The Bathgate Bugle

21/06/2024

Jobs boost for Bathgate

A timely jobs boost for Bathgate with a new Turkish Barbers opening up tomorrow on the site of the old Hoover repair shop, just up from 1912.

The news however has not been universally Bathgate accepted with one Local who has no knowledge of money laundering telling the Bugle "this smacks of money laundering".

Adding "we're at saturation point of barber shops in the Town, the only way they could meet demand is if they open up the back, sac and crack trim".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

21/06/2024

Rumours of car park extension denied

Rumours of a car park extension at Gideon Street to accommodate a significant rise in SNP supporters wanting their photo taken with Right Hon Martyn Day MP has been dismissed by Local party organiser Calum McDonald-Robertson.

Laughing he told the Bugle "Marty might be like the pied piper without the pipe and charm, but don't worry we'll manage to get everyone in the shoot even if we need to do an aerial photo from the High Church bell tower".

Adding "all we ask for anyone wanting to join us is to get up early for the one hour induction and training on how to proudly hold up the SNP logo".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

21/06/2024

Skinheads & Earrings back in the Dreadnought tonight

Skinheads & Earrings back in the Dreadnought tonight. A handful of tickets left for sale at the usual outlets.

Local Promotions Team
The Bathgate Bugle

18/06/2024

Tesco win best decorated supermarket drinks aisle in West Lothian during the Euros

Tesco Bathgate has won the best decorated supermarket drinks aisle in West Lothian during the Euros after final inspections completed on Monday night.

Assistant Manager of Spirits, Wine, Beer and other alcoholic drinks and mixers, Graeme Clark told the Bugle "I didn't even know we were in it, we were just slow in taking down the Gala Day decos".

West Lothian News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

17/06/2024

Cancer Research salute Harry Cartmill

A nice message from Cancer Research as they played back Harry's recent tweet, a day on the hills with his dog.

Best wishes to Harry !

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

15/06/2024

Stephen Gallacher MBE

Well deserved for services to Golf.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

14/06/2024

Mistaken identity

A few people have messaged the Team asking if Marty is in Germany with Swinney when he should be in his constituency working hard for his constituents. It's not him, he was pounding the streets today, his first Greggs this week before anyone starts.

We're not even going to comment on the state of the pints.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

14/06/2024

More Mid Street Blues

More Mid Street Blues as a local shop gets bumped for 8 packets of vapes with a man taking a sharp exit as card declined message pops up on screen. Other local shops and businesses are being advised to be on their guard.

The Bathgate Branch of Amnesty International told the Bugle "let's not assume this is blatant shop lifting and illegal activity. The person may have just changed bank accounts and presented the old card and at that unfortunate moment experienced a sharp movement that may have resulted in them wearing brown trousers and to save embarrassment left the store".

Adding "he may yet return to pay for the goods, let's not assume he's disappeared in a puff of smoke".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

11/06/2024

The Page

The Page was set up to promote the great and the good in and around Bathgate. We've done that for the last 7 years.

We've received some strong feedback recently that the Page needs to drop the political stuff and focus on the other stuff, the point being you are already bored with the politics.

We understand that and you don't care if Colin Firth has spent more consecutive days in the Town this year than Martyn Day. We get it and from now we're dropping political side swipes.

Your continued feedback is important to us.

Head of Post Planning
The Bathgate Bugle

11/06/2024

Mid Street Blues

Much noise and buckets tipped over at 3.30am this morning as a local made his way home after what looks a serious sesh.

A local told the Bugle "as the kids were leaving for school I told them hey let's be careful out there the streets a s**t tip".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

Thanks to S for the video/photos.

10/06/2024

B&M find old stock during stock check

B&M has found old stock during a stock check and taking into account the cost of living pinch have kindly offered to freeze the price of the tents found at £45, 2021 prices!

Outside stock Manager Rab Marshall told the Bugle "we've only got 10 of these and it's strictly one tent per person and first come first served tomorrow morning".

Adding "imagine getting away to the camp site over the summer in one of these deluxe tents and sticking your head out in the morning and striding towards the toilet block with a copy of yesterdays Sun under your arm, feeling as proud as Tyson Fury doing a ring entrance".



Local Promotions Team
The Bathgate Bugle

10/06/2024

Time for change in West Lothian

09/06/2024

Zippy and Bungle in West Lothian

https://x.com/MartynDaySNP/status/1799865154055626916?t=rBm5tpcDkhqm7N9aGqVLEw&s=19

Quite the video that, at least the real Bungle tried to get a word in now and again. Time to vote this guiser out.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

09/06/2024

Enterprising parking

Another two examples of the lazy and ignorant who increase the risk to others.

If only we could say "beem them up Scotty".

Thanks to our loyal followers who keep helping to highlight these issues in our Town.

Bad Parking Team
The Bathgate Bugle

07/06/2024

Bathgate Legend

Just under a week ago we celebrated John Newland and today is the birthday of another Bathgate Legend, James Young Simpson.

