15/01/2023
Jimmy Goddard: Ladies and Gentlemen My guest at this time, LIVE! from the Jungle Room “The Captain” Raymond Rivers…
*As Raymond Rivers steps into the frame and the audience break out in “Raymond Rivers” chants.
Jimmy Goddard: Raymond, It’s been a while since you’ve been on Wednesdays nights. As you are usually dominating Saturday nights “The Summit”. And Here, our debut episode of The Jungle sees the return of The Captain himself. How are you feeling?
Rivers: I’d be a liar to say it doesn’t feel damn good to be in Ghana.
[audience cheers]
Rivers: My wife and I are also going to match the amount of the total donations received for the mother of civilization through the .
[crowd cheers]
Rivers: But there’s this lingering itch that I haven’t seemed to get rid of…Jimmy down by my thigh region there… it’s like-
*Raymond begins scratching near his thighs and looking inside his pants sarcastically…
[crowd laughter]
Jimmy Goddard: Assuming you're referring to Thee Cory Bishop and his comments about you lately.
Rivers: You said it not me…But what I AM saying is this… Cory… Brush ya teeth next time before you put my nuts in your mouth…
King: Ahh! [laughing]
JR: No needs to apologize to the network anymore.
honestly I’m ALMOST disappointed… See Cory DESPITE you being related to the SINGLE most GARBAGE human being to have ever existed, I actually liked you… shocking I know - I mean I was thinking about that… watching that episode of deadliest catch. And between you and me, Ricky is the better actor… I’d tell you not to quit your day job but you aren’t any good at that either.
[Crowd “ohs”]
King: Did you catch that episode JR?
JR: I don’t think I did. I might’ve been here, at work. Like Cory should’ve been…
Rivers: It’s almost like you forget your kin to a man that tried to end my life last year… and you want to make jokes… as if we’re supposed to laugh and act like I wouldn’t drag that bag of Orangoutangs ass you call a face across that canvas for free…
Lawler: AHH!
JR: Oh my
Rivers: Out there dressing like me right? That’s understandable. I’m glad you finally realized how much better it feels to be me than you. I ALMOST found it funny just how much The Behemoth meant to you… It's really a just a Paradox isn't? It sounds like you're going through a goddamn identity crisis. Hanging on to his coattails. At least voice had the balls to step in the ring with the REAL KRAKEN. Not some prop from Deadliest Catch. I want to say you ain’t been the same since, but I haven’t followed your career. I’m more of a see-it-to-believe-it kinda guy. And I haven’t seen nothing but you waste a full year flipping through a book of lies you tell yourself at night to feel good when you clock in the next day. And to make matters worst, it isn’t even a damn record book. And I know why Cory… You tired of seeing me…Just like your chum bucket brother. Every page is Raymond Rivers. And you can’t stand it. The strongest muscle in you body is your tongue. And judging from the fact that you seem to take my dick in your mouth, you must like squid a lot more than you think…So I tell you what. Why don’t you sail that piece of s**t you call a career over to the Summit and watch me dissect Phillip King. And there after take the Paramount Championship from Chad Gable…. Then and ONLY THEN… Maybe JUST MAYBE… I’ll waste my time with you… You fu**in blowfish… And Jimmy…
Jimmy Goddard: Yes?
Rivers: Who the F**K… eats squid pie?????
[Audience laughs and the commentators can be heard audibly trying not to laugh.]
*Jimmy gestures as he doesn’t know and Rivers walks off shaking his head.
