18/12/2022
G*i Malong Awan Aneiffinally break up with Arual Cyer Mayar. Congratulations Arual for first wasting his time
Title: 𝗜 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗜𝘁 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗕𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗧𝗼 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂
I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help look for you wherever I go. My head tells me to be reasonable, to not expect to see you, but my heart doesn’t want to believe you’re gone. It’s been a while, but the memories are still fresh and the pain still lingers.
Try as I might, no matter how many times I tell myself to let go. Something deep inside me won’t believe it. I keep expecting to see your name pop up on my phone or to see your smiling face waiting to greet me when I come home. But you’re never there and my phone doesn’t beep to tell me you’re calling.
I try not to be sad, I try to smile through the tears, but I just can’t help it. I miss you..I utterly miss you. Sometimes so deeply that I can’t even find the words to describe the pain. I know there will come a time, after a while, I’ll finally be able to let you go.
I’d like to think the pain will dissipate as well, but I just don’t know. I loved you so much and you were such a big part of me- and you will always be.
I don’t know that you’ll ever truly be gone from me, because when you love someone,they become part of you- woven between the fibers of your soul, irrevocably meshed into your very heart.
I’ll keep being brave and giving the world a gentle smile, even though I’m falling apart behind it. The missing aches in a way that I’ve never known, but I’m going to start trying to let you go. It’ll be hard, but I have to if I ever want to be truly happy again.
Besides, I know that you’d want me to make my own way, find my own happiness again. That makes me smile, if only for a moment. So, when you left me, it was never “goodbye,” but “I’ll see you soon.” And thinking that makes me feel the slightest tug of happiness I’ve felt in months. Now I guess it’s up to me to find more of those happy thoughts. I know I can.
If it’s meant to be, it will be because of me.
I’ll always miss you, but it’s time to start finding myself again.
I know you’d want me to.
𝗚𝗮𝗶 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗻 ©