19/07/2022
When it comes to relationship and marriage, I am a firm believer that people do change. Yes, I know you’ve heard many times, “Don’t marry someone with the hope that they’ll change” “marriage magnifies character flaws and strengths” and so on.
Well, this advice remains true and unshaken, nevertheless, we as human aren’t perfect and so, the question now is, “Do we jump out of every window of relationship because our partners have character flaws and we’ve been taught they won’t change in marriage but will most likely get worse instead?”
The truth is, we all have areas in our lives , issues and character flaws that would be term “red flag”, a very bug one at that, if we were in a relationship leading to marriage then”, but some of us can attest that we have come to learn, unlearn, change and grow.
Even after marriage, some of us will agree that we have learnt COMPROMISE, selflessness, the ability to LEARN and to dump the “MY TRUTH”, “This is who I am, you have to deal” attitude to embrace GROWTH in wisdom and in CHARACTER, while we will also agree that we’ve had seasons in our lives when we notice “the not so good changes in our spouses” e.g once caring and now, they don’t care about your feel”.
So Yes, people CHANGE. Anyone can make an effort to alter specific habits, behaviors or personality over time with some dedicated effort. But while people can change, not everyone does.
So to the SINGLES :the test to know who can and who has the capacity to work on themselves, who will be willing to change/compromise is before marriage “when they show you times without number, PRACTICALLY that they are TEACHABLE, FLEXIBLE and RECEPTIVE, BUT “if they refuse correction and stay adamant on their stance MOST OF THE TIME or ALL THE TIME, then you should find the safest exit out.
If one party keeps compromising, then control and abuse is inherent.
Mutual compromise is Key.
