FSJNews

18/08/2023

Massive Secret Sponsorships Behind Granny X Games

The combination of eXtreme sports, reduced reaction times, poorer vestibular systems and frailer bodies will make for must see TV

18/08/2023

Internet Users in Fear of Powerful Monetization Virusmone

Internet users are struck by a mysterious monetization virus. F$JNews investigates.

17/08/2023

Contract Manager Finds Government Procurement to be “Fast, Easy & Fun!”

Ellen Furgess (a pseudonym) is a supplier satisfaction auditor who works for the U.S. Department of Defense. Her job is largely pointless. For 23 years, Ellen has conducted surveys of various aerospace and defense companies involved in government procurement. She isn't allowed to ask about any of th...

17/08/2023

New Study Reveals Real Impostors Don’t Suffer from Imposter Syndrome

According to lead author, Prof. Mayd Itup, the results could overturn years of commonly acceptance guidance. "Basically, when it comes to Imposter Syndrome, psychological researchers have been making it all up."

16/08/2023

The Tapestry of Michael Jr.

There’s a cement cross plastered onto the side of the building and a few square windows have been knocked out and replaced with arched ones. But the job is iffy, at best. It didn’t make the place look any nicer. But it did succeed in making it look loved.

16/08/2023

Prigozhin Retires from Wagner, Becomes Life Coach

F$JNews had the chance to catch up with the famous mercenary at his new office on the 12th floor of the new Defenestration Tower in downtown Belarus.

15/08/2023

Alien Offers Exclusive Course in Intergalactic Accounting

Famed Betelgeusian accounting and finance specialist Mr. BeeBooBee has decided to offer its intergalactically famous Intergalactic Accounting & Finance 101 course to mere Earthlings.

15/08/2023

New EVTOL Shocks Industry

Flight of Fantasy’s new EVTOL managed to meet all of its requirements. It carried out a full day of fully laden flight at advertised distances with the projected on-the-ground turnaround times. To date, no other EVTOL has come close to meeting these objectives. F$JNews reached out to Flight of Fan...

14/08/2023

COO Sees ‘Face of Business’ During L*D Trip *d

"I suddenly understood everything. The whole organization was like a living organism before my eyes... I understood what factors had the largest impact on the business – even the non-obvious ones. I could see past the existing data and into the truth of the corporation. I could sense redundancies ...

14/08/2023

Electronic Game Corp. announces Acquisition of Scratch and Sniff Company

"When it comes to games, people often forget about smell. ECG is about to fix that."

13/08/2023

Central Banks Caught Playing Interest Rate Roulette

U.S. Fed caught demonstrating how they determine fiscal policy using interest rate roulette...

13/08/2023

New AI Rescues Readers from AI-Generated Blather

I was reading LinkedIn on the can one day and I found myself wondering just how much of my feed was AI-generated regurgitated pap created by so-called 'content creators'

12/08/2023

Aliens Threaten to Destroy Earth Because of AI

AI is basically the Athletes Foot of the universe – it’s damned uncomfortable and it’s really annoying to eradicate.

12/08/2023

Simplistic Social Media Puts Intern to Sleep

Man marketing to CMOs discovers they specialize in extremely boring and simplistic social media posts.

11/08/2023

Liam Johnson, Age 3, New CEO of Bendi Co.

The business world was shocked today when Liam Johnson, an otherwise unknown 3-year-old was promoted to the role of CEO.

11/08/2023

Business Bankrupted Nanoseconds after Unlocking Synergies

June 14, 2023 – Analysts were shocked by the sudden bankruptcy declaration of Occidental-MIU Ltd. only nanoseconds after the much-heralded merger of the 183-year-old Occidental News Corp and the 3-month-old MIU Ltd. Over the intervening weeks, we at F$JNews have conducted the kind of in-depth repo...

10/08/2023

Established Authors Sue First-Timers

I received a threatening letter from the Author's Union that perfectly mimics the letter written to the AI companies...

10/08/2023

Business Guru Reveals His Secrets

At first, the offices on the 42nd floor of the Hitchhiker Tower seemed bland and ordinary. It took only one frosted door before we realized just how usual it was.

09/08/2023

New Study Reveals Real Impostors Don’t Suffer from Imposter Syndrome https://buff.ly/457lzDQ

09/08/2023

The LinkedIn Post That Changed Chuck Macquire’s Life

Chuck MacQuire's small business was struggling, then he saw *this* LinkedIn post!

08/08/2023

Black Accountant Celebrates Juneteenth as Largest Write-off in History

Thomas B. Franklin's family has a unique Juneteenth tradition that goes all the way back to the day of their emancipation.

08/08/2023

Man Invests $399, Actually Discovers Wall Street Secrets

Man's life is actually changed by $399 investment in Wall Street Secrets...

06/08/2023

Fearless Venezuelan Bond Holders Make Mammoth Investment in Kakhovka Dam

Demonstrating their reliable nose for opportunity, major investors in Venezuelan bonds surged into a bond underwriting for the Kakhovka dam in southern Ukraine.

06/08/2023

Man Loses Family, Job, after 25,000 Work-Life Balance Posts

Edward Nox discovers that you can take a fascination with work-life balance just a little too far.

05/08/2023

Paris Riots Raise Climate Concerns

Fully 3% of all French greenhouse gas emissions come from burning cars and no less than 8% of toxic pollution résultant de the same source.

04/08/2023

Dictator Shares Secrets at Kindergarten Career Fair