A.E's Read appraisal

19/09/2025

The Confidence Gap felt like a mirror held up to the moments I let fear and hesitation keep me small. Russ Harris doesn’t sugarcoat the truth—he explains that confidence isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you build by taking action even when fear is present. I remember listening to this book late one evening after wrestling with a decision I was too scared to make. His words didn’t remove the fear, but they gave me a different lens: confidence is born not from the absence of self-doubt but from moving forward in spite of it. These are the 7 lessons I carried from the book.

1. Action comes before confidence, not the other way around. Harris flips the myth on its head by showing that waiting to “feel confident” keeps us stuck. True confidence is built by repeatedly taking small steps into discomfort until fear loses its grip.

2. Fear is a companion, not an enemy. Instead of fighting fear or waiting for it to disappear, Harris teaches acceptance. Fear is natural, but it doesn’t have to be in control. Learning to carry fear with us while acting anyway is where freedom begins.

3. Defusion breaks the power of toxic thoughts. Harris introduces techniques to step back from limiting thoughts instead of fusing with them. By noticing “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough” rather than believing it outright, we reduce its control over us.

4. Self-compassion is the antidote to self-doubt. Harris emphasizes that beating ourselves up doesn’t build confidence—it destroys it. Treating ourselves with kindness and patience, like we would a friend, creates the inner safety that makes risk-taking possible.

5. Values give courage direction. Confidence without purpose can feel shallow. By anchoring action in values—like growth, contribution, or authenticity—we create a deeper motivation that makes stepping through fear meaningful rather than just mechanical.

6. Avoidance is the fuel of insecurity. The more we dodge difficult situations, the larger our fears grow. Harris shows that avoidance creates a confidence gap, while leaning into discomfort shrinks it. Growth lives on the other side of what we avoid.

7. The present moment is a training ground for courage. Confidence isn’t only about big leaps; it’s about mindfulness in daily moments. By staying present instead of spiraling into imagined failures or regrets, we reclaim the power to act decisively right here, right now.

Listening to this book left me realizing that confidence isn’t a personality trait some are born with—it’s a practice anyone can cultivate. It’s about walking with fear, not waiting for it to vanish, and building trust in ourselves through courageous action.

17/09/2025

"How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy" by Jenny Odell is a refreshing and radical call to disengage from the constant demands of the digital world and reclaim our time, attention, and sense of place. The book’s narrative is a thought-provoking blend of art criticism, ecological thought, and philosophical inquiry. Odell argues that our current "attention economy"—where our focus is constantly commodified and directed by algorithms—is not only draining but actively prevents us from engaging with our physical surroundings and local communities. She redefines "doing nothing" not as idleness, but as a deliberate act of resistance: cultivating deep observation, fostering local connections, and engaging in activities that are inherently non-productive and non-commodified. It's an essential read for anyone feeling overwhelmed by digital overload, offering a powerful message: by reclaiming your attention, you can cultivate a richer, more meaningful relationship with yourself, your environment, and your community.

10 Key Lessons and Insights

1. "Doing Nothing" as Resistance: The core premise is that "doing nothing" isn't about being lazy. It's an active, political refusal to participate in the attention economy, a deliberate act of reclaiming your time and focus.

2. The Attention Economy's Toll: Odell highlights how our constant digital engagement is not only distracting but also eroding our ability to think deeply, connect meaningfully, and engage with the real world.

3. Reclaim Your Time and Space: The book encourages you to create boundaries between yourself and the digital world, carving out physical and mental spaces where your attention is not constantly being commodified.

4. Cultivate Local Connection: Instead of engaging with global, abstract online communities, Odell advocates for investing in your local environment, neighborhood, and physical community.

5. Deep Observation: Learning to "do nothing" involves cultivating the skill of deep observation—paying close attention to your surroundings, the natural world, and the small details of everyday life.

6. The Value of the Non-Productive: Not everything needs to be productive or optimized for efficiency. The book champions activities that are done purely for joy, curiosity, or connection, without a clear utilitarian goal.

