What if Trump had been a

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What if Trump had been a Satirical look at Donald J. Trump as greatest poet, philosopher and songwriter of all time.

04/09/2020

What if Trump had written the Star Spangled Banner:

O say can you see by the dawn's early white
much earlier than anyone thought,
nobody knew it would be dawn,
who I thought was a good band
but without Tony Orlando they were nothing,
seriously.... so dawn,
that's when the chickens moo,
so early into the evening of the day before the McBreakfast menu
stops and the McLunch McMenu McBegins
What so proudly we hailed bullets down at the twilight's last gleaming
what the hell is this, first it's dawn then its the twilight zone,
wwooooo woooooo bip bap bop
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
like the good old days - John Wayne, Clint Homeward,
Doris Dawn.... now they were real stars....
through the perilous fight
which, you know, my doctor signed a certificate so I didn't have to go, although I wanted to go.... to Nam...
O'er the ramparts we stumbled, frankly, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, like the confederate fathers, the bombs bursting in air - which is a waste of good ammunition if you ask me, and all the generals they all say to me 'where do you get this stuff from?'
Gave proof through the night - now, I wanted to testify, but the legal team, they said 'no, your time is too valuable to tell the tru... to go in there and you know, we all know it, it's a witch hunt,
Is the flag still there? It is? Well it can't be that bad, can it.
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the biggest crowds in human history, anywhere, any time.
Ever.

04/09/2020

What if Donald Trump had written songs for Justin Bieber?

“Baby”
Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa
You know you love me, you have to love me,
Just scream or whatever and I'll send Eric over
You are my love, you are the p***y I love to grab
cos Today is Tuesday
And we will never, ever, ever be apart
except in that Moscow hotel,
oh baby baby baby
Are we an item? Send me the invoice,
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends, what are you sayin'
I never even met you,
they said you did errands in the office,
Look right in my eyes,
If I'm lying I'm lying
My first love, whatever the hell that is
And I was like baby, baby, baby oh
help me down this sloping ramp,
baby baby baby baby open this bottle of water for me
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
in the literal sense of the word
was gonna keep you in the cellar underground
like one of those Austrian geniuses
on account of the prenuptial I made you sign
but you know what,
I myself never signed it oh....
Baby, baby, baby oh
Like baby, baby, I'm a baby no
Like baby, baby, I'm a big fat baby ooh
I thought you'd always be mine, mine
I mean literally mine

04/09/2020

What If Donald Trump had been one of the Beatles?

"Let Her Be/Letter B"
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Like they’re always out to get me,
The fake media, the socialist extremists,
My sister Mary, you know my sister right?
One of the great judges of the justices judge thing
She comes to me and she goes, she says, Oh Donald you’re a genius
Speaking words, the best words, of wisdom and she says
Just letter b. That's my favourite letter.
And in the hours of darkness,
We call it the night time,
She stands right in front of me, so I have to
Shove her out of the way like the President of Monte Negroes
You saw that, that was his fault he got in the place I was gonna be in,
And she says letter b, letter b,
She keeps saying it,
Letter b, letter b
Whispering the best words, some say the greatest words since Lincoln,
Honest Adolf,
Let her be.

04/09/2020

What If Donald Trump was a singer-songwriter:

"House of the Most Rising Sun"
There is … a house…. A huge house, some say the best house,
In New Orleans….. have you seen what they’ve done to New Orleans?
They call, they’re always calling, the fake news,
The Rising Sun, it’s like a Japanese thing, the house of the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin, like the radical democrats,
Of many a poor girl, like prostitutes, you grab ‘em by the p***y,
And God, like in the Corinthianites, you remember those?
I know I’m the chosen one

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