Marjani Lane

26/07/2024

Have you ever been vetoed?

is a something used in unethical dynamics -where one partner can reject or veto another partner’s decision to do something. This veto can be used for more than just dating a new partner. It can end relationships, experiences, or prevent certain milestones. It differs from rules or boundaries in that is overrides all of those things.

We typically hear about vetoes with couples and hierarchy but egalitarian people use vetoes. And all dynamics can be affected - not just those with couples.

24/07/2024

I was interviewed for an article in the USA Today about polyamory and pregnancy!

The polyamorous community wants people to know that pregnancy does not suddenly disqualify someone from being ethically non-monogamous.

22/07/2024

First lengthy video but going over some things to look out for this week.

Quick recap;
- my workbook for couples new to polyamory will be dropping this week.
- I will be in an article this week for a major newspaper. I expect some backlash on my page and on the landing site of the article. If not - great, if so, don’t worry. And no need to engage with toxic commentary.
- expect more activity between here, Insta & TT.
- Yay for post partum hair loss lol! It’s coming back slowly.

Www.marjanilane.com
Www.amazon.com/shop/marjanilane.

22/07/2024

For my followers from or living in NC.

I’m originally from NC and racism is rampant. That’s why Texas as a whole doesn’t bother me. I’m from the real south - ye ol Dixie south. This is normal behavior in many places.

A social media post from Plum Southern Kitchen & Bar says that the restaurant is closed for a summer break. Employees tell a different story.

22/07/2024

And some light bloodwork too!

20/07/2024

19/07/2024

Hi everyone! 🌟 You can support me by sending Stars - they help me earn money to keep making content you love.

Whenever you see the Stars icon, you can send me Stars!

19/07/2024

So I’m kinda lying on this a bit - I’ve already got most of the gift box set up - but I will be uploading its content to my subscribers content on Instagram lol.

I do hope you try and give this checklist a shot - even if you only pick a few things to. It doesn’t have to only be done in July either.

As much as I enjoy making content - it is labor, and sometimes it’s labor off of trauma I’ve experienced while dating. I know many of you can identify. Being non-monogamous has its challenges, let alone if you’re a racial minority. The microaggressions and microaggressions DO take a toll. I joke about it a bit in my recent reels as well as make educational slides about it.

Self dating allows us to reclaim our time and energy from spaces like that AND for ourselves.. loving on yourself intentionally is a necessary step towards a better intimate life.

I promise you.

It isn’t too late to join us through this checklist! You may still find you want to do all 31 days or just finish out the last 10 of the month. This is a free downloadable.



For those on Facebook - here is the direct link to download the checklist: https://www.marjanilane.com/product-page/31-days-of-self-dating-checklist

For those on Instagram - check my links in the bio.

18/07/2024

For the naysayers - mono/poly relationships do exist and they can be successful.

Wild right?

Consent, communication, boundary setting, confidence and comfort in one’s self etc…

These are the ingredients to making it work.

I will say I’ve been in a few mono/poly relationships and they didn’t end because I was or even because that person was - other irrelevant factors came into play for the most part.

Does it work for you?

Have you been luck or not so lucky with these dynamics if you pursued them?

15/07/2024

What does commitment look like to you?

As we all know - our idea of looks a bit different than just having one partner - so how does it look for you?

Is it a focus on sharing and completing goals? Maybe it’s just being with two people? Is it respecting and supporting your partners boundaries?

11/07/2024

Some preferences, not all, are based out of a harmful prejudice against a class of people. This class of people can be based off race, disability, age, sex/gender (not including sexuality - more of this issue is sexism and transphobia), etc…

From thinking that Asian women are more submissive *screams in racism* to assuming Muslim men are abusive *screams in Islamophobia* AND THEN building your preferences off that.

This goes doubly for us Black folk - thinking Black women are loud and unruly (the sapphire stereotype - post coming soon) or Black men are shiftless and criminals - and building your preferences off that…

(That’s internalized racism / antiblackness by the way.)

The list goes on and on. I’m not asking you to change your ways right now. But I am asking you to question your preferences a bit more thoroughly. Even I have preferences I need to counter on occasion to see where they are coming from.