7. Embrace Boredom: Boredom is not a problem to be solved with a smartphone. It's a fertile ground for creativity, self-reflection, and new ideas.

8. Re-establish a Sense of Place: In a world that encourages digital nomadism, the book reminds us of the importance of having a deep, rooted connection to a specific place and its history.

9. Beyond Personal Wellness: While "doing nothing" can improve personal well-being, Odell emphasizes that this practice also has larger social and ecological implications, fostering civic engagement and environmental awareness.

10. Your Attention Is a Resource: The ultimate insight is that your attention is a finite and valuable resource. Choosing where and how you direct it is one of the most powerful decisions you can make.

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17/09/2025

03/09/2025

Reading Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members feels like having someone finally sit beside you and say, “You’re not crazy. It really was that hard.” Sherrie Campbell doesn’t sugarcoat the painful reality of what it means to grow up in an environment where love came tangled with manipulation, criticism, or shame. But what makes this book powerful is that she doesn’t leave you in that place, she gives you language, tools, and courage to step forward into healing.

For me, this wasn’t just a self-help book, it was a mirror and a map. A mirror, because it reflects the patterns so many survivors carry quietly: the guilt of saying no, the fear of disappointing others, the constant replay of old voices telling you that you’ll never be enough. And a map, because it offers concrete ways to draw boundaries, protect your peace, and reclaim your sense of worth when family ties have become too toxic to maintain.

Campbell writes with compassion, but also with clarity. She doesn’t minimize the grief that comes from cutting off family; she acknowledges the ache of choosing distance, even when it’s necessary. What she offers is hope, that healing isn’t about fixing the past, but about building a future where you are no longer defined by it.

Lessons from Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members:

1. Boundaries are not cruelty, they are survival.
Setting limits with toxic family members is not an act of meanness, but a declaration that your wellbeing matters.

2. Criticism often says more about them than you.
Harsh or shaming words from family usually reflect their unresolved issues, not your value or character.

3. Grief is part of healing.
Letting go of toxic ties can feel like a death. Honoring that grief is a necessary step toward peace.

4. Shame loses power when named.
Speaking out the patterns of manipulation, neglect, or abuse strips shame of the secrecy it feeds on.

5. Cutting ties may be the healthiest option.
Healing doesn’t always look like reconciliation. Sometimes the bravest, healthiest move is walking away.

6. Self-worth must be reclaimed, not outsourced.
When you’ve been raised to depend on toxic validation, learning to define your own worth is a radical, freeing act.

7. Healing is ongoing but possible.
Surviving a toxic family leaves scars, but through therapy, self-compassion, and boundaries, those scars can become marks of resilience rather than open wounds.

This book isn’t light reading, it asks you to face truths most people would rather avoid. But for those who’ve lived with the silence, shame, or suffocation of toxic family ties, it offers something rare: validation and a way forward.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/45Fh72f

You can also get the Audio book for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the Audio book on Audible and start enjoying it.

03/09/2025

Forgiveness is one of life’s most profound yet painful challenges. It’s easy to talk about, but when the wounds cut deep; betrayal, loss, injustice, it can feel impossible. Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt steps into this tender, complex space with her book The Gift of Forgiveness, written with grace, humility, and deep compassion.

Forgiveness is often described as a gift, but Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt reveals just how hard-won and life-changing that gift can be. In The Gift of Forgiveness, she invites us into some of the most difficult and inspiring stories of people who have faced the unimaginable and still found a way to release their pain. From Elizabeth Smart forgiving her captors, to Sue Klebold confronting the shame and heartbreak of being the mother of one of the Columbine shooters, to Chris Williams offering grace to the drunk teenager who killed his wife and child—these stories strike at the very core of what it means to be human. What shines through in Pratt’s telling is not just the act of forgiveness itself, but the deeply human struggle behind it: the anger, the resistance, the impossible choice to let go when holding on to pain feels like the only form of justice. Through her own reflections and vulnerabilities, she shows us that forgiveness is not neat but raw, personal, and often ongoing.

