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"Don't search for the deepest meaning of Life; knowing your own peace and happiness is enough."
(1)

31/10/2023

It's pouring heavily outside while I'm preparing my cup of coffee inside. I listen to the sound coming from above—the noise that raindrops make when they hit my tiled roof. It never fails to calm me and make me wonder about certain things in life. I'm kind of like reminiscing about my past when it rains because every drop is like a memory getting played in my head—those happiness and smiles I got when I was jumping around in a puddle of water, the day I played with my friends by throwing a bucket of rainwater from the drain of our house.

I keep smiling while sipping my freshly brewed coffee while remembering the struggle I've been through in my life, the path I take, the pain I receive, the regret I feel, and the sadness I bear. Everything is coming back to me, but I appreciate the warm thoughts and experiences that make me who I am now.

I love reading books, even when there is a thunderstorm. The background sound of lightning and the rustling of the tree make me feel at ease, and the mist and cold breeze from the rain make me shiver in tranquility. I enjoy every rainy moment of my life because those are the moments that always make me appreciate even the little good things that happen in my life.

Rain might be a disturbance to others, but it is my peace. When it pours suddenly, it might be a warning for a bad day to someone, but to me, I take it as luck.

Rain is like an abstract of beauty, a wonderful phenomenon where I can feel the solitude I've been looking for, a moment that recharges my energy after a draining battle, the moment I always wish for everything to be alright when it is pouring down all the burden that the sky is carrying. I wish that every time it rains, it will be the moment where all people feel refreshed, forget some loads in their minds that they are carrying, and escape from the harsh reality we are all living in.

Written by- uky_yoo

Artwork by-MSsm996

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06/10/2023

It's time for us to move on from the past that makes us suffer. I think now is the right moment for us to feel alive once again. We should let go of all the hatred and regret inside of us and try to view this world from a fresh perspective, and we should start by finding the beauty of this life even though everything seems dark.

Written by- uky_yoo

Artwork- Cutteroz

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20/09/2023

I think it is time for us to move on and let go of all the sad and depressing things that happened in our past. If we keep dragging them all the way through our lives, we will never be happy and free in this world.

The day will continue to pass by, and it will not wait for anyone who is still holding something from the past. The pain, regret, guilt, pride, hate, fear, and sadness inside of us will only grow, and time will soon come when we will finally be swallowed by them. Then we will become an empty body with a broken soul.

At this moment, we must look at our lives in a different way, like seeing some beautiful things in the midst of chaos and trying to understand that the life we live is cruel, but there is still some hope that some of our past must be left behind.

There are always opportunities to start a new life and view this life from a mystical and pleasing perspective. Well, changing it may not be as good as yesterday, but if we keep changing even a small portion of our negative emotions or despair, maybe our lives will become a little bit more cheerful.

Don't stop breathing even if it was hard to catch your breath; don't stop walking even if you were carrying a hundred burdens; don't ever lose faith in yourself because you will become fine one day; don't ever lose yourself in trying to be perfect because everyone is not; we all have imperfections and flaws outside or inside of our souls, so just be yourself.

Now, from this moment on, I will tell you that we must move forward in this world without thinking about what others would feel or think about us; we must charge into this life with self-confidence and dignity.

I think it is also time to accept that everything that happens might have a reason; every wound, bruise, and cut from the past will only stay fresh if we can't move on from them. The right thing to do as of now is to move forward and face reality, so our pain and regret will finally be healed.

Maybe letting go and leaving everything behind is the only solution to feel alive once again.

-uky_yoo

Artwork by- Gretchin

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09/09/2023

I am sick of others who don't have an inch of empathy in their soul, people who don't care about what others are going through, and because of that, many of us are now on edge in this world.

I hate people who just do whatever they please through their day without worrying what others would feel about the consequence of their action, like painful words because of a little mistake on a job, a rejection without a valid reason, becoming an outcast in the class because of being indifferent to others,

I despise humans for making things complicated; they know what we need, but they are all busy chasing what they want. While doing everything for their own good, they sometimes neglect others well-being. They continue to follow everything, even when something is wrong with it. They notice and feel it, but they don't give a f**k because it is not about them.