09/07/2024

come on out of your caves and nooks - it’s your time to shine:

What FICTIONAL with -monogamous themes or plots would you suggest?

08/07/2024

Someone in one of my posts kept reiterating that she, a nonBlack person, had a preference for Black men, but would not clarify why she had that preference.

I would like to do a friendly reminder that many racial preferences for races other than someone’s race are typically rooted in some racial stereotype. I’ve even had someone conjure that their racial preference was due to a traumatic experience which, who am I to disprove, but her behavior leaned towards f/tishizing BM.

This can turn into some nasty work in the non-monogamous community too. Non-Black polyamorous LSers 🍍 who literally HUNT us down at events but refuse to consider us for dating - I see you and I’m not taking my foot off your necks either.

Same for those with POC partners who refuse to date anyone else of that race who is a different gender (or lighter/darker complexion - *aggressively points at people who will date lighter skinned Asians but not darker skinned Asians*) despite being bi/pan.

Your preference can very likely be a prejudice.

07/07/2024

Now that we know some new words lol, what are your orientations?

I am panromantic and pansexual. I do wish I had more opportunities to experience q***r intimacy but I’ll just send that out to the universe lol.

05/07/2024

🤣🤣🤣

05/07/2024

https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.marjanilane.com%2Fproduct-page%2F31-days-of-self-dating-checklist&e=AT28SX850Ka5x3UmoxZrMuN3EHQYjAKKeEXzMMF0B07xjsMvRx7e611Op2bbToVanDt53KUjcI8n05bX7ZSDcEkd5iywzZfKrgzsKKtS2SCrwv1p5QKNfN3Sbrrd

05/07/2024

If you disagree with me - which you are well within your right to do - do it on your own page.

With that said - I’m aware of the “downlow” phenomenon in the Black community - distinctly aware. As well as its supposed ramifications on Black women who date & marry the men who are downlow. However in response to that I urge you to rewatch Oprah Winfrey’s segment about down low Black men and observe the homophobia riddled in the episodes. As well as read the open letter from Dr. David Malebranche () to Oprah about the show where he notes the segment was fearmongering - “Black women, look out for your husbands, they could be lying and cheating on you with other men and putting you at risk for HIV."

I will cover this later and the devastation it’s had on our community especially with bisexual and homosexual Black men, MMF and multi man focused non monogamous dynamics and more

Kthxbye.

04/07/2024

Dear Community, We are asking for support to uplift our c… Felicia Chavando needs your support for Support Sol Tribe Shooting Survivor in Healing Transition

04/07/2024

Okay - so I should have been able to remove most of the typos lol. My apologies! Hopefully this romantic orientation post looks better!

04/07/2024

What song sounds (or feels) like how you want to be loved?

Abstract question I know but maybe there is a song where the lyrics match a type of love you’d like to receive? Maybe the music itself moved you in that manner? Maybe a song that reminds you of ?

For me it would have to be the long version of Anniversary by Tony! Toni! Tone! - towards the end with the beautiful harmonizing - just that sound alone lol. I’ve attached it - genuinely one of my favorite songs.

03/07/2024

Celebrating my 4th year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

03/07/2024

Warm reminder to follow me or subscribe on:

TikTok: MarjaniLane - https://www.tiktok.com/?_t=8nhFZADyU7K&_r=1

Instagram: MarjaniLane - https://www.instagram.com/marjanilane

Website: www.marjanilane.com

03/07/2024

Would you believe that every woman isn’t ? And would you believe that that little detail can be very critical to a fantasy MFF ?

And I hate to be that guy (not really) but yall have got to get these conversations going before thinking that being bisexual is “enough” to make this type of dynamic successful.

03/07/2024

When i first started writing content - I was a bit unsure of myself. It was more of me being self critical and a perfectionist than worrying about how others felt. Over time though I felt more comfortable and then I started to see the impact I had.

I was / am just saying what’s in my head in a super concise way but for some people my content - a simple sentence - can be the lightbulb clicking on or the word they didn’t know existed.

If you are someone who is a creative - don’t stop. Your words may be needed. I was happy with a few thousand followers in the beginning but then my reach swelled. And honestly - more than the size of the following I appreciate the messages and comments where people felt inspired or seen .

GO AND WRITE, RIGHT NOW PLS