Pratt shows that forgiveness is not about excusing the past but about freeing ourselves from resentment and finding peace. Through honest stories and gentle wisdom, she reveals that forgiveness takes many forms, yet always leads to healing, strength, and the chance to live with greater grace.

Here are 5 Profound Insights from the Book:

1. Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time choice.
Elizabeth Smart’s story illustrates this truth powerfully. After being kidnapped and abused for nine months, she had every reason to remain consumed by anger. But she describes forgiveness as something she had to practice over time, a daily decision to take back her power rather than let her captors define her. Her journey makes it clear that forgiveness isn’t an instant release; it’s often an ongoing struggle that requires patience with oneself. Letting go isn’t linear—it comes in waves, and that’s part of the process.

2. Forgiving does not excuse the harm done.
Chris Williams, who lost his wife and child to a drunk driver, could have lived the rest of his life bitter. Instead, he chose to forgive the teenager who caused the crash. But he didn’t forgive to erase or minimize the tragedy. He forgave so he could begin to heal. His story teaches us that forgiveness does not dismiss responsibility or pain—it simply refuses to let hatred have the final word. Williams’s grace demonstrates that forgiveness is not about saying “what happened was okay,” but about choosing freedom over bitterness.

3. Self-forgiveness can be the most painful journey.
Sue Klebold’s story reveals just how devastating it can be to turn compassion inward. As the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the Columbine shooters, she carried unbearable guilt and shame. How could she ever forgive herself for what her son had done? Her path was long, marked by self-reflection, therapy, and slowly learning to hold empathy for herself as a parent who didn’t see what was coming. Her journey shows us that self-forgiveness is not about denying accountability but about allowing healing where shame would otherwise destroy.

4. Forgiveness frees the forgiver more than the forgiven.
In many of Pratt’s stories, those who forgave describe it as lifting a crushing weight. One woman who forgave the person who assaulted her explained that her forgiveness wasn’t for him—it was for herself. Carrying hatred, she said, kept her imprisoned, but letting go gave her back her joy and peace. The same sentiment echoes across the book: forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not because the other deserves it, but because you deserve to live unchained from anger.

5. There is no single path to forgiveness—it looks different for everyone.
Some people Pratt interviewed found forgiveness suddenly, as if a light had switched on in their hearts. Others wrestled with it for years, or even decades, before they could arrive at peace. Some chose face-to-face conversations; others forgave silently, within themselves. What all the stories reveal is that there is no “right” way to forgive—each journey is deeply personal, shaped by the pain endured and the healing needed. This insight is profoundly freeing: your way of forgiving doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, it only needs to bring you closer to peace.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/426OQiL
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03/09/2025

03/09/2025

When Fumio Sasaki decided to strip his life down to the bare minimum, he wasn’t chasing a trend. He was a young man in Tokyo living in a cramped apartment, buried under the weight of too many possessions, and constantly comparing himself to others. Goodbye, Things is his honest account of what happened when he stopped organizing, stopped buying, stopped hoarding and simply let things go.

What makes this book different from glossy coffee-table minimalism guides is Sasaki’s humility. He doesn’t present himself as a guru with perfect white walls and curated furniture. He’s just an ordinary guy who discovered that life becomes richer when you own less. The result is a book that feels more like a conversation with a friend than a manual, full of small stories, personal struggles, and the quiet freedom that came from saying goodbye to what he didn’t need.

The biggest surprise? Letting go of things isn’t really about stuff at all, it’s about reclaiming mental space, peace, and clarity.

Lessons from Goodbye, Things:

1. Your belongings shape your mindset.
Every item you own carries a tiny mental weight, reminders, expectations, even guilt. Decluttering isn’t just about cleaning; it’s about lightening your mind.

2. The less you own, the more you notice.
When your world isn’t crowded with excess, you actually pay attention to your surroundings, to people, to the simple joys of daily living.

3. Minimalism reduces comparison.
Sasaki admits he used to constantly compare himself to others. By detaching from possessions as status symbols, he found a way to stop measuring his worth against others.

4. Freedom comes from fewer choices.
When your wardrobe, gadgets, or shelves aren’t overloaded, decisions become easier. And with fewer decisions, you conserve energy for what matters most.