I hate this world for being so cruel to everyone, even if you just wanted to survive. Every day, something will happen that will make you fall to your knees and beg for God's mercy.

I am tired of seeing this world collapse day by day. All of us know this modern world we live in is becoming a hell caused by our own greed. Today, even though our technology is so advanced, it still can't prevent poverty from killing many people.

They said the world is corrupt, but I think people are the ones who are corrupt; they are the ones who cause chaos and cruelty on this planet.

How sad to think that it seems people will never realize that the earth is dying because of a virus called human.

-uky_yoo

Artwork- StefanoBonazzi

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22/08/2023

Sa pag-alala ko ng nakaraan tanging lungkot lang aking nababalikan, 'di ko mawari ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para malaban ang sarili na gusto ng sumuko at huminto sa daloy ng buhay.

Sa bawat paglipas ng panahon napapansin ko ang unti-unting paglaho ng pagma-mahal ko sa aking sarili, sa bawat hakbang ko sa daan na aking tinatahak ay siyang pagkaupos ng paninindigan ko sa sarili . Ano kaya ang dapat kong gawin upang ang dating kumpyansa sa sarili ay manumbalik sa akin ng tuluyan.

Iniisip ko araw-araw kung saan ako nagkulang at ang buhay ko'y naging ganito na lamang na puno ng paghihirap at Pagdurusa. Sa pagpasok sa trabaho ako'y nanghihina 'di pa man ito naguumpisa ako'y pagod na pagod na.

Gabi-gabi ako'y 'di makatulog sa mga problema na bumabagabag sa akin, kailan ko kaya matatamasa ang tahimik na buhay, kailan ko kaya matatakasan ang kulangan sa aking Isipan.

'Di ko maiwasan isipin kung ano kaya ang nagawa kong kasalanan sa aking nakaarang buhay kaya ako ngayon ay pinaparusahan ng maykapal.

Sa madalas kong pag bugtong hininga at pag hiling sa langit, umaasa na lang ako na darating ang araw makakasama ko muli ang kasiyahan na matagal na kong tinalukuran.

-uky_yoo

Photo by- Salman Khan

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14/08/2023

Hey, how's life going on? Are you tired? Are you in pain? Are you in the middle of your darkest hours, or are you just feeling sad, lonely, and regretful? Are you having a hard time? Do you want to give up? Or do you just want time to stop, even for a minute?.

Well, all of us have felt that way in our lives one way or another, but sometimes the world is so cruel that we feel it almost every day. We often pretend that our lives are okay in front of everyone, hiding every bruise, cut, and wound you feel all over your body while smiling to say "I'm fine" when they ask if you are okay.

We are so good at pretending to be okay, to the point that we fool ourselves into thinking we are really okay. We often smile to hide our hearts that are crying inside; we are laughing in the midst of fun, but they don't know we are slowly dying inside.

We are so numb that we only feel the agony of our minds; we are so dumb to think that we can be fine if we keep saying "I am Fine" to ourselves.

We are so foolish to think that everything will be alright if we keep hoping and living in this world.

Because the reality is that we always create an illusion made by our own delusion to fool ourselves into thinking that time will come and everything will be fine, but deep inside our souls we know that we are already dead and we are barely walking.

-uky_yoo

Artwork by Prisac Nicolae

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09/08/2023

Musta ka na?, matagal na tayo 'di nagkikita, Ano na ba ang iyong pinagkakaabalahan?, Anong musika na nanaman kaya ang iyong pinapakigan?, kasi ako "Dating tayo" ni Tj Monterde ang madalas kong pakingan habang inaalala ang mga araw kung saan tayo'y masaya at magkapiling pa.

Sa bawat pag-patak ng oras noon ikaw lang ang lagi nasa isipan, ni 'di ko mawari kung saan ako nagkulang kaya nagawa mo kong iwan, habang ako'y naglalakad sa kalsada habang umuulan nung araw na ako'y iyong bigla na lang iniwan, sa mga oras na iyun litong-lito ang aking isipan kung saan ako nagkamali, tinatanong ang sarili kung 'di ko ba napakita kung gaano ka sa akin kahalaga, na 'di ko ba nasabi kung gaano kita ka mahal, na 'di ko ba na gampanan ang mga tungkilin para sa iyo, kasi dati para sa akin ikaw lang at wala ng iba.

Ngayon malaya na ko sa pag-ibig ko sayo napapatingin na lang ako sa langit habang malalim ang gabi, pinagmamasadan ang mga bituin sa langit hiniling na sana'y ika'y masaya at nasa maayos na kalagayan sa buhay, na sana makita mo ang taong magpapasaya at magproprotekta sayo habang buhay.

Ngayon tanggap ko na rin magkaiba ang ritmo ng ating buhay, na tayo pinagsama lang sa isang Kabanata upang mag-bigay daan sa mga susunod na pahina.

Kung tayo'y man pag tagpuin muli ng tadhana sana'y puso natin ay magaling na sa sugat na dala ng kahapon. At nawa'y tanggap na natin sa Isa't isa na tayo ay pinagtagpo lang ni bahala pero 'di tayo tinadhana ng tadhana.

Words by - uky_yoo

Artwork by - Lesley Oldaker

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06/08/2023

People keep asking why life is so cruel yet so beautiful. They have been asking why they struggle so much to experience a little happiness in their lives.

Why do we always find flaws in our own actions, even though we were just trying our best to live happily? We also question many things that have happened in our lives and what will happen in the future because we are not sure if we are taking the right path.

We always compare our lives to those of other people, especially those who achieve great things in their lives, and because of that action, it makes us feel inferior towards them even though we should not really feel it.

Most people lives with burden, hidden pain, regret and longing for something or someone but it amaze that they can still smile because of a small things that happen through their whole life, a simple gesture of greeting from someone you love, an unexpected meet-up with your high-school friend, a warm hugs from someone who care for you, a little fore-head kiss to comfort and assure you, all of those things makes our life a little lighter even though we are struggling to live this reality, it may happen in short amount of time but it can have a big part on our heart.

People know this world is not good and not perfect, but we also know it is okay because in every imperfection we can also see some beauty in it. In every storm, there will be a day when the sun will rise and finally give us some sunlight.

Remember, how we view this world always depends on our own perspective, whether we view our own mistakes as failures or as something we need to grow as people.

I know this world is so merciless, but I feel that there is still some peace and hope living inside of us that can conquer this savage life we living in.

-uky_yoo

Image by- Heriberto García

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01/08/2023

Naranasan mo na ba maglakad mag-isa habang malalim na ang gabi?, na walang tao sa paligid kun'di ikaw lang at nag-iisa, sa bawat paglakad ay may mga katanungan na bumubulong sa isipan mo, mga katanungan sa buhay na gusto mo na lang kalimutan at talikuran.

Mga ilaw sa poste na ang iba ay pundido na katulad nang iyong katawan na nauupos na, sa bawat yapak mo tinatanong mo sa'yong sarili kung tama pa ba ang daan na iyong tinatahak sa buhay, sa pagdilim lalo ng paligid lalong lumalalim ang iyong iniisip patungo sa katanungan kung ang buhay ay karapat dapat pa ba ipagpatuloy kung pighati at dalamhati lang naman ang iyong nararamdaman.

Sa paglipas ng oras at tuluyang paglalim ng gabi napapatanong ka na lang sa itaas kung buhay ka pa ba talaga o humihinga ka na lang. 'Di mo na mawari kung tama pa ba ang iyong mga ginawa o may kulang pa sa iyong pagsasakripisyo upang makamtam ang iyong nais na buhay, Mapapa iling ka na lang sa langit na kung bakit parang pinagkakaitan ka ng kaunting kasiyahan na iyong nais, na parang kulang pa ang sakit na ating nararamdaman sa araw-araw na buhay.

-uky_yoo

Photo by- Gaspar Zaldo

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28/07/2023

I wrote a thousand letters to express my agony, pain, and regret, but no one knew about them except me, the paper, and my pen, which I always use.

