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Jumanji (1995)Film Description:  “When two kids find and play a magical board game, they release a man trapped in it for...
10/04/2020

Jumanji (1995)

Film Description: “When two kids find and play a magical board game, they release a man trapped in it for decades--and a host of dangers that can only be stopped by finishing the game.”

Robin Williams in this throwback to 1995 when he was starring in a lot of films across several decades. (R.I.P). One of my most favourite US comedians starring in this film that was so “ok” they made it twice!! This Jumanji also launched the career of a very young Kirsten Dunst.

My synopsis of the film:
In the 1800’s two children bury the game. In 1969 the game emerges at a dig site and is taken home by a young boy named Paul. Paul later plays the game with his “girl” “friend”, Sarah goes 1st and rolls a 6, Paul goes 2nd and rolls a 5, he gets sucked into the game and the only chance he can get out is if someone rolls a 5 or 8. Sarah freaks out…. then gets chased out of the house by a flock of African Bats!!!!!

Roll on 1995…. a derelict house gets purchased by an aunt of 2 children, they find the game and the action kicks in. The comedy and the adventure of Jumanji is actually really good and the effects are very good for when it was filmed. My kids loved this film, I asked the which one they preferred between the 2 Jumanji’s - they said the 2nd one but they did sit all the way through the 1st one and loved all the animals and the characters….

Now for my emoji score of the film:
Story 😍�Script 😍�Music 💩�Acting 💩�Aged Well 😍�Overall enjoyment 😍

So an above average enjoyable film for all the family. Robin Williams in not his best film but he puts a lot into it and the rest of the cast follow his lead…

CROC (2007)Well, what can I say about this erm…… film….. (for want of a better word).  Not a classic by any stretch of t...
22/03/2020

CROC (2007)

Well, what can I say about this erm…… film….. (for want of a better word). Not a classic by any stretch of the imagination. I watched this as part of my “self-isolation” this afternoon.

Film Description: “A huge man-eating crocodile terrorizes people near Krabi, Thailand. Michael Madsen plays a hunter stalking the beast, while a local tries to blame a foreign crocodile-farm owner for the crocodile's rampage.”

My synopsis of the film:
Writing, storyline, acting, new ideas, excitement, common sense and direction…… this had none. It took me all of my strength to stay sitting and not change the channel/film to watch paint drying. It is literally 1hr40mins of my life that I will never see again. From poor acting to lack of imagination (and budget probably) - this film had no chance and should not have even been attempted. From old footage of different crocodiles being used for the actual croc footage, in clear water (that’s mirky) to mirky water (that’s as clear as a pool) in the same pieces of water to just plain bad acting!!!

Michael Madsen - hang your head in shame…..

Now for my emoji score of the film:
Story 💩
�Script 💩�
Music 💩
�Acting 💩
�Aged Well 💩
�Overall enjoyment 💩

The poor younger sibling to the classic “Lake Placid” which had its own flaws, but Lake Placid had better effects and acting.

So a very poor 6 out of 6 💩’s from me.�
💩 - 💩 - 💩 - 💩 - 💩 - 💩 - 💩 - 💩

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982)A classic movie from my youth, decided to watch it with both my girls, aged 7 & 9 tonig...
09/11/2019

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982)

A classic movie from my youth, decided to watch it with both my girls, aged 7 & 9 tonight and wondered how and if it would engage them considering they had not heard of it until 2 minutes before we put it on.

Remembering part way through that this film launched the career's of two child actresses, the 1st being Drew Barrymore, the 2nd......??????? Who can honestly guess or know without google...... be honest in your comments?

My Synopsis of the film:
Plant stealing aliens land near a small US town. US officials turn up and chase away the mothership leaving a beer guzzling fridge raiding cross dressing alien behind. (This description reminds me of ALF)

E.T. takes it upon himself to build a contraption from old tat he finds lying around to make long distance calls on for free!!! (apart from the cost of the toys) and at the same time making Elliot (his friend) very ill and close to death.

Watching it again after over 30 years - I was not bored, or desperate for it to finish, in-fact in from when I first watched it, old memories of watching the film came flooding back.

Steven Spielberg made many classic & history making films and this was definitely one of them. There was also a reference in it to "Close encounters of a third kind" (another Spielberg film) that I had not seen before or I had forgotten.

Finally, the kids loved it, Skyla (7) is a little younger and harder to engage in some films but this kept her interest, Neve (9) loved it and they both laughed in the right parts and got upset in the right parts. I thoroughly enjoyed it again, as did Sharon.

Now for my emoji score of the film:

Story 😍
Script 😍
Music 😍
Acting 😍
Aged Well 😍
Overall enjoyment 😍

6 out of 6....... I thought I would never give a perfect score until I watched this film. It ticked every box and if you are young or old, take the time to watch a bit of cinematographic history in all it's glory.........

04/10/2019

Jurassic Park I (One)

Fantastic, Sam Neil and the chaos guy Jeff Goldblum - Genius.

My Synopsis of the film:
Priveieged kids get to ride in dinosaur theme park with dinosaur experts and everything goes t**s up!!!

Now for my emoji score of the film:

Story 😍
Script 💩
Music 😍
Acting 😍
Aged Well 😍
Overall enjoyment 😍

5 out of 6....... still "A Classic"

04/10/2019

Jurassic Park I - Coming Soon

24/08/2019

The Wizard Of Oz. I say this about it, if it was pitched to movie producers in this politically correct farce and in this day and age it would never have been made due to political correctness!!! Don't even get me started on a witch that can't get wet! Worst Witch ever..........

My Synopsis of the film:
Spoilt teenage girl with dangerous dog travels to another world, kills two x witches, steals one witch's shoes, makes lots of friends and get's off scot free.

That being said, it was made and it was engaging for many age groups. I know this because in todays day and age if you aren't engaged in something you are usually otherwise engaged on your phone or tablet. I was in a hospital waiting room with this film on the TV and the sound barely audible and yet everyone was watching it and almost everyone knew the words to all of the songs across all age groups, from young kids to middle aged and older people.

Now for my emoji score of the film:

Story 😍
Script 💩
Music 😍
Acting 💩
Aged Well 😍
Overall enjoyment 😍

4 out of 6....... still "A Classic"

24/08/2019

Following on from my "One Time" review of Conan The Barbarian and after receiving many comments about other films I have decided to watch old "retro" movies and review them.

💩 x 6 = SH*TE!!

😍 x 6 = AWESOME!!

The results are based on 6 areas of the film itself, these are: Story, Script, Music, Acting, Aged Well & Overall Enjoyment.

These opinions are not based on any truth, they are just my opinion.

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