5. Gratitude grows in emptiness.
Owning less shifts focus from what you lack to what you already have. Minimalism isn’t deprivation—it’s amplification of appreciation.

6. Letting go creates room for identity.
Objects often anchor us to past versions of ourselves. By releasing them, you open space to grow into who you are becoming.

7. Happiness is internal, not external.
Sasaki’s journey reminds us that the search for happiness through buying is endless. Joy comes not from acquiring but from living deliberately.

Reading Goodbye, Things feels like an invitation: not to give up everything and live with a toothbrush and a mat, but to ask yourself, What do I really need? And more importantly, What is all this stuff costing me?

It’s a book that whispers rather than shouts, and in that quietness lies its power.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3HYaXkz

You can also get the Audio book for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the Audio book on Audible and start enjoying it.

31/08/2025

I’ll be honest—I’ve always cared about the planet, but most climate conversations left me feeling powerless, like shouting into a storm. Then I picked up All We Can Save, and something shifted. This isn’t just another book about doom and disaster—it’s a chorus of hope, courage, and real solutions. It reminded me that while we can’t do everything, we can do something—and that something matters more than we think.

All We Can Save isn’t a single voice—it’s a symphony of thinkers, scientists, activists, and storytellers, led by the incredible Ayana Elizabeth Johnson. What struck me most is how deeply human this book feels. It’s not just about melting ice caps and carbon stats—it’s about people, communities, and the stories that connect us to the Earth. Reading it felt like sitting around a fire with wise friends, each sharing a piece of the truth we need to hear.

The book dismantles the myth that climate change is too big for us to influence. It offers science, yes—but it also offers heart. Essays and poems reveal the resilience of women leading climate movements, the brilliance of indigenous knowledge, and the urgent need to rethink business as usual. What I loved most was its refusal to dwell in despair; instead, it insists that courage and creativity are our most renewable resources.

Personally, this book pushed me to confront a truth I’ve avoided: I’ve often treated climate action like a “someday” task. After reading these stories, I realized that every choice—what I buy, what I eat, what I amplify—adds up. The message isn’t “do everything,” it’s “start where you are.” And that, to me, is empowering.
If you’ve ever felt climate anxiety or wondered if your voice matters, this book will not only answer that—it will light a fire in you to act with hope instead of fear.

1. Start Small, Start Now
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life in a day. Begin with micro-steps—reduce single-use plastics, shift to plant-rich meals, or cut unnecessary energy use. These small actions compound into a bigger impact.

2. Use Your Voice as Power
One of the most impactful climate solutions is speaking up—at work, in your community, and online. Influence policy by voting, supporting climate-forward leaders, and writing to decision-makers.

3. Redefine Leadership as Collective
The book shows that leadership isn’t just about CEOs or politicians—it’s about all of us stepping into roles where we can make a difference. Collaboration beats individual heroics.

4. Integrate Climate Action into Your Career
Whatever your profession, there’s a way to align your skills with sustainability. Whether it’s choosing eco-friendly suppliers, incorporating green practices, or joining climate-focused initiatives—your job can be part of the solution.

5. Turn Climate Anxiety into Agency
Fear can paralyze, but reframing it into action transforms it into power. Instead of asking, “What if it’s too late?” ask, “What can I do today?” That shift alone changes everything.

GET BOOK: https://amzn.to/3USUYqZ

You can also get the Audio book for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the Audio book on Audible and start enjoying it.

31/08/2025

Jeffrey A. Kottler’s Change is not just another self-help book promising quick fixes. It’s a deeper exploration of what actually causes people to change and why so many of us struggle to sustain it. Kottler draws from decades of work as a psychologist, teacher, and observer of human behavior, weaving together research, stories from his clients, and reflections from his own life.

Kottler doesn’t romanticize change. He admits it is hard, often messy, and rarely linear. People relapse, resist, and sometimes remain stuck. Yet, he shows that genuine transformation is possible and it usually begins in the most unexpected ways: through a crisis, a relationship, a chance encounter, or a deep dissatisfaction that finally breaks us open.

