18/10/2024
Here’s an excerpt from a post I will be publishing on Substack soon. Please consider being a paid subscriber and support my writing! 💚
“My child has been out of daycare all week due to her school having a planned vacation closure and it’s made me so much more confused about what I want in life in all aspects, but particularly as a “working mom”.
I prayed my whole life for not only the chance to be a mom, but to be an active one that can spend my whole day with my child. And for the last two years I have had that. But society tells me that I have to work and provide a living for myself and my kid because it’s just us. So then I put her in daycare while I search for work and then feel guilty because my toddler is spending 40hrs a week away from me even when I don’t have a job so I can be ready for when I do get one just for things to not work out. Then I’m sad and feel like a terrible parent based on society’s standards but then remember that although I did not pray to be poor, I did say that I wanted to be actively hands-on with my child the way my parents couldn’t be. But we need money to live and I have to work for what we need. So I find myself crying every day because I’m either happy that I’m with my child or sad because I feel like I have nothing to show for the last 3 years.
And then I think, who tf am I showing this to? This is MY life! I have to remember that I am the author of my story and I can make as many changes as I want until it feels right for me!
The world puts so much pressure on us to do things the “right way” and I hate that term. My way is the right way! I may not be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s alright with me.”
