Jaguda tv

25/05/2023

16/04/2023

😂😂😂

24/03/2023

If Egypt was in porthacourt😳😳🤪🤪

Portiphers wife: Joeboy lap!!

Joseph: Maley, wetin sup?

Portiphers wife; Joeboy, you wan cap me say you no dey see say my kpekus dy drip for you😋😋

Joseph: Tarrrrrh, disembark from dat careless capping, on how senior man lap the unit con kporrr me ontop ur kpekus, maley na blood over stain

Portiphers wife: u Dey Jonee? See this smaller oo. On how i dy set compass giv u make u for taste wetin ya seniorman dy enjoy, u dey cap vertically. Joeboy u dey fear? Your liver no strong🤪🤪

Joseph: Maleeeey, based on spiritual things and things, make i cap you. Em say give wah belongs to ceaser to ceaser. Your kpekus belongs to my senior man and me Joeboy no get doings for dat kin matter

**Joeboy walks away while Portiphers wife pretends to be sober and sheds fake tears**
Portipher returns and meet her in dat state

Portipher: Banney, wida naa? Na wetin make joy soap no come board,

Portiphers wife: No be your boy, Joeboy, Upon all the bannies for the unit, Joeboy swear say na for my kpekus him wan chook him rod😩😩😩

Portipher: Joeboy lap!!!!!!!!!🙄🙄

Joeboy: Senior man, Wida na wetin sup 😳

Portipher: Joeboy, u way I carry from street,make I rise u, make ur future for fine,, u dun dy do do, dy jump jump, dy clap clap, dy shake shake waist😤😤for where my banny dey

Joeboy: I no comprison ur caprisone, cap me the legit🙂

Portipher: My bannie cap me say u been wan chop her kpekus😡

Joseph: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 🙆 senior man, d person weh play u dat tape, him face no show, him shoe no shine😩😩

Portipher: Esssssssssss, where you? You dy try tell me say i dy cap vertical? On the zero zero hour, i go jazz u down, put am for ur body wotoporiously u no go fit shout die it, I Dey send u go SS3 boys hostel ngwa ngwa

Joseph: Ahhhh Senior man sympathy

Portipher: where you? Die it😠😠 Infact jazz out,
🤣🤣🤣🤣

13/03/2023

Dear Mark Zugarberg,, on behalf of everyone on FB,, please stop free/basic mode,,, we all have data.. 🙄😛😅

08/02/2023

Job Interview. MP

OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Peter
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Peter
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mpumalanga Province
OFFICER:- What is your qualification?
Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?
Monday:- It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER: Meaning?
Monday:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Monday: MP sir.
OFFICER: And what is that?
Monday:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
Monday:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.
Monday:- Meaning?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!

___________

Part 2 coming😁
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06/02/2023

READ AND LAUGH 😂 BEFORE YOU SLEEP 😴

🙆 My dear sister hustle oooooh!
Because there is difference between "Meet my wife" and "Na my wife be this"😂😂😂
🙆 Any guy that spends hours watching Zeeworld deserves ménstrual pa!n😒.. He should return our diçk😠😠

Meanwhile, I'm watching Zeeworld now.... Come and take my own🙆😂😂

🙆 Being handsome doesn't mean you are every girl's type🤗.. Some ladies still prefer their Dragons and Ch!mpanzees😂😂😂
🙆 This one I'm trying to type "Amen" and my phone keeps changing it to "America" so.. Speak Lord!!.. For your servant is listening👂😍😍
🙆 A healthy d!çk stands on his own when it sees it's owner💁.. Which one is "Keep touching it baby, it will soon stand🤦🤦"??😂😂😂
🙆 Dating your neighbour isn't cool at all😒😒.. You will be receiving messages like "Baby what happened?.. I saw your dad fl0ging you today"😂😂😂
🙆 You didn't chat me up since oo.. But as soon as I post fine pics😍, you'll come to my DM and be shouting "RUNAWAY BOYFRIEND!!"
Your entire fàmily will run away.. Idiøt!!😂
🙆 Do you know that two farmers can be harvesting in the same farmland without knowing each other?😳😳..
Do you understand or I should go deeper??😁😂😂😂
🙆 Have you ever walked like a thúg at night just to avoid being r0bbed??..🤦😂
🙆 When you are using your own perfume, you'll be spraying it like🙄 "Fu fu fu fu".. But when you borrow someone else's perfume, you'll be like😠 "Fuuuuuu fuuuuu fuuuuuuuuuu faaaaa faaaa faaaaaaaaaaaa".. Ahhhh!!!!😲 Shey wickedness runs through your genes abi??..😒😒😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Part 2 coming😁
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Please 🥺🙏Add/Follow me for more interesting jokes 🙏👉Jaguda tv
To Be Notified. 😀Jaguda tvJaguda tv