Local History Team
The Bathgate Bugle

06/06/2024

Tattoo nitemare settled out of Court

Memories Team
The Bathgate Bugle

Tattoo dispute set for Court

A dispute over a Tattoo placement is set for Court with local man Craig Donaldson, 35, Wester Inch suing a local Tattoo business.

Craig told the Bugle "the tattoo itself is top notch but they're having a laugh sticking it there, fair enough I know I said stick it on the chest area but I'm a laughing stock when it's taps aff weather".

Adding "they've stopped replying to my complaints and their last response on the subject was to stick Olive Oyl on it, so it's going to Court".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

05/06/2024

Forbes backing Marty in George Street today

Kate Forbes was in Bathgate earlier today showing her support for Martyn Day. Day who has recently undergone a makeover and ditched his traditional mustard shirt was on top form surrounded by campaign posters displaying himself.

Campaign Manager Archie Fraser Archibald Macpherson told the Bugle "George Street was busier this morning than it was on Saturday for the Gala Day and we'd like to thank everyone who came out to show their support for Marty. When you think about what that man has delivered for Bathgate it was well deserved".

Adding "post event and after 1,546 selfies, we set the sat nav for his office and Kate, Marty and myself chuckled as we arrived at our destination after a drive of 285 metres".

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

03/06/2024

BRB hailed a success

The Buckfast Recycling Bucket at the Gala Day has been hailed a success.

Organiser John Bruce told the Bugle "we're delighted to see the Young Team comply with this idea, even the Dale boys were happy to oblige and place their empties in here before entering the show park or the Gala day park. They sure love coming to a big Gala day".

Gala Day Reporting Team
The Bathgate Bugle

02/06/2024

Fly tipping up the Bathgate Hills

Takes a special kind of person to dump a base of a bed in the Bathgate Hills.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

01/06/2024

Our mailbox

If we had a £1 for every message today saying "do you have the numbers for the lottery" we would have £5 to hook a duck down the shows and win a prize worth 87p all the way from China.

Our Weather outlook Team are rather smug tonight.

Gala Day Reporting Team
The Bathgate Bugle

01/06/2024

Gala Day Parking

When it's 11.58am, the walk starts at 12 and you know the local schenes are rammed.

Thanks to Kenneth for the photo.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

01/06/2024

Elected representatives 'dingy' the Gala day to go canvassing votes

Day with his usual mustard shirt in the wash, folded by a shovel before being placed into the washing machine and sporting a dashing lemon number, back on the canvassing trail with the ex gala day Queen who has failed Scotland in every position she has held. They use the position for their own good and do nothing for the people of Bathgate.

Vote him out on 4th July.

Local News Team
The Bathgate Bugle

01/06/2024

Gala Day Buzz Phrase Bingo

Play along and have a drink for each one you hear on the Gala Day.

Gala Day Team
The Bathgate Bugle

It's a day for the weans

Weathers cracking, taps aff weather!

No darkies tears since they changed the name, just saying like.

It was a good walk

The Gala Day is played out now

Too many gaps in the walk

It was a long walk

It was a short walk don't you think

Better than pre Covid I'd say

Best in years

Good to see lots of Primary kids walking

Not many floats this year followed by naebodys got the time and/or too expensive

Balbardie start their 2025 float preparation on Monday!

Christ is it a year since I last saw you, aye mate just gala days you bump into folk, how's it going, doing away, aye nothing else for it (chat dries up), catch you later!

What's the plans for later ?

BBQ and beers later is it?

Who's turn is it this year to host the p**s up ?

Are we going down the Gala park, aye grass should be dry

Are we going down the shows "and get my shoes ruined in that red ash"

Flower girls looked lovely, poor wee things still shivering though in the shade

Loads of Celtic tops, must be some size of a wedding they are going to later.

Waving at the officials in the cars and saying "That's them away for their free meal and drink....."

The band on that float, that's murder polis

£3 for a can of Tennents in the music tent, that's some mark up

Spot all the proddie weans with the wee Union Jack flags

Spot all the Yessers with the saltire flags

Mind the gala Day bags, cue someone recalling what was in them........even down to the bit of fat on top of the mince pie

Did you hear the drummer boy this morning - aye fcking woke me up at the back of 6

They won the decorated house, really, that other house was far better

Shall we drive round and look at the decorated houses, nah fck that let's get fired into the drink.

It's el scorchio, taps aff weather

These walkie talkie guys think they are the CIA

See you, you were telt not to get that outfit dirty, you're like a tink already

I wonder if the shows make much money, well look at their caravans and mind they don't work through the winter

Time does the walk leave the Academy ?

It's late in starting that's 3 mins past 12

10 mins in "Christ there's the first gap"

He nearly took my eye out with a packet of mini love Hearts ffs

£5 for hook a duck, robbing b@stsrds

I'd love to hear a flute band giving it the bangers and mash

I like your outfit ! "Cheeky bastard I wasn't in the Gala Day"

On it for 2 mins, 25p a spin.