I have been writing my thoughts on my tiny little table in the middle of the night, when my lights turn off, and I am just using my dim old Lamp to write my depressive piece.

The sky is so dark, and so is my pen, too. My thoughts are clouded, and so is my art, too. My hand is trembling, and so is my heart too. Every word I write is like an abstract made by my own emotions with a taint of blood on it.

Every piece I have written represents the despair and anguish I feel every day; the chains and shackles from my past are still tied up on my broken legs, and the burden that I carry on my back is still growing.

I don't know if I am still alive while I am writing my thoughts or if I am just a person right now who doesn't sense his soul. I can't feel anything, but at the same time, I experience a thousand sufferings. I can't shout my agony because I know no one would likely listen to my drama, and I can't ask for help because I might just disturb them.

I have been writing a million negative thoughts, but it makes me feel a little bit positive. I have written a thousand words about despair, but it gives me a little hope. I have also written a thousand things about agony, but It gives me a little happiness.

I wrote about all my regrets in my life, but It gave me a simple contentment.

The Pen and Paper are the only ones who are right beside me when my dark thoughts are trying to swallow me; they are the ones with whom I can release all my resentment toward this life, all of my secrets that I have been hiding, and all the thoughts that are killing me inside.

I hope my pen and paper will never leave me like other people do to me because they are the only ones on whom I can really lean, and I can't Live without them Anymore...

Words by - uky_yoo

Photo taken by my Sister

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24/07/2023

Have you ever wondered what life could be like if we didn't expect too much from other people? Then what about if we just stopped caring what others thought of us?

We always question many things while trying to find the right answer on how we should live in this world and how we should achieve great things when others are busy making us anxious. They expect too much from us, even though they do nothing to help us.

People are standing there watching every move we make, and when we mess things up, they are going to silently applaud our failure while tapping our backs like they really care.

I wish we could just stop thinking about how others view us so that we could ease our social anxiety. I also want us to be free from the concept of what others think we should be and do everything we want to do without worrying about what others think of us.

I want us to be free in this world and paint an abstract on the canvas of our lives. We will brush it with the color we want and represent the beauty of a free mind. I hope one day we will be free from the eyes of others who imprison us.

When will the day come when we will have a genuine friend that will really take care of us, appreciate us, and guide us? A group of people around us that will cheer us up so we can have even a little bit of strength to face this hard reality?

I hope all of us will find a Friend that we can lean on every time we have a hard time—a person who will never judge us, a person who will give great advice about life, a person with whom we can convey our true feelings and thoughts without worry, a person who will be our shining light in the middle of the dark. I hope the people around us will be the fire that will warm us and not burn us. I hope we will have even one star around us that will guide us to the beautiful and peaceful path of life that we always dream of.

- uky_yoo

Artwork by- Maria Edwards

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22/07/2023

Loving you deep inside is so hard for me, knowing that you will never know my True feelings for you. Time continues to flow while I am spending it with you. Just seeing you almost every day makes my heart flutter, but at the same time it continues to be shattered.

I want to say "I Like you, I Love You, I Miss You" but I am afraid that I might lost you, we sometimes go in a Café to have a simple yet meaningful conversation, seeing you laughing, smiling and happy while sitting across me is truely satisfying, I feel I am flying in the sky having you as my bestfriend, we often lean to each other when one of us is having a hard time about certain challenges in this life. We talk about every great thing that happens to us, even if it is small, because we believe it has a big part in our hearts and makes us feel alive.

We watch each other grow as a person and as a human being; we know each other's preferences for the things we like and dislike; we know our thoughts in the middle of silence; we know our feelings for what we are saying; we know almost everything that happens in our lives. That is why it is so hard to think that someone might replace me.

People around us see that I'm always right beside you and trying to protect you, But I feel time will come that I might need to leave or back away from you especially when you find someone who have a courage to truely walk right beside you, , who can give and do everything that you needed, who can say with honesty what he really feels about you thus never give a white lies to comfort you and lastly he is the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

I keep thinking about what I should do when that time comes: should I fill up my astray and drink a crafted beer to make myself a little bit okay? Should I shout my agony and pain on top of the mountains to let the gods hear about my complaints and disappointment? Or Should I walk away from you completely to move on, even though nothing really happens between us?

