The Selby Chronicle

21/05/2024

'80s-style hard rockhttps://theselbychronicle.wordpress.com/

21/05/2024

Uplifting trance anthemhttps://theselbychronicle.wordpress.com/

27/03/2024

25/03/2024

EXCLUSIVE: Jimi Hendrix Spotted in Selby

https://theselbychronicle.wordpress.com/2024/03/25/breaking-jimi-hendrix-spotted-in-selby/

17/09/2023

BREAKING: Evil Ghost Ship Drifts Down The River Ouse

An evil ghost ship was seen drifting down the River Ouse yesterday evening…

An evil ghost ship was seen drifting down the River Ouse yesterday evening. “The ship drifted through Selby towards York in eerie silence. There were no humans aboard – I could just see the t…

13/09/2023

Could Some of Selby’s Greatest Ever ‘Characters’ Return?

Over the years, many legendary Selebians have left us, leaving the town a little emptier. But what if they could come back? Or rather, what if a deceased Selby ‘character’ could be ‘played by someone else’ and resume living in the town? That’s the groundbreaking proposition of postmodern theorist (and street sweeper) Billy Casper...

Over the years, many legendary Selebians have left us, leaving the town a little emptier. But what if they could come back? Or rather, what if a deceased Selby ‘character’ could be ‘played by someo…

09/09/2023

Selby’s Golden Skewer Receives First Michelin Star

There was shock and confusion throughout Selby yesterday as it was announced Micklegate takeaway Golden Skewer had been awarded its first Michelin star…

There was shock and confusion throughout Selby yesterday as it was announced Micklegate takeaway Golden Skewer had been awarded its first Michelin star. The Michelin Guide, which awards stars to re…

09/09/2023

Selby’s Famous Fires

Famous Fires in Selby Historyhttps://theselbychronicle.wordpress.com

08/09/2023

EXCLUSIVE: Taliban planning Selby Town takeover

Militant fundamentalist Islamic group the Taliban are reportedly planning to buy out Selby Town Football Club via the Afghanistan Investment Fund, a newly-minted sovereign wealth fund tasked with investing proceeds from sales of the country’s vast natural resources...

Militant fundamentalist Islamic group the Taliban are reportedly planning to buy out Selby Town Football Club via the Afghanistan Investment Fund, a newly-minted sovereign wealth fund tasked with i…

08/09/2023

EXCLUSIVE: Woolworths Returning to Selby

If there’s one thing that makes Selebians misty-eyed, it’s reminiscing about old shops. Whether it’s Blockbuster, Buckles, Whiskers, the pizza place in The In Shops or the s*x shop opposite Pocklington Carpets – everyone has an old favourite they miss. But one name crops up more than any other: Woolworths...

If there’s one thing that makes Selebians misty-eyed, it’s reminiscing about old shops. Whether it’s Blockbuster, Buckles, Whiskers, the pizza place in The In Shops or the s*x shop opposite Pocklin…

17/03/2022

Selby Woman Who Joined ISIS Stripped of British Citizenship

ISIS member Lisa Mitchell, originally from Abbots Road, Selby, has been stripped of her British citizenship...

ISIS member Lisa Mitchell, originally from Abbots Road, Selby, has been stripped of her British citizenship. The controversial decision was made by Sajid Javid in one of his final acts as Home Secr…

13/03/2022

INSPIRING: The 101-year-old Selby War Hero Travelling to Ukraine to Fight The Russians

The world may have lost Sir Captain Tom Moore early last year, but get ready to meet another remarkable war hero: Selby's very own Captain Tim Brown. And Captain Tim isn’t content just pottering around his own garden - he’s planning on engaging in full armed combat again at the ripe old age of 101!

The world may have lost Captain Tom Moore early last year, but get ready to meet another remarkable war hero: Selby’s very own Captain Tim Brown. Furthermore Captain Tim isn’t content just po…

21/12/2021

Sightings of Shed Seven frontman Rick Witter were reported across the ancient market town of Selby on Saturday. However, the controversial ‘Disco Down’ singer was seemingly not interested in visiting Selby Abbey or The Abbot’s Staith…

Sightings of Shed Seven frontman Rick Witter were reported across the ancient market town of Selby on Saturday. However, the controversial ‘Disco Down’ singer was seemingly not interest…

21/10/2021

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Squid Game’ Coming to Selby

The Selby Chronicle can exclusively reveal that a real-life contest based on hit South Korean Netflix show Squid Game is coming to Selby…

The Selby Chronicle can exclusively reveal that a real-life contest based on hit South Korean Netflix show Squid Game is coming to Selby. An anonymous billionaire aristocrat, from Selby’s pos…

18/07/2021

WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE: Tupac Spotted in Selby

In news that will shock the world, sightings of American rapper Tupac Shakur, long believed to be dead, were reported across the ancient market town of Selby on Tuesday...

In news that will shock the world, sightings of American rapper Tupac Shakur, long believed to be dead, were reported across the ancient market town of Selby on Tuesday. The legendary rapper was ag…

18/07/2021

Horror as Selby District Councillor Is Mauled to Death by Sumatran Tiger

Selby District Council had a meeting to remember yesterday as a Sumatran tiger entered the Council Chamber and mauled to death Councillor Tony Rushton...

Selby District Council had a meeting to remember yesterday as a Sumatran tiger entered the Council Chamber and mauled to death Councillor Tony Rushton. As Councillor Simon Shawright was questioning…

18/07/2021

BREAKING: Giant Metal Monolith Discovered in Brayton Barff

A mysterious metal monolith has been discovered in a remote part of Brayton Barff...

A mysterious metal monolith has been discovered in a remote part of Brayton Barff. The structure, estimated at between 10ft and 12ft high, appears to be planted in the ground. It’s made from …

18/07/2021

Benson’s Bargain Centre Celebrates 30 Years of Trade

Selby high-street stalwart Benson’s Bargain Centre, a second-hand shop specialising in guitars, car stereos and air-rifles, is celebrating 30 years of trade today...

Selby high-street stalwart Benson’s Bargain Centre, a second-hand shop specialising in guitars, car stereos and air-rifles, is celebrating 30 years of trade today. “It’s a remarka…

18/07/2021

Drug Dealer in Legal Paradox

In an unprecedented verdict, local man Craig Bifta, 22, charged with possessing cannabis with intent to supply, was sentenced at York Crown Court yesterday to a one year custodial sentence and a one year suspended sentence, to be combined and served simultaneously with immediate effect...

In an unprecedented verdict, local man Craig Bifta, 22, charged with possessing cannabis with intent to supply, was sentenced at York Crown Court yesterday to a one year custodial sentence and a on…

18/07/2021

Railway Club Gig Ends in Chaos

A gig held at Selby Railway Club last night ended in chaos as raucous fans smashed up the venue...

A gig held at Selby Railway Club last night ended in chaos as raucous fans smashed up the venue. After support sets by The Dirty Longshots and The Laminates, American death metal band Cannibal Corp…

18/07/2021

FOOTBALL: Weekend Highlights

The KY Jelly Personal Lubricant North Counties East League...

The KY Jelly Personal Lubricant North Counties East League, Saturday 26th October Doncaster Bastards Vs Selby Town, 3pm A must-win for the Robins, who will be without injured striker Chris Collier.…

18/07/2021

European-style Coffee Shop Divides Opinion in Selby

An Amsterdam-style cafe in Selby has only been open five days, but is already dividing opinion among townsfolk...

An Amsterdam-style cafe in Selby has only been open five days, but is already dividing opinion among townsfolk. According to its press release, Dave’s Cafe is ‘the perfect spot to relax…

18/07/2021

Selby To Get Its First Nudist Park

Plans for Selby’s first nudist park are well underway, according to tourism development officer Jennie Lowthian...

Plans for Selby’s first nudist park are well underway, according to tourism development officer Jennie Lowthian. “Paris has opened its first nudist park in the Bois de Vincennes, so we …

18/07/2021

Major Hollywood-backed Movie to be Filmed in Selby

The ancient market town of Selby is set to feature in another major Hollywood franchise, just one year after scenes from Fast and The Furious spin-off Hobbs & Shaw were filmed in the area...

The ancient market town of Selby is set to feature in another major Hollywood franchise, just one year after scenes from Fast and The Furious spin-off Hobbs & Shaw were filmed in the area. Mult…

18/07/2021

“I have seen the Brayton Barff ghost horse”: Selby man tells enchanting tale

Rigid Containers machine operator Ernie Powell didn’t used to believe in the supernatural. “My wife Phyllis goes to psychic nights in Pontefract, and I used to tell her she was wasting her time because it’s all nonsense.” But everything changed one night last February, as Ernie exclusively told The Selby Chronicle in a quiet corner of The George beer garden...

Rigid Containers machine operator Ernie Powell didn’t used to believe in the supernatural. “My wife Phyllis goes to psychic nights in Pontefract, and I used to tell her she was wasting …

18/07/2021

SEXCLUSIVE: “I had s*x with the British Bulldog,” reveals Selby woman

To look at Margaret (not her real name), you would think that she’s a typical Selby woman: modest, respectable and somewhat prudish. But Margaret hides a very kinky secret: she had s*x with the British Bulldog when he visited Selby in 1994. Now exactly twenty-five years to the day, she is ready to tell the full story to The Selby Chronicle...

To look at Margaret (not her real name), you would think that she’s a typical Selby woman: modest, respectable and somewhat prudish. But Margaret hides a very kinky secret: she had s*x with t…