08/12/2022
I feel like I hold a lot of negative energy in this rap persona. The question is, am I ready to let that go? It’s not all bad just mostly sad. It’s artistic to say the least artificial a minuscule mostly real from a skewed perception what percentage. Well, I held back alot but released alot I’ve committed to Salem’s lot it hasn’t brought me alot of relief catharsis and an unopened wrist it’s a fantasy mostly. I mean I am a really nice guy. But there is this side of me that is hard to the core, crazy, hazy, angry, mad, kill you, f**k you, psycho but even in that ID state my ego won’t let this side surface. I keep this in check although I’ve felt like breaking a neck or two. I’m a fighter, failure, fuming, f**k up. But, is that me now. No. I f**k up time to time but I keep my head down and grid, respecting and loving my fellowman regardless if I feel like fighting, bullying or commuting a crime. I don’t slip with the slim. I take care of my son and love deeply maybe that is why I carry so many regrets. I’m an MC and I’d like to shift this energy of the way people see me. Words can be weapons or words can be war words are an art form okay. This persona is by far far out there and although it may seem that I don’t care that is far from the truth every time I get in the controlled cubical I wish to ease some suffering whether mine or someone else’s. This burden I bare bricks in the bundles are brokenness I don’t want to hold onto or carry anymore, so back to perception. Droopy Ey3 has always been about my perception projected onto the audience in turn to project back onto me. But I think, people don’t want to see the ugliest ugliness inside themselves or face it. Even though, healing or insight may occur. The relevance is that evil and good works both ways. And, the good is worth fighting for. Insight is expedient but transformation and healing is just as determined in the psychological experience of art at its rawest form. The meandering I’m addressing is the little success but magnificent effort I’ve put forth to design this psychological experiment through art, rap performance, personal experience, insight, maladaptive beliefs and behaviors and intro and projection contingent upon my success and exposure to the masses. In closing, I will continue this experiment and continue to hope for the betterment of mankind while never forgetting the past yet placing more emphasis on the present state healing to revisit the past later if success prevails. Furthermore, I love people and won’t hesitate if pushed to show my love at any level he or she is ready to accept or be a victim of.