05/06/2022
Reposting my testimony here. ♥️
In life, as much as possible, we want to be in control. When things, don’t go our way, we tend to question God. Oh baka, ako lang gan’to?
March 30, 2022, when the Developmental Pedia said, “Mommy, Daddy, si Zev po ay may Autism with Global Developmental Delay”. As parents, our hearts were shattered. Although we’re already aware that Zev is different and there are really some delays on his development, of course as parents, we were praying na sana Lord, delays lang. Little did we know, it’s AUTISM. Ano nga ba ang AUTISM?
According to Psychiatry.org, Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD) is a complex developmental condition involving persistent challenges with
social communication, restricted interests, and repetitive behavior.
Common signs of autism are
*Avoiding eye contact.
*Delayed speech and
communication skills.
*Reliance on rules and routines.
*Being upset by relatively minor changes.
*Unexpected reactions to sounds, tastes, sights,touch and smells.
*Difficulty understanding other people's emotions.
Then, everything finally started to make sense. Most of the signs, showing kay Zev. Ah kaya pala hirap minsan si Zev i communicate yung feelings nya. Ah kaya pala, delayed speech nya. Oh, kaya pala sya nagti tiptoe. Kaya pala hindi sya minsan responsive sa name nya.
But more than anything, Zev is very loving, he’s very affectionate at gusto lagi ng cuddle time. Gaya ng lagi naming sinasabi, the words of affirmation we recite before sleeping; ZEV IS SMART, ZEV IS STRONG, ZEV IS HEALTHY, ZEV IS BRAVE, ZEV IS LOVED, ZEV IS ENOUGH. We want him to grow up not letting autism be the only thing that defines him.
That night after nya ma diagnosed, I was crying to God. Not praying. But more of asking Him, “Why Zev? Why us? God, I can’t figure out what you’re doing anymore.” Then now I realized, believing His promise, demanded FAITH. When we accepted Jesus as our Savior, He invited us to trade our plans to His. We thought that life will get easier, but it began to look different than we have ever imagined. As I let Him direct my steps, it seemed He was leading me to the middle of nowhere, rather than in the direction of a promise fulfilled. I DIDN’T DOUBT THE LORD’S PRESENCE, BUT I QUESTIONED HIS PLANS. My confidence trembled. On my good days, I felt optimistic and persistent. On my bad days, I felt angry and confused.
As I cried that night, sabi ko, "Could You just
show me what You're doing, Lord?" Until now, I’m still waiting for His answer but that night I also realized,
A God of infinite majesty can't be measured. A God who unleashes miracles can't be contained. A God whose love is eternal can't be explained. Perhaps that's why Ecclesiastes 11:5 reminds us: "As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child,so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.”
God sees more than we can see. He knows more than we know. He works in ways beyond our comprehension. (Isaiah 55:8-11)
And if we agree to follow Him only when we understand what He's doing, we'll always stop short of experiencing His inexplicable wonders.
Of all the words Zev can’t say, he knows how to sing worship songs and he can say Hallelujah!
Madalas, may mga buhay talagang pinapadala ang Lord satin to remind us of our faith and that He will fulfill all His promises in His right time. Not our will but His.
So it may still be blurry as of today, I wanna proclaim Psalms 46: 1-3 (NIV)
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear,though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