That dog show was rubbish

That bike show, lasted 5 mins watching that Lillian Gish

Gutted there's no arch on George Street, place wasnt the same without it.

See yon John Newlands , nothing but a big w***e master, more wenches than you'd care to count.

That guy on the horse, that's the only ride he's got in him. Hang on it's a woman this year.

Wonder what roasters we'll see today?

Christ don't look now but over there are the clowns from along our street, avoid eye contact or we're stuck for ages engaged in s**t patter.

Look who it is over there, never liked that kant

I wish folk wouldnt wear football tops to the Gala day

What did folk used to say about the Gala day weather if the highland games got a great day?

The wee lassies looked lovely on the floats.

Do you think those floats are safe, imagine going off heid first ffs

If the forecast was s**t could they slide the Gala Day a week?

As long as it stays dry for the walk, that's all that matters.

That Showpark is usually like the Somme, only muddier and saw a bit more fighting.

A day for the weans, another pint mate?

A day for the weans, are we on an all day sesh? Did somebody say sesh ?

The new committee did a great job.

The new committee did ok.

The new committee missed some of the old hands today.

I'm not convinced there will be a Gala day in 10 years judging by the crowd today.

Not much diversity in Bathgate is there?

Fiona Hyslop spotted in Bathgate for the first time since last June

31/05/2024

Gala Day Portaloo woes

From the Gala Day memories Team.

Gala day preparation is all go!

Gala day preparations are in full swing with 10 deluxe portaloos being placed in the Bathgate Thistle Community Football Park and dog walking arena, formerly the Meadow Park.

The Toilets are not in full operation until Saturday.

One Local Alan McBride, 45, Falside told the Bugle "I was touching cloth on the last Gala Day, hate those portaloos but needs must, was trapped inside for over 30 mins, couldn't escape if I wanted to".

Gala Day Reporting Team
The Bathgate Bugle

31/05/2024

Mass brawl at entrance to the shows

Reports of a mass fight with up to 30 youths involved, security overwhelmed and Police arriving in numbers to sort it out.

Sad that families and young children are subjected to that.

Much stretched emergency services dealing with ned central. Sad all round.

Gala Day Reporting Team
The Bathgate Bugle

31/05/2024

GDE

It's Gala Day Eve so time to dust down our award winning Gala Day Poem, "The Gala Day King", 7 years old today.

Admin Team
The Bathgate Bugle

"The Gala Day King"

Twas the night before Gala Day, when all through the house
He was just sat there looking at his adorable spouse
Kids still up and a dad getting flustered
Wondering how long until he'd be stirring the mustard

Gala day claes all laid in a pile
To watch a walk that runs for more than a mile
Kids all excited for they're going to the shows
A wee small fortune Parents paying through the nose

Kids up at half 6 and having a blast
Dad lying half pished after 2 bottles of buckfast
The mither shouts out "get back to yer beds"
Dad grumbles "f**k a few years and we'll be calling them neds"

By 11am they're all nearly ready
Dads back on the buckie but looking quite steady
Mum last to get ready it's always the case
One luck at her husband she mutters "he'll no last the pace"

And so to the walk and find a good spot
Kid wipes his nose and sleeve covered in snot
Mum shakes her head "ya bastard that's no a day auld"
Wee yin looks up and says "aye but i've goat the f...... cauld"

The shout goes up "3 cheers for the gala day"
And the skies looking grey
Dad looks for a quiet place to chunder
His barf covered by a loud clap of thunder

Then down the park to see the events
Dads looking about and sees a queue for the gents
Back of a tree and out comes his tadger
Mrs shaking her head and laughs "f**k he's as rough as a badger"

The shows they did go and the kids had a ball
He's covered in red ash the dads had a fall
His brand new primark jeans and a hole in the knee
But a goldfish in hand and he can't hide his glee

And back home with family and friends for bbq and beers
His drinking head on and going through the gears
He's cooking the burgers and covering them in ash
A once a year chef he'll give it a bash

Sausages cremated and drink flowing fast
She shakes her head and says "make that your last"
He grins and tells her sharply "away ya miserable c***"
Any mare of yer pish and "I'll gie ya a dunt"

He's now completely steaming and he's taken a shine
His mother in law has moved from a four to a nine
As subtle as a brick and he asks for his Nat King
A punch in the eye, boy is that going to sting!

His Mrs spots his keeker and asks him "what's the crack"
"Your fu***ng mother just gave me a smack"
He's lost the plot and he gives her the blame
Time after time he has no bloody shame

The party is all but over, folk are starting to drift
He's been on the p**s for 12 hours that's a fair shift
Sitting in the chair and starting to snore
Waking abruptly and muttering her mother's a w***e

And finally he's out for the count
No sign of a muster nevermind a mount
Classless and a Grade A prize dick
Lying in his big chair covered in sick!