This book forces you to confront why you want to change, what holds you back, and what it actually takes to live differently. Instead of offering “hacks,” it gives a framework of how transformation really unfolds slowly, unevenly, but profoundly when nurtured with honesty, courage, and persistence.

Key Lessons:

1. Change often begins with discomfort.
Transformation rarely happens when life is comfortable. Dissatisfaction, pain, or crisis often serves as the spark that forces us to face truths we’ve been avoiding.

2. Motivation isn’t enough without structure.
Wanting to change is important, but lasting transformation requires systems, habits, accountability, and ongoing reinforcement. Otherwise, we slip back into old patterns.

3. Identity shapes behavior.
Long-term change happens when you don’t just change what you do, but who you believe yourself to be. Shifting identity—“I am a healthy person” rather than “I’m trying to eat better”—is what makes change stick.

4. Relapse is part of the process.
Kottler stresses that setbacks don’t erase progress. They’re part of the learning curve. Those who succeed are not the ones who never fail, but the ones who keep returning after failure.

5. Relationships accelerate change.
Transformation is rarely a solo act. Supportive relationships, mentors, or communities create accountability and encouragement, making growth more sustainable.

6. Insight must lead to action.
Realization alone doesn’t change lives, implementation does. Knowledge without action is comforting but stagnant; action, even imperfect, is what creates momentum.

7. Lasting change is layered.
Surface-level changes (habits, routines) are easier, but deeper change (values, identity, worldview) is slower and more enduring. The two must work together.

Change is a book I’d recommend for anyone who’s tired of temporary fixes and wants to understand the real psychology of transformation. It doesn’t sugarcoat the struggle, but it leaves you hopeful: change is possible, not through shortcuts, but through persistence, honesty, and the courage to keep going.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3Hsoykc

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

The day I stopped seeking approval was the day I truly began to live. The Courage to Be Disliked shattered the belief that our worth is defined by others' opinions and opened my eyes to the radical freedom of embracing who I am—even if it means being misunderstood. Here are seven lessons that have forever changed my perspective:

1. Your Past Does Not Dictate Your Future
The book reminds us that our past experiences don’t have to chain us down. By releasing the weight of history, we reclaim the power to shape our own destiny.

2. Embrace the Freedom of Being Disliked
True liberation comes when you stop molding yourself to meet others’ expectations. The courage to be disliked means living authentically, knowing that real fulfillment lies in being true to yourself.

3. Interpersonal Relationships Thrive on Equality
Seeking constant validation creates imbalanced dynamics. Instead, building relationships on mutual respect and shared authenticity leads to deeper, more meaningful connections.

4. Accept Full Responsibility for Your Life
Happiness isn’t something that’s handed to you—it’s a choice you make. Owning your decisions, emotions, and actions empowers you to take control of your life, rather than waiting for external validation.

5. Value Your Own Approval Over Others’
The journey to self-worth starts from within. When you prioritize your own judgment and values over society’s fleeting opinions, you unlock the true essence of confidence and self-respect.

6. Real Courage Lies in Authenticity
It takes bravery to stand by your beliefs in a world that often rewards conformity. Embracing vulnerability and authenticity, even at the risk of criticism, is the cornerstone of genuine courage.

7. You Create Your Own Narrative
The power to live a fulfilling life lies in the stories you tell yourself. Letting go of the need for constant approval allows you to write your own chapter—one where you are the hero of your journey.