But as of now, I just really want to do things as your best friend, like we always do. If the time comes when I will have the courage to say every feeling that I keep to myself, I hope I am not too late...

- uky_yoo

Picture is from a scene in Soundtrack #1

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17/07/2023

I keep dreaming about certain things that I want to do, and most of them are things I can't do anymore in reality. I just keep daydreaming and praying that someday they will come true. I want to do something that makes me more proactive in our society, but I have been held in my own prison for almost five years. My body is shaking and my eyes are trembling because of the fear caused by the presence of people around me in our community.I stay in my room while thinking about why I became so weak that I couldn't go outside without my family.

My life has stopped for five years. I am stuck in the same place without moving even an inch. All of my peers before me are now busy chasing their dreams, while here I am in my tiny little room, scared to go outside because of the anxiety that shattered my whole life.

I don't communicate with my friends anymore because I might just disturb them, and I am not relevant anymore for them; they are now too far away for me to reach them, and I barely even see them on the horizon.

I want to conquer this life once more and become someone that can withstand even the deadliest storm that life can throw at me. I want to do things and get back to my life when I had the self-confidence and strength to do things I normally did.

I want to pull the fear that has been stab in my hear for so long. I want to shatter my own prison and go outside my comfort zone and confront everthing that I have avoided till this day.

I want to live like a normal being and do something for my family, who have been helping me for so many years while I battle anxiety.

I wish one day, when the time is right, I will finally have the courage to fight this cruel life once more and become someone I wanted to be—a person I always dreamed of.

Words by -uky_yoo

Artwork- ANG KIUKOK

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03/06/2023

Binibini

Ako'y nabighani sa'yong kagandahan,
Sa yapak mo ika'y pinagtitinginan,
Ang 'yong Halimuyak na Nangingibabaw,
At iyong mga mata na nakakapukaw,

Nung tayo'y nagkakilala at nag-usap,
Pakiramdam ko ay nasa alapaap,
Sa mga salitang ka'y tamis mong bigkasin,
Ako ay nabihag at naging alipin,

Ang 'yong kaakit-akit na Katauhan,
Na parang isang Puting Rosas sa gubat,
Na hindi matutumbasan Kailanman,
Ni walang bahid ng kahit anong lamat,

Takip silim ka'y lalong nagliliwanag,
'Di mawari ang aking nararamdaman
Sa Ngiti mong nakakapagkabagabag,
Tila'y ako'y nahulog na ng tuluyan,

Puso'y nanghina nang aking mabalitaan,
Ang 'yong biglaang pagliban sa 'ting Nayon,
Para makapagtapos sa ibang bayan,
Nang makamtan ang nais na edukasyon,

Sa sulat na aking pinanghahawakan,
Ako ay mas lalong pinanghihinaan
Sa ating naudlot na pagmamahalan,
Na umaasa na lang sa Kapalaran,

Binibini ikaw ay walang kapantay,
Kaya para sayo ako'y maghihintay,
Makapiling lamang kita habang buhay,
Lahat ng bagay ay handa kong ialay,

Kung 'di man tayo bigyan ng Tadhana,
At tuluyang ipaglayo ni Bathala
Wag kang magalala ako ang Bahala,
Hahanapin kita kahit sa dulo ng Tala.

Written by - uky_yoo

Artwork by - Marmelo Valencia

01/06/2023

We

We breathe in to inhale some fresh breeze and feel at ease.
Then breathe out to release some burdens for our inner peace.
Sometimes we walk slowly while enjoying the small amount of time we spend seeing beautiful scenery.
But we are running towards our dream in a hurry while having deep worries.
We are just dancing to the rhythm of our lives, even though we know nothing about them.
We keep singing from our soul, but nobody is likely to listen to it.
We have been whispered to death many times to end our funny misery.
They've been shouting at us, but we keep ignoring our cruel reality.
We ask too many questions about the bad things that happen to us.
But we often miss out on the true answer right in front of us.
We delude ourselves into thinking we can perfect our own smiles like an art.
While our honest hearts are still breaking apart,
Are we really living in a world full of the sorrow that we always see? ,
Or we are just dying in a world full of hope that we don't see.

