Hyrox training day 46…. sits getting serious!
Summer 2024- officially over 👋🏽☀️
Great questions this week….. 💜
Ben was a funny, happy, outgoing, loud, caring, fun loving guy.To most, this was Ben. However, deep down Ben had serious issues only those closest saw.He really was 2 people.When Ben was about 15 his father was diagnosed with Bipolar, so he lived with mental health from an early age.Loving Ben was hard, but I loved him unconditionally.After a very serious incident between us in summer 2019 he desperately wanted to change and seek help.Together we went for an in depth assessment at the Priory where he was told he was a functioning alcoholic, bipolar and suffered from BPD (borderline personality disorder)They wanted him in for a month long residential treatment, but cost and work meant it didn't happen.Ben just got worse, he was angry, violent, sad, emotional, insecure and needy. He drank heavily, he destroyed relationships with some family members, employees and friends. His behaviour effected time with his kids and his ex regularly kept them away.Suffering from BPD meant Ben was impulsive, reckless, self damaging, had intense moods swings, had low self esteem, anger issues and was paranoid. He also never thought about the consequences of his actions.He suffered with anxiety and was constantly on/off anti-depressants, something I always told him made him worse as he wouldn't stop drinking alcohol with them.Ben constantly f**ked up, but when he f**ked up he was always truly sorry. This is why I couldn't help but love Ben because ultimately I knew he wanted to change and he hated himself for what he did, but he never learnt from his mistakes.In the end this is ultimately what cost him his life.He f**ked up so badly because of his illness, he'd lost everyone he cared about and he couldn't live with who he was.Mental Illness destroyed his life and also ended it.
So important we understand our kids overall health and immune function ⚖️🙏🩸❤️