine and say, "you've got to come through me. I'm the special channel."

So that's the first thing.

The second thing is this.

Gone are the days when we need a commune out in the middle of nowhere. We don't need Jonestown. We don't need Waco, Texas. You can form an intense, introspective, closed circuit of like-minded believers that reject the outside world on the internet.

That's what happened with Escaping Twin Flames, and I can see how a lot of other people could use this same technology to establish their own cults.

___

01/12/2023

It's a fair question.

30/11/2023

Because I had been taught to look to others, particularly authority figures, for the truth or guidance on the path of righteousness, I never had a chance to learn how to trust myself or my own intuitions in life.

I know that I am not alone. So many of us, who have survived spiritual abuse and toxic religion, have been groomed into not trusting ourselves and to always look to someone else to have the answers to everything in life.

- Shari

Read more from Shari's blog post, "How Spiritual Abuse Leads To Mistrust Of Self," on the blog: https://survivorsdiscuss.com/2023/08/27/how-spiritual-abuse-leads-to-mistrust-of-self/

___

30/11/2023

Just a reminder 💕

🥰✨

29/11/2023

Does this resonate with anyone else?

Ever since I made the desperately hard choice to go no contact with my family of origin, there's been no shortage of people who respond to this revelation by encouraging me to find new family.

I know the intention is good, but it still feels dismissive.

Found family is a beautiful thing to have, but it never replaces family of origin and all of the hopes and fantasies we may have harbored that, somehow, things could be different.

-Shari

28/11/2023

I’m thinking a lot lately about how wellness looks different for everyone. Not everyone’s going to find the same benefits from the same wellness practices. Everyone’s body is different, everyone’s mind and mental condition is different, and that’s okay. And I think it’s hard to recognize that when we’re comparing ourselves to each other online.

For me, living with Complex PTSD can be a minute by minute struggle. Like today, I was dealing with a lot of varying degrees of anxiety and stress from different aspects of my life. I try to take care of myself today by taking a nap in the morning and making myself a vegetable soup for lunch and taking my medication.

- Cait West

Read more from Cait's blog post, "CPTSD & Wellness" on the website: https://survivorsdiscuss.com/2023/11/12/c-ptsd-wellness/

27/11/2023

Lose the "forgive and forget" mindset. We're doig "remember and recover."

- Clare

27/11/2023

👇

I need this pin


I'm sorry for what I said as an evangelical teenager.

26/11/2023

Catch Survivors Discuss Podcast episode 4 for more 🔥🔥🔥from R Scott Okamoto

25/11/2023

Faithfully Radical is preaching a whole sermon on episode 4 of the Survivors Discuss.

24/11/2023

I mean... has anyone ever actually sat down and read this thing??

23/11/2023

Have you ever wondered why smart people join cults?

Here are some risk factors that might surprise you.

1. Feeling lonely, depressed, uncertain or thinking there must be more to life than this.

(I've totally done that)

2. Being socially isolated or going down cyber rabbit holes into something called cyber isolation.

3. Being love bombed by an individual or a group of people.

(It's intoxicating and hey, we all love connection)

4. Being targeted by something called phobia indoctrination. By people in real life or on the internet.

5. Identifying with an us versus them mentality.

See, it could happen to any of us. Any of us could fall victim to extreme groups or ideologies or cults.

23/11/2023

Episode 4 is LIVE!

Join LaToya Thompson Faithfully Radical and R Scott Okamoto as they talk about racism in evangelicalism, decolonizing faith, intersectionality, and what it means to be an anti-racist as we move forward. White supremacy has deep roots in evangelicalism, and all too often, racist ideas and attitudes can follow us into the exvangelical community. Decolonizing our way of thinking is essential as we deconstruct our faith and find a new path away from toxic religion.

Listen on Podbean or wherever you get your podcasts!

https://survivorsdiscuss.podbean.com/e/christianity-race-and-white-supremacy-the-lived-experience-and-the-road-to-anti-racism/

22/11/2023

We don’t assume progress is a given.

We don’t assume reason will win the argument. We keep up our advocacy, our allyship. We wrap our arms around those who are deconstructing or have deconstructed their faith, and who may see this time with increasing anxiety and even fear.

And to those people, I’d say John Nelson Darby first proposed and popularised the pre-tribulation rapture in 1827, the same year he hit his head really hard.

I got you.

-Clare

Read more from Clare's blog post, "Evangelicals, Head Injuries, And The End Times" on our website: https://survivorsdiscuss.com/2023/10/24/evangelicals-head-injuries-and-the-end-times/

22/11/2023

$120 for me. What did you get?

- Shari

$230 for my pentecostal self. I only gave myself $10 for "Cast out a demon" because I only *tried* to. Unsuccessfully. On my then fiancé.🫠

(To clarify: it was unsuccessful because there was no demon not because it's still there😅)

21/11/2023

Our high control environments taught us that our worth came from how we behaved.

It came from our submission.

It came from meeting some definition of purity.

It came from handing over control of our bodies and our voices to those who claimed authority over us.

Healing will come from learning to own our voices and our bodies. We get to come home to ourselves and make the choices that are right and healthy for us.

20/11/2023

Something a lot of survivors have to deal with is using tool, meant to keep us safe, and weaponizing them against us.

Remember: a person who does this to you is not someone who is entitled to your space.

People who want to maintain power OVER us aren’t gonna play fair in relationships, my friend. It’s toxic, it’s abusive, but it’s also just a fact. 🚩

That includes nabbing healthy psychological concepts like “boundaries” and TWISTING them to make us feel like WE’RE not respecting boundaries! 😵‍💫

Before we know it, we’re bending over backwards even FURTHER.

We’re walking on eggshells, silencing our voice, minimizing our needs, all the whole worrying that WE are the ones being abusive.

After all, that’s what they tell us is happening…

But they’re not playing fair.

They’re not in the relationship to practice LOVE.

They’re in the relationship to TAKE.

And that means they have very different goals.

They’re weaponizing our conscientiousness, manipulating us by tapping into our (healthy!) desire to be loving and kind.

And that’s not okay. 💞

Wanna know what the best defense for this is?

Discovering our ACTUAL boundaries.

Because they can’t twist what we *know* to be the truth.

The truth sets us free. ✨

No more worrying about whether we’re being treated badly (or treating them badly).

We can discover EXACTLY what healthy boundaries are.

They are relying on our ignorance to maintain their power.

And THAT is something we can change.

❤️
Molly
Counselor-turned-Boundaries-Guide

Want some immediate and practical help with this?

My Boundaries 101 class blows the doors off of their lies, helping my clients see what boundaries actually are (on a deep crystal-clear level). 🥰

Full of practical tools, formulas, and teachings, these 7 powerful lessons will help you crack the boundaries code with a beautiful blueprint you can use for the rest of your life. ✨

Best of all, right now it’s on SALE!!!!! 🥳💃🏻

Learn more at:
https://boundaried.com 🦋
(Link in bio)

18/11/2023

Today, on Cult Awareness Day, we are sitting with the survivors, and the loved ones of those who did not survive, of all cults and high control religion.

💜

Cult Awareness Day brings awareness to harms that some have experienced in cultic systems. This year's International Cult Awareness Day is a time to reflect on the 45th Anniversary of Jonestown.

https://www.cultawarenessday.com/

18/11/2023

So true!

18/11/2023

100%

17/11/2023

Are you mental health professional or someone who works with those healing from religious trauma? This may be something for you to look into!

17/11/2023

"For me, living with Complex PTSD can be a minute by minute struggle. Like today, I was dealing with a lot of varying degrees of anxiety and stress from different aspects of my life. I try to take care of myself today by taking a nap in the morning and making myself a vegetable soup for lunch and taking my medication.

I'm trying to take the resilience I learned in surviving abuse and putting it into healing. I didn't feel great today, but taking the time moment by moment to take care of myself made a difference." - Cait West

Read more on the blog: https://survivorsdiscuss.com/2023/11/12/c-ptsd-wellness/

17/11/2023

Does this resonate with you? It certainly does for me!

- Shari

16/11/2023

Will you be joining Cait West at the Calvin Festival of Faith & Writing in April?

Check the link for all the details!

Festival Circles are small groups that meet during lunch on Friday and Saturday to discuss a topic of common interest. Each circle is composed of no more than 20 attendees and is led or co-led by other Festivalgoers (whose proposals were accepted this fall).

16/11/2023

If you are breaking cycles by seeking healing, please honour the strength and courage inside of yourself that it took to do that 💜

Stopping long enough to heal from our trauma, heal from our abuse and heal from our hurts so that we break the cycles for ourselves and those around us, dang, that’s bravery wrapped in strength.

Be well, 💙
REBEKAH drumsta

PC Case Kenny

15/11/2023

The truth is coming out about the dangerous inner workings of IFB church in the new docu-series, Let Us Prey. Will you be watching this?

15/11/2023

C-PTSD can feel debilitating at times, but Shari is reminding us that there is hope even when it's hard to see.

"While the symptoms between [PTSD & C-PTSD] are similar, the difference is that CPTSD is a relational trauma, and deeply impacts a person’s ability to trust others and themselves.

Symptoms include:

Nightmares
Intrusive thoughts
emotional flashbacks
Avoidance
Dissociation
Difficulty maintaining relationships
Difficulty regulating emotions
If you live with CPTSD, there is hope. None of us are truly stuck!

A trauma-informed therapist can help you develop a treatment plan to help your body and nervous system develop new skills to regulate in new ways. Mindful self-compassion can help us push back against the cruel inner voice that so many of carry with us. Medication may also be helpful. Check the bottom of the article for some resources that may be helpful for you."

West Shari A Smith

https://survivorsdiscuss.com/2023/11/12/c-ptsd-wellness/

15/11/2023

Have you seen this interview with Jill Duggar? She has some great stuff to say about being estranged from family and working to be healthy

https://fb.watch/ok5CrP140j/?mibextid=UVffzb