We just think too much about life, like other people tell us.
Maybe that is why we always hear the hymn of death every night near us.
We wanted to live not just by being alive,
We are dying, but for us, we are already dead inside.
We want some Hope and Light in the middle of the night.
We need some Despair and Darkness to grow, but not for a whole day.

We are suffering so much from Overthinking that we keep wishing to the fallen stars in the darkness that one day...

Just one day,
when we wake up, We will have the Courage and Will once again to conquer this Ruthless World we are living in.

- uky_yoo

Artwork by- Maljuk

05/05/2023

Tired

I feel like I am in an endless loop of misery,
Experiencing a thousand different kinds of tragedy,
Walking while carrying a hundred predicaments,
While my spirit and body are in confinement,

How many times do I wonder what life should be like?,
If there is a beautiful thing I miss out that I don't see,
If everything I did was really called living,
Because I just keep running but can't feel anything,

I watch many people crying and dying.
Thinking about why this life is so cruel to all of us,
But how amusing that some are still breathing and trying,
And even hiding a million scars that can only be seen at dusk.

After hearing a billion words of comfort, it makes me feel sick.
People keep trying to say "it's fine" to me, but sometimes it just makes me tick.

I am Tired!!!!!

Tired of trying to please my useless self,
Tired of listening to myself talk about my own mistake,
Tired of making mistakes that will only burden everyone,
I'm tired of everyone who says I should keep going.

My soul is screaming, but I am the only one who can listen to it.
My eyes were drenched, but I am the only one who can see it.
My body is deteriorating, but I am the only one who can feel it.
My Life is done, and Everyone Would Be Happy to Say it.

- uky_yoo

Artwork by:

26/02/2023

Ingay sa Isipan

Isip ko'y gumagawa ng tinig sa'king kaluluwa,
Musika at letra na ang pagbigkas ay kamatayan,
Ang pagkatahimik ng kapaligaran ay siyang pagkabulahaw,
Kailan kaya ulit matatamasa ang tunay na katahimikan,

Sa bawat panalangin kaginhawaan ang tanging hiling,
Sa bawat paglakad ikaw lang ang gustong makapiling,
Ikaw ang tanging panaginip habang ako'y humihilik,
Ang Nakaraang sarili na nais kong manumbalik,

Kahit ang pagtangis ay 'di mapawi ang himig ng kalungkutan,
Kaisipan na laging nasa gitna ng Konsiyerto, Bulongan man ako ng maligamgam na mga payo,
Ito'y tanging ingay na dadaan at aking kakalimutan,

Patawarin sana ako sa timbre ng kawalang pag-asa,
Mga nota ng buhay na 'di ko pinanghawakan,
Sa paghina ng aking boses at paglakas ng ingay sa Isipan,
Buhay ko'y naging Liriko ng Pagdurusa,

02/02/2023

Why? Did I? When?

Every day I always wish to have a peaceful day.
Every night I long for a beautiful sleep,
Living every day is becoming a nightmare.
I want to rest, but I do not have the right
I do nothing to become tired, but why do I feel so restless?
I'm still indebted to everyone around me.

Why did I become so useless that I began to hate myself?
Why have I become so weak that I think a common fever will kill me?
Why do I have to live to suffer and become a burden?

Did I do something really wrong?
Did I become a cursed person?
Did I lose my sanity to think that it is better to die than to move forward?
Did I become so selfish that I lost any kind of hope?

When will this suffering stop?
When will I become who I was before?
When will things go smoothly like before?
When will I learn to love myself again?
When will I become who I want my life to be?
Why did I end up in a prison without a lock and key?
Did I become hopeless, and that is my sin? ,
When will this punishment end, or is it really going to end?...,

But still, after all of those thoughts inside me,

Those painful memories,

I still want to live.

- uky_yoo

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