03/02/2023

STATES and CAPITAL 🤔😂😂

Abia - Bad roads 💔

Akwa Ibom - Ashewo 😂

Anambra - blood money 🤣🏃

Bauchi - beggers🤷

Bayelsa - militants 😂

Benue - free of charge🤣

Borno - boko haram😂

Cross River - best cooks 😘

Delta - ogogoro🤣

Ebonyi - garri sellers😂🏃🏃

Edo - witches 🕷😂

Ekiti - Good People 🤣🤣

Enugu - runs girls 🙆🙆

Imo - High bride price🤣

Kaduna - Politicians 😂

Kano - Mumu🙄😂

Katsina - shoe makers😂

Kogi - ignorance🤣🏃🏃

Kwara - big nyash🙆🙆

Lagos - agbero (tauts) 😂

Ogun - juju 😂

Ondo - aja(dogs)😂

Osun - mermaid, 😂

Oyo - dirty💔🤣

Plateau - crisis🤣

Rivers - Cultists

Sokoto - four wives🤔

Zamfara - Sharia🤣

Abuja - Cooperate thieves 🤣🤣

I dey my house , come beat me.
If ur village is included
🚶 🚶 🚶 🚶 🚶 🚶 🚶 🚶
😁😁
Jaguda tvJaguda tvJaguda tv

01/02/2023

LAUGH AGAIN 😁😁😁🤣😀😀😅🤣😀🤣 1. Chai i nearly faint when I heard Sandra singing this morning Reason with me, if I no fine today I go makeup tomorrow. Abi u want make I bleach? E no easy for me💁 🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶 2. My friend forgot his apple laptop on the floor in my room, and my grandfather thought it was a scale. Conclusion : Now the weight of my grandfather is 250,000 naira.😳 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 3. Teacher : agabi swept the whole compound. What kind of sentence is this.? Imoni: compound sentence Sir!🙆🙆 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 4. Photosynthesis is anything that has weight and occupy space. ...thank God say I remember that one.😂😂 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 5. 9JA police 👮would be like, "Why is your car not having A/C? You want to use heat to kill yourself. You want to commit su***de àbí??!! Oga, park well!" 🙆🙆 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 6. Some girls will not kill me ooo... Which one is "HAPPY ENGAGEMENT, DEAR! MORE 💍 💍 💍 💍 RINGS TO YOUR 👆 FINGER.😳😳 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 7. Have been dancing TESUMOLE since morning, I know Satan head should have been broken by now 😹😹 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 8. As far as greatness is concern I didinor have time for lyrics i sing what i hear * four calling bells, Three French hen, Two turtle doves And a partee after partee 💃💃 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 9.I can still recollect this conversation 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 Girl: Boo Xmas is approaching. Boy: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait. Girl: Get me a Tablet for Xmas. Boy: Really? Girl: Yeah. Boy: Paracetamol or Vitamin C? Girl: I mean Samsung Tablet baby Boy: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours!😂😂😂 10. *U SNAP MANY PICTURES DIS YEAR AND GLORY BE 2 GOD, NONE WAS USED 4 R.I.P...TAKE ONE SECOND 2 TELL GOD....THANK U

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Jaguda tvJaguda tvJaguda tv

31/01/2023

I take my old money to bank and dey rejected it 🙄🙄🙄

31/01/2023

GT bank sent me an SMS this morning, dear customer we regret knowing you in this life🙄🙆😂