The Squeaky Wheel

04/12/2023

As Vinnie and Kelly enjoyed casual reports of the planet descending into a fiery cloud of despair while they shared a KFC dinner, Vinnie remarked, “Wow, Mom would be rolling over in her grave.”

Henderson, who wasn’t kidding when she promised she would always watch over her son, agreed. But she cited one small problem: having cerebral palsy, she cannot roll over in her grave without the help of a personal care assistant...

A HOLE IN THE GROUND, New York — A recently deceased wheelchair user has spoken from beyond the grave about a new injustice hurled at her by the state’s notoriously stingy home care system. Macy Henderson, 64, was minding her own business six feet under when she heard the distant voices of her g...

01/12/2023

Numerous leaders and mental health organizations have advocated for breaking the stigma and talking about mental health, but nothing has been more successful than the Spotify Wrapped feature. Mere hours after the long-awaited year-in-review music feature dropped, millions of listeners revealed their...

28/11/2023

Gina Jimenez doesn’t like being told what to do. Being mentally ill and neurodivergent, she’s skeptical of most rules and authority, even when they are for her own good. So when the book she was reading contained a helpful trigger warning to alert her to sensitive content that may worsen her men...

27/11/2023

While benefits assessors at the Department for Work and Pensions are to be granted powers of arrest, powers of search and seizure and access to claimants’ banks accounts in the coming months, there is another proposal being floated: the authority to reap the souls of benefit claimants. “I say, i...

22/11/2023

The Barnes family gathered at the beginning of November to catch up and plan their annual Thanksgiving dinner. The matriarch of the family, Ethel, listened intently to her granddaughter, Zoey, describe her dietary restrictions for her newly diagnosed gastroparesis. Among other things, the restrictio...

21/11/2023

Students in Mrs. Charles’ class were instructed today to draw a hand turkey revealing five things they are thankful for. After Timmy Buck traced his left hand, which has only four fingers, it sparked some controversy at Colling Elementary. “Look at Timmy being less grateful than the rest of us,....

20/11/2023

Things seemed normal at the Jacobs household as they gathered for their annual festive celebration. Before digging in, the family went around expressing thanks, and Aunt Martha made quite a bold declaration. “I’m thankful for … for my health,” she said. In most homes this would go unnoticed ...

18/11/2023

“I cannot adequately describe how much easier it is to recruit and retain ableists. They are literally everywhere in this company.”

October was National Disability Employment Awareness Month and the anniversary of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Most Americans celebrate these momentous occasions with Halloween candy and costumes, but one company is piloting an innovative new program by requesting that employees disclose whether....

17/11/2023

How does one woman go undiagnosed for her entire life as an autistic person? Simple: 35-year-old Luna Percey has no special interests. Well, she has some interests, but they are not really “special.” There are a lot of things about Percey that are obviously autistic, but her interests aren’t o...

15/11/2023

After over two years of crawling and physical therapy, Kyle Baker recently took his first tottering steps in his living room. The rest of the family felt extremely underwhelmed. “I thought it would be more polished,” said Janet Baker, Kyle’s mom. “I had my phone in my hand and I almost took ...

14/11/2023

In a press release earlier this week, Oticon announced its latest advancement in hearing aid technology: the “selective hearing” setting. The new feature allows hearing aid wearers to program their devices to eliminate annoying sounds, phrases and more. Sound engineer Elaine Mosky, who is hard o...

13/11/2023

Communication in itself is tricky, and even more so when it comes to meeting a disabled person. To help, here are some questions you should totally, most definitely ask disabled people to connect with them on their level. Of course, please refrain from asking these questions to nondisabled people, a...

10/11/2023

The social model of disability teaches us not only that disability stems from barriers created by society, but also that disability exists along a wide spectrum. It’s not generally productive to compare disabilities, but productivity is a capitalist myth. So, even though the comparison is pointles...

09/11/2023

Victor Nox made headlines this week after the killing of MI6 agent James Bond, but as we all know, he’s a man used to making headlines. He founded Nox Industries as a young man and has grown the business into a multibillion-dollar operation in just a few years. “I’m a self-made man. And I’m ...

08/11/2023

BOULDER, Colo. — A local man was arrested and charged with multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter after standing up from his wheelchair in a public park, causing the heads of multiple onlookers to explode into a fine, gory, red mist worthy of a Korean horror movie. “I’ve never seen such a...

07/11/2023

Monica Lee, 35, would like to make it abundantly clear that her spotless house has nothing to do with the fact that she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, her explanations have raised red flags with many armchair psychologists.

05/11/2023

“It’s just really hard for me to talk about,” Bradley Barter, 38, said shakily. “I knew she had IBS, but I always thought it was something quirky women said to be funny and cute.” He paused before adding, “But what I saw that night wasn’t cute.” He went on to explain that it was his ...

02/11/2023

LONG ISLAND, NY—In the weeks following Halloween, children everywhere are reviewing their treat hauls. The smell of sugar drifts from their lunchboxes as they arrange elaborate candy swaps, but one young wheelchair user can’t ignore the stench of suburban ableism wafting through the air… becau...

31/10/2023

Dear claimant, We are writing to inform you of the outcome of our investigation regarding your health insurance claim (Policy #666666666) and the subject line “Eternal Restlessness Curse.” After careful review and assessment of the information you provided, we regret to inform you that your clai...

30/10/2023

CutCorp has released a new line of adaptive kitchen knives for chopping vegetables, shredding meats and offing husbands. Whether it is premeditated or spur of the moment, murdering husbands has never been more accessible thanks to the knives’ increased-diameter handles. Plus, the no-slip grips pre...

29/10/2023

Visibly disabled Daniel Willis was busy stocking shelves at the local department store at which he is employed when a timid voice behind him asked, “Excuse me, do you work here?” The bold letters spelling “EMPLOYEE” on the back of the bright red shirt were a clue to the nature of Willis’s ...

28/10/2023

BIG MOOSE LAKE, New York — “They wanted permission to use their own noise-canceling headphones for data entry, and I know this story is true … ” whispered Carla Alonso-Díaz to her colleagues at the team-building retreat, “… because it happened to me.” The group of middle-aged human re...

27/10/2023

TULSA, Okla. — In a stunning display of cluelessness, executives at TechHealthXcel called a rushed all-hands meeting in the company’s conference room last Friday afternoon. “Welcome to Disability Employment Awareness Month!” exclaimed Hank Richards, the recently appointed CFO, nearly three w...

26/10/2023

The leaves are falling, the moon is full and every spirit knows this is prime time for haunting. But for Gregg McGhoul, things couldn’t be going worse. Everything seemed to be lining up perfectly. McGhoul’s horror-scope predicted a month full of opportunity, and sure enough, a week later a new f...

24/10/2023

Local wheelchair user who is Middle Eastern has an exciting time trying to get to their flight.

23/10/2023

Thanks to the wonders of Zoom technology, local woman Jennie Li is able to work from home without any of her coworkers noticing she’s autistic. She appears cheerful and outgoing, seems to make eye contact and always has the appropriate facial expressions for the situation. Her secret? That sweet, ...

22/10/2023

This spooky season, a New York haunted house is putting an inclusive spin on fright night. To help disabled guests get an authentically terrifying experience, the popular Goblin Manor has been redesigned to look just like the local Social Security Administration office, where people with disabilitie...

19/10/2023

“We were so impressed by your interview, and your energy!” reads the email from the HR department. “And we know you have a bright career ahead of you! However, despite your academic accreditations in this exact field, the multiple years of relevant experience, your industry-respected reference...

17/10/2023

In a REM-arkable turn of events, professional latte artist Mina Ahmed rocked the sleep science world by actually waking up rested after an eight-hour sleep study. This once-in-a-blue-moon event is making sleep experts pinch themselves to check if they’re dreaming. “I slept like a baby,” Ahmed ...

16/10/2023

STOCKTON, Calif. — 21-year-old Glenda Watterson pushed her walker through Panella Park, looking for an advertised disability meetup. A glimpse of handlebars and the tops of heads over the horizon suggested that she was in the correct place. Watterson considered that this could be another group of ...