GET THE BOOK: https://amzn.to/4gaZJGb

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31/08/2025

One rainy afternoon, feeling oddly stuck in my own space—mentally and physically—I stumbled on The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I had heard whispers about the “KonMari Method,” but something about that day made me want to hear it in Marie Kondo’s own voice… or at least, as close as I could get to it. The narrator, Sarah Skaer, delivers Kondo’s words with such gentle conviction that I felt like I was being personally invited to change my relationship with the things I owned. Her voice wasn’t pushy—it was peaceful, like a well-tended room. I thought I was just going to clean out my closet. I didn’t realize I’d be cleaning out old emotions, habits, and mindsets. Here are 8 lessons I took away—lessons that didn't just slide in, but somehow settled deep into how I now think and live:

1. “Does It Spark Joy?” Isn’t a Cliché—It’s a Compass: Marie Kondo asks us to hold each item and ask, “Does this spark joy?” At first, I scoffed. It sounded too whimsical for socks or spatulas. But when I actually tried it—really paid attention—I realized how often I kept things out of guilt, fear, or obligation. The way Kondo explains it in the book, with stories of clients crying over coats or smiling at mugs, helped me feel less silly. It became a spiritual practice, not a task. I learned to listen to what my gut was saying through joy. And that compass? It works beyond objects. It helps with people, jobs, and choices.

2. Clutter is Not Just Physical—It’s Emotional: There was a moment in the book when Kondo said that clutter is “the result of a failure to return things to where they belong.” But she doesn’t mean just physically. The emotional charge behind why we accumulate, delay, or hide things in piles—it hit me hard. Listening to this while I sat surrounded by a “miscellaneous” basket that hadn’t been touched in a year made me uncomfortable. But that discomfort sparked transformation. Clearing clutter became a way to let go of old stories and outdated versions of myself.

3. Storage Isn’t the Answer—Saying Goodbye Is: This was probably the biggest mental shift for me. I used to think I had a “space” problem. Kondo gently but firmly insists that the answer isn’t more bins or better shelving. It’s having less. And she’s right. I had been hiding things in labeled boxes thinking I was being organized, when in truth, I was avoiding decisions. Her emphasis on decluttering before organizing changed everything. It’s not about finding new homes for everything—it’s about deciding what really deserves a home.

4. Thank Your Things—Yes, Literally: I remember pausing the audiobook and sitting quietly after she described how she thanks her clothes before donating them, or her bag at the end of the day. At first, it felt strange. But her voice made it sound so respectful, almost sacred. I started doing it, awkwardly at first, then with genuine gratitude. It taught me mindfulness. Saying thank you to a sweater that kept me warm one winter made parting easier. It taught me that endings don’t need to be bitter. They can be beautiful.

5. Tidy By Category, Not Location: This was revolutionary. I’d always cleaned room by room. But when Marie explained the importance of tidying by category—clothes, books, papers, etc.—I saw the genius in it. When you pull all your clothes from every room into one place, the volume is shocking. It breaks the illusion that you “don’t have much.” This method made me see the truth. And seeing the truth is the first step toward change. It’s a strategy I now use even beyond the home—grouping decisions or responsibilities into categories helps me tackle life more clearly.

6. Sentimental Items Should Come Last: This advice might seem logistical, but it’s deeply psychological. Kondo’s guidance to save the most emotionally charged items for last is about building your emotional stamina. She respects the weight of memory and understands that letting go isn’t just about logic—it’s about readiness. As I listened to her describe how people struggle with photos or letters, I felt seen. And when I finally did reach those boxes of old journals and childhood trinkets, I was stronger, more decisive, and more compassionate toward myself.

7. Your Home Should Reflect Who You Are Becoming: Marie doesn’t just talk about tidying up—she talks about visualizing the life you want. The way she encourages listeners to picture their ideal lifestyle made this book more than practical—it became aspirational. I started seeing my home as a mirror of my future self. That changed how I chose what to keep. I wasn’t just organizing—I was curating. Anyone who reads or listens to this book will be gently nudged to stop living reactively and start shaping their space with intention.

8. Tidying Is a Once-in-a-Lifetime Event—Not a Daily Chore: This idea shocked me. Kondo says if you do it properly, thoroughly, and joyfully, you never have to do it again. It sounded impossible, but her tone—so assured, so calm—convinced me to give it a try. And she’s right. When you truly examine your possessions, when you fully commit to the process, something inside shifts. You don’t go back to mindless accumulation. This lesson isn’t just about tidying—it’s about transformation. It’s about doing the internal work so that the external mess doesn’t return.

BOOK:https://amzn.to/4n